5 year relationship over?

[jacked420]

hey everyone...i'm not sure i am looking for any advice, although i have received nothing but good advice on this forum. I think i am just looking to vent, and maybe get some opinions of other people who have been in a long term relationship before. i've been with my girl for five years now. we met when i lived on the east coast, and about 3 years ago, we moved out west together. by the way, we are both 25. things were going pretty well until probably the last year or so. my girl just seems like a different person than the one i met. it seems like i can hardly stand to be around her anymore. we never do anything fun together anymore. i try to be pleasent around her, and she always finds a way to be a bitch about something. she nags at me for every little thing she can, and i try to please her, but it's never enough. as far as our sex life, it's a complete joke. it was great for the first year or so, but its gone progressively downhill since, and now its to the point where i don't even have fun anymore (and i'm a sex fiend!). she never gives oral, she never initiates sex, she hasn't been horny in a couple of years. i hope i don't sound shallow, the sex thing isn't the only reason i am unsatisfied, its just a big part of it. i still love her and i am afraid if i break up with her it will be a huge mistake, but i don't know what else to do. i'm just lacking the passion that was once there, and i feel like she doesn't have any passion for me at all. it has gotten to the point where i have even considered having sex with another girl, and i have been looking on the craigslist personals, just to see if that would give me the motivation to end this relationship. i doubt i will simply because i don't know any other girls anymore, and i am a pussy.:angelsmiley: oh well, sorry to take up so much space everyone, just wanted to vent!

jacked420 Reviewed by jacked420 on 09-03-2007. 5 year relationship over? hey everyone...i'm not sure i am looking for any advice, although i have received nothing but good advice on this forum. I think i am just looking to vent, and maybe get some opinions of other people who have been in a long term relationship before. i've been with my girl for five years now. we met when i lived on the east coast, and about 3 years ago, we moved out west together. by the way, we are both 25. things were going pretty well until probably the last year or so. my girl just Rating: 5

[slipknotpsycho]

are yal around each other pretty much all day?

maybe it's as simple as needing a break from each other, followed by some heart-felt talks about what this relationship means to both of you, where you want it to go, and where you want your life to go.

i've been married to my wife for coming up on 4 years now (although we've been together before for nearly a year, and known each other for about 9 years now) we don't really have sex that much either, but (as far as i know) it's more of a mutual thing. i don't know why, but over the past year or so my sexual drive has just became next to non-existant...

but you don't seem to be that way, any reason why she doesn't want sex? i mean have you actually asked her past "i'm not in the mood"? are you close in other ways? in my years of marriage i've noticed one thing, and that is that two things usually lead to sex... really big fights, or spending alot fo close time (watching movies, snuggling etc)... perhaps you just need to warm her up first, so to speak? have you tried?

what are all the reasons you are not happy with the relationship (you said it's not just sex, btw, get used to the nagging thing... it's gonna happen with pretty much anyone atleast in my experience) are the things that make you unhappy, fixable?

any route you choose, should start with both of yal sitting down and talking, tho.

i can almost garuntee even if you decide to split up, even if both of you decide it's for the best, it will feel like a mistake at first, since the two of you have been together for so long. which is really why you need to sit down and talk to her about it. a relationship just doesn't happen, you have to work at it and make it work, but if both parties aren't ready to do so, the relationship is pointless, IMHO.

[IThinