I CANNOT believe what I have done!

So I've been staying at my buddy's place for a few days and it's been really strange...so strange it led me to do something I would NEVER think of doing...EVER. What such strange event am I speaking of? Well you are about to find out...

Every morning, at 6:48 sharp, my buddy leaves the appartment.
From then, I have exactly 504 minutes to do whatever I please.

Today, about 90 of those minutes were unlike anything I've ever experienced in my whole life. It all started with a simple, soft knock on the door. I got up, walked, and opened the door to find an elderly, overweight lady standing before me. Her name is Marissa, the landlord, she said. Well Marissa sure seemed like a nice and innocent lady. Was I wrong, you think? Was Marissa really a nice, innocent lady? Yeah, she actually really was.

Anyway, so nice that Marissa and I started to bond quite a bit. This lady was fucking cool! She had been all over the world and had done some of the weirdest things I could ever imagine. She even told me about some weird "delicacies" she had eaten in her early years. Apparently, she was very active in her early years as well, doing all kinds of exciting physical activities. I started to think that Marissa must have been a hottie back then!

Odd thoughts and mixed feelings were floating in the air. There was something I wanted to share..., experience..., DO!, with her. Well guys, turns out she was thinking the same...

There was love, excitement, laughters, touching, tasting, smelling, rubbing, lighting, fire, oh man... Yes. We did it...isn't that crazy?! I NEVER thought I would ever do that.....

I smoked weed. :detective1:

So what crazy things have you guys done in your lives? Be sarcastic. :D

Im lost...Did you have sex with her? Or did she take your Mary J virginity? Or am i just completely off? :confused:

you my friend are a classic

Yeah the be sarcastic part at the end is kinda throwing me off so wait did it really happen hahaha.

I'm thinking they blazed. The "..." leads me to believe that the sentence wasn't finished, just drawn out for dramatic effect.

I think that having a relationship with an older woman may signify a maturity in life. For one to see the beauty in another persons spirit and experiences they must have past a point where they consider all beauty to be physical. lol I haven't really experiences such a thing in my life yet though. Also I am a bit confused, were the actions you described physical, or spiritual?

I was joking with this 73yr old man who works as a salesman at work today about selling a kidney on the black market. He's a cool guy actually and I want to toke with him. He has all kinds of crazy stories. I mean, pointless stuff too, but it's interesing. He told me this whole story about how the Allen Key wrench is just the Japanese ripoff of the Robinson bit. It had no meaning, at all! but it was an interesting story though.

Old people are cool. Not the grumpy ones though. They suck.

All I can think about is Grandma's Boy. Classic!!!

whatcha gon do if she comes back?

:s3:

rutrow

:rastabanna::rastabanna::rastabanna::rastabanna:

I gave a 63-year-old lady one of my steamrollers, then showed her how to smoke out of it, yesterday. She smokes for her appetite, not because she was hit in the head with a baseball bat.

Five times she slumped over (as she was already sitting Indian-style), her one eye slanted-upward slightly (baseball bat), and, looked at me to ask, "Now, what do you call this, again?"

I just don't see the sarcasm.

But, it's weird how we both met older ladies, recently. Except, I smoked with her while my girlfriend was beside me, with her dog.

mmmm..that must of been good, your saliva and hers intertwined and dancing..the show of love is amazing.

CaNaDanks Inc.- That story was told with expierence. you had me going... i knew you were a sneaky bastard! hahahahahahaha and your avatar is dope!

For anyone who is still conused! He blazed with her..... he didnt dip into her ham wallet.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TheGreatBenzino

CaNaDanks Inc.- That story was told with expierence. you had me going... i knew you were a sneaky bastard! hahahahahahaha and your avatar is dope!

For anyone who is still conused! He blazed with her..... he didnt dip into her ham wallet.

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Dont Listen!

CanaDanks nailed that old lady in the obeservatory with colonel mustard with a candle stick.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by geonagual

Dont Listen!

CanaDanks nailed that old lady in the obeservatory with colonel mustard with a candle stick.

