favourite almost got caught stories

quick background: my parents are ssssaaavage about weed, they kicked me out for 5 days when i was 15 because i came home with red eyes and smelling like it
ok so its summer my bro is 4 years younger than me im 18 hes 14 at the time...him and my rents leave to go to a soccer game
soon as they leave, i fire up the stove and throw on some knives (one of the only time i ever done blades at my house) i take am about to take a hoot when i hear the front door open i freaked out grabbed the knives turned off the stove grabbed teh weed ran down the stairs and threw teh weed and blades in my room and slammed shut the door. i go upstairs to see its my bro, he forgot his water bottle(he'd have ratte me out for dope he was goody/goody at the time). so neway i go back to my room and the blades burned 2 nice big knife marks into the carpet. now i was really freaking out. i got scissors, and trimmed the edges of my carpet next to the walls just barely - nothing visible , and collected the carpet shavings, i then super glued just barely the area that was burned, then placed the carpet shavings i gathered onto the glue, and now this day 2 1/2 years later i cant even find that spot on my bedroom carpet it worked so well. :) i have so many more ill try n think of

the summer i started to smoke we always smoked in my friends room and his parents would come home from work at like 3 am so one time we are all smoking bowl after bowl after bowl then we hear knock knock knock and we are all like oh shit and my friend just opens the door and talk to his mom im like oh shit well i guess she never knew what it smelled like cuz the room smelled like straight weed nothing happend so we just stared to smoke again

we were smoking in my kitchen and its close to my garage so you can bhear it when it opens. my firned said he thought he heard it bein the astupid paranoid fuck he is when he smokes weed with us. so i go to check and pretend my dad weas there. he and my other firne dfreaked out and i laughed my ass off. then we were gunna leave an he turned out to actually be there. somehow we managed to go out thje front dfoor undetected. clearly my parets dont know what weed smells like.

Good job covering your ass.

A 'friend' of mine was pulling out of his driveway on to a busy street, his girlfriend was in the front with him and I was in the back hitting a bowl when all of a sudden some dude on a motorcycle started yelling at the driver because he cut him off. After gazing for a second I realized it was a cop on a motorcycle, I threw the bowl down and remember putting my seat belt on. I don't know if this cop was just a dumbass or what, but all he did was yell at my friend for cutting him off, whose response was "Im sorry officer im sorry it wont happen again" then he sped off.

More recently SWIM and this other kid go to the back of a warehouse in the area at night since part of the building is abandoned. Place is freshly boarded up, so SWIM and the kid go up a stone wall and behind some trees to try and find another way in, simultaneously a car pulls up, SWIM and the other fellow get down behind some trees and try to hide. After about half an hour the dude left, taking with him a backpack containing three bongs, a bowl and a portable DVD player that had been left behind.

heres 2 more - both run ins with the 5-0

thers liek 10 of us in 3 veichles we are party surfing we stop in a parking lot of a school to get out and take a piss and figure otu where to go next....like 6 cop cars appear outta nowhere cornering us in they make us dump out liek 100 beer.....they take me to search me...i relize i have hash and weed in my pocket....i had my hands in my pockets so when they told em to spread em and put hands on the car i pulled the baggies outta my pocket in the palm of my hand and pressed them up against the cop car window, when they were done searching me i put it back in my pocket and jumped ni the backseet to get my ticket, then they drove me toa freinds wher ei went in and smoekd the hash...

this onems halarious its grade 11, leaving class in high school my religion teacher that knows i drink and is all agaisnt drinkning asys be good tonite, im like oh ..i will
later that nite were at the liquor store and give $ to soem dudes to get us booz, but then the undercover cops busted us b4 we got the alcohol...we had a pipe in the car it was udner the seat the cops went with a flash light while i was still sitting in the back and they went to search udner the seat i quickly grabbed the pipe and pocketed it, and then when they fisniehd looking under the seat i threw it back under the seat, they took me outta the car then and searched me, put me in the back seat and started writing me up the ticket.....heres the punch...as im sitting in the back seat i see my religion teacehr walking by from the restuarant and she sees me so i jsut wave and smile and she gives me dirty look and walks away.....oh yea and then we got back into my buddies car and went cahsing down the car that took our $ and booz since we got busted....we ended up hitting the side of their car with with a empty beer bottle we threw otu the window but they kept going and we gave up...it was pretty intense

