God Says: Wash Up After Wet Dreams!

Some of this Bible stuff can be pretty funny. Check it out! Here are God's rules for wet dreams:

Leviticus 15:16-18:

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And if any man's seed of copulation go out from him, then he shall wash all his flesh in water, and be unclean until the even.

And every garment, and every skin, whereon is the seed of copulation, shall be washed with water, and be unclean until the even.

The woman also with whom man shall lie with seed of copulation, they shall both bathe themselves in water, and be unclean until the even.

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A little later, in Leviticus 15:32:

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This is the law of him that hath an issue, and of him whose seed goeth from him, and is defiled therewith.

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Dirty, dirty sperm! It will poison you... until the even, at least.

I wouldnt mind spurting my seed of copulation right now

leviticus has all sorts of other funny laws that were written for the jews back in the dizzay
Leviticus 19:20 " 'If a man sleeps with a woman who is a slave girl promised to another man but who has not been ransomed or given her freedom, there must be due punishment. Yet they are not to be put to death, because she had not been freed.

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Originally Posted by MyAntiDrugIsAmy

leviticus has all sorts of other funny laws that were written for the jews back in the dizzay
Leviticus 19:20 " 'If a man sleeps with a woman who is a slave girl promised to another man but who has not been ransomed or given her freedom, there must be due punishment. Yet they are not to be put to death, because she had not been freed.

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Yeah, so why exactly is that one funny, yet gays are still viewed as being some sort of spawn of Satan?

The bible evolved only once, from the Old Test to the New Test. Since then no one has updated it to apply to the new way of living, this wasnt done because people know it's a fake & is a dead end.

Yeah, that's true. Most of these rules are waaaaay out of place in any modern society. They like to use Leviticus to condemn gays, but don't realize that according to Leviticus not only is slavery okay but God says it's okay to even take your brother into slavery, as in Leviticus 25:39-40:

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And if thy brother that dwelleth by thee be waxen poor, and be sold unto thee; thou shalt not compel him to serve as a bondservant.

But as an hired servant, and as a sojourner, he shall be with thee, and shall serve thee unto the year of jubilee.

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Leviticus 5:7-9 clearly states that animal sacrifices are a good idea too:

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And if he be not able to bring a lamb, then he shall bring for his trespass, which he hath committed, two turtledoves, or two young pigeons, unto the LORD; one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering.

And he shall bring them unto the priest, who shall offer that which is for the sin offering first, and wring off his head from his neck, but shall not divide it asunder:

And he shall sprinkle of the blood of the sin offering upon the side of the altar; and the rest of the blood shall be wrung out at the bottom of the altar: it is a sin offering.

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that makes me wonder how many animal activists/lovers are christians...if so, i bet you they seal their mind off from this.

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Originally Posted by F L E S H

Yeah, so why exactly is that one funny, yet gays are still viewed as being some sort of spawn of Satan?

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you're right, it isn't that funny, but it was when i was really high.

the point about gay ppl is the point i make all the fucking time. if the christian church dropped all those other laws in the bible, why do they justify keeping the gay bashing?

In the old Testament animal sacrifice was used as offerings to God as well as appeasement for sin. With the coming of Christ (the New Testament), Christ is the symolic "Lamb of God". His blood washed away humanities sins, giving us the chance to be "Born Again In Christ". Hence blood sacrifice was abolished.
The referances to washing after sex or after nocturnal emmision, was a law encorporated to keep people clean and free from disease, much as Jews did not eat pork. Pigs at the time carried cholera that could be transmitted to people, causing disease and death, therefore they were considered "unclean". Unclean, simply means in their terms unhealthy.
This is just an explanation as it was taught to me. Not preaching, just thought it might add to the conversation.

Sacrificing animals hmmm? Some witches do that (not most of them), did "god" not say he forbids witchcraft or anything to do with it?

not the way you're trying to make it seem. everything has to be closely related, especially with religion because religion is a different culture or groups way of making sense of things in the world, including paranormal, and guidelines/values for however they see a fulfilled life.

a majority of judeo-christian traditions are derived from pagan traditions because of the culture of society at the time.

Ah right, so it's wrong for other religions & right for it's own?
That's all it boils down to really.

i didn't say anything about any religion's traditions and rituals being wrong. what i was saying was that it doesn't really matter arguing about that because of different elements being repeated in different religions... calm down and don't act so belligerent

Well I think it is something worth arguing about, since a lot of Christians don't even know the Bible wants them to sacrifice animals, and actually think that sacrificing animals is Satanic or whatever. These people ought to at least know that their holy book promotes something they view as very unholy. And besides, it would be a really easy argument to win. :)

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Originally Posted by ermitonto

Well I think it is something worth arguing about, since a lot of Christians don't even know the Bible wants them to sacrifice animals, and actually think that sacrificing animals is Satanic or whatever. These people ought to at least know that their holy book promotes something they view as very unholy. And besides, it would be a really easy argument to win. :)

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Yeah, a lot of them think it's satanic, but one of the rules in The Satanic bible cleary states "Do not kill an animal unless attacked or for food".

me and my wife have a paperback copy of the satanic bible (we were intrested to see what kind of stuff it said, we dont' actually worship satan.) and actually it makes alot more sense than the bible. one of the main things i liked, was about sex and went something like this:
1. must be consentual
2. can't violate vows of a marraige
3. both are of a reasonable age
(these aren't the exact words, been along time since i read it and i don't have it handy or i'd type it word for word, but it gives you the basic idea)

so basicly
any sexual contact is fine, as long as it doesn't break the vows of marriage (so no sex outside of the marriage) as long as it's consentual, meaning not raping ect ect...(which would also mean if all three parties of a 3-some are consenting it's ok, or you may have sex with the same sex as long as both are consenting and so on) all people involved are of reasonable age (take this part how you want but in my eyes it basicly says, you can't do anything with kids)

now don't go jumpin on my ass saying "the devil played off your sinning nature to trick you into being with him" or "that book was written by an insane man" or anything of the like. i don't believe in either, and quite honestly both books were written by men, just at diffrent times.

Ignore this post

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Originally Posted by ermitonto

Well I think it is something worth arguing about, since a lot of Christians don't even know the Bible wants them to sacrifice animals, and actually think that sacrificing animals is Satanic or whatever. These people ought to at least know that their holy book promotes something they view as very unholy. And besides, it would be a really easy argument to win. :)

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they know that the bible says stuff about sacrificing animals. that stuff was in the old testament which documented the rituals and practices of the jews. christians don't practice animal sacrifice because they believe that jesus was the "ultimate sacrifice" and he said "through me you can go to heaven" so they believe that since jesus came, they don't have to go through all the same rituals and many of the laws of the old testament. although a lot of the churches don't see that they still focus on certain laws in the old testament that really don't pertain to our society and it's merely out of date. society obviously won't follow the same pattern it once did 2000 + years ago when the jews practiced these rituals.

Hmm, interesting rationalization. I wonder how they rationalize the whole bit about God encouraging slavery.

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Originally Posted by ermitonto

Hmm, interesting rationalization. I wonder how they rationalize the whole bit about God encouraging slavery.

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i dunno, but i do know not all churches believe that the bible is verbatum and completly applies to people today. there are a lot that believe that a lot of what is said in the bible is from God, but that since man wrote it there is still room for falibility. when writing leviticus it was made to be the laws of the people of israel, so considering that, not much of it applies directly towards someone's spiritual relationship with God.

and what they believe isn't the same as what i believe. i feel a spiritual connection/relationship with God but i don't practice organized religion because but i grew up in a christian church.