Training: Be A Successful Cannabis Connoisseur

cannabis dot com ideals only!
The purpose of this Thread is for you to post the most accurate, the most perfectionist ideals of being A Successful Cannabis Connoisseur.
Rather it just be advice.:thumbsup:
Ninja Guidelines to not get caught. :cool:
Unoffical CAnnabis Pirate Code to teech noobs how to make big bank?
Or even WHAT NOT TO DO! :smokin:
It doesnt have to all be about what your suppose to be doing.
but id perfer if you threw more of what you should do into this thread

cause were not trying to give anyone bad ideas lol :dance:
Im going to post.....
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:pimp:

"Re-Up"- To Re-Supply yourself with Cannabis.

:pimp:

"Fort Knox System"- Always keep a 'fort knox' of Seed + Weed. preferably over several pounds of each just in case. You know how it is.

:pimp:

"Quality system"-
0 DIRT
1 REG
2 MID
3 HIGH MID
4 KRUNK
5 ICE
6 ANYTHING HIGHER = $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

:pimp:

"Type system"- INDICA + SATIVA
INdica = usually fluffy + browner green.
Sativa= usually denser bud + green pigment is more dominate.
ive heard rumors of a third genetic strain
can anyone confirm or deny this?

:pimp:

#1 rule is... BE NINJA!!!!!!!!!!!
and you wont get caught


:pimp:

And i guess im going to add
Carry around papers/pamphlets/brochures/STIXERS!!!!!
Supporting an end to cannabis prohibition!
PLus convince everyone you know to grow cannabis....

:thumbsup: :dance: :pimp:
:rasta:
okay that all i can think up...
now its your job to add on to this training manual....
because if i forgot something important.
undouptedly i did....
its your job to remember it.
because peoples lively hoods are at stake here.

oh and if you dont feel safe bringing smoke with you somewhere, dont bring your pipe, instead... PRE ROLL A COUPLE JOINTS.

if need be you can eat your joints real fast and nobody gets hurt..

AND REMEMBER "Stoner Karma"
you smoke people up it will come around to you in the long run.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jacop

"Type system"- INDICA + SATIVA
INdica = usually fluffy + browner green.
Sativa= usually denser bud + green pigment is more dominate.
ive heard rumors of a third genetic strain
can anyone confirm or deny this?

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This third strain you seek is Cannabis ruderalis.

However, this is almost never cultivated due to its small size, the fact that it doesnâ??t produce much THC, and (most importantly) it flowers by age rather than photoperiod.

Even if your purpose is rope making or some use other than pharmaceutical you are better off with Sativa or Indica.

^^ actually cannabis ruderalis does not have low THC and is not small.

It can be crossed with all strains, giving a high THC % tall auto flowering strain.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LIP

^^ actually cannabis ruderalis does not have low THC and is not small.

It can be crossed with all strains, giving a high THC % tall auto flowering strain.

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My apologies if my information is in any way incorrect.

My source was Greg Green's "The Cannabis Grow Bible"

Listen to the song 'Ten Crack Commandments' by Notorious BIG if you want to know the rules of successful ummm, drug handling.

Yes, the main drug discussed is Crack but BIG does confirm the rules also apply to marijuana. :D

haha i was actually thinking of that.. i dont have that track in my collection... CAn someone post the ten crack commandments just for the hell of it? someone might get something out of it.... actually brb going to lyric search....

Rule nombre uno: never let no one know

Number two: never let em know your next move

Number three: never trust no-bo-dy

Number four: know you heard this before, Never get high, on your own supply


Number five: never sell no crack where you rest at
I dont care if they want a ounce, tell em bounce

Number six: that God damn credit, dead it
You think a crackhead payin you back, shit forget it

Seven: this rule is so underrated
Keep your family and business completely seperated
Money and blood dont mix like two dicks and no bitch
Find yourself in serious shit

Number eight: never keep no weight on you
Them cats that squeeze your guns can hold jobs too

Number nine shoulda been number one to me
If you aint gettin bags stay the fuck from police (uh-huh)
If niggaz think you snitchin aint tryin listen
They be sittin in your kitchen, waitin to start hittin

Number ten: a strong word called consignment
Strictly for live men, not for freshmen
If you aint got the clientele say hell no
Cause they gon want they money rain sleet hail snow

Yeah, damn straight son.