LOL wave and smile at someone who doesn't like you drinking.. while in a cop car.
You seem to be good at moving things around discreetly, and i would never be able to think fast enough to move a pipe to my pocket, then back to under the seat.
If when you had the weed and hash pressed against the window, you would have been fucked if one of them climbed into the car and the light came on lol :)

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Originally Posted by 3 Sheets To The Wind

LOL wave and smile at someone who doesn't like you drinking.. while in a cop car.
You seem to be good at moving things around discreetly, and i would never be able to think fast enough to move a pipe to my pocket, then back to under the seat.
If when you had the weed and hash pressed against the window, you would have been fucked if one of them climbed into the car and the light came on lol :)

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Dude i was thinking the same thing, thats some fucking slick shit.

ok it was like this: i had just gotten a copy of Debbie Does Dallas from my so called "friend" and ran as fast as i could down the street to my house. i ran up the stairs and into my room. i was so excited that i forgot to fully close the door. well, as the credits were rolling i whipped out my johnson and started warming up. i was inspecting my penis because i thought i saw a mole on it that wasnt there before when my grandma barges through the door screaming "Help me flush the toilet!! Its clogged...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING???!!!!" I fell over and gasped as my full erection was exposed to my grandmother while gay porn was playing on the tv!!! boy did i give that "friend" a beating. and my grandma hasnt spoken to me since. and that was 10 years ago. oh well. she wasnt that great of a lady anyways. wait a minute...when you say you want to read almost got caught stories you were referring to almost got caught masturbating stories right???? RIGHT?????!!!!!!!

Well, I've been caught a couple of times.

by my dad...All of us were out by this creek partying(yes my dad was partying too, he is a cool dad, he got me drunk for the first time )My boyfriend at the time,and my best friends father which is the guy who has all the weed, And me were sitting in the back of the truck, when he pulls out this pipe,It had been awhile since I had smoked weed at the time, so they hand me the bowl,and I take it..smoke some, and pass it.Well, everytime I smoked out of it, I made sure my dad wasn't looking he was busy fishin' or something. Well by the fourth or fifth time around me,I was so fucking stoned I didn't care or pay attention to anything around me. So, I smoke out of the bowl and pass it, not knowing its my dad i'm passing too, I look up,and there he is staring at me.So I smiley sweetly, cause i'm a girl and i can get away withthat,and said "Hi Daddy. I love you. I wasn't smoking out of that thing. I was just testing it, making sure that it was working right. Silly potheads"Everybody started laughing, including my dad, then he looked at me and said..I know you smoke pot, I just wanted to see the look on your face.Then he handed it back to my friends dad and said pack this again, so he did, then he took it from my friends dad, handed it to me,and said now..Silly pothead now smoke all of this..I was already baked..I just looked at him with sad puppy dog eyes and was like..."Reallly?"And he said yes...I want to see how much you actually smoke.So.. I took it, half way through the bowl i was ready to pass out,and my boyfriend was like..."stop, give it up..I would've given up a loooong time ago"lol and so i handed him the bowl layed my head on his shoulder and was like "I'll never do this around my dad again..."

Well thats my story.

yea me and my father used to be really close like that, I'd give him painkillers,and he'd try to grow me weed, or he'd jus let me party at his house until dawn...now he is just an old man,and he doesn't really do much with me..lol that was our bonding time:)

BWAHAHAH that gay porn one had me in stiches... friggin 10 years and still hasn't spoken to him. that's some funny shit. oh man *whew*

Well I have had a few "close calls" but this one comes to mind now so here goes...
Some friends of mine and I were hotboxing 2 fat ass hooters in my car driving down this not-so-busy road. Well we're crusin and smokin and the car gets super super smokey. We are all baked off our asses and neglect to realize that this not so busy road we were on has merged into madison avenue which is one of the really busy streets in sacramento. So we are sitting here in this crowded ass intersection, car literally full of smoke, and my friend says, "hey man, why is everyone staring at us". EVERYONE next to us, behind us, in front of us were straight staring at our car and some ppl were even laughing and pointing. We put the joints out... roll down the windows really quick and smoke pours out of the car. The couple behind us starts hysterically laughing and the driver gets on his cellphone. We peel out of there super quick like. hahah. It's pretty funny now but we were pretty paranoid at the time.

Okay I'm 30 and about 4 yrs ago, I went to pick up from my buddy, I got a big fat quarter and put it in the inside of my wallet, like where your licence goes. (now I am stoned cause buddy smoke a few while I was over :D

I go to KFC and am in line in front of two coppers, I order my food and open my wallet and set iy on the counter in front of me! :eek: The cops are in uniform right behind me and I don't even notice what I have done.

The guy who took my cash is making this strange face at me (a cross between these) :eek: :confused: :( I look down and slam my wallet shut, then I have to pay and re-open it!

Thank doG that it turned out good (not that it would have been a huge legal prob (live in canada) but if they took a full & fluffy quarter before I smoked any I would cry! :(

I was recently at a get together, and we were all about to leave, with a couple of friends, still in the house. It was getting a bit noisy, and some cops rolled down the street, and turned right around and drove right back the other direction. I've asked my friend, who had weed, to get the rest of them fast. As he ran across to the gate, those sneaky porkers walked through the path between the houses, and I watch all this unfold sitting in the car, like watching COPS on TV was the view I had. They point a flashlight at my boy and he looked white as a ghost. Next thing the pigs went into the house, as they saw half the people outside ran right into the house. They asked for the owner, and it was all right from there, just stop being loud. One of my boys stashed an ounce in the cops view, but they didn't see it or otherwise everyone would've been fucked.

well i once came home, really stoned... and i meant to ask my dad " when are you going to make some tea" but instead i asked "when's the next time we're gonna smoke? " to him... i asked " whens the next time we're gonna smoke", three times before i realized what i said.

Gosh, good thai weeed makes you do that sometimes haha :-)

hhahhahahaa
lol
embarassing (sp?)

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Originally Posted by OzzyOz

well i once came home, really stoned... and i meant to ask my dad " when are you going to make some tea" but instead i asked "when's the next time we're gonna smoke? " to him... i asked " whens the next time we're gonna smoke", three times before i realized what i said.

Gosh, good thai weeed makes you do that sometimes haha :-)

hhahhahahaa
lol
embarassing (sp?)

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Lol i know what you mean, your just trying so hard to say something but it wont come out? lol

A few years ago, I bought an acrylic gravity bong at a head shop, it was about three feet tall, and I had never hit a gravity bong before this. So my parents are both home, and I leave it in the car and go inside so I can wait until they are distracted until I can sneak it in. Anyway, I finally sneak it inside and immediately pack a bowl in my room and proceed to take the biggest hit I've ever had in my life. I then proceeded to repeat this several times, until my mom yelled at me to come for dinner.

At this time I felt really stoned, red eyed, uncoordinated, and also really bloated. So we were eating and I decided to let off some of the gas from my stomach discreetly, but instead I belched really loud, blowing a puff of smoke that I had swallowed a minute ago into the middle of the table.

I thought that the must have seen it, so I yelled "oh shit" and my parents who had been too busy looking down at their plates to see the smoke ask me what the hells going on. I knew how I looked and sounded and went with the standard "I'm sick may I be excused" line and almost ran back to my room.

Yay I have a nother funny:)

One time I was at a party when I was 16. My friends were all there, I was really drunk/stoned off my ass. Everyone was going to sleep. but I didn't want to go to sleep. So, I was like I'll call my b/f at the time,and have him come take me home. He lived with my uncle R. So I dialed the number, and when they picked up I blurted out. I'm really fucked up, I'm so fucking stoned right now, Could you come pick me up hon?"And my mom was on the other end..She goes"What the hell?"And I go"Whooaaaa...Mom..What are you doing at uncle R's House at 2 am in the morning?"She goes, "I am not at uncle R's i'm at my house, you dialed my number by accident of course, and now you're in a lot of trouble, where the hell are you, i thought you were at your uncles?"So i was like "Oh man..I'm kiddin' Just wanted to see what you would say'"Click. So then she called back, (I had a cell phone)And I started talking in a forign accent"I was like Nooo avia Live..No No.."And she was like stop it right now!I'm calling your uncle, and you're coming home tonight..So I was like okay damn..So then She picked me up at my friends house, and yelled at me all the way home. I was in a lot of trouble. I told myuncle about it later, and he laughed at me(he is a stoner too)

I really got to stop getting high around family......or calling family while i'm high.

