In the spirit of ballsy honesty...

... after the Yeag went out on a limb yesterday and posted that thing in the general lounge, I was feeling all warm and fuzzy and like it was time to get a bunch of shit off my chest.

Let me start by saying, sweetie, you're an inspiration to me.

So last night I had dinner with my dad.
I ADORE my father. He's a great guy.

I posted a long time ago about how he stumbled across my ez cloner -FULL :eek:- last time he was in town visiting. And of course I laughed it off, shut the closet door, changed the subject, and suggested that we go have a look at some stupid problem with some shit in my basement, whatever, I forget.

Well, I've been really worried about breaking the good news about me and Yeag to my dad... I was dreading the conversation...
"so how did you guys meet?"
"ummmm ... on a gardening website.... yeeeeeah... that's it...."
But of course that's a bit fucked up; I mean, seriously, I already told my old boss about my grow ( http://boards.cannabis.com/grow-loun...l-dilemma.html ), I should DEFINITELY not be lying to my dad!!!

So I basically spent 2 hours filling him in on about 4 years' worth of news... starting with an abusive relationship I hid from my family... to the REAL reason I kicked Jeff out... to my growing.

I feel like a million bucks this morning.

We had the most intersting talk about cannabis- about the plant, the breeding, the history of indoor cultivation, my personal reasons for growing, the demise of my operation due to the big breakup, the current political mood in our state, efforts to legalize, the evil pharmaceuticals industry, his own fight with depression (which I had been unaware of), and both of our distaste for mainstream drug treatments for physiological and emotional illnesses.

As it turns out we connected on a level that I think has been missing for much of my life... my parents were divorced when I was very young and there has always been a distance between us. It just got a LOT smaller.

So I guess the moral of this story is that openness feels good- clean, really. (And now I won't have to be all weird when I ask him to help me install a solar array on my roof, lol! :D)

Awesome stuff stinky..

Life is like a box of chocolates.. not only do you not know what you're going to get.. but it can be pretty damn sweet at times.

Enjoy,
Bob.

I myself always prefer the open honest route. I understand discretion, but there sometimes comes a point where more damage is done by trying to hide things.

Somone once told me A phrase after I told them I had been lying to a Gf for three years about not smoking Pot when I was regularly well daily.

You only hurt yourself by lying. because when its all said and done. Your the only one who gets hurt. The other person never finds out about it. But you have to live with the guilt.

Its pretty dang tru....

Glad as always to hear your doing well Stinky.

kd

Thanks KD, as always, for your wisdom!

Yeah, this has been a time of MAJOR personal growth for me.

In the last year I have:
-Been arrested
-Had my house broken into 3 times
-Found my live-in BF in shall we say a comprimising position when I came home early from work
-Had said BF steal from me, trash my house, and run over my ankle with his Blazer
-Broken down my beloved grow room
-Confessed my big secret to my boss and father
-and met the man of my dreams...

Not the life I had expected; me, a mousy nerdy state worker with a mortgage, a college degree, and a station wagon in the driveway, but DAMN I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Damn, Stinky. That's some good shit. And I mean it. I'm glad you are feeling "spiritually cleansed" for lack of a better term. I won't hijack your thread by going on about my own issues with honesty, but I will agree with you and KD about the importance of it. It makes you feel so much better.

Unfortunately, I have had to hide things from people my whole life. Some of those secrets came out. Some did not. Skeletons suck.

I've recently tried to make a personal goal to be honest with as many people as I logically can without putting myself in danger of persecution. The most important person is my gf, though, and I've never felt the need to be THIS honest with anyone before.

It's good...goooooood. (Bruce Almighty)


I'm glad you're feelin' good today, Stinky. Hope your whole day goes just as good! :D :D :D


The Fog :rastasmoke:

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Originally Posted by TheGreenFog

I've recently tried to make a personal goal to be honest with as many people as I logically can without putting myself in danger of persecution. :

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Yeah, that's why I made this thread actually.

