My sister keeps telling me to see a councilor...

But I can't because I don't really know how to describe the problem. I'm going to school right now, taking business, but I'm planning on going strait into a writing course this January and dropping the business, because it turns out I hate it.

Anyway, I think there's a pretty good chance I'll fail all but one of my courses right now. lol the one course I will pass is, of course, Business Communications, a writing course.

The thing is, I'm not failing because I don't have the cognitive ability, I'm just too burnt out and not handling any of my life very well right now. I'm just not doing the work and falling behind, for the simple reason that I can't emotionally handle it. I can't handle anything anymore, I just want to go live on a secluded island and not worry about anything ever again. Constant anxiety, depression, no patience for anything anymore; most of the time I won't talk to any of my family because I just can't deal with them. The same worries keep going through my head 24/7, sometimes even waking me up in the middle of the night.

The only time I ever feel "good" (in an artificial way) is when I take huge amounts of painkillers till all I can feel is numbness and pleasure. Even then I'm miserable, but it's smothered in the numb pleasurable feeling. I know everyone would say that's the wrong thing to do, and albeit I've never done it before, but if I didn't get the break from reality I'm afraid I'd get suicidal.
Unfortunately weed only makes me feel worse, and in fact was giving me panic attacks every time I smoked it, so I quit 3 weeks ago and don't plan to use it again. It just amplifies everything that feels bad.

I guess the main thing is the aloneness getting to me. I have no friends, I have no experience with relationships, sex, not even been kissed; and I'm 22. I lost my best friend because I fell for her, then when she went out with another guy I lost it and told her off, ruining the friendship. She won't talk to me again.
Every day it sinks in more and more that I'll be alone forever, that nobody will ever love me; I'm not even sure I can make friends with my poor social skills. My old friends have all drifted away. Please, no talk of how it'll turn around eventually. I've been waiting for that train for too long and it never comes, no matter how many times I hope and try.


So back to the main topic, my sister insists I talk to a councilor to help me with my academic problems. I just don't see what a councilor could do though. Is he/she going to magically give me social skills? Will a councilor hook me up with a girlfriend? Make me friends? Make me stop having panic attacks when I'm in large groups of people? These are the reasons I can't succeed any more, what could a councilor possibly do? I already feel really insecure about sharing how I feel with other people, and I'm nervous as hell that he'll just say "well, you just need to change your attitude. There's nothing I can do." and I'll look like an idiot. Because really, what can they do?

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Originally Posted by Gandalf_The_Grey

I just don't see what a councilor could do though. Is he/she going to magically give me social skills? Will a councilor hook me up with a girlfriend? Make me friends? Make me stop having panic attacks when I'm in large groups of people?

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Yes. That's EXACTLY what a therapist is for- to work you through the panic and give you tools to avoid the situations where you will have panic attacks, and deal withthem when you are forced to be in them.
The rest of it is up to you, but with the root problem addressed, you will find it easier.
I started seeing a therapist for my own anxiety and panic disorder about 2 years ago. My life has done a complete 180 since then. No more panic attacks. No more abusive boyfriends. No more avoiding large crowds or using alcohol to ease the time I had to spend in them.
I have no clue whatsoever why you haven't been to one yet. You're on here quite a bit voicing what sounds like a bad anxiety problem... if you've got anxiety/depression from a chemical imbalance, there's nothing anyone on canncom can do to help. Go see a therapist already. Sheesh. Hurry up, snap snap, get moving.

Stinky, Gurl you ain't never lie.

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Originally Posted by stinkyattic

Yes. That's EXACTLY what a therapist is for- to work you through the panic and give you tools to avoid the situations where you will have panic attacks, and deal withthem when you are forced to be in them.
The rest of it is up to you, but with the root problem addressed, you will find it easier.
I started seeing a therapist for my own anxiety and panic disorder about 2 years ago. My life has done a complete 180 since then. No more panic attacks. No more abusive boyfriends. No more avoiding large crowds or using alcohol to ease the time I had to spend in them.
I have no clue whatsoever why you haven't been to one yet. You're on here quite a bit voicing what sounds like a bad anxiety problem... if you've got anxiety/depression from a chemical imbalance, there's nothing anyone on canncom can do to help. Go see a therapist already. Sheesh. Hurry up, snap snap, get moving.

