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Ok, so I got in a HUGE fight with my mom. About money. Never let your parents borrow money!! Ok, so I was RIGHT in this arguement, and I'm not stepping down. But... the tension in this house... you could cut it with a knife. She won't talk to me. Wtf do I do?! This is rediculous. Like 5th grade all over again.
as a parent i can say this.not that it is What your situation is ,
kids take advantage of the fact that when they need or want
"we pay for it",
at sometime in the future we expect you to start
"paying" for your own stuff,
and while ya at it,dont forget mothers and fathers days.
nick when ya say ya fight every other day over the stupidest shit then let me tell ya this, it is not JUST them being that way,stop some your shit and maybe they stop some thiers.and yaw will get along better,Hopefully anyway, i hope you do.
when was the last time you did something to help your parents out without expecting something,a allowance and trip and new 4 wheeler ,something ???
as a parent i can say 'we do all day every day for you kids and only expect you to grow up and not be a axe killer and make your living doing something you enjoy at best and can stand at the worst'
admits,some parents are fucked up, hope yours aint cuase then your on your own.
shock them and clean the house up,hehehe
they will wonder what you did wrong (jokes)
peace
Don't worry about it man... mother's need children for power, eventually she will brake down, or something will. Parents forget that it is their damn fault for havin kids, and the kid owes them NOTHING... but most kids forget, your parents don't have to do a damn thing for you other than clothe, school, feed, and house you.
My mother has treated me the exact same since i graduated high school... no respect... she doesn't see me as an equal individual, even though as a male adult, i am superior to her in this world (we all know the truth) parents are VERY VERY reluctant to give up power or dominance... which is why alot of parents maintain a monetary hold on most of their children for years after they have left their household. As i grow older and pay more and more attention to my friends, or others parental relationships i see this true... parents (or human beings for this matter) cannot seem to admit inferiority... the child can't admit he is inferior in aspect, and the parents can't do the same... people simply forget... we are all equal, no mater the age or experience... don't believe me, shoot somebody who is rich, intelligent and experienced in the arm, then shoot a poor, young, dumb dude in the same spot.... similar results... just more swearing from the kid
i hate parents they ALWAYS think they are right.
good point. Yea me and my rents get in fights sometimes but obviously later on i think look if they didnt care they wouldnt buy me shit like they do...im thankful but sometimes i really just think they can be narrow minded.
my mother always ask me stupid question such as: do u really think it was a good idea??? then i answer yes. then she says: dont be stupid, do u really think it was a good idea? then finally i just say yes biatch and i get the fuck out of the room coz i cant stand her
This is the best advice anyone could ever give fir the situation at hand,are you ready?
MOVE OUT! Problem solved.
I had a problem with my step prick(he just die in horrible car crash few months ago,KARMA) when i was 15.Moved the fuck out & moved in with my brother for about 1 year.By that time they begging me to come back(i was getting survivors bennifits from my dads death).Turns out they realy counted on my money to help with bills.My folks had a social drinking problem(drank in bars only$$$$$$)so they neede me.The step hated it but had to be nice after that.I LOVE IT WHEN A PLAN COMES TOGETHER!!!
Good Luck,hope you guy's work out something cause all you got sometimes is your family,like it or not.
Hightillidie:
You just said both that you are superior as a male adult then went on to say we are all equal.
Which one of your statements do you believe?
My mom is always pissed at me for something lol I dont know your family or how it works but in my house if she starts bullshitting I fight it til i hit that wall where no matter what the arguement isnt going anywhere, then I just walk away and forget about it. I fight with my mom probably 90% of the time, and its been that way since I was about 9-10. Even though others agree that she is wrong including her husband (my stepdad) my real father, my grandparents (her parents) and even the psychiatrist she still insits its me whos fucked up haha, some things just never get resolved =\ sorry to hear bout ur fight they kinda suck :(
yah i found out my mom went to my friends house and told there parents that i was on hard drugs so most of my friends have to lie to there parents to hang out with me now all becuz i had poped a few pills on the weekends and i found this out after i moved into my dads and he told me that about 6 months ago she bought an 8 ball of coke cuz she wanted to see what it was like cuz they use to do it a long ass tiem ago
Yeah, i didnt make a fight out of it because i have alot of respect for my parents and it takes alot for me to fight with them. Especially me and my dad, we never fight, he is awesome. My stepmom, who im still close to about as regular as my mom, cuz my mom is a fuckup but i love her anyways. Newayz, this morning i get woke up to clean the outside of the fucking house, which i wasnt mad about because i said i would do it. This is the part i dont understand. I go inside after cleaning the fucking outside of the house and bout 10 minutes later i start getting fussed at by my stepmom about how my room isnt clean. i didnt say anything, but i was thinking, "what the fuck bitch, no thanks or nothing, just fucking bitching about shit, at least give me some time to do it. Damn."
