I have a nasty case of the monday's...

So my monday is already in the shitter.
To make a long story short, my dad tried to commit suicide in early April and I haven't seen him or talked to him ever since. I learned that he had been quite depressed for some time, and that he needed to be away from his kids while he sorts things out. My stepmom, who is the only one who's seen him since, said that he still feels extremely guilty about what he did and so on, so there's no telling how long until I get to even see him. Today I sent him an e-mail, like I usually do once a week, and I guess I upset him and made him feel guilty about what he did and how he can't provide for us anymore. Then my stepmom left me an angry message about how that e-mail made him take a huge step back in progress.. It just made me feel so bad that I did that to him, and this is on top of already not being able to see him. I'm just looking for answers, anything I suppose, b/c emotionally I'm a wreck. Has anyone else had to deal with suicide, and if so, how did you deal with it all?

And this is only monday !
how is everyone else's monday going?

my dad killed himself because he thought he wasn't providing for us and stuff, I have no clue how to help you really but I guess just visit him and talk to him as much as you can, try and find out if he's drinking alot or anything.... if he's single it would probably help out a great deal to try and find him a girlfriend er something.... hope everything works out man.

My mondays been goin ok. Got an a-level exam on wensday, hav'nt revised atall yet and these exams are important. I woke up today at about 6pm. Got a text from my mum saying "i know you hate me but you could at least wish me a happy birthday"

So yeah, same old same ol'e. Or however that saying goes lol

I'm sorry. :(

It's a plant,

Sorry too. Your dad seems really messed up right now. Don't blame yourself. He's responsible for what he does, not you.

I don't know shit.

-MM

Has he tried getting some professional help? When I was suicidal I tried getting some help and it kind of worked. But mostly, I worked it out myself. Maybe he needs some profesisonal help, it might work, its worth a shot?

My mom was always depressed and she didn't do anything to hide it from me. I will never cry in front of my child because I learned from her mistake.
life is hard but once I had a child suicide became an undeniable impossibility. I consider it selfish.

yeah he's going to therapy twice a week and is on tons of anti-depressants, but I guess that he was "2 steps forward, and my e-mail knocked him 15 steps back." Hearing that doesn't exactly make me feel too hot.

Im confused... But if he is like this because he can't support his faimly. I guess you've just gotta let him know that dos'nt matter and that he tried his best? I dunno. Im not gonna pry but i have no clue why he's in this state so i don't know what to say. But yeah, both my parents have been and mybe my mum still is, sucidle. But it dos'nt really affect me that bad cuz im not really worried about that and i think things will get better with time. Hopfully that will be the case for your dad, just give him time. If he's seeing profesional help he might get better soon. Because he proberly finds it easier to talk to a complete stranger and this progesional will have good advice. In anycase, i hope your dad gets better. Im sorry you have to go threw this. But yeah, just look at the future and hope for the best :thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by 3rdEyeVision

my dad killed himself because he thought he wasn't providing for us and stuff, I have no clue how to help you really but I guess just visit him and talk to him as much as you can, try and find out if he's drinking alot or anything.... if he's single it would probably help out a great deal to try and find him a girlfriend er something.... hope everything works out man.

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3rd im sorry to hear of your loss.....


its a plant..... do you want to save his life?

no email no phone calls..... you drive over and see him, and tell him you love him. Look him in the eye and tell him....(never do that Dad, it will hurt me to much, cause i love you, and then hug him) tell him you would rather live in a cardboard box in the street with him, the in a mansion with out him.

It is hard to explain guys... I am 35 with a couple kids and my whole life has changed.

like 3rd i was the kid who skated all day and night and was just a hell raiser.

Now if you, even come close to hurting my kids i freak out. The instinct to protect my kids is unbelievable

So the ability to provide for your family is important to Fathers and if you fell that you cant provide, you have failed everybody, and the worst is you failed your kids.

you need to go over and look him in the eye and forgive him.


