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whats the funniest thing you've said or heard while on the influence of something?
last night, i was in the backseat while trying to sober up from a bad end to my PCP experience, and i was sitting next to 2 girls that were rolling hard. then this girl said, "i wanna put like, cold spoons over my eyes". i dunno where that came from, but it made me laugh so hard.
not to mention earlier that night, i said i felt like the green giant.
well i wasnt saying anything, but i got extremely baked, and me and my friend went to his kitchen. then while i just got into the kitchen, he tossed a cucumber at me. so i tossed it back, and we just kept tossing it back and forth, laughing our asses off. man...good times
one time this girl was like look at nick HES SO HIGH! so i said "im not as think as you stoned i am", then like a week later i saw a shirt that said that on it and i had to buy it
one time me and a friend of mine just got done smoking 3 bowls of some bomb. When we decided we were gonna order some pizza. We called the place up from a cell phone and from the time we started talkin to the guy till we got our pizza we were laughing our asses off. The pizza man knew exactly what we were on and he just laughed at us......good times
lol me and bro were settin in the bar waiting for food and we started beaten on each with straws all the old people luaghed at us
i always say the dumbest shit when im high. all my friends laugh at me, we will be somewhere like outside and i will just think of the weirdest thing and say it. like this one time we were really stoned walking through the neighborhood,and we walked by this old guy watering his flowers. my friend was like want some WEED? but we kept walking. i was like "what if he was like, "yeah" then brought us into his basement and made a gun shape with his hand and said "youre under arrest" my friends called me an idiot
this one time me and my friends were baked and my friend called to me from the kitchen askin if i wanted ramen noodles, and i was petting my cat at the time, and i was like "im playing with my hot furry black pussy"
one time me and my friends were just sittin around blazed to shit when one of them goes " you guys ever see napolen dynmite" then out of no where he goes "your mom goes to college" in the ABSOULTE perfect kip voice i almost soffocated from laughin it was amazing
ive said alot of really fucked up thing while i was high ... one of them i can think of off of the top of my head is this .... Shutup or ill lock you in a closet and bang on the door untill you cry.... many other things too i cant think of them right now though
the funniest thing a mate sed to me while high was "shit, my lips are sticking to me"
Omg, I pissed myself soo hard at that, im sure he was refering to dry mouth, we were all playing mario cart at the time. Omg so funny.
I've been known to strike an odd pose for no reason. I find it hilarious, because there's always only one or two people that actually notice, and I just act like they're talkin' crazy like.
As for a stoned quote, my favorite is "if you think about it, child molestation is kinda funny. Not the sex part, but the forty year old man who looks at a seven year old girl and thinks 'she's got it goin' on!'"
Haha, I always say shit like "my lips are sticking to me" and all that. :)
One of the good ones though was when me and two friends were wandering around the neighborhood real baked. There's this really religious girl we know, and one friend goes "Hey! I have a sweet idea! Let's go rape the jesus out of (the girl)"
It was soooo hilarious, if mean. :D
after we blazed, my friend was washing hands and about 5 seconds after he finished, i told him ot turn the water off, thinkg that he was still washing his hands. that was funny ass shit.
I think the funniest thing I've heard anyone say while blazed was from a friend of mine, we were sitting at the park and aparently she thought that the squirrel on the wall was trying to steal her food. she said "little fucking prick, get out of here gat or ill go get my squirrel and fuckin blast you!"
everything is funny
Killa.Kali where did you get your avatar????
lol one time when i was really stoned
for my sweet 16 10 of us took shrooms and took a limo to a hand on museum...it was all little kids i gotta admit there was othing not funny that h\whole day....i dont thnk i stopped laughing for a second but we were all pushing all the little kids out of the way like hey thats not how u do it let me show you...we were running arounmd this museum and when we came in it was being renovated so it was free we all starte clapping when we found out like yea omg i cant belive this were sooooo lucky..
Iunno :confused: I got it on MSN but I dunno from who =\Quote:
Originally Posted by henrypj
The other night me & a mate had a cork from our ale bottles & we kept punching it at each other, & everytime it kept knocking off the empty beer bottles off the table inbetween us, we were causing carnage & we couldnt stop laughing & doing it.
His girlfriend finally got pissed off with the mess we had caused & took it off us.
Same friend was once walking through town & he was so wasted he threw up into the wind & it went all over him, he was staggering everywhere, a cop pulled him up, they got out of the car & walked towards him, they looked at him & saw a 6'4'' tall biker guy covered in puke with bright red eyes, & then they laughed at him, & kept laughing until they got back into their car & drove off.
one time i was so high and i was with my brother and the funniest guy in the world and we had just gotten back from the movie theatre and i was eating some milk and cookies and this goofy guy comes in and was like oh my god those look so good and i was like u can have some and he was looking for a glass to put milk in and he was like wide mouth- great for dipping. it took me like 2 minutes to realize what he said and i started cracking up for some reason it was so funny
its not that funny but one time i went to schools high and some anoying girl heard rumors or somthin that i was a stoner so she came up and asked if i was a stoner and i asked her if she was the sober chick.... not that funny
omg my mate sed the funniest thing a while ago on the subject of marmite:
"Marmite is a very British thing imo, its a bit like vindaloo"
God i laughed so hard, i couldn't be arsed to correct him, lol
hahahah dude i know exactly what you mean. you think of shit in your head and you think it sounds bad ass but when it comes out everyone has the wtf? expression on their faces.Quote:
Originally Posted by soldier1944
but one of the funniest things i've said when i was ripped was when my buddy and this chick and i went to dairy queen to order blizzards. i was in the drive-thru and the person was like "can i take your order?"
me: "yea just a second"
*people in car tell me what they want"
me: "ok, i'll have a medium large"
*ROFL*
we couldnt stop laughing and the person taking my order was dead silent when we got to the window she just smiled and gave us our blizzards, i almost shat my pants it was swell.
