God Says: Wash Up After Wet Dreams!

[ermitonto]

Some of this Bible stuff can be pretty funny. Check it out! Here are God's rules for wet dreams:

Leviticus 15:16-18:

And if any man's seed of copulation go out from him, then he shall wash all his flesh in water, and be unclean until the even.

And every garment, and every skin, whereon is the seed of copulation, shall be washed with water, and be unclean until the even.

The woman also with whom man shall lie with seed of copulation, they shall both bathe themselves in water, and be unclean until the even.

A little later, in Leviticus 15:32:

This is the law of him that hath an issue, and of him whose seed goeth from him, and is defiled therewith.

ermitonto Reviewed by ermitonto on 09-05-2005. God Says: Wash Up After Wet Dreams! Some of this Bible stuff can be pretty funny. Check it out! Here are God's rules for wet dreams: Leviticus 15:16-18: A little later, in Leviticus 15:32: Rating: 5

[F L E S H]

Dirty, dirty sperm! It will poison you... until the even, at least.

[Warlock]

I wouldnt mind spurting my seed of copulation right now

[MyAntiDrugIsAmy]

leviticus has all sorts of other funny laws that were written for the jews back in the dizzay
Leviticus 19:20 " 'If a man sleeps with a woman who is a slave girl promised to another man but who has not been ransomed or given her freedom, there must be due punishment. Yet they are not to be put to death, because she had not been freed.

[F L E S H]

leviticus has all sorts of other funny laws that were written for the jews back in the dizzay
Leviticus 19:20 " 'If a man sleeps with a woman who is a slave girl promised to another man but who has not been ransomed or given her freedom, there must be due punishment. Yet they are not to be put to death, because she had not been freed.

Yeah, so why exactly is that one funny, yet gays are still viewed as being some sort of spawn of Satan?

[Warlock]

The bible evolved only once, from the Old Test to the New Test. Since then no one has updated it to apply to the new way of living, this wasnt done because people know it's a fake & is a dead end.

[ermitonto]

Yeah, that's true. Most of these rules are waaaaay out of place in any modern society. They like to use Leviticus to condemn gays, but don't realize that according to Leviticus not only is slavery okay but God says it's okay to even take your brother into slavery, as in Leviticus 25:39-40:

And if thy brother that dwelleth by thee be waxen poor, and be sold unto thee; thou shalt not compel him to serve as a bondservant.

But as an hired servant, and as a sojourner, he shall be with thee, and shall serve thee unto the year of jubilee.

Leviticus 5:7-9 clearly states that animal sacrifices are a good idea too:

And if he be not able to bring a lamb, then he shall bring for his trespass, which he hath committed, two turtledoves, or two young pigeons, unto the LORD; one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering.

And he shall bring them unto the priest, who shall offer that which is for the sin offering first, and wring off his head from his neck, but shall not divide it asunder:

And he shall sprinkle of the blood of the sin offering upon the side of the altar; and the rest of the blood shall be wrung out at the bottom of the altar: it is a sin offering.

[slipknotpsycho]

that makes me wonder how many animal activists/lovers are christians...if so, i bet you they seal their mind off from this.

[MyAntiDrugIsAmy]

Yeah, so why exactly is that one funny, yet gays are still viewed as being some sort of spawn of Satan?

you're right, it isn't that funny, but it was when i was really high.

the point about gay ppl is the point i make all the fucking time. if the christian church dropped all those other laws in the bible, why do they justify keeping the gay bashing?

[kuulbns]

In the old Testament animal sacrifice was used as offerings to God as well as appeasement for sin. With the coming of Christ (the New Testament), Christ is the symolic "Lamb of God". His blood washed away humanities sins, giving us the chance to be "Born Again In Christ". Hence blood sacrifice was abolished.
The referances to washing after sex or after nocturnal emmision, was a law encorporated to keep people clean and free from disease, much as Jews did not eat pork. Pigs at the time carried cholera that could be transmitted to people, causing disease and death, therefore they were considered "unclean". Unclean, simply means in their terms unhealthy.
This is just an explanation as it was taught to me. Not preaching, just thought it might add to the conversation.