my step father has booted down the door, right when i was smoking out of my new peice. shouting, i can't believe you're smoking! why didn't you tell me you got another pipe! count me in. my freind was sitting on the bed with his jaw on the floor. he didn't know i smoke with him all the time. LOL :)

i did some shit like that before, my uncle smokes weed and i had my friend over, and he did something i can't remmeber what (memory of a stoner) but i wanted to get him back, so i told my uncle to go in the back yard in about 5 mins and act like he would if he had busted me smokin weed and was pissed...so i tell my boy let's go in the back and light one up...as planned my uncle comes aroudn the corner and i play it off like oh shit my uncle, and my buddy takes off running with the blunt and jumpes the fence when my uncle yells "wtf are yall smoking!!" he ran all the way to his house, which is only the next street over, so me an mdy uncle get in the car and meet him in his drive way, when he saw us he had the look on his face like "oh fuck he followed me" but i was like hey bitch we wanna hit that shit too and my uncle was laughin his ass off, so he hopped in the ride and laughed about it and we went back and got sooo stoned, it was awesome!

Nice story Joe, lol, tricksters in the family..
Wish someone else in my family smoked other than me, as my mates are all pussies now and say "oh, i can't smoke weed anymore, my girlfriend would kill me if she found out!" when it's only like 3 of us (me and 2 of my male friends, scared about getting busted by their gf's, when we were alone)
So now i have to smoke alone all the time, as no one else will anymore..
I have a couple of friends that do, but they don't pay, or give me anything in return, and are lazy, always expecting me to go to their houses rather than them come here.

..Josh:)

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Originally Posted by ImStonedNILikeIt

Yay I have a nother funny:)

One time I was at a party when I was 16. My friends were all there, I was really drunk/stoned off my ass. Everyone was going to sleep. but I didn't want to go to sleep. So, I was like I'll call my b/f at the time,and have him come take me home. He lived with my uncle R. So I dialed the number, and when they picked up I blurted out. I'm really fucked up, I'm so fucking stoned right now, Could you come pick me up hon?"And my mom was on the other end..She goes"What the hell?"And I go"Whooaaaa...Mom..What are you doing at uncle R's House at 2 am in the morning?"She goes, "I am not at uncle R's i'm at my house, you dialed my number by accident of course, and now you're in a lot of trouble, where the hell are you, i thought you were at your uncles?"So i was like "Oh man..I'm kiddin' Just wanted to see what you would say'"Click. So then she called back, (I had a cell phone)And I started talking in a forign accent"I was like Nooo avia Live..No No.."And she was like stop it right now!I'm calling your uncle, and you're coming home tonight..So I was like okay damn..So then She picked me up at my friends house, and yelled at me all the way home. I was in a lot of trouble. I told myuncle about it later, and he laughed at me(he is a stoner too)

I really got to stop getting high around family......or calling family while i'm high.

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haha so many time when im stoned i put the wrong numbers in!

My sister got a text the other day saying "guess who" (she didn't know the number) so she text back saying, "who are you?" and they text back with "Nan x X X x"
neither of my nan's own a phone, and they wouldn't have her number anyway, so it was strange. When i next get some weed, i may ring the number off my phone to see who the joker is

I was up the centre of london maybe a month ago in a friends car there was 3 Lads 2 girls, i was smoking a spliff 2 my self i just finished the spliff so i thought id roll id roll up a blunt for us 3 to smoke, so i got a bit of cardboard on my lap about to roll a blunt when we get pulled over. The car got searched then we all got searched and they found the weed there was only about a gram cos i dnt take out large amounts when out and about, they didnt say nothing bout the weed i was alowed to keep it too cos im over 18.

They were pretty cool untill one of my m8s asked my other m8 who was drinkign for a sip of his drink in which my m8 replied no and my freind said "MAN YOU SUCH A JEW" the officer then said "WHAT?, Theres notin wrong with being Jewish and pointed to a star of david badge on his uniform :|

i was driving around lost in a detour off the highway one night after picking up a friend from a party around 2 in the am. i pass one cop coming from the opposite direction and another turning my direction off another road (same one probly) they pull me over for a broken license plate light (bullshit) my friend of course insisted on bringing alcohol with her and she is not yet 21. the police pull her out and they search the car since she stinks like booze. she claims responsibility for her beers and gets a minor in posesssion ticket, next they pulled me out and searched and patted me down. at this time i had forgotten i had about a quarter oz minus a about a blunt in my pockets. the cop reached into the pocket which this bag was in, felt around and came up empty handed and told me to go back to the car and sent us on our way. craziest traffic stop i've ever encountered.

