I NEED ADVICE

aight, i have a problem here. lately i been takin a look at myself an ive noticed that i am a whole different person now than i was when i was still blazing, i think this could cause serious psychological issues later in life but i got too many those already to care bout that shit. the real problem is that i wanna go back to smokin up but now when i look back i hate who i was, i didnt give a shit bout myself, anyone else, or anything i did. i stole like hell not even caring how stupid it was or about the consequences. i was thinkin bout one time i walked out of k-mart one time wit a stereo not even thinkin twice about it an tha thought i did that shit realy buggs me. i hate my past ways jus not givin a shit cause now i know how dumb i was an i know what happens when u get busted an i dont need to go through this shit ever again.

but heres the kicker, i also hate who i am now, i am manic-depressant(have been since i can remember but wasnt that bad when i was blazin), i also have panic attacks now where i used to blaze up now i jus feel like im dying an i hate it. im also very high strung an im alwayse ready to blow up on people, at the moment i enjoy letting out my anger but afterwards i feel like shit an like i hurt someone who didnt deserve it.

can anyone please help me out here, like a lil advice or somethin??? i have stopped seein my psychiatrist an my counselors, i have also stopped takin all my meds. should i start goin back to couseling an shit, start takin my meds again?? also i would rather smoke weed an have my old problems than tha ones i have now but i jus wanna know if this sounds like a bad idea to others.


thanx fer readin this, sorry if its long,

peace an bagz,
kronik

Kronik mah brotha, the solution is not as hard as it seems. You see the thing is that now you are aware of what you have done, and you do not wish to do these things again. The problem is that when you were originally smoking, you didn't realize what you were doing. Now you realize what you did, and there is no reason for you to act like a retard when you smoke weed.

shit man, blaze it up if it helps you interact with society... just chill on the stealing. wait, it sounds like you were smoking crack to me. you where seriously stealing shit to buy herb, or what Kronik?

counsellors can be good but theyre rare and hard to find i reckon. but a good-un is gold.
smoke a little if it makes things easier.
but the big thing is wanting to change, and uve done that.
how to do it is tricky sometimes but if you beleive in it it'll work out.

Yeah, man..chill-out on yourself. Like everyone said so far, you've done the hardest bit - you've IDENTIFIED a problem about yourself which you do not like. You should be proud, dude! :)
Not many people have that luxury or wisdom.

All that a counsellor will do, is what you've managed to do by yourself, and that's indentify the problem. But, if you think that it will help you to address your new found knowledge, then go ahead and see them - the choice is yours dude, and yours alone :)

I am a manic depressive too, and it's as confusing as fuck. Like, you're blissfully happy one minute, then, for no reason at all, you suddenly plunge into a pit of utter dispair and even anger - usually this anger comes from the confusion of why you've gone from happy to sad for no real reason.

I've read a few of your posts throughout this board, some have been a bit 'aggressive' ( :) ), but most have shown you to be someone with a decent point of view and intelligence. That's normal, when you suffer from this affliction the battle that rages within you becomes almost too much to bear, and it is hard to express yourself in the manner that you mean - I know, I get it too :)

Quit the thieving, it'll get you into more trouble than you deserve - you're worth more than that, dude - so give it a try.
For me, I find that smokin the herb helps me to look at my life with a certain amount of detatchment, which in turn allows me to focus my energies in a constructive way - like, rather than blow-up in the faces of those that seek to make my life shit, I can sit back, toke a little, and remain calm....if that's what it takes for you to do the same, then that's cool.

Sometimes, though, the herb can work the other way (with some people), and just adds to the confusion thats going on in your head.

You'll have to find out what it does for you, and adjust your habit accordingly.

Don't worry about blabbing on about your problems on here, dude, that's what all of us are here for - to help each other, right? - we all know how tough life is, and it helps to let it all out and get it off your chest.
So, anytime you feel that it's getting too much to bear - just blab blab blab, init! :)

I hope you sort it out dude, I think I speak for all of us who care when I say that we are here for you when it all goes dark

Keep it real, dude,
Res...

I'm also suffering from panic attacks and bouts of depression. I started MJ a few weeks ago and it has made a big difference. My anxiety level went down big time, my panic attack are less frequent and aren't as strong. I'm actually laughing and having fun on a regular basis, weird. I'm hoping that MJ will continue to help me but I'm afraid it won't.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kronik Bagz

aight, i have a problem here. lately i been takin a look at myself an ive noticed that i am a whole different person now than i was when i was still blazing, i think this could cause serious psychological issues later in life but i got too many those already to care bout that shit. the real problem is that i wanna go back to smokin up but now when i look back i hate who i was, i didnt give a shit bout myself, anyone else, or anything i did. i stole like hell not even caring how stupid it was or about the consequences. i was thinkin bout one time i walked out of k-mart one time wit a stereo not even thinkin twice about it an tha thought i did that shit realy buggs me. i hate my past ways jus not givin a shit cause now i know how dumb i was an i know what happens when u get busted an i dont need to go through this shit ever again.