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KK this is pissing me off! CaNaDanKs Inc. AND NOW Geonagual! I tried giving you BOTH rep points.... but i have to spread love around first before i can give you more!!! DAMMIT! both of your posts were WELL worth the read!

I think he started out smoking weed with her, then one thing led to another, and BAM, next thing he knew he was banging her!

Now every day at 6:48 it's 504 minutes of non-stop smoking and banging the elderly landlord lady! His buddy can't figure out why she keeps returning the rent check. "Don't worry son, I've been taking it out in trade," she says.

You think she had good stories before? Now she's got a great one! She's probably already telling the bridge club all about it. "Remember how I told you I went to India in '53 and rode a painted elepahnt? Well, these days I'm going to outer space and riding the stud in #203! I hope I don't break a hip!"

I think CanaDanks deserves credit for bridging that generation gap!

This thread cracks me up!!! LOLOLOL!!! :S2::S2::S2:

so....what really happened?

umm not my cup of tea but each to their own

Quote:

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Originally Posted by CanaDanKs Inc.

touching, tasting, smelling, rubbing, :D

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Does that answer any questions?

Dude... you fucked an elderly overweight lady? :wtf:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by friendowl

you my friend are a classic

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i second that.

Btw I forgot to ask.

Did she give Charlie Chaplain a handjob?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by CanaDanKs Inc.

So I've been staying at my buddy's place for a few days and it's been really strange...so strange it led me to do something I would NEVER think of doing...EVER. What such strange event am I speaking of? Well you are about to find out...

Every morning, at 6:48 sharp, my buddy leaves the appartment.
From then, I have exactly 504 minutes to do whatever I please.

Today, about 90 of those minutes were unlike anything I've ever experienced in my whole life. It all started with a simple, soft knock on the door. I got up, walked, and opened the door to find an elderly, overweight lady standing before me. Her name is Marissa, the landlord, she said. Well Marissa sure seemed like a nice and innocent lady. Was I wrong, you think? Was Marissa really a nice, innocent lady? Yeah, she actually really was.

Anyway, so nice that Marissa and I started to bond quite a bit. This lady was fucking cool! She had been all over the world and had done some of the weirdest things I could ever imagine. She even told me about some weird "delicacies" she had eaten in her early years. Apparently, she was very active in her early years as well, doing all kinds of exciting physical activities. I started to think that Marissa must have been a hottie back then!

Odd thoughts and mixed feelings were floating in the air. There was something I wanted to share..., experience..., DO!, with her. Well guys, turns out she was thinking the same...

There was love, excitement, laughters, touching, tasting, smelling, rubbing, lighting, fire, oh man... Yes. We did it...isn't that crazy?! I NEVER thought I would ever do that.....

I smoked weed. :detective1:

So what crazy things have you guys done in your lives? Be sarcastic. :D

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Daaammmnnn! You hit her with a classic Cougar takedown!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NteeM

Dude... you fucked an elderly overweight lady? :wtf:

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You got it right...ole Cana had great fun with this lady..they shared stories of adventure and maybe even more promiscuous activites:D After the foreplay of such great talk, they proceeded to get down to business and knock it out.:jointsmile: Peace:hippy:

Overheard in line at the Walgreens pharmacy ...

Gladys: So I heard you've been getting the old pipes cleaned by that boy on the second floor of your building?

Marissa: Oh, my word, yes! Every day after his roommate leaves I go up there and we go at it like you wouldn't believe! We take five hits each off his bong, five hits each off my oxygen tank, then he bends me over the walker and just goes to town!

Gladys: Good Lord! Are you sure you can handle that at your age?

Marissa: Well, I think my heart did stop for a second yesterday, but the pacemaker kicked right in without a hitch.

Gladys: You dirty old bird! Have you ever done anything like this before?