:twocents:

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Originally Posted by Bong30

3rd im sorry to hear of your loss.....


its a plant..... do you want to save his life?

no email no phone calls..... you drive over and see him, and tell him you love him. Look him in the eye and tell him....(never do that Dad, it will hurt me to much, cause i love you, and then hug him) tell him you would rather live in a cardboard box in the street with him, the in a mansion with out him.

It is hard to explain guys... I am 35 with a couple kids and my whole life has changed.

like 3rd i was the kid who skated all day and night and was just a hell raiser.

Now if you, even come close to hurting my kids i freak out. The instinct to protect my kids is unbelievable

So the ability to provide for your family is important to Fathers and if you fell that you cant provide, you have failed everybody, and the worst is you failed your kids.

you need to go over and look him in the eye and forgive him.


:twocents:

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Yeah, i think you should listen to this guy. But then again, going over there might make it worse. But still, what bong30 is saying seems to make alot of sense. Take care of yaself its a plant :) Your dad raised and took care of you, now its time for you to take care of him.

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Originally Posted by CrAzYpOtHeAd

Yeah, i think you should listen to this guy. But then again, going over there might make it worse. But still, what bong30 is saying seems to make alot of sense. Take care of yaself its a plant :) Your dad raised and took care of you, now its time for you to take care of him.

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Im not going to get into it, but if i (a father) just tried to kill my self the guilt would be over whelming.

you need to tell him that what he did was NOT ok, but you forgive him, and now I LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALY FOREVER, Then look him in the eye like a man and say "dont ever pull that shit again you scared me" hug again.

DO NOT EMAIL HIM..........you need to be a MAN and treat him like one too.

maby he should try taking a break from his job, therapy,and drugs. It was like 5 days away from my 2nd birthday when my dad decided to take the whole bottle of pills at once. I think you should take this situation really seriously and tell your job about your situation and take a vacation with your pops, just get away from all the crap hes going through and have a good time. Im just a kid but I wouldnt really trust the anti-depressants too much....maby let your dad take a break from them for awhile or something I dunno it just kinda seems its heddin' down the same road my pops went :( :(

Good luck man whatever happens was meant to be.

well that's the thing. He lost his job some time ago, and was out of work, then he inherited a bunch of money from an aunt of his, so when that ran out, he started to look for solutions. He had planned on killing himself some 6 months before, and took out a big insurance policy for us. The anti-depressents are prescribed, and seem to be working, and he was a severe undiagnosed alcoholic who hasnt had a drink since it happened. And as far as me e-mailing him : I would be more than happy to go over to his house to see him, but my stepmom and his dr. advised to give him time and we do it when he is ready. So for now I'm playing the waiting game.

Its A Plant, im very sorry to hear that you and you're dad are going through this. I really am, I wish I could take it all away. I am sad for you :(. Don't blame yourself too badly, you DIDN'T know he was going to react that way!
I hope he gets better for your sake and HIS. Soon.. I hope for the best.

You shoul talk to your dad. but it confuses me that your dad got worse after you sent him an email. But I don't know what you wrote in it. Mabye its just your stepmom being a liar? She is after all a stepmom. Mabye shes bad? I dunno.And I do not mean to uppsett you. Just thinking in writing.

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Originally Posted by Esmada

You shoul talk to your dad. but it confuses me that your dad got worse after you sent him an email. But I don't know what you wrote in it. Mabye its just your stepmom being a liar? She is after all a stepmom. Mabye shes bad? I dunno.And I do not mean to uppsett you. Just thinking in writing.

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it was wrong of her to make YOU feel bad.

I guess something I said upset him b/c it reminded him how he has no money and can't support us, so I guess that set his progress back some as he was doing well coping with everything.

I did get mail from him, and he thanked me for caring so much and that hopefully I can see him soon. So things are looking up on this muggy Tuesday.

Good luck, my pryers are with you, and your pops