So i see what you mean. Good luck with that though.
i've gotten in my mother angry twice today already, the first time i admitted my fault because there was no reason for my outburst, i was just grouchy. the most recent time was also my fault - another outburst. i was moving the extention cord outside and it hit my radio and made it skip and she said, "that was you that time" (because my cd was skipping earlier and that's my biggest petpeeve), i took it as if she thought i was going to blame something else when i knew my own fault and i got an attitude...it made her cry. i suppose the reason she was crying is because she doesn't feel that i think she loves me, which is right sometimes - i feel like she loves me for all the wrong reasons. it's my own fault though, i've allowed it to be like this and only i can fix it. i told her that she shouldn't be mad at me because i wasn't mad at her, i don't think it helped, i'd really like for her to understand me and how i feel, perhaps i should talk to her about it sometime...when she gets home. the main issue is the fact that my step-dad likes me more as a human-being than my older brother. the reason being is that i'm not lazy, i've realized what i have to do to get what i desire and my twenty year old brother has the mind of a child.
my brother was recently out of work for six months, until a couple of days ago, he got a job at circuit city. he fails to realize that my mother will not always be there to hold his hand and that he has to make his own living...of course you can see why my dad doesn't appreciate this and his constantly on his back about it. you have to grow up sometime.
i, on the other hand am currently working my ass of to achieve what i desire in life, with or without my mothers assistance. she feels that my dad likes me more as a son, when infact he doesn't, when i start slipping you better believe he's on my ass too. she too has failed to realize this and is always dogging me out. whenever a workload is put on my brother she calls me to lighten it up or completely take over. her own thoughts of my father have poisoned her own head and now she's playing favorites, but don't tell HER this, she'll throw a fit and cuss me out, tell me that i'm not getting anything from her ever again. she threatens to kick me out of the house when i'm only seventeen - what kind of shit is that?? she also likes to blame a lot on my consumption of marijuana, when it's evident that it has no affect on the way i live my life and the way i treat anyone. i may hit her up for money to buy some once in a while, but i earn it...i don't expect anything to just be handed to me.
i love this woman dearly and i'd do anything for her to realize this...anything. i'm currently theorizing a plan to make her realize this without her thinking that i'm just doing it because i want something (which i'm sure she thinks).
i fear the worse, that one day she's going to leave me and be off by herself - i can't live without her...well...i don't want to. my reasoning is because she's told me that she can't handle my dad sometimes and she doesn't feel like coming home to him - i'm not just like the man, but we do hold the same characteristics, mine aren't to his extreme though. we're always telling her things she doesn't want to hear, it seems to me that she doesn't want to believe the truth about anything we have to say. one day it'll hit her though, hopefully before it's too late.
one day, my mother and i will be able to live in supreme happiness without a hint of disappointment in the air...i yearn for this day, it's up to me to make it happen.
