confusing new relationship HELP

ok so since i was banned :mad: i couldnt ask all of you for advice, and it sucks not being able to tell my friends about this guy. so yay i finalyl can now
so about 2 weeks ago this crazy drunk girl was over my place and invited this guy over. i thought she liked him, and she used to hook up with him. she passed out cold so we had her sister come get her. she left. me and this guy had sex right away, because well i just broke up with my bf and this guy was too good to be true. the bottle of lemon bacardi didnt help either. he has every quality i have been looking for. besides his extreme ego (which he does have things to back it up with at least).
so i was real happy i met him becase he is older (i have a thing for older guys) really succesful, nice, well traveled, smokes delicious pot and almost as much as me!, and he is a old school mannered guy - opened car doors and shit which is real sweet and im not used to it. he even took me out to dinner. i have dated guys for eyars who never once took me out. all we did was sit aruond with there frineds and get high. its nice to go on a date for a change. but stillget high lol :thumbsup:
but the next day when that alcholic girl (lets call her A) found out she told me to stay away. he is 28 im 18, she said he will tell me he wants a relationship with me. and bullshit me a lot. that he is a sleezebag and a creep and will use me as long as i let him.
this really worried me because i have been used A LOT in the past, and i fall for stuff easily.
she was right, he keeps telling me he wants a relationship and stuff. just not yet. i mean we did just meet.
ive spent a good amount of time with him lately. and i really really like him
should i listen to my friend and stay away??????? or should i just try and figure him out on my own???
because i mean people talk shit on me, and althoguh its true sometimes, it doesnt make me a bad person. and whats so wrong about only liking young girls? and by young imean early 20's and older teens. soem guys only like girls with blonde hair. and wouldnt most guys want a younger woman?

other delemma. my ex - who thinks that we will be back together wen hes home next summer because we always get back together, but i dont want to be with him anymore i dont think. has been trying for weeks to come see me. he finally got a ride. planning to come here. the new guy says he wont talk to me if he sleeps at my place.
i dont have the heart to tell my ex not to come, even thoguh i told him ive been seeing someone.
and i dont want to loose this guy. should i just lie to him? id feel wrong doing that, but a white lie cuoldnt hurt right?
so confusedddddddddddddd

if your 18 and he's 28 hes going to take serious advantage of you
if you want the upper hand in the relationship take control now
dont lie cuz that shit always looks bad when it comes back and it will
just be straight out and tell peopel how things will be you control the situation
you gotta understand from a guys point that maybe this new guy likes you
or whatever but he knows that your ex and you will probobly fuck or atleast he will try
and no guy wants those thoughts going thru their head

ty friendowl.
how would i go about taking control?

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Originally Posted by 420MissHighTimes420

ok so since i was banned :mad: i couldnt ask all of you for advice,

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Drop it. I've already deleted ONE of these threads. Bans aren't handed out for no reason.

On the topic, this sounds skeezy... 'we had sex right away' does not sound like a proper beginning to a relationship, particularly with a guy you JUST met, who is 10 years older than you are. I think you already know the answer to your own question.

It sounds like he's a player.

If you feel he has an extreme ego, that would be the first clue that he might not put you first. He's already placed himself in front of someone you know very well.

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Originally Posted by stinkyattic

Drop it. I've already deleted ONE of these threads. Bans aren't handed out for no reason.

On the topic, this sounds skeezy... 'we had sex right away' does not sound like a proper beginning to a relationship, particularly with a guy you JUST met, who is 10 years older than you are. I think you already know the answer to your own question.

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yeah i know the first night thing was bad. but ive actually gotten to know him pretty well. and we have less sex than in most of my other relationships, he actually takes me out. i realize the age difference seems sleezy, which is why i wanted others opinons on it. althoguht i find myself beign very very very attracted to men evern in there 50's. plus ive never had such good sex in my life. hes done stuff to me i never knew i would love. i really do not no the answer, im very torn.

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Originally Posted by beachguy in thongs

If you feel he has an extreme ego, that would be the first clue that he might not put you first. He's already placed himself in front of someone you know very well.