I feel very strongly that canncom needs the occasional breath of fresh air as it were; so many of us feel persecuted, feel the need to be secretive- and then there's all the kids talking about hiding shit from their parents- I just don't think it's healthy to have to sneak around, and that is why I resent the anti-cannabis laws so strongly, because they make even people who WANT to be honest and ethical and open turn into sort of hermits or outcasts because we fear the judgement of those around us, and of the law.

Most of my close friends knew of my grow actually, and they all asked, "Aren't you worried about being so open?"
But when it comes down to it, I knew I could trust them and count on them (as I found out when I bailed- they really came through), and they appreciate that trust as the gift it is, and wouldn't betray it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by stinkyattic

Yeah, that's why I made this thread actually.

I feel very strongly that canncom needs the occasional breath of fresh air as it were; so many of us feel persecuted, feel the need to be secretive- Most of my close friends knew of my grow actually, and they all asked, "Aren't you worried about being so open?"
But when it comes down to it, I knew I could trust them and count on them (as I found out when I bailed- they really came through), and they appreciate that trust as the gift it is, and wouldn't betray it.

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This thread is as exactly the way you stated it, "a breath of fresh air"....Thanks, from a pretty honest person.

Congrats (again) on meeting someone special and now for bridging the gap between you and your father. You must be on cloud 9!
Isn't life funny? You can infact walk through a pile of shit and somehow still come out smelling like roses. Enjoy it sweetie, you deserve it.

Bree

Since everyone is all happy and such...I think I should take this time to recommend searching for the "The Secret" thread by CanaDanks Inc and going to that link. There is a 90 minute movie (I know...sigh) that is about being positive and stuff. My gf watched it and she's also having a GREAT day today. I have not watched it yet, but will soon. Just thought I'd throw it out there. :D Good brings good...and visa versa.


The Fog :rastasmoke:

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by stinkyattic

Thanks KD, as always, for your wisdom!

Yeah, this has been a time of MAJOR personal growth for me.

In the last year I have:
-Been arrested
-Had my house broken into 3 times
-Found my live-in BF in shall we say a comprimising position when I came home early from work
-Had said BF steal from me, trash my house, and run over my ankle with his Blazer
-Broken down my beloved grow room
-Confessed my big secret to my boss and father
-and met the man of my dreams...

Not the life I had expected; me, a mousy nerdy state worker with a mortgage, a college degree, and a station wagon in the driveway, but DAMN I wouldn't trade it for anything.

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Stinky, dear, - sounds like you need to consider a move to a nicer part of the country - check out the mountain air we have out here in northern La-La Land :D

Thanks Franks... but luckily, the break-ins were a direct symptom of a young, hard-partying tenant who has since hit the dusty trail.
The mountain air around these parts is actually quite lovely.
I could practically spit into beautiful southern Vermont from here.

yup, it is pretty out there, too - Reaper used to truck out there a lot, he said the cooler climate is probably good for your indicas, LOL :D his one-track mind :hippy:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by stinkyattic

-Had said BF steal from me, trash my house, and run over my ankle with his Blazer

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Ouch??

Glad your feeling so well..

Many years ago I decided to stop hiding who I was and what makes up me. It has been very liberating and it beats being sneaky and always hiding something. If they cant accept you for who you are, who cares, what is the point of living a fraud?
I have a friend that smokes weed daily for many years and he continues to hide it from his wife. What a brutal existence..

Good for you, Stinky!

My wife is always appauled by my candor and what I tell people (anybody).
I've told my folks that I still smoke pot (can't hide the couple of childhood busts they bailed me out on...lol) I told them how I like it and how we all grow it up here in Vt. It sounded so good that my mom wanted to try it! LOL I couldn't let her, she never smoked anything or drank any more than one glass of wine at a meal and dad (rip) never drank much of anything alcoholic. Meanwhile while I'm shooting the shit with Ma about herb, my wife is having a bird!
Hey, she knew I was a freewheeler when she first met me. I think that was the attraction, the long hair, bearded, pothead on a Harley. I gotta be me, what made-up story could be better? <G>

Shovelhandle

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Originally Posted by Shovelhandle

I gotta be me, what made-up story could be better?

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Word.
That's so true!!!!
Shov, you're such a sweetie!