you know what you need to do? nothing. don't change for anyone man, you've got the right mentality. i have a feeling whenever you have kids your going to do a good job raising them, but you must remember children learn from the things their parents didn't do. that's how they keep a constant difference in generations to come...is also how some kids relate to their grandparents much better than their own. although you don't have any help in your household, be sure to involve your kids when you have your own...that's all a kid wants...and...of course...a little bit of privacy. i'm not even a parent, what the hell am i talking for?! lolQuote:
Originally Posted by Nick1990
good to hear ya want to make your own way,Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick1990
i commend you
and parents and kids will always butt heads over lifestyle and actions,
try ya best to think they only want the best for ya,even when and if they dont know what that is
there is no instruction manual on how to RIASE you,
peace
My mom can drive me nutz but i gotta respect her...shes not all there in the head and whenever i try to help her sort things out with herself she keeps telling me to stop nagging and stop making her feel like a bad mom like shes not doing her job. Thats not the situation tho, as the eldest sibling here im suposed to step in and inform her of anything that can change and who better to tell than her? Shes here all the time, or else shes taking a few naps or cooking so why cant i tell her sum things have got to change round here? My little sisters have a huge anger problems and cry and scream at me and eachother even my mom but she just sympathizes with them or if she does yell at them they yell back. I totally hate this...just imagine watching ur sibs fighting over stupid shit like the tv or computor and then break shit...and then ur parents wanna get rid of both the internet and tv!!! It sucks!! And my mom should take charge and change things.
As for myself i can be pretty annoying too. My mom just wants me to do chores for her...i dont think thats cool. I mean all she asks me for is cleaning stuff while she sleeps and she sleeps a lot about 6 hours a day and at night but thats because of her medicine so i dunt know what to say bout that i cant really blame her right? But why cant she ask me to do sumthing other than clean the car, the kitchen, or anything else that needs cleaning? Why cant she ask the sibs? One is 11 she can clean a kitchen!!! We dont have money problems with eachother, she usually pays me back if i give her sum money but if she dident i wouldent mind. but w/e my mom has issues so do I so i just want sumthings to change.
All in all respect ur parents, ur family and thats very important. I would hate to lose my family so they're really a blessing to have good parents cuz some parents fucking suck.
i can feel where your coming from lily. all you can do is hope everyone comes to an understanding in your house and if takes you stepping up to make it happen...make it happen.
MOVING OUT, is very good advice :DQuote:
Originally Posted by unmeg
Ive been moved out for like a year and two months now, its great. It's not for everyone tho, because not everyone has somewhere they can go, and a way of money to support them. Luckly i have a loving grandma. I use to be like most people on here. I would argue everyday with my mom, atleast like 5 times a day, i swear. It was like everything was fine and then she came home from work. And it sucked because my dad would take her side because he didnt want to get yelled at, and he is pussy whipped. I mean it was so bad that one night at dinner, he told me just not to talk the whole time because he didnt feel like getting yelled at tonight. I was liek WTF, god they piss me off. It was stupid the way i got out of my house tho. Well before i moved out i had been suffering from really bad depression and i had tried to kill myself twice(only once of my parents knowing). Anyways about 3 months before i moved out i started smoking weed. This helped me a lot, it made me more happy, more sociable, i didnt need zoloft anymore(didnt work anyways except for side effects). But then my mom found out that i was smoking weed, kinda by tricking me, but it didnt work cuz i was just honest about it anyways. So then she freaks out and i go home and im like im leaving, and then i threatned if she didnt let me go live with my grandma then i was going to kill myself(looking back it was something stupid to say, but i got what i wanted so yeah)So i just left my house, she wouldnt let me go in my room to get anything.(theres more to the whole story of why i moved out and stuff but then you'd have to hear my whole life story). Anyways in the end if you can move out, and you have somewhere to stay and some finicial support, go for it. Oh btw i just barely turned 15 when i moved out. Im 16 now.
lol but its not happening...and i get yelled at if i try :(Quote:
Originally Posted by Ganj
thats what every tenn goes thru. It wasnt even bad with me during my teen years. It was more of something like, calvin you closing your door now'a days? Do you feel unsociable bla bla bla?. it was random shit that just leaves you argueing back and forth with no cause. It got so bad that my dad threatened to put me thru boarding school but they were just niave to accept that fact i was jsut growing up. Being an only child and all doesnt help at all btw. But my dad try to bully me around by pushing me and all i could think about was leaving or hitting him back. But luckily today, my rents are cool and they no longer give me a hardtime. Maybe its because I got reallie jacked from baseball lol. By anywho, they could be afraid or they might not be, but your rents will always love you.
Just remember, it's not a bad arguement till a glass ashtray gets whipped at your arm. No...that never happened to me. ;)
Yeah it happened to me, i don't even know what we were argueing about, i just know it was something stupid.