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good point

Damn girl. Either pull some dominatrix shit on him right now or leave. He's going to control you, he's going to treat you like a possession, he's going to fuck you and chuck you, eventually.

You started off the relationship wrong. Good relationships don't start with sex, it's possible, but for the most part they don't.

He's way too old for you, and this is coming from a girl who likes older men as well. He's almost thirty... and you just got out of high school (or are still in it). Don't you think there's something wrong with that? Yeah, some guys like blonds, that's a physical attribute. Age matters up until a certain point in life and trust me, honey..you're not there yet. You're a little girl and he's a full grown man, as attractive as that is, you're putting yourself in a horrible position. I was there when I was younger, luckily I've learned from that huge mistake. You can either take this as a learning experience with good sex, fun and pot...or you can throw yourself at this boy (I say boy because no man would do this) and get emotionally fucked.

On the other hand, you can date him and fuck with him emotionally. Find his weak spots, fuck with his head, fuck with his heart, give him blue balls, ect.

Either way, you basically lose.

(Sorry for being so blunt.)

^^ty i much much appriciate your bluntness

Im aware im immature with a lot of things But in a lot of ways Im very mature for my age. and he has seen that side of me. i live alone, pay the rent, have a job, i have 0 support from my parents, i have been all over the world, and have met a lot of people, and i have a lot to takl about with him. so its more than sex.

but damn i do need to either pull some dominatrix shit, i cant keep making excuses, i always do for men, he will pry fuck with my head. as much experience ive had with guys its never been good ones. hes been in a lot of relationships and told me that his last gf threateneded to kill her self if they ever broke up. and i can see how that would happen. hes promiced me the world. and just because he has the money to give it to me doesnt mean he will. im not into him for his money just want to poitnt hat out. but i can see him dragging me along.
my first instinct was to stay away and i should go with that.
thanks agian everyone for helping me.










even though im probably going to stay with him being well aware i shouldnt!

Out of the frying pan...
...Into the fire.

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Originally Posted by 420MissHighTimes420

^^ty i much much appriciate your bluntness

Im aware im immature with a lot of things But in a lot of ways Im very mature for my age. and he has seen that side of me. i live alone, pay the rent, have a job, i have 0 support from my parents, i have been all over the world, and have met a lot of people, and i have a lot to takl about with him. so its more than sex.

but damn i do need to either pull some dominatrix shit, i cant keep making excuses, i always do for men, he will pry fuck with my head. as much experience ive had with guys its never been good ones. hes been in a lot of relationships and told me that his last gf threateneded to kill her self if they ever broke up. and i can see how that would happen. hes promiced me the world. and just because he has the money to give it to me doesnt mean he will. im not into him for his money just want to poitnt hat out. but i can see him dragging me along.
my first instinct was to stay away and i should go with that.
thanks agian everyone for helping me.










even though im probably going to stay with him being well aware i shouldnt!

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Just because you have the responsibilities of an adult, just because you know a lot of people, been a lot of places, FEEL more mature than others..doesn't make you grown. You're still a little girl, and a little girl who's gonna get her heart broken by a full grown man.

Don't come back here and bitch because I'll be the first to say "I told you so"


Why ask for advice if you aren't going to take it?

Good luck in life, dear.

huge ego, 10 years older, like a dream, warning from friend, start with sex

5 big warning signs. I'd think even 3 would be enough to say he's probably gonna screw you over.

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Originally Posted by stars stars stars

Just because you have the responsibilities of an adult, just because you know a lot of people, been a lot of places, FEEL more mature than others..doesn't make you grown. You're still a little girl, and a little girl who's gonna get her heart broken by a full grown man.

Don't come back here and bitch because I'll be the first to say "I told you so"


Why ask for advice if you aren't going to take it?

Good luck in life, dear.

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i know i can be really imature, i just tryed to hide it from him i guess, because we do get along and have good conversations.

i ask for advice because i was really confused. and i want to take it. i really do, but when ive found someone who i actally like its real hard for me to let them go. even if i know i should, whichi s soemthing ireally need to work on. i always say im going to take advice and do what i know is best for me, but im just lieing to myself.


and yeah im going to need that good luck because im obviously a stupid slut.