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Ohhhh K, well you make a solid point StinkyAttic. But that's why I'm asking, I don't know if you're familiar with Social Anxiety Disorder (or strait-out social ineptitude in my case) but it's really nerve-wracking; the thought of opening up to someone with no idea what to expect.I've got this mental barrier that scares the shiznat out of me at the prospect of opening up. It's just easier to do knowing what I'm going into, ya know?

Thanks for the advice anyway.

Guess what I suspect I suffer from myself, GTG... or rather, used to suffer a lot MORE from...

No one can force you to see a shrink.

I had to hit bottom before I made the decision to go. Rock bottom included being arrested for felony assault with a deadly weapon. If it's a problem in your life, do yourself the favor and get your head shrunk before your problems get worse- you're spending all this time and energy worrying about the effects of what is essentially a chemical imbalance, and those effects are rubbing off into your life or lack thereof; how long will it take you before something more drastic than telling off a girl you like just because you are having anxiety issues? And what is it going to be?

It's easier to go through the initial humiliation (sounds like you see it that way anyway) of submitting to the care of a mental health professional than dealing with the after-effets of doing something outrageous because you're panicking.

I had been put on Zoloft, btw, before my arrest, by a NP (my PCP), who had completely misdiagnosed me with PMS-related depression. I should have gone directly to a shrink, but I was too embarrassed at that point to admit there was anything more serious than PMS wrong with me. We hear what we like to hear; the truth is harder to listen to sometimes. Take your sister's advice, and mine, or leave them for later. It's up to you whether you really want to solve your problems or not.

I'm moving this to the medical section.

I can't even pretend to know anything about mental health but as for anxiety/embarrassment about going to see a therapist think of it like this: They are professionals, they deal with people in your sort of situation every day. Everytime I have to do something I dont want to do i just think "hey, I wont be the worst person at it ever, there is always someone worse".

Dude, a therapist is a paid, wise friend. Go, do your best to explain what's bugging you. Chances are, s/he has heard it all before and may have some ideas to help. The worst that can happen, is that nothing happens!

I've been there, done that (and that summer my psych ran away with a younger guy to Tahiti! lol Go, Dr Mac! And I hope he was worth it!). Yet, on the whole it helped. I was able to deal with abandonment issues, my Mom's bipolar problems and her self-medicating, multiple addictions and my feelings of inadequacy and guilt.

Go!

Granny:hippy:

Well dude, I can honestly say to you that I know what its like to be in your situation and as a matter of fact I am still going through it. Feeling the way you feel is a horrible thing. You can't think about anything but that and it plagues you 24/7. I've been through it, I've attempted suicide, I've been in jail, I've had my heart crushed, I've seen a psychiatrist, drug therapist, am struggling in an engineering program that I hate, you name it and I've probably done it. When I went to see my psychiatrist i was a very nervous and skeptical just as you are. And to be honest with you, he was just another person to talk to. I still don't know if it ever made me feel better, but I always felt relieved after I left the office so even that little feeling of hope was worth it. If you just let your restrictions go and take a chance you might start feeling better. But it takes effort on your part. I'm still struggling with my life but I've done my best to try and make it better. And even if it wasn't a direct thing, what helped me to start was seeing my psychiatrist. That's when I started to turn things around and stop with the self pity. If you want things to change, you yourself have to make the changes.

Good Luck Man, I know how hard it is.....trust me, you're not alone.

Okay here is some advice from me. I have gone through similar (not the same) things recently.

1. If you hate it, you are right to leave. Don't let others convince you to stay in a career that your heart is not in.

2. Do you really hate the career or do you hate yourself? Please examine this issue before taking action on anything else.

3. Do see a psychologist, at least to see what it is like. You have nothing to lose, and you can certainly refuse medication in favor of talk therapy only. You'd be surprised what you are repressing and denying. Therapy sucks, take it from me, but nobody can force pills down your throat except you, so remember who's in the power seat, and you can get what you want out of therapy.

4. Where does your anxiety stem from? If you can't deal with this issue head-on, early on in life, it will come back to bite you in the ass later on. Get thee to professional help if you can't grapple with these issues alone.

5. Sometimes in life, you've got to kick yourself in the ass, because nobody else is willing to do it for you.

Before I continue I want to clear one thing up.

You do have friends. You have us here, a few of us that known you through all your plights MrD. We may not be there for you physically, but we are there for you in heart and spirit. Perhaps we never talked all that much, but I always had a connection with who you are and your words, it affects me deeply. In some ways, we are quite similar, and when I read what you say, it mirrors the way I am like. You do have friends, and you are capable of making more.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and instead be who you are. Smile. Relax, and try to be comfortable with who you are. Don't believe that you have to be something else in order to have friends, in order to have sex. You have to be you.

