Was it all a dream?

Man I miss the past. I am not sure about anything anymore. I occasionally talk to people that used to be real cool with me. My thoughts are blurred because my memory is just messed up and I do believe marijuana is responsible for it. But the point is even though I'm 16 where do I go from here? How far will I go and when will I stop? When I'm facing death what comes after that? Anything at all, will our brains just shut down and it's a empty blackness? Even though we won't know if we don't exist or not how are we sure what will go on? Will we dream forever after we pass away? I mean I'm thinking about all the stuff that used to happen. It's just a blur but it's still there. What happened to all the good times..have anyone else's life been really good in the past and just go to shit and never to be repaired? Just sitting here really has me thinking..is this just what we classify as a "dream"? Who am I really...Why does it seem like I'm just a human just witnessing everything around me go to hell, time passing by living by one string that can easily be snipped? Sorry about my rambling but I'm not sure about anything anymore. I just can't understand how something that was so good just disappear into the past. Why does it seem like I will never find eternal happiness?

Yeah you think that is fucked up> thats the shit I was thinking when i was FUCKING 6. And people wonder why i have issues.

You create your own reality. Thats all I gotta say at this point.

life is just a reality. I believe that there is a ripple, that is basically a culmination of every possible reality. But that is just my theory.

All I know is I really feel like I'm going insane. I keep trying to stop thinking about death and all the negativity around me but it's just not working. It feels like maybe all this I'm doing is just a perception, but it's really all mines. Like this is my world and when I shut down it shuts down. I usually think what I am doing my mind is creating and everyone and everything is what I have created. It's strange and I dunno how to explain it. I think I should lay off the Juana :p.

naw man i went through that when i was six. But i was in deprssion. Maybe you are? who knows.

But lots of people go through a phase where they are overly concerned with their own mortality, and those around them. It usually hits right around the teens years so I guess thats it. Wait for birdgirl to post, shell have more definant answers prolly.

yea man i kinda agree with you on the point that bud has pretty much shot my short term memory in the face... but you know, i have no regrets, im going through some of what your going through, its gonna be hard the next couple of years.. but you know what i realize? life will go on no matter what you think about, so i just try and have fun and live my life as best i can, some bad things are going to happen, thats a given. however good things WILL happen too. just keep your head up man, itll get easier, sooner or later.

bro i cant believe it but i actually know how you feel!
well with the exception of weed affecting my memory, alot of times i look back and wish i could go back to like, elementary or middle school, it was all so much easier..bc we were all naive back then.

its all jsut so weird though, right? reality is so insignifigant, so many peopel base their lives on some assumptions they make about reality at an early age. but why do so many people constrict themselves to viewing reality form a single point? why do we do what we do..
i cant put it in words quite how i like it, anyways. one day im sure ill be able to, and i bet ill be high too.

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Originally Posted by orangeman

All I know is I really feel like I'm going insane. I keep trying to stop thinking about death and all the negativity around me but it's just not working. It feels like maybe all this I'm doing is just a perception, but it's really all mines. Like this is my world and when I shut down it shuts down. I usually think what I am doing my mind is creating and everyone and everything is what I have created. It's strange and I dunno how to explain it. I think I should lay off the Juana :p.

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and what you have to realise is, death is jsut a transition from a phase to another. absolutely nothing more then that. its nothing to be afraid of. all the pain in the world, its the same energy that positivity comes from, and everythign else. what im getting at, its all equal. you jsut have to interperit it in a way that can become positive, instead of jsut feeding off naturally positive actions/emotions.

do i make sense?

try to cut back on the weed if its messing with your mind, thatt a clear sign form your body to give it a rest for a bit. try smoking only on weekends, that works real nicely for me. you gotta realise, sobriety is still a cool state to be in, its nice..being high is great too, but its all equal! nah mean? haha, peace bro

You don't know orangeman very well, this guy smokes so much im suprised he can have enough motivation to make this thread.

Just remember man, all we have to do on this earth is die. That is the only given thing we are gonna have to do. Because of this, it is pointless to dwell on it. We all come to terms with death eventually, it is different for everyone. You will probaly be hit with it late one night.

well, i think we obviously all have different perspectives, experiences, etc...so we do create our own versions of life within ourselves, definitely.
but we're all in this together, you think you just created this post? hell no mang, im as real as your nipples when they get hard because of the cold.

you'll find out about death when you die, makes sense, no?
'til then, enjoy life and don't worry, because everyone...and I mean EVERYONE has thought those exact thoughts in their lives before.

Good luck, and enjoy life man :)
taking breaks from the huana always helps getting back on track as well.

peace to you brother

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Originally Posted by DannyMan

you think you just created this post? hell no mang, im as real as your nipples when they get hard because of the cold.

