What's the funniest joke you know? :D
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What's the funniest joke you know? :D
Him
v
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side;
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Coz he was on the Chickens foot! :dance:
OMg WTF ROFL lolz what they iz funny!!!
What did the lepper say to the prositute?
You can keep the tip.
What do u call 2 left sandles?
Flip flips!
This isn't the best joke, but it's the first one I came across. It put a smile on my face. :stoned:
Discovery
German scientists dug 50 meters underground and
discovered small pieces of copper. After studying
these pieces for a long time, Germany announced
that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a
nation-wide telephone network.
Naturally, the British government was not that
easily impressed. They ordered their own
scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters down,
they found small pieces of glass, and they soon
announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago
already had a nation-wide fibre net.
Israeli scientists were outraged. They dug 50, 100
and 200 meters underground, but found absolutely
nothing...
They concluded that the ancient Hebrews 55,000
years ago had cellular telephones.
lmfao wow bg WOWQuote:
Originally Posted by beachguy in thongs
three guys walk into a room
a priest,a homosexual,and a pedophile
that was just the first guy
Bush.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lateralus
good one :thumbsup:
Thereâ??s this guy...well letâ??s just say heâ??s not the brightest crayon in the box. Anyway, one day he meets this chick and they decide to go out on a date. So after dinner and a movie, they head back to her place. He has this chick and hasnâ??t a clue what to do with her, so he calls his father and say, â?hey pop, I got this girl here and I donâ??t know what to do with herâ?. The father tells him to kiss her and remove all her clothes. So anyway he kisses her and removes all her clothes. His father gets another call, itâ??s the son. He says, â?Okay pop, I got all her clothes off,now what do I do?â?. Father says, â?Okay son, take your hand and stick it where she goes to the bathroomâ?. Five minutes later, the phone rings, this time itâ??s the chick. She says to his pop, â?what the hell is wrong with your son?, he has his hand stuck in the toiletâ?
hahaa!!! ^^^^
This is a joke that a friend told us the night before he dropped dead. Yes, he dropped dead. I think it was the joke. You know? Karma came around and bit him hard in the ass? Anyhow...here's the joke.
What do you do if an epileptic falls into your swimming pool?
Throw in your laundry!!!
beachguy, im lovin your sig, mitch hedberg was a funny man.
Whats the difference between a lesbian and a walrus?
ones got a mustache and smells like fish, the other ones a walrus
-from a guy at work
male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult, four hour, surgical procedure. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black ?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"
Concerned ! that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around.. Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir !!"
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely.....
A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?" !
Well I can't tell jokes that good but I'll give it a try
This dude walks into a bar and sees a barrel in the corner so he goes to the bartender and asks â?? Why is that barrel sitting over thereâ? the bartender says â??Go stick your dick in it and youâ??ll see whyâ? so the dude sticks it in and then he goes back to the bartender and says â??That was greatâ? and the bartender says â??You can do that every day of the week except tuesdays â?? the dude then asks â??Whyâ? the bartender says â??Because itâ??s your turn in the barrel on tuesdaysâ?
:thumbsup: That's pretty fucking funny! :thumbsup:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Psycho4Bud