A counselor can do some good if you find the right one. Simply someone to talk to and vent your frustrations, and help you realize the mental barriers you set upon yourself.

I know the anguish you are going through, the frustration. But don't let life pass you by feeling sorry for yourself, there's a lot of life to live. You gotta fight your mind from these negative thoughts, and inject them with good.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Smile :)

Your sister's onto something. You've resisted the same recommendation from me, my husband, and from others here.

Going to a counselor doesn't mean you have to stay in treatment forever. But a good one can make a world of difference. It's understandable with all your anxieties and social unease you'd be wary of taking that step. But if you can find one who is kind and perceptive and stick with him/her past the initial flight response when you start getting down to the brass tacks of what's up with you (you'll want to terminate treatment and run for the hills when that happens, knowing you), you will benefit immensely. So will the people who care about you.

THCBongman's right. There are a lot of folks who care about you and are your friends. Right here. Me included. I've sought treatment for anxiety, PTSD and depression myself. It takes a heck of a lot more courage to work on yourself than to keep living as an emotional invalid. You have that courage. I know you do. I've seen you display it here in numerous ways.

I have a good friend who takes Zoloft because he has OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and he said that the Zoloft really relaxes him.
I know this is a little off topic, but the other day he took a little more than what he was supposed to take and he was fucked up for half of the day. I thought he was high (he doesnt smoke weed). I was going to be like YES!!

Anways when you go to a therapist, (my friend goes to one) ask them if Zoloft would help you. Hope that you can get everything worked out and keep a smile on your face man!

Heh, I didn't even realize that many people here liked me. But damn, thankyou all so much! it's good to not feel like a social outcast everywhere.


Anywhoo, the last 3 or 4 days I've been adamentaly forcing myself to meditate, for periods longer than is comfortable, in an effort to force myself to examine the corners of my mind that I didnt' want to, and maybe more importantly to break out of a very bad perception I was trapped in. I gotta say my mind's been a whole lot healthier these last few days, actually at peace.

Now I'll admit I was thinking that since I'm stable, I won't even consider the therapy unless I start to relapse emotionally. But after reading your posts I realized that being in a healthy state of mind is probably the only time I will take the initiative to do it, so I will.

In fact I was talking to a doctor today (I rarely get to see this guy, but he's fantastic) and he told me about the greatest place I had no idea existed! It's a pain-management center that has physiotherapists, pain-specialist doctors, excercise rooms, meditation, yoga, I think tai-chi, and psychologists for talk therapy. It's exactly what I wanted, a facility that hits you with every approach.
Of course it's expensive as hell, and apparently it's mostly used by national sports teams and people that are very wealthy... BUT, if my college insurance covers this (which it probably should) my parents said they're willing to pay for the rest.

Plus the doctor gave me a referral to this one guy in town that's a physiatrist who apparently specializes in chronic pain management and uses some unique, alternative approaches (I don't know what yet). But it's a long waiting list, I'm probably look at a year and a half or so.

Anywhoo, one heck of a productive day and it's SO refreshing to find a really good doctor that actively looks for solutions, not just more painkillers. I mean to disrespect to doctors in general, but of the 12 or so doctors I've tried I've only found 2 guys that actively try to fix the problem. lol, I found them both by coincidence but it turns out they're good friends, and big fans of House, my favorite television show:thumbsup:

Oh, and one more thing! I feel like a big weight is off my shoulders since I'm getting out of business and now found a diploma program that focuses entirely on writing, anthropology, and sociology; 3 things I love and am good at!
Still some big issues to take care of in life, but I'm tackling them one at a time.

Again, thankyou all so much! I shall endeavor to be possitive and productive for myself and for those I know, including and especially you all here.

'night everybody:jointsmile:

Awww you made me all sniffly. I'm such a girl. Good luck to you!:thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by weedmant

Anways when you go to a therapist, (my friend goes to one) ask them if Zoloft would help you. Hope that you can get everything worked out and keep a smile on your face man!

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Since when do we (the patient) ask/tell our doctors what meds we want (thats what our dealers are for) our DOCTORS are supposed to tell US what meds we might need....you tell your doc what you want and he/she gives it, does that not make them a dealer??