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what the fuck? lol

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Originally Posted by Professor Dan K.

what the fuck? lol

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exactly.

perfect example of why no one created me from their minds. :thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by SkatePopwar

you gotta realise, sobriety is still a cool state to be in, its nice..being high is great too, but its all equal! nah mean? haha, peace bro

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I wish that was so. But being sober is so boring and my mind only stays on one thing. At first I could notice my mind being calm when I'm sober but now it's just as rushy when I'm sober as when I am high. And me being high makes me more normal. I feel like I actually am apart of what I'm doing, when I'm sober I just feel like an outcast even though I get so much love. I really think I'm facing depression but if this is the case I've been facing it since 13... I really don't think its a mind state for me and sometimes I wish my mind could be how I am when I'm high, sober..without the strange feelings 24/7 you get when you're high though of course lol. The weirdness, I could go without. I'd like it to last for just as long as it does..only about 4 hours or so.

then my advice to you, is to chill on the weed for a few weeks. 2 or 3 seems sufficient. its going to be hard, i can tell, but those feelings will surely balance themselves out after you become accusotmed to sobriety. if they dont? then its not the weed..once you do start up blazing again, try not to smoke as much as you have been. once you go from getting high all day everyday, to having mindblowing highs every few days or so..well, for me at least, i never wanted to have a high tolerence again!
idk...take my advice if you want, if you dont its your call. but you gotta be strong, and remeember you are in control of you, not the reefer...:rasta:
peace man

edit onto my other one-


--find something to do with your hands..play an instrument, play a videogame, take up a cheap sport (skateboarding is good), jsut something to keep you from having nothing to do but smoke weed. i think people form weed habits because when they start smokign alot, it becomes all they do, and then eventually they will forget how to have fun in another way besides getting high. it becomes their only way then know to have a guaranteed good time, to release and express themselves. you just have to find a different source of enjoyment and expression!

try it if you like..if you dont want to, its up to you. jsut trying to help a brotha out :)

you just described almost exactly the same wayi feel.i could never articulate my thoughts on it as well as you did and reading that kind of put it in perspective a little more:rasta:

I think we all went through these thoughts one time or another. Yeah I think we all want to go back when things were much easier. But I find if I keep living in the past I'm missing whats gonna happen to me in the future.
I hope you get get past this soon OrangeMan, I know it sucks.

Ill let you borrow a bullet :o
Just kidding man, stay positive.

life is what you make it. try not to concentrate on the negative. pot is not giving you these negative thoughts, but it does make you think deeper thoughts about what you were already thinking, sometimes making things seem more extreme than they really should be. I smoke atleast 10 grams of chronic homegrown daily and I stay positive and get my shit done. You're 16...get a car... get a job... get a girl...make yourself happy. Then again, weed effects everyone different, some in good ways some in bad, you may just not be able to handle it and keep your life balanced. If so, definatley ease off the ganja (never thought I would ever say that hahaha). But occasional use is almost always good. I hope I helped you out and I hope this reply doesnt reflect how damn high I am right now.......peace......

i think exactly what you think..but stuff more crazy .. like what if the world really isnt what it is...is it just what i see it as? is it just a stupid test? why does everything happen the way it does..why do we have vision, why do we have brains...just endless unanswerable questions...

haha bro i know exactly what you mean btw im maddd baked ha!:dance:

Its actually rather simple...stop smoking for a while shithead!...

Smoking everyday keeps the mind in a haze, and even though it is usually an anti-depressant, a common side-effect from heavy use is depression/anxiety.

I know what you mean...and I've been there...so trust me, if you stop smoking, your thoughts will stop...Can't you just stop for a while you friggin crackhead?

It doesn't make you crazy, but it can make you think you're going crazy.

(Yes, I'm being comical...but its serious information....listen to it!)

everything in moderation!!! don't abuse or U loose...

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Originally Posted by orangeman

Man I miss the past. I am not sure about anything anymore. I occasionally talk to people that used to be real cool with me. My thoughts are blurred because my memory is just messed up and I do believe marijuana is responsible for it. But the point is even though I'm 16 where do I go from here? How far will I go and when will I stop? When I'm facing death what comes after that? Anything at all, will our brains just shut down and it's a empty blackness? Even though we won't know if we don't exist or not how are we sure what will go on? Will we dream forever after we pass away? I mean I'm thinking about all the stuff that used to happen. It's just a blur but it's still there. What happened to all the good times..have anyone else's life been really good in the past and just go to shit and never to be repaired? Just sitting here really has me thinking..is this just what we classify as a "dream"? Who am I really...Why does it seem like I'm just a human just witnessing everything around me go to hell, time passing by living by one string that can easily be snipped? Sorry about my rambling but I'm not sure about anything anymore. I just can't understand how something that was so good just disappear into the past. Why does it seem like I will never find eternal happiness?