Then the moral of the story:

Follow these rules you'll have mad bread to break up
If not, twenty-four years, on the wake up
Slug hit your temple, watch your frame shake up
Caretaker did your makeup, when you pass
Your girl fucked my man Jake up, heard in three weeks
she sniffed a whole half of cake up
Heard she suck a good dick, and can hook a steak up
Gotta go gotta go, more pasta bake up, word up, uhh

Crack king, Frank Blizzard
Uhh

Why can't we type normal? I'm spending more time trying to decipher your ebonics then actually understanding/learning from the thread.

This is dumb.

Buy the weed, pack the weed, smoke the weed.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jaycub

This is dumb.

Buy the weed, pack the weed, smoke the weed.

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Yeah dude all the knowledge i have about weed is stored in my dome, i dont need to study or train to smoke weed.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by moorephened

My apologies if my information is in any way incorrect.

My source was Greg Green's "The Cannabis Grow Bible"

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Lol yeah, that has to be the only thing in that book that is incorrect.

Buy, or at least save up for the Greman-made "Volcano Vaporizer."

Upon owning it you instantly gain +100 connoisseur points.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by orangeman

Lol yeah, that has to be the only thing in that book that is incorrect.

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Sounds interesting, i should have a read. It's probably not incorrect, they probably didnt know much about, tbh, not many people do on this site because no one see's the pro's to auto flowering strains, apart from LR.

Ruderalis skunk is one i've grown, and no doubt at all you can cross it with ny strain... JH ... WW ... NL... anything, and you'll ended up getting a auto flowering JH/WW/NL as long as you stabalise it.

i asked the question on myspace... and this dude answered
Q:"tell me how to Be A Successful Cannabis Connoisseur"
A:"not over myspace good way to get busted "
lolololololololololololololol
and

Quote:

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Originally Posted by moorephened

Buy, or at least save up for the Greman-made "Volcano Vaporizer."

Upon owning it you instantly gain +100 connoisseur points.

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lmao connoisseur points lol like karma or sumthin lol :pimp:

^^ Amen

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jaycub

This is dumb.

Buy the weed, pack the weed, smoke the weed.

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hop onto the lounge forum thread

http://boards.cannabis.com/showthread.php?t=86242

IF you still think its dumb to have common code then i just prooved you wrong.
this morning i started the code thread.....
wen tto work...
found out i was fired......
read the story.
ITS PROOF THAT WE NEED COMMON CANNABIS CODE

if you disagree with me now then killyourself

okay new code from that topic....
Always do it at home/on private property

Quote:

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Originally Posted by B u M b L ee K y

Why can't we type normal? I'm spending more time trying to decipher your ebonics then actually understanding/learning from the thread.

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That's ok, I wasn't talking to you. Actually, no one in here was.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LIP

Sounds interesting, i should have a read. It's probably not incorrect, they probably didnt know much about, tbh, not many people do on this site because no one see's the pro's to auto flowering strains, apart from LR.

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Well yeah, maybe an original 100% ruderalis strain has a low ammount of THC but since like for instance the LR family has been crossed so many times to get a stable strain I dont think most strains that has ruderalis in them are low in THC anymore :p.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jaycub

I'm sorry but I'm sticking with the outlook that this thread is retarded.

There are already too many damned weed-snobs (on this website) and in the real world. Weed isn't about hoity-toity bourgeoisie connoisseurism.

I appreciate cannabis, and I think that the only thing these rules and guidelines are doing is making you appreciate weed less. Smoke weed because it's fun and spiritual, not to make yourself a "super cool stoner connoisseur".

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yeah so jacop are you the weed police or something trying to run peoples weed smoking. im gonna go smoke a blunt and hit it 3 times!! *gasp*
if someone actually enforced these rules 'like your imaginary ninja friends"

id quit.

Express yourself fool.

jake u wise ass motherfucker.

i love this line

"Eleven: Speak intelligently at all times. Remember the golden rule of intelligent stoners...if you are too wasted to be intelligent, don't say anything at all."