...I have been cleaning out my skeleton closet too...I'm gonna need a U-haul...:)..

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Originally Posted by Dutch Pimp

...I have been cleaning out my skeleton closet too...I'm gonna need a U-haul...

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Here ya go

i dont know about the telling your boss you grow..... lol. I mean they already have push over you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by stinkyattic

Thanks KD, as always, for your wisdom!

Yeah, this has been a time of MAJOR personal growth for me.

In the last year I have:
-Been arrested
-Had my house broken into 3 times
-Found my live-in BF in shall we say a comprimising position when I came home early from work
-Had said BF steal from me, trash my house, and run over my ankle with his Blazer
-Broken down my beloved grow room
-Confessed my big secret to my boss and father
-and met the man of my dreams...

Not the life I had expected; me, a mousy nerdy state worker with a mortgage, a college degree, and a station wagon in the driveway, but DAMN I wouldn't trade it for anything.

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That is inspiring. As high school is ending in 3 months and I am going to look back at the fun times I had for the rest of my life, I am wrapping up any bad things I have done. I have gone around to all my friends and said I was sorry (truly sorry too) for all the things I have done. I told my best friend I was sorry that I went out with this girl that I knew he liked (we met her at the same time and we both liked her, but he liked her alot more). To my mom, sorry I was such a little shit and would lie about going out and smoking pot at my neighbors house, all sorts of stuff. I still have about 10 things I need to get off my chest (this one time I lied to a gf and told her that I couldn't go to the football game with her because my mom was sick and I needed to stay home. Instead I made a quick $800.) I am going to tell her that I was not watching my mom, and she wasn't even sick, but it was out of pure greed and I should of either told her the truth about why I couldn't go or I should have gone to the game with her.

Stinkyattic is my favorite person on this forum Xd

Quote:

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Originally Posted by stinkyattic

Here ya go

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....where I go...my skeletons go.....we've been together for so long ....:)..

...p.s........don't get married in Vegas....loved the "skeletons in the closet" cover....:)..

Awwww hashman that's really nice of you... it's great to see so many people being positive lately! :D

JAckdawak- FORMER boss... now friend... and not one to use knowledge for evil... one of the people i admire most in the WORLD.

Dutch....
Remember, the fewer skeletons in your closet, the more room there is for plants. :D

oh btw, vegas pppthbt. i fully intend to get married in vermont, in winter, at some crappy little hayseed ski resort, with an outdoor BBQ reception.

I gotta be there! I'll bring the......a toast?

Shov

The place I'd do it is Burke Mtn!
You have NO excuse for not being there!

Of course, I suppose this entire discussion is putting the cart before the proverbial horse, eh?

well???? in some places all it takes is a shotgun daddy to firm up the details. <G>

Sho (East Burke is kinda like one o' them places....)

you're a nut! =)
i'm up in blackfly country pretty regularly though... throwin' back a couple Trout River hoppin' mad IPAs... throwin' out a line at my favorite fishing hole in Newark... see ya in the summer for sure.

stinky where about do you reside if you dont mind me asking?

Awesome. I am so glad things are turned into a positive direction for you.

Keep smiling. Peace

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Originally Posted by srhksr

stinky where about do you reside if you dont mind me asking?

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that's not newark NJ... it's a tiny town in vt witouht even the dignity of its own zip code... i'm in MA...

I know what you guys mean when you say it just feels so much better to come clean with some shit.

My mom knows that I smoke, and grow, and she is generally ok with it. She has some concerns about being busted and kicked out of my apartment building, you know, motherly concerns.lol

My dad on the other hand, is clueless about everything. I think he knows that I smoke though, because sometimes when I spend the night at his place (I do that every so often, even though I don't live at home anymore) I come in high and it's probably pretty obvious. He has always been the non-confrontational type, he will imply something but never say it. I really want to tell him that I smoke (I don't think I could ever tell him I grow), but I am worried he won't listen to a word I say. He is very closeminded, and I would bet my life that he is extremely anti-cannabis. I wish I could talk some sense into him, and actually be honest but I can't see that happening. :(