5 year relationship over?

hey everyone...i'm not sure i am looking for any advice, although i have received nothing but good advice on this forum. I think i am just looking to vent, and maybe get some opinions of other people who have been in a long term relationship before. i've been with my girl for five years now. we met when i lived on the east coast, and about 3 years ago, we moved out west together. by the way, we are both 25. things were going pretty well until probably the last year or so. my girl just seems like a different person than the one i met. it seems like i can hardly stand to be around her anymore. we never do anything fun together anymore. i try to be pleasent around her, and she always finds a way to be a bitch about something. she nags at me for every little thing she can, and i try to please her, but it's never enough. as far as our sex life, it's a complete joke. it was great for the first year or so, but its gone progressively downhill since, and now its to the point where i don't even have fun anymore (and i'm a sex fiend!). she never gives oral, she never initiates sex, she hasn't been horny in a couple of years. i hope i don't sound shallow, the sex thing isn't the only reason i am unsatisfied, its just a big part of it. i still love her and i am afraid if i break up with her it will be a huge mistake, but i don't know what else to do. i'm just lacking the passion that was once there, and i feel like she doesn't have any passion for me at all. it has gotten to the point where i have even considered having sex with another girl, and i have been looking on the craigslist personals, just to see if that would give me the motivation to end this relationship. i doubt i will simply because i don't know any other girls anymore, and i am a pussy.:angelsmiley: oh well, sorry to take up so much space everyone, just wanted to vent!

are yal around each other pretty much all day?

maybe it's as simple as needing a break from each other, followed by some heart-felt talks about what this relationship means to both of you, where you want it to go, and where you want your life to go.

i've been married to my wife for coming up on 4 years now (although we've been together before for nearly a year, and known each other for about 9 years now) we don't really have sex that much either, but (as far as i know) it's more of a mutual thing. i don't know why, but over the past year or so my sexual drive has just became next to non-existant...

but you don't seem to be that way, any reason why she doesn't want sex? i mean have you actually asked her past "i'm not in the mood"? are you close in other ways? in my years of marriage i've noticed one thing, and that is that two things usually lead to sex... really big fights, or spending alot fo close time (watching movies, snuggling etc)... perhaps you just need to warm her up first, so to speak? have you tried?

what are all the reasons you are not happy with the relationship (you said it's not just sex, btw, get used to the nagging thing... it's gonna happen with pretty much anyone :p atleast in my experience) are the things that make you unhappy, fixable?

any route you choose, should start with both of yal sitting down and talking, tho.

i can almost garuntee even if you decide to split up, even if both of you decide it's for the best, it will feel like a mistake at first, since the two of you have been together for so long. which is really why you need to sit down and talk to her about it. a relationship just doesn't happen, you have to work at it and make it work, but if both parties aren't ready to do so, the relationship is pointless, IMHO.

I think you 2 are done..finish...over...but that is just my opinion..Good luck

Communication is the key. Sit her down and tell her how you fell, and ask her what she thinks the future holds for you to as a couple. Also try doing something spontaneous or crazy, where you two can actually get some good bonding going and respark the flame.

Well man, you talk to her, and you tell her how you feel. Sex is a huge part of a relationship, and it's true that one can't exist without a healthy sex life. So, talk to her about everything, and if it doesn't work.. Well then, I suggest moving on.

That being said, toke up, and good luck.

Sounds like you're married without the honeymoon

once again i appreciate all the words of wisdom i get on here...yeah my girl is in florida right now, visiting her family. i'm hoping this week apart will help things out a lot. i'm definitely going to sit her down for a serious talk though when she gets back. that is the only solution i can see right now to our problems. if we can't work them out, then we are done. i can't waste any more of my life not being with someone i am truly happy with. its just going to be so hard though if we do break up because we have so much stuff together. we have 2 cats, one dog, a bunch of furniture and appliances. all of that stuff is both of ours. i guess i should just worry about trying to fix our relationship first huh?

For five years, I dated a girl, and, lived with her for a year after we decided it was over. We noticed it at about Year Two to Three. Finally, after Four, we agreed that we have nothing left to talk about. This, coincidentally, was when she quit smoking herb. After Five, we stopped having sex, everyday. After Six, I picked up and moved 1000 miles, but, we are still close.