Oh alcohol, the cause AND solution to all of life's problems.

I don't see this thread ending well. That last comment sealed the deal.

This 'relationship' is NOT going to end well either. T
ake it from someone who has been there.

And oddly enough, I had a long sit-down last night wiht one of my closest male friends who was having a guilt attack because he was starting to think that HE was doing the same thing, and I told him the honorable thing is simply to end it and cease all communication with the 18 year old girl- not woman, GIRL- in question, who I have a great amount of respect for personally. She's old beyond her years but that doesn't mean she doesn't have the emotional issues of a teenager still.
Look at yourself honestly. Look at HIM honestly- trust me, older guys who are worth dating are looking for a mature woman who is a potential partner. Not to be cruel, but he almost certainly looks at what he's got going on with you not as a relationship at all, but as a fling.

Do what you want. I could tell you, "Be careful and protect yourself". But the only way to do either of those things is NOT to put yourself in situations where there is an imbalance of power. And this one is WAY outta whack.

Oh- and providing a minor with a 'bottle of lemon bacardi'- and then having sex with her- that's simply disgusting. Shame on him.

Ya find assholes in every group. Personally....I'm 45 and my LADY is 24. We have the same taste in music, movies, foods, long rides on the scoot, MANY other activities.......she doesn't toke but also doesn't mind that I do. :thumbsup:

Kind of nice to have a lady that isn't out to burn up my stash or my wallet..........I do spoil her though and likewise, she spoils me.

Have a good one!:jointsmile:

lol, i see this as another victory for a player.

play on brother, play on

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Originally Posted by stinkyattic

I don't see this thread ending well. That last comment sealed the deal.

This 'relationship' is NOT going to end well either. T
ake it from someone who has been there.

And oddly enough, I had a long sit-down last night wiht one of my closest male friends who was having a guilt attack because he was starting to think that HE was doing the same thing, and I told him the honorable thing is simply to end it and cease all communication with the 18 year old girl- not woman, GIRL- in question, who I have a great amount of respect for personally. She's old beyond her years but that doesn't mean she doesn't have the emotional issues of a teenager still.
Look at yourself honestly. Look at HIM honestly- trust me, older guys who are worth dating are looking for a mature woman who is a potential partner. Not to be cruel, but he almost certainly looks at what he's got going on with you not as a relationship at all, but as a fling.

Do what you want. I could tell you, "Be careful and protect yourself". But the only way to do either of those things is NOT to put yourself in situations where there is an imbalance of power. And this one is WAY outta whack.

Oh- and providing a minor with a 'bottle of lemon bacardi'- and then having sex with her- that's simply disgusting. Shame on him.

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first I bought that bottle. I have a bar in my apartment he comes over and drinks there. I drink his stuff too, but he actually didnt let me drink last time I hung out with him because he was tired of seeing me wasted all the time.

and what makes someone mature anways? If we can have good long conversations with each other isn't that ok? Hes not the most 'mature' guy himself. I dont feel like I have to play grown up with him.


This thread is stupid. delete it if you want.
im messed up thats the point. im so confused im goign insane. ive been with another older guy who was 36, I was 17. i caught him and his wife out to lunch after we 'broke up' he told me i was supposed to be a one night stand. ive been with abusers, and useres, and i dont no how to end this shit.


im sorry i need to vent, as Ive lost all my friends, to either jail or college, or 'I'm jst too far to visit' which I guess this is why Im so into him.

maybe im just way over my head. maybe moving out so soon was dumb. ive given myself hives im so stressed out.

sorry for being such an as on this thread.

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Originally Posted by HighTillIDie

lol, i see this as another victory for a player.

play on brother, play on

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Call it what you want but as for me it's not being the "player"......been there done that and it got real boring and dangerous.

When your sitting in a bar and a congregation of ladies that you've "been with" gather around ya it's real scary!!! I had visions of John Bobbit running through my head till I ran out the door.;)

Have a good one!:jointsmile:

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Originally Posted by 420MissHighTimes420

me wasted all the time.