My "Cannibis Connoisseur" Rules (in no particular order of importance, they're all important!):

-Glass pieces are the best. Glass is inert and doesn't contribute any unwanted flavors or potentially dangerous chemicals. However, a dirty glass pipe is worse than a clean metal pipe. Clean your pipes bi-weekly. Every time you smoke out of the pipe, immediately take a paper towel or napkin and wipe out the resin and ash. If it's still warm it will all come out without any alcohol. I've found that by doing this your bud tastes consistently better and it keeps the rest of the pipe cleaner, as much of the resin/ash in the stem is actually sucked through the bowl from previous bowls smoked.

-Never, ever, ever buy shwag. The only exception I make to this rule is if I absolutely can not find any dank nugs for at least a week and the shwag is super-cheap. And don't act like you don't smoke shwag. We all do it in desperate times.

-Always buy from a trusted source.

-Remember the three S's. Only give somebody your hard-earned cash if you have SEEN, SMELLED, and preferably SMOKED that shit. Never give somebody your money without knowing exactly what you are buying and if it's worth the price.

-It's a good idea to have a set price that you will never go over when buying a sack. For me, it's $60 an eighth (approximately 3.5 grams), and that's only if it is very good weed. Your own limit should take into consideration past and current market trends in your area and your own personal experience. For example, $50 an eighth for good nug is standard in my area. Sometimes, however, I come across some particularly good shit that is worth the $55-60 that is being charged. Sometimes I can get good shit for as low as $40. But I've never smoked weed that I think is worth $70. It's all up to you, but just make sure that you have a personal limit.

-Be low-key at all times. If you are smoking in public, don't make it obvious. Dug-outs and bats that look like cigarettes are great. When talking to your dealer, don't make any mention of pot. Don't use code words either. Just ask them if you can come over to their place. They will know what you are talking about and they will appreciate that you are trying to be discrete. Don't talk to non-tokers about toking. They don't need to know. Having clear eyes is never a bad idea either. For redness, the only thing that works for me personally is Visine LR. It's the shit in the yellow bottle. Works wonders and lasts up to six hours.

-If you've got nugs, you've gotta have an airtight nug jar. It keeps your shit nice and fresh and keeps it from being smashed and broken up. Besides that, it also acts as a display case so that you can view those perfect little nuggies any time you want. Baggies are for shwag man. Any airtight glass jar will do.

-Try growing at least once in your life. It will help you learn a lot about weed. Whenever you get a stash, you can always tell what went right about it and what went wrong. For example, you'll learn why some nugs are fluffy and others are dense, why some of your nugs come with the leaves on and others with the leaves off, and what determines the color, flavor, smell, and smoothness of the smoke. These are all things that are learned through growing. Just make sure you do AT LEAST a few months of research beforehand.

-If you are going out of your home, only carry with you what you will be smoking on your trip. You never know when you are going to get hassled by the fuzz. It's much easier to eat a gram or two than it is to eat a quarter ounce!

-Learn how to roll a joint! Seriously, I can't believe that some people call themselves connousseurs who don't know how to roll a spliff. Sure, it takes a lot of practice and trial-and-error, but it pays off.

-Contribute to an organization whose goal it is to legalize marijuana. Learn about pending legislation involving marijuana. Find out what the major politicians think about legalization, medical marijuana, and hemp laws. Educate your dumb ass. If we all work together, we can create change for the better. VOTE. If you aren't old enough to vote, you aren't old enough to toke. If you toke, then you should vote. Just make sure to smoke a fattie first.

Dear suhl, Please come to your senses.

Often when you post you bring unwanted hate and aggression to the cannabis community. We are no longer in middle school, name calling and picking fights ESPECIALLY while online isnâ??t 'cool' anymore. Your posts although filled with hilarious antics degrade the name of the marijuana smoker, please save the flames for the pigs. Or at least stop flaming respected members.

Zoola

i dont think they degrade shit, i think they prove there are still some smokers who who are unwilling to look past ignorance and perverts. i really dont know what could degrade smokers more than talking about nothing but beating it and how they are rising above stereotypes and are so much better e than everyone else. i am through talking about this now, will stop spreadin the hate and aggression, but please stop acting like the things i said were unwarranted, i have trouble putting up with that shit.