Make a wish thread

u ever read the monkeys paw where the guy makes a wish but everytime he does it grants him the wish but somehow fucks things up?
i think one of em was he wished for $200 and his son dies at work and the company gives him a severance pay of $200...

ok so this is how the game works,
u make a wish and the next person grants it but somehow messes it up and then they to make a wish for the next person to mess up, and so on and so on..

ill start
i wish i had a monkey

You geta monkey but the monkey has to crawl out of your ass to get to the real world! hahaha.
ok i wish i had the biggest taco in the world

u get it but the meat has been posioned with anthrax

i wish i ruled the world

I wish everyone would join the chat.

you get the biggest taco in the world but the meat is rotten and causes explosive diaherria!

I wish I had a pound of weed!

haha this is awesome!! great one!

you can have the biggest taco but they make the sour cream by letting 100 monkeys run into it and jerk off all over.

i wish i had 200 dollars ;)

everyone joins the chat but is instantly killed by an e-terrorist

i wish i had a pound of cannabis

u get ur pound, but just beofre u smoke it u find its been eaten by some sort of bug :p

i wish i had a horse

you really dont want a horse.

u turn into a horse but as soon as u turn into a horse your in mid jump and you break your leg, and low and behold your owner shoots you dead!

I wish I had the worlds' only money tree

you get your money tree, but i fucking steal it.

i wish didnt have school tomarrow.

You get your horse but when you look in the mirror your realize you are the horse!
haha this is fun
i wish i was jesus

you people would make horrible santa's...

u get to be jesus, but guees what happen to jesus?...

i wish i could have sex with jessica alba :D

you find out jessica alba has a monster pussy and it swallows you alive.

I wish i had a huge marijuana garden in my room.

you get to have sex with jessica alba but you get so nervous you can't get it up lol

I wish I could win the lottery

u win the lottery but lose the ticket

i wish i had an erection 24 hours a day :D

You get the errection for 24 hrs but at 24 hrs and 1 second your dick falls off
I wish i had a job

hahahaha "guess what happens to jesus" You get a job..but your forced to work!!! horrible thoughts.
i wish that i had a van made of mari j

Dro: Your "job" is to scoop out the anus of old people who are too constipated.
Ducky: Your van is yours, but as you're taking it apart everything is covered in oil and gasoline. It lights up in a spark.

I wish I had a ferret.

u gt it but u fall asleep one night and it crawls up ur ass and suffacaties

i wish weed was free

Damn at least the van would still get me high!
Its free but you get the death penatly whenever you destroy the thc in it. muwhaha
I wish that i didnt have to get up to get some cake.

You get a maid to do it but every night she chains you up and gives you 50 lashes.

I wish the world had peace.

u egt peace but only after the machines wipe out the human race

i wish i could have sex with 2 girls at once ( i dont mean a threesome...i mean 2 at once!!!)

You are having sex with both girls, but they decide to go in opposite directions, and both of your dicks snap off....

I wish I was Jay Leno

Quote:

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Originally Posted by MacWQ33

I wish I was Jay Leno

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You are now Jay Leno. But your first day on tv, you tell a racially sensitive joke, get cancelled, and become a has-been overnight.

I wish I had 2 High chicks to give me a blowjob one at a time while the other one watches, and takes bong rips.

By the way, Dryst. this has to be THE GREATEST thread idea of ALL TIME. no joke

You have a chick giving you a bj whilst the other watches, but theyre blonde and get confused. BJ chick proceeds to light your balls.

I wish that damn 'server busy' message would fuck off.

I wish it would snow crystal meth every christmas eve.

Tom: The surver busy message goes away but then your computer crashes.
Andruejaysin:It rains crystal meth but you die a long horrible overdose death

I wish the insurance company would cut me my check

They give you the check, but while you're in the bank cashing it, the teller gets a paper cut from the check. Not realizing it at the time, she gives you aids in the following money transaction from a nick on your index finger.
And not just normal aids. Super Aids. One teaspoon of Super Aids in your butt and you'll be dead in two years.

hehe i love this thread

I wish I was all-knowing.

You are all knowing. But being all knowing causes you to realize that being all knowing sucks. and your head explodes.

I wish I had like, a half ounce right now. and some hot apple pie.

while being all-knowing u begin wirting a book on a way to use more effeint fuels and u hit ur head forgetting everything...including ur name...

soul distortion: i get ur weed and get baked, u eat ur apple pie and watch the news, a report comes on and a news banner flashes saying somehow apples have contracted herpes....

i wish i could fly

The moment you realize you can fly, you take off into the great beyond only to get into a head on collision with a fighter jet. the fighter jet wins...

I wish the legal buds on herbalsmokeshop.com got you higher then weed. and that i got a free ounce of every single variety.

the chemical they used to get u high makes u a zombie and u start eating ur family and friends

i wish i could get some oral sex...

You get a free ounce of every variety.
And the first two days of smoking those are GREAT.
But then you get addicted.
By the fourth day your brain is mush.
And by the fifth...
You do not have the ability to hold a bong.
You wither away and die.
Dryst: You get oral sex. From a polar bear. Who eventually realizes HE is a very, very hungry polar bear.

I wish wherever I was, the most physically attractive women found themselves irresistably attracted to me, until I was a mile away.

dryst: you get oral sex. in fact, THIS VERY NIGHT. as she is sucking away, and right as you feel your self about to bust, she bites your dick with all her might, until she actually bites it OFF and swallows it. then she runs away buzzkill i know.

inferious: this causes any woman within a one mile radious, including the ugly ones (which make up 99% of the female population)to ALL be attracted to you, therefore making it impossible for the hot ones to reach you. the hot chicks are trampled by the uglys and you end up being raped in a sweaty disgusting orgy embrace by doezens of some of the most discusting girls you've ever seen.

I wish I could get a grow going, and have an impossibly successful crop and yield.

it sucessful, so sucessful ur voted high time man of the year, untill u get busted by the cops and go to jail forever :D

i wish i had a pet monkey

you get a pet monkey but its pregnant, it pops off hundreds of siblings that have fetishes for human skin.

i wish i could control the weather

ur JL.....but ur priceless car collection garage goes up in smoke.....

I wish divorce was FINAL! finally.....

You get your divorce but only to realize that in fine print it states that you will forever be a sex slave chanied up in your ex-wifes basement.

I wish it wasnt so cold.