nice stories everyone, i like the burping the smoke up at the dinner table one i always have "weed burps" after i smoke......i have an almost got caught story of that too......i was in my religion teacher's class (same one as in my other story) in grade 11 ....me and some friends from that class had all gotten ripped at break right before we came to class......we are sitting in our desks as shes coming around checking soemthing to see each of us did it - right as she is checking me i burp up smoke and sitting in font of me is this faggot kid tht yells out "Adam's High!" and everyoen starts lauhging except my buddies that smoekd with me ......this is the really wierd part.....my teacher sniffs the smoke....and says "thats not marijuana... dont bug Adam" and then she just continued checking ppls work.... strange huh??

this just happened a couple of weeks ago, me and 4 friends are cruising around in one of the dudes van (this is an old school purple stoner van). we're kinda bored so one of us gets the bright idea of hotboxing the van. its about 1045, and theres a provincial park (canada) really close to where we live. so we decide to just drive down to the parking lot and smoke up in the van, then get out of there, seeing as we only have 15 minutes till the park closes. so were having a great time, passing around a couple glass bowls when suddenly i see headlights driving towards us. im tottally baked, but i can tell that this dude isnt driving on the road, hes driving on the bike path, so either hes some crazy guy who managed to get his car onto the bike path, or hes the park ranger. my money was on park ranger, so i yell "SHIT ITS THE RANGER MAN!" and jump into the back of the van, and curl up there. the other guys are all laughing their asses off at me, thinking i just saw a car and was being paranoid. up until the truck acctually pulls up right beside us, and the guy gets out. so their all freaking out "dude hide the weed hide the weed!" the guy knocks on the side of the van door, and so the guy who was driving opens up the door, and smoke just pours out into this guys face. im still in the back hiding, just watching this from under the seat, and somehow he didnt see me. long story short, after we made some bogus excuses about what we were doing he just told us that we cant be smoking pot in vehicles in the park and to get out because hes trying to close the park.

A few summers ago me and a couple of my friends we're super paranoid about smoking weed, which also made us super stupid about how we smoked it. So we didn't want to smoke it in the car so we decided we we're going to park somewhere and walk in to the woods or something as we've done many times before. Unfortunatly those fucking idiots decided it would be a bright idea to park the car in front of an open business and walk behind all of these buildings, through a giant cornfield to get to the fucking woods. The people at the business called the cops I get, and as we we're walking out of the woods I started to get a bad feeling and I was telling my buddy to ditch his shit and he's like "shut the fuck up man, you're just trippin" and sure enough right when we walked out of the field two cop car with their lights and sirens on come blazing up to where we we're and bust out asses. I didn't have anything on me except a lighter and a knife, so I didn't get busted, although the knife turned it in to a pretty intense situation. My friend had a bowl and ended up getting a fine and having to go to rehab.

me and my homies were at the park at noon when one of my friends victor said he had a 1/4 of chronic. so we rolled 2 fat ass joints after the first one i was fucked up. half done with the second victor looks at the parking lot and says
theres a cop car. i thought he was kidding then i looked up and a cop came out
with a fuckin dog. so we just walk causlly away then we hear STOP and we hauled ass but i dropped the joint and high as i was i ran back to get it when i picked up the pig let the dog go. i never ran faster and my friend was all ready
over the gate i finllay made it to the fence and i was almost over when the dog got my shoe it came off and i kept running. they were brand new $90 shoes fuck

Awww that sucks about the shoes, at least now you have a $45 shoe ;) lol

lol i gave my other shoe to my friend and told my mom i got jumped

Lol
You: mum, i got jumped by some rough fellas
mum: what did they take?
you: my shoes, the bastards!
mum: your $90 ones?!
you: yes, unfortunately
mum: lets get you some new ones immediately
you: (aside) yesss


Lol, that would be cool, not a fun experience you went through though buddy

this happened last year I was driving home after picking up a couple oz of weed stopped at a traffic island when I was hit from behind and shunted into the car in front and as shit happens a police patrol car was coming around the roundabout and offered me some help a male and female officer got out the car and gave me a hand move my car the female officer who was standing quiet close said whats that funny smell to which I replied cooling fluid she just gave me a funny look and continued to follow me around the car inspecting the damage,,im sure she knew what the smell was made me sweat though

that is excacly what happend. my mom was pissed but who cares