Marissa: Well, the last time was when I toured with the Beatles in '68. Of course, I was old enough to be their grandmother at the time, but I had an open mind and my boobs were still well above my knees back then, so they were happy to have me around. Smoking with Ringo was fun because he was such a goof, but John was the horny one and used to plow my strawberry fields forever. I'll never forgive Yoko for coming between us.

Gladys: You've had quite a life!

Marissa: Oh, I've always had a bit of a wild streak. When I was a WAC during The War, they named a bomber after me and painted a pinup of me on the side. Good Time Marissa they called it. They said if I was ever shot down over water, five flyboys could use my bazooms for flotation. We gave that one a try over dry land more than once, and I tell you I had more than five on my boobs many a time!

Gladys: Well, everyone screwed like crazy during The War, but what about the reefer?

Marissa: Of course you couldn't get any good reefer during The War. All the hemp was diverted for rope for the war effort, except for a small stash of killer chronic kept aside for Roosevelt and Churchill's private "strategy sessions."

Gladys: That's too bad. If there is any time you need weed it's during a war.

Marissa: The last war I saw where there was still good weed was the Crimean, and let me tell you something, you have not lived until you've gotten totally baked off Crimean Red and then screwed silly on horseback by a band of horny Cossacks!

Gladys: Cossacks can be rough, can't they?

Marissa: Oh yes! But I was young back then and liked it a little rough. These days, with the arthritis, horseback Cossack screwing is out.

Gladys: Yes, but age does have its benefits, doesn't it?

Marissa: Absolutely! The new boy loves it when I take my teeth out and go down on him.

Gladys: Before my dear old Bill passed, he said I gave great handjobs, what with my palsy tremors and all. Do you think your new boy would like that?

Marissa: I certainly do! Do you want to surprise him with a threesome?

Gladys: As long as he has some good herb!

Marissa: Ok, then! Let me check my blood sugar and we'll take the dial-a-ride over there right now!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by CanaDanKs Inc.

So I've been staying at my buddy's place for a few days and it's been really strange...so strange it led me to do something I would NEVER think of doing...EVER. What such strange event am I speaking of? Well you are about to find out...

Every morning, at 6:48 sharp, my buddy leaves the appartment.
From then, I have exactly 504 minutes to do whatever I please.

Today, about 90 of those minutes were unlike anything I've ever experienced in my whole life. It all started with a simple, soft knock on the door. I got up, walked, and opened the door to find an elderly, overweight lady standing before me. Her name is Marissa, the landlord, she said. Well Marissa sure seemed like a nice and innocent lady. Was I wrong, you think? Was Marissa really a nice, innocent lady? Yeah, she actually really was.

Anyway, so nice that Marissa and I started to bond quite a bit. This lady was fucking cool! She had been all over the world and had done some of the weirdest things I could ever imagine. She even told me about some weird "delicacies" she had eaten in her early years. Apparently, she was very active in her early years as well, doing all kinds of exciting physical activities. I started to think that Marissa must have been a hottie back then!

Odd thoughts and mixed feelings were floating in the air. There was something I wanted to share..., experience..., DO!, with her. Well guys, turns out she was thinking the same...

There was love, excitement, laughters, touching, tasting, smelling, rubbing, lighting, fire, oh man... Yes. We did it...isn't that crazy?! I NEVER thought I would ever do that.....

I smoked weed. :detective1:

So what crazy things have you guys done in your lives? Be sarcastic. :D

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Is anyone else thinking what im thinking....?

SHALLOW HAL!

Haha I love this thread.

He never got back to us to tell us what really happened...

i know 'age is just a number'... but i just can't wrap my mind around this one lol.....

"All the hemp was diverted for rope for the war effort, except for a small stash of killer chronic kept aside for Roosevelt and Churchill's private "strategy sessions.""

Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahha hahhaha:rastasmoke::rastasmoke::D

WOW! ummmm...... Im just lost for words right now. That old lady better been hot.

I say, this thread will stay in confusion forever:thumbsup:

LOL this thread is too funny! :) I'm guessin he just smoked up with her, but who knows what will happen the next time, sounds like a little spark was lit between them LOL