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Originally Posted by beachguy in thongs

For five years, I dated a girl, and, lived with her for a year after we decided it was over. We noticed it at about Year Two to Three. Finally, after Four, we agreed that we have nothing left to talk about. This, coincidentally, was when she quit smoking herb. After Five, we stopped having sex, everyday. After Six, I picked up and moved 1000 miles, but, we are still close.

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so how did you break up with her? did you just sit her down and drop it on her? how did it feel to be alone after being with someone for that long? i think i am more nervous about being alone than anything else.

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Originally Posted by IThinkIamFeelingit

I think you 2 are done..finish...over...but that is just my opinion..Good luck

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im with u on this one when girls start actin like that most of the time it's because her mind is someplace else and have moved on in there minds and just waitin for the right time or right sumbody to come along

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Originally Posted by jacked420

so how did you break up with her? did you just sit her down and drop it on her? how did it feel to be alone after being with someone for that long? i think i am more nervous about being alone than anything else.

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it's real hard it's like ur life has ended depends on u can take up to a year to really move on.that was ur life for so long and if u have kids together it's that much harder so just know thats once u get ur head clear ur gonna be like wtf was i waitin for damn lol

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Originally Posted by jacked420

once again i appreciate all the words of wisdom i get on here...yeah my girl is in florida right now, visiting her family. i'm hoping this week apart will help things out a lot. i'm definitely going to sit her down for a serious talk though when she gets back. that is the only solution i can see right now to our problems. if we can't work them out, then we are done. i can't waste any more of my life not being with someone i am truly happy with. its just going to be so hard though if we do break up because we have so much stuff together. we have 2 cats, one dog, a bunch of furniture and appliances. all of that stuff is both of ours. i guess i should just worry about trying to fix our relationship first huh?

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first off if u and her are havin problems u can bet ur ass she's not saying anything good about u to her folks and they are gonna only hear her side of things and that will only make them side with her and thats gonna spark there thoughts on u and her to help back up what she already feels inside u get the picture...

ps when a couple is having trouble with there relationship, the worst thing u can do is tell family, as they will always have to put there 2 cents in. and sometimes it's not what u want to hear as ur not over that person, and it might work out but yours/her family don't know that person the way u do, and most of the time they only hear yours/her side of things. and that puts a neg image on that other person. and if u do end up working it out ur family don't respond well to it. u get the drift

her family already doesn't like me that much anyways!:) luckily we don't have any kids together, but we do have pets, and they are basically just like kids. she gets home tomorrow, and we are definitely going to have a very long discussion. hopefully she is willing to work on some things, or our future isn't looking too bright.

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Originally Posted by jacked420

so how did you break up with her? did you just sit her down and drop it on her? how did it feel to be alone after being with someone for that long? i think i am more nervous about being alone than anything else.

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We decided, together, to move on. We stayed roommates until I met someone else, because I can't afford to live on my own. The loneliness was filled with the pursuit of another girl.

That's why you have to be best friends with women.

Hey buddy, key words, "I am a pussy." Yours not mine. I was in a long term relationship with an absolute bitch. Four years (18-22). Why did I stay with her? Because I was a pussy. I was a coward, too afraid to be alone, to be without a girlfriend. (The first three years of high school, I only had one girlfriend, and for six weeks. I was very insecure.)

It was very painful to break up with her. I cried for six months, which is when she got married, then I refused to cry, and moved on.

I learned to be independent instead of codependent. I learned how to be confident without being an asshole.

Ugh, that girl was such a selfish bitch, but I didn't realize it at the time.

Once you learn how not to be a pussy, a lot more girls will be attracted to you. Here is some unsolicited advice.

-Stand and sit up straight, and stick your chest out a little. If you have bad posture, you will probably feel like you are thrusting your chest out, but you are probably just sitting up straight.

-Speak from your gut, instead of your nose.

-Get contacts.

-trim your facial hair or shave.

-Pay for a nicer haircut.

-Wear cologne.

-Dress up when you go out.

-Smile and look people in the eye when you talk to them.

If you do this, and she doesn't like it, you will still get more attention from girls.

Be more confident.



-Tell her that you want to fuck her. You love fucking her. She turns you on. If that doesn't work, I would just say dump her. Sex is a big part of a relationship. You aren't married, and you don't have kids. You are young. If the sex sucks, and has been sucking, a lot of guys would've dumped her by now. But, try just being up front, and tell her you want to fuck her. But, if she doesn't give you head... ah just dump her.