Gandalf_The_Grey,

you mentioned "pain-managment" i am assuming physical pain...this i can relate to since a broken back left me a paraplegic
with horrible life long pain...(short version) i started with low level pain meds but now i use Fentanyl patches...my point being you MUST i repeat you MUST get that pain under control before all other problems or you will get nowhere..well you'll get right back where you are or maybe even deeper than you are now....
if you can't use anything i said i hope you find what you are looking for man....

I. grower

^you make Mrs. head hurt.

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Originally Posted by weedmant

I have a good friend who takes Zoloft because he has OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and he said that the Zoloft really relaxes him.

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The OP did not complain of OCD-like symptoms.

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Originally Posted by weedmant

I know this is a little off topic, but the other day he took a little more than what he was supposed to take and he was fucked up for half of the day. I thought he was high (he doesnt smoke weed). I was going to be like YES!!

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You should know our policy on discussion of perscription med abuse. If not, I will be happy to re-set your rules acceptance status and sned you the link.

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Originally Posted by weedmant

Anways when you go to a therapist, (my friend goes to one) ask them if Zoloft would help you.

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That's not how it works. You go to a therapist. He talks to you for a couple sessions, gets a feel for your troubles. He thinks about whether you need medication at all. IF he decides you do, he'll talk to you about it, and suggest a med that suits the symptoms that present.

Zoloft is a PRIMITIVE ssri. I was put on it by my PCP, a NP, not by a shrink, who mistook my symptoms for PMS... what a crock of SHIT. I've got severe anxiety. The Zoloft made it FAR worse. Like, panic attack worse. I went off it after getting arrested for assault.

It's irresponsible to suggest specific psych meds to someone when you know NOTHING about them, their application, or their side effects.

Most people are looking for connections in life, and that seems to be the main case with 1people who are troubled by anti-social tendencies within themselves.

We're all connected through similarities. The majority of the population has something wrong with them. I grew up in a family that has experienced all types of abuse:
drugs,
physical abuse,
mental abuse,
death,
divorce,
seperation....

And yet, I stand here, a young adult on his was to success. I experienced what a lot of people experience, and yet I end up like this? For a while I was angry with the fact that I could end up so... normal, above average if you will, and I had all this shit happen in my life. I say all this for rhetoric, I want you to see that there's a way to be stable after a life of instability.

You say you can barely explain the problem but yet you describe it fairly well, and this is what i've summed up from everything:

1. You're not entirely sure of what you want to do in life, but you think you have an idea, and the idea you first had isn't working out. So, you're trying something else but now you've got to deal with the problem of not wanting what you got yourself into originally.
2. You're upset over the fact that you can't make yourself do something when you obviously have the ability to do it, but you don't want to do it because you're sick of always doing things that are making you stressed out. And all this stress is making you emotional, but you don't understand your emotions because you are instable from stress. You say these worries go through your head 24/7, and that is probably your main issue. You don't know how to NOT worry, but it's ok, because humans often get lost in paradoxical thought processes. Infinity is a thing humans can't comprehend, and when we do something infinite or think something infinite, things become chaotic.
3. Fight or flight, this is a common term for panic attacks. It's where one must make a decision in a situation where they are in a panicked state. They don't understand how to deal with a situation so they try to escape or flee from the problem. And you are doing simply that. You say it's to take a break from reality, but what I believe to have learned is that reality is what you make of it. Have you ever tried to "step back" from yourself, and examined whatever it is that you're worrying about? When I feel that i'm getting to worked up and worried, I make myself stop, and step back from reality(if you will), and think about everything that's going on. I think about why i'm worrying, why does it all matter, why do I care, and why am I over analyzing things? In your situation, you say you're fearful of opening up to someone because you have no idea what to expect. Have you ever considered that you're not the only one who's felt whatever you are feeling, and you're not the only one who is having these problems? People aren't as critical as you think. I think you have it too embedded in your mind that something is wrong with you, when nothing is wrong at all.
4. You're afraid of being alone. Well, there's a lot of things, a lot of people, that are all alone. You just need to cope with the fact that there are times in your life you're going to be "alone", but do not worry, you have yourself! You must learn to love yourself, however stupid you think that sounds. You have to learn to tolerate yourself and accept yourself before you can even handle others. Now, why are you afraid of being alone? I would assume it's because you want the affection of another person. You want the emotion that comes from all the relationships in life. You're just going to have to make the effort of making the relationships.

And you should be asking yourself,
"what can I do to help myself?"
because how can someone else help you if you can't even help yourself?

I'm sorry Stinky. I should have done more reading first! I won't make this mistake again.