Not really the funniest thing.. but just sort of deep, I guess..
When a buddy of mine were tripping on shrooms at his house, we walked around his back yard and were looking at these trees.. the sunlight was filtering through them and was making this sort of pattern. We both likened it to a magic eye puzzle (you know, those things where if you look at them long enough, they turn into a picture). So we went inside and smoked some bud, and we put on this crazy Tool CD. I said that it sounded like a "magic ear puzzle" because you could listen to it for a while, and new parts of the song would show themselves. I dunno, just seemed cool.
haha one time me and my friend put brownie mix in a muffin tray with the wrappers and called them bruffins.... they fukin' ruled.
i spent 10 minutes telling my friend about how i had prepared my toasted sandwhich with different amounts of ham and cheese in different sections
one of the first couple times my friend smoked, he was laughing hysterically about every half a minute, about nothing at all. he explained this as the "30 second cycle" in which, he would be laughing about something for 30 seconds, and then he would forget what he was laughing about, and so he would laugh again because he didnt know what he was laughing about. this would continue cyclically every 30 seconds, and it lasted for several minutes. good stuff, i thought that was hilarious, at the time.
oh shit... so many burnouts...its funny just because of the fact that I can read any one of these stories and relate...
I remember one time pulling up to some fast food drive thru with an ass load of people in my car, I pull up and they ya know ask for my order I tell em gimme a sec. I find out what every person in tha car wants... and tell tha guy Im ready.. The convo went as follows..
Guy in little box: go ahead...
Me:....uh...uh...fuck it we're goin inside ain't no fucking way I can remember what everyone wants, Im lucky if I know wtf I want!!
Alright so, it was the first time my parents weren't home while I was high. I could be as loud as I wanted. I was with my smoking Partner/Cousin. I went to go into the Garage of my house and I just started screaming that were asians in my garage, we started freakin out but the thing that was so hilarious about it, in all the confusion, I managed to bust out... "I wonder if theyre making me some sesame chicken" One of the best high's I've had.
Another time I was on the beach with my friends: Bermuda, Pops and Jam. We were so hungry and we didn't want to leave the beach so I started talking about food and I shouted "Let's go eat the portals!" and everybody was like "holy shit, that sounds so good" and we all started cracking up. Good times.
Me and two friends went to taco bell at about 2 am one night stoned off our asses. We each ordered like $15-$20 worth of food. But what was so hilarious was when I gave my friend in the backseat his and he pulled it out and was like "BURRITO! Dude! It's like Christmas because I forgot what I ordered!"
Friend: Kyle looks high already
Me: I problably am.
I'm Kyle by the way. I have no idea why that was so funny. But I love nugget.
I never remember things i say, its all funny in general i guess. One of my friends once said 'viagra tastes like cherries,' but he may have been asleep. I'm not sure.
One of my friends when he was baked we came into my house and walked down my hallway and into my room and he goes WOW that was fast ..... and i said what was fast and he goes ..... the room came up quick this time its usually farther down the hall. lol i was laughing forever
One time I was at a bowling alley with like three girls and this one dude. We were all sitting in our lane, at the table thing, when some old-bald guy with glasses came up to me and said, "You like roasted beef? Cus we have some in the backroom". I busted out laughing so hard, we were all blitzed, and I almost fell to his feet laughing. Then he just looked at my friends and walked away.
Talking about how it would be cool to put an inflatable matress on the roof of my car. We paused for a second while talking..
"I wanna get down.."
"Why?"
"Because it's raining."
well one time, we were pretty baked. my friends dog would try to eat my bag of weed whenever i shook it at him. then he ran outside(bad) and we had to get him back inside. now keep in mind that this seemed like a good idea at the time. i ran outside with my bag yelling "dooby(dog's name) get the weed!!!!!!!!!!!" and shking the bag all atound. my friends had to come outside,put their hands over my mouth, and drag me inside.
One time i was really high driving to a party with two other friends in my car. One of my friends told us that it was the first time he saw such a rain yesterday. And I was like, what was special about it did it rain from the ground to the sky? And we were then cracking up the whole night in the party quoting it :D
Back in the day, me and my friends got real baked together and I had this huge adventure in my head, like Zelda or something. So I'm fighting bosses and solving complex dungeon puzzles while we all just sat around.
So throughout the night, I was talking to them all, updating them on all the things I was "doing". Apparently it was fucking hilarious because they were laughing their asses off. Looking back, I can see why.
(Friend looking at me as I stare off into space, with face twitching)
Friend: Uh, what's on your mind?
Me: Uh, aww, uh, mmmmm....
Friend: What?
Me: Now what the fuck? This one doesn't even make sense! It's like a door, but there's this huge red spiral keeping me from opening it! I DON'T FUCKING GET IT!!!
one time my buddy and i were ripped and walking aroud my neighboor hood. now we have a horse ranch about a .5 mile away from our houses so you can hear the horses. well one hourse went and my buddy freaked saying that that was the way the cops put on their sirens when their going after people smoking pot. so i knew he was freaking out so i jumped behind a house like i saw a cop. well he was in the middle of the street screamming that he was inoccent and not to shoot and that he didnt have the dope. it was so funny i couldnt get up i was laughing so hard