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You think too much, putting yourself in a perspective you'll never reach until you face death. You never going to find happiness if you don't seek it. The good times roll as we slowly decay into non-existance. Enjoy it while you are still young and healthy. Stop thinking and do it. Whether it's taking a break from weed, wooing a beautiful girl, whatever you desire, you should seek. You can have everything in the world, and you can never buy that time back. Therefore you are equal to everyone else. Why waste it in such a trance?

normal people: orangeman, don't think, just do. be a part of their system.

tokinasianguy: orangeman, these questions are hard to answer, and i'm still in the process of dicovering these answers, but what i've picked up along the way is, life goes by so damn quickly, and i'm wasting my time trying to figure out how to live my life, when i should just live it. At this point in my life, i feel that if i were to die, my body would rot, although my soul or the essence of my being will join a collective consciousness that comprises of all the essence of life that once existed. This collective consciousness could also be labelled as God, although it does not resembled God in the traditional sense. The idea is that this collective consciousness is an all knowing entity that influences the universe in ways we can't even imagine and it has been in existence as long as this universe has been born.

happiness appears to us in many forms and is completely circumstantial, but i understand what you're after. true happiness, a smug content feeling, no worries inthe world kinda deal right? yeah i'm after that too. but how does one acquire happiness? i have my ideas, but i don't want to bore you dude.

These internal thoughts can drive a person crazy. they loop in our minds and manifest themselves into other questions we can't answer but attempt to anyway, which is how people end up stalling their lives or partly like me, realise that life in this day and age is almost not worth living. almost.

Orangeman, you and me are a lot alike...Don't worry, you're not going insane. Try not to over-analyze everything because then you WILL go insane! I don't know WHAT the meaning of life is...I think about it all the time. I just try to go with the flow...don't know if that helps...PEACE!!!

I don't think your problem lies with weed, I think the problem (just like any potential happiness) lies within yourself.

For the longest time I was obsessed with death. Not the physical pain of dying, which I was also afraid of, but what comes after -- the thought of non-existence is something that's difficult to wrap one's head around, in fact it's impossible for us to fully concieve because we don't not-exist. I think people therefore create a preconcieved idea and emotion for death, the 'empty blackness' that you mentioned. But think about it, man. If what happens when we die is that we no longer exist, it's not as if we're suddenly smothered under an inescapable darkness forever. When you're alive, you need light to percieve dark, and dark to percieve light. When you're dead, you percieve neither, because you simply aren't there.

I know it's a frightening concept, not being here... and in a way we do create reality. What would light be if it never touched our eyes? What would sound be if it never touched our ears? What would anything be if it was never pondered by our brains? When you die, this simantical world that we've built... this universe of words and symbols will simply no longer be viewed as such by you. But that's nothing to fear at all, because the world of words and symbols we have built, our senses, our concepts of future and past, are all Maya -- they are an illusion. The past was never here, it's only ever been now. The future will never come, it will only ever be now. Material possessions, your house, your cat, your own body; they're not objects, but events. Your memories, like everything we percieve, are echoes of reality, but they too only exist in the present, nothing 'fades away' into the past, just like you won't 'fade away' into blackness when you die. The event that is 'you' simply shifts to another state of being.

That probably comes off as a lot to digest, but you seem like an intelligent person, so I don't doubt that if you keep seeking answers, you'll find them in good time.

Happy trails.

yeah..you cant create or destroy energy. everythign around us is energy, even us! to say we cease to exist when we die is rediculous...

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Originally Posted by MacWQ33

Its actually rather simple...stop smoking for a while shithead!...

Smoking everyday keeps the mind in a haze, and even though it is usually an anti-depressant, a common side-effect from heavy use is depression/anxiety.

I know what you mean...and I've been there...so trust me, if you stop smoking, your thoughts will stop...Can't you just stop for a while you friggin crackhead?

It doesn't make you crazy, but it can make you think you're going crazy.

(Yes, I'm being comical...but its serious information....listen to it!)

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LOL this post made me laugh. And yeah I realize what I have to do...I have to stop...maybe next year, it'll be my new years resolution. But as for now...c'mon, ffs Christmas is almost here! I can't stop now lol!!!

don't stop smoking dude, just stop contemplating the meaning of life!

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Originally Posted by TokinAsianGuy

don't stop smoking dude, just stop contemplating the meaning of life!

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Ok that's easier. But I honestly need to take a break :p. When 98% of the time when I'm sober I think about getting high I think it's time for a break...

you dont have any memories of the past probly because you were always high in the past

tupac talked about death all the time... he even wrote rhymes as if he was already dead. He smokeed loadsa weeed. He suffered from depression. Now he knows what happens when u die.

he was almost obsessed with death, he read all them books..

tibeten book of the dead , ponder on this, life after death alll that stuff

Yeah I know...I think I'm slowly getting past it though, last night I just had a peaceful sleep. My mind was clear and I was thinking of nothing. I prayed before I went to sleep and asked for nothing but positive energy from God. I'll try anything right now to get just a little peace and quiet :p.

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Originally Posted by orangeman

LOL this post made me laugh. And yeah I realize what I have to do...I have to stop...maybe next year, it'll be my new years resolution. But as for now...c'mon, ffs Christmas is almost here! I can't stop now lol!!!

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LOL...yeah, that's a good New Year's resolution...but set it so it will start Jan 2...cuz you gotta be smoking New Year's Eve/Day!


Or make it so your resolution is to stop smoking 5 times a day. Then you can keep your promise to yourself by only smoking 4 times a day....