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This may actually be the root of the problem...
Stick with weed. :jointsmile:

^^tell me about it! i never used to drink a lot, 2 maye 3 times a week. i need to put my id away for a little while. ever since i got that, and ive been living alone, and im depressed, the bottles are always there so its tough.
drinking is stupid when you binge like me.

haha if i was someone reading this i would be thinking to myself 'what an ass'
i need to grow up

edit : and stop lieing to myself

my appologies for being so annoying with this

Alcohol helps you make stupid decisions/choices.

Just a heads up........this is a WEED site not the life styles of the drunk and stupid.

Have a good one!:jointsmile:

^^my bad I really dont need to break anymore rules. i thought that was ok. im going to go read the rules its been awhile since i have and that would proably be a good idea.

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Originally Posted by psteve

This may actually be the root of the problem...
Stick with weed. :jointsmile:

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Agreed. I think the main issue here is making poor choices personally, rather than a relationship issue.

When I was in college, I was dating a 40 year old. For YEARS. It was a nice relationship- he was never ANYTHING but respectful to me- but looking back, I know that the relationship may have been fine, but my reasons for being in it WEREN'T.

When my parents got divorced when I was 5, my mother moved the family far away from my father, and I always had the feeling, however illogical, that he had abandoned us.

As an adult, with 10 years' perspective on that time in my life I can say that I was NOT in a healthy place emotionally and REALLY should have been talking to a therapist THEN, rather than waiting until now to do it. I was stubborn and was like, 'what the hell, I'm having a good time', without looking honestly at WHY I was attracted to older men to begin with.

In the long run, that relationship hurt me in pretty serious ways- from beating myself up over having fallen into the father-figure trap knowing I'm too smart for that, to always looking for men with whom I CAN'T have a real relationship because that was the precedent I set myself in my teens, to being depressed over having wasted all that time when my friends were having meaningful relationships with guys their own age, to whom they are now married and stable, and here's me, struggling to pay a mortgage on a single salary, single, and going, SHIT. Dating isn't all that much fun in your 30s.

May I also venture that fellas like P4B are hard to come by. [Psycho, you may feel free to edit, rearrange, and read in whatever puns you like into that statement :D] And that there's a WORLD of difference between 18 and 24.

Your just being used as a snot-rag. Alcohol and sex "as soon as she left", these speak louder than any words. Have you ever heard of self respect? This sex before relationship thing is just stupid. I know you don't want to hear this, but you started it. Now you want the mods to delete this thread. A bimbo is a bimbo is a bimbo. What would you think if you read about another 18yo. girl doing this? If you are really seeking advice why are you arguing? Damn, my eyes hurt. Nothing about this will end well.

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Originally Posted by stinkyattic

May I also venture that fellas like P4B are hard to come by. [Psycho, you may feel free to edit, rearrange, and read in whatever puns you like into that statement :D] And that there's a WORLD of difference between 18 and 24.

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Thanks much and I do agree.......them 6 years do make a big difference! 18 your just happy to be out of school while by 24 your actually looking ahead for the future.

Have a good one!:jointsmile:

Well p4b I'm not just fluffin' yer muffin either.
It's what I was talking about to my guy friend with the young girlfriend- You have to be a certain ethical, cautious, respectful, and above all, caring individual to even consider going out with someone who looks up to you in such a profound way.
It is so easy to take advantage of.

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Originally Posted by qdavid

Your just being used as a snot-rag. Alcohol and sex "as soon as she left", these speak louder than any words. Have you ever heard of self respect? This sex before relationship thing is just stupid. I know you don't want to hear this, but you started it. Now you want the mods to delete this thread. A bimbo is a bimbo is a bimbo. What would you think if you read about another 18yo. girl doing this? If you are really seeking advice why are you arguing? Damn, my eyes hurt. Nothing about this will end well.

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i said i know what i did was wrong, im aware im a bimbo. im like this for a reason, and im real sensitive, so thanks i get it