but heres the kicker, i also hate who i am now, i am manic-depressant(have been since i can remember but wasnt that bad when i was blazin), i also have panic attacks now where i used to blaze up now i jus feel like im dying an i hate it. im also very high strung an im alwayse ready to blow up on people, at the moment i enjoy letting out my anger but afterwards i feel like shit an like i hurt someone who didnt deserve it.

can anyone please help me out here, like a lil advice or somethin??? i have stopped seein my psychiatrist an my counselors, i have also stopped takin all my meds. should i start goin back to couseling an shit, start takin my meds again?? also i would rather smoke weed an have my old problems than tha ones i have now but i jus wanna know if this sounds like a bad idea to others.


thanx fer readin this, sorry if its long,

peace an bagz,
kronik

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man, get control of yourself, cool down, aight, you took your break from smoking right?
ok, but you dont want yto go back to it b/c you dont like who you were?
were!!!! grow up a little babe.
take some responsibility, and do dhit right. there sre no exuses why you shouldnt.
smoke your weed,
just smoke it responsibly!
chill out you'll be alright.
k?

sorry if that is too harsh!
i like to be straight forward! :)

bagz babe maybe u need to find a happy medium. It sounds like u have changed and want to stay that way. U know i have faith in u, and i can go on and tell u it all over again, but u really need to have more faith in urself. U are a good person with alot to offer even if its thru ur rhymes u can do what ever u set ur mind too. Just reach inside urself and pull out the bagz that most of us know is in there.

well id jus like to clear a few things up, an first i never stole fer money, i never sold what i stole. the only reason i stole shit was cause i had nothing an i was tired of it. an its not that i dont like myself more now than who i used to be, actualy i like who i was but im worried that ill do something stupid again. jus right now is a realy confusing time for me, im tryin to quit coke while i only have a few friends who know about my habit an they are supportive of my quitting, im sure they fell like ill look down on them if i quit.

and never 2 much, i took responsibility fer tha shit i did, i quit smoking pot which was one the hardest things of done so far, i got a job to pay of a few grand in restitution, and i dont ever blame my problems on others, if i have a problem i know its my fault an i get it taken care of. sometimes its a hard thing to do though

hopefully you will figure yourself out and find a way to do the things you like while maintaining some sort of income... Coke can be some bad shit if you have trouble controlling your urge to use it, cause its some expensive crap. Kronik, perhaps you could take up gardening, cultivate yourself some gorgeous Mary Janes and marvel at the simplicity of a plants existence. I have been involved with the outdoors all my life but some of my friends that where more sheltered while growing up found getting into nature to be quite soothing... even though they can't grow shit on their own LoL

and dude, dont worry about your friends drug use, you know that they can do as they please... and if they don't realize that they probably shouldent be your friends (more like your lackeys LoL)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kronik Bagz

well id jus like to clear a few things up, an first i never stole fer money, i never sold what i stole. the only reason i stole shit was cause i had nothing an i was tired of it. an its not that i dont like myself more now than who i used to be, actualy i like who i was but im worried that ill do something stupid again. jus right now is a realy confusing time for me, im tryin to quit coke while i only have a few friends who know about my habit an they are supportive of my quitting, im sure they fell like ill look down on them if i quit.

and never 2 much, i took responsibility fer tha shit i did, i quit smoking pot which was one the hardest things of done so far, i got a job to pay of a few grand in restitution, and i dont ever blame my problems on others, if i have a problem i know its my fault an i get it taken care of. sometimes its a hard thing to do though

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good bagz, see your doing better.
ok, im sure that your gonna think im stupid and shit, but i do care.
my honest oppinion is.........get off the coke, you need to.
man stick to smokin, leave all that hard shit alone.
get you a job, make you some money and do the right thing with it.
dint go blow it on stupid shit, dont let it burn holes in your pockets.
i dont know how old you are or nething about you for that matter, but i know that you can do it, just get up, set your mind to things and do them, get your life straight, you can do it, We all have faith in you, now, you find the faith inside yourself, it is there! :)

im workin my ass off at 2 jobs to keep up on rent an shit, i cant smoke weed cause im still piss testin, an im pretty sure my PO wouldnt like it if she found some green friends growin in my bathroom. lol.

but coke iz prolly tha main reason i have no money right now, that fuckin cadillac can be expensive shit

thanx again fer ur support, im gonna try an start quittin this weekend.

peace n bagz
kronik

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kronik Bagz

im workin my ass off at 2 jobs to keep up on rent an shit, i cant smoke weed cause im still piss testin, an im pretty sure my PO wouldnt like it if she found some green friends growin in my bathroom. lol.

but coke iz prolly tha main reason i have no money right now, that fuckin cadillac can be expensive shit

thanx again fer ur support, im gonna try an start quittin this weekend.

peace n bagz
kronik

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good
not only is it exspensive,
but OMFG, its so bad,
its soooooooo bad.
yes plz do try to quit.
plz, i hate that you do coke.
coke is bad, quit and leave it alone, ok
finish ur piss testin and stick to herb. :D
you'll be smilin all the time! :D

well bagz how u doin today??? keep me posted sweety;)

yea me too!
exactly what ammie said!!?