Just my opinion

it's hard to let go of steady pussy, i know it's hard but when steady becomes not so steady or it's such a hassle to even bring it up then she is not in the relationship like u r. she's in a diffrent place in her head, and is just waitin for the next paycheck to come along to get her out of there.i'd give her a chance and talk to her 1 time not bring it up every time but 1 time and lay it all out there and see how she responds.and btw girls don't like u harping on shit but u harp because she's holding something in and u know it and when that happens the best thing is to get out while u still have ur balls. if she don't leap into ur arms and seems happy u talked about it then dump her quick my guess she will be a lil stand offish as in she don't want to open up about anything im guessing someone else is is hittin it as she would be wanting sex at some point. i know girls can do without it longer than guys but to not want it at all somethings up u can believe that.and if she loved u she would want to be makin u happy not shutin u down every time just remember that.

ps a woman can make or break a man a good, loving, kind, woman that wants to make u happy will lift ur spirit up and make u want to do better a woman that is'nt 100% for u will only bring u down and will kill ur spirit so remember this when lookin for a mate

so my girl got back from a week in Florida a couple nights ago...and now she is like a completely different person. she has been nothing but pleasent, super sweet, and even pretty horny. this really throws a monkey wrench into my plans. i know i still need to sit her down and explain to her that our relationship is in trouble, but it's going to be hard if she keeps acting like this...i guess i just have to wait for the first time she starts being a bitch again huh?

woman are impossible to figure out...

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Originally Posted by jacked420

so my girl got back from a week in Florida a couple nights ago...and now she is like a completely different person. she has been nothing but pleasent, super sweet, and even pretty horny. this really throws a monkey wrench into my plans. i know i still need to sit her down and explain to her that our relationship is in trouble, but it's going to be hard if she keeps acting like this...i guess i just have to wait for the first time she starts being a bitch again huh?

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seems like what i said is the problem... yal just needed a break from each other...

and no i wouldn't do it when it first starts... i'd wait til it hit the point it was at before she left... since basicly everythings changed now to how you wanted it... why ruin a good thing...

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Originally Posted by slipknotpsycho

seems like what i said is the problem... yal just needed a break from each other...

and no i wouldn't do it when it first starts... i'd wait til it hit the point it was at before she left... since basicly everythings changed now to how you wanted it... why ruin a good thing...

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yeah thanks a lot man, you've definitely posted some good advice on here for me, and i appreciate it...i think i will do what you said. these last couple days have been great, we haven't gotten along this well in a very long time...but if things even begin to look sour again, i am not hesitating this time to take some action...

Don't waste any more time, you're young and it doesn't last long. You're not doing yourself or her any favors :thumbsup:by hanging on for whatever reason

Don't waste any more time, you're young and it doesn't last long. You're not doing yourself or her any favors :by hanging on for whatever reason:thumbsup:

You two have gone from being like bread and butter to oysters and chill lol its over man move on, plenty of oyster in sea ;)

what he said^^ lol it's funny sum people but anyways if u think it's gonna last don't hold ur breath as even from alil time off like it was said above and it's all better well that will last....about a week or 2 that is. but i know it's hard to let go of steady pussy even if it's not there all the time at least u know where it's at but you'll see it won't last and as slip said all u needed was a break from each other then be ready to "take a break"every other week lol

I think that everyone here agrees that you have decisions to make. This one will effect life.

I feel ya. I made a decision to take a two week break. That was 15 years ago and there isnt a day.....

The real question here is...do you love her?

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Originally Posted by katacus

The real question here is...do you love her?

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not really most guy love the girl there with but does that stop her from being a bitch..no most of the time it make them treat u worse. and no im not talking about a decent girl im talking about a girl thats raised to believe that there here to be taken care of by everyone else. i ? is if u love her and she continues to keep treatin u like shit how long are u gonna live with that shit b4 u grow a pair and live ur life by ur rules not theres

well we had a long talk, and we decided we want to try and salvage this relationship; but i am moving out of our apartment, and i am going to live by myself for a while...we'll see how things go, i'm having a hell of a time finding a small place i can afford!

So, it's either the beginning of the end, or, the start of a new beginning.