-peace
i think someday everyone at this community should have a huge trip all planned so we can all toke together and forget about all our problems :D
I spit on this post.Quote:
Originally Posted by HighTillIDie
You are inferior to your mother. You probably wouldn't have as many problems if you gave her the recognition and respect she deserves instead of trying to make everyone believe you are equal to her. You're not. She is above you in experience, age, and probably intelligence as well. You, a little know nothing kid, attempting to pass off that you're equal to her is demeaning to her. Im sure the only one who thinks you're an equal with your mother is you. No wonder she cant muster up the strength or love to respect you given your blatent degradation of her.
If you get nothing from my post please get this: Give your mother her kudos for being more experienced, more intelligent, and more wordly than you. I promise you if you wouldn't play the "Im better than you are" or "Im the same as you are even though I havent been on this planet as long as you have or experienced the things you have" bullshit, she would probably respect you. Its hard to respect someone who is so full of themselves they actually believe and voice that they are of equal or greater importance than someone else, an adult. Especially if its your child who still lives at home. If my child ever tried to say that we were equals, I would be more inclined to put him/her in her place than to start giving away my respect.
You want respect, you give respect. Want people to not respect you, then be sure to continue to disrespect them. There is no way to manipulate that age-old concept any other way. You'll lose trying.
When I was a teenager I fought with my parents all the time. Back then I couldn't stand them and couldn't wait to move out of the house which I did when I was 18. Now, however, I realize that they actually were very good parents and just wanted what was best for me.
Most teenagers (myself included) think they know everything. I'll give credit where it's due and admit that most kids do know a lot more than most adults give them credit for. Kids today are smart and there is no denying it. Intelligence and experience are two very different things, however, and experience is what teenagers lack.
As a teenager your whole world is in front of you. You can fuck up now because you can always change things in your future. Then one day, in your late 20's or early 30's, you wake up and realize that the future has arrived, and its like getting hit with a fucking brick. You've made your bed and are lying in it but, unfortunately, it's not as comfy as you thought it would be. Parents know this feeling, teenagers don't, and can't.
Parents know how hard it is to find a rewarding career. Not a job, but a career that you stick with and make a living from. Parents know what it is like to worry about losing their job and how they would make ends meet if they do. Parents know what it is like to worry about your credit rating. Parents know what it is like to worry about a sick child. Parents know that some of the choices they made as teenagers were wrong and don't want their kids to make the same bad choices.
I won't generalize and say that you're all a bunch of fucked up kids that need to respect your parents. Ousted made some good points but didn't take into account that there are a lot af bad parents out there and a lot of them actually have really great kids. I imagine some of you are in this position but certainly not all of you. I do believe, however, that most parents do love their children and just want what's best for them.
So, if nothing else, realize that there are some things that your parents know that you do not. Chances are, these things are what lead to a lot of the fights you're having with them.
Very well said. You articulated the parents POV better than most parents probably can.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fengzi
Eh, I was just replying to HightilIdie. I, unfortunately, am well aware of how many bad parents there are out there. My parents were bad parents. Im not saying unfair parents who didnt "get" me, Im saying bad parents. I dont tell my story to many people, but those few people who know it cant believe that I was able to come out of that hellish life and be the person I am today. Trust me, the hell I lived through wasn't because of a tug of war over getting and giving respect, thats for sure. So, if my response seemed as though I have tunnel vision, I assure you, that absolutely wasn't my intention, as I am well aware that there are bad situations and bad families/parents out there...I just didnt think it was the case with the person I responded to.Quote:
I won't generalize and say that you're all a bunch of fucked up kids that need to respect your parents. Ousted made some good points but didn't take into account that there are a lot af bad parents out there and a lot of them actually have really great kids. I imagine some of you are in this position but certainly not all of you. I do believe, however, that most parents do love their children and just want what's best for them.
From what i've seen America seems to treat its older teenagers as children, its Very different here people over the age of 16 are treated with respect and spoken to in such a manner. Maybe teenagers are different here? But i can't really condone the way younger people in America area treated as inferior because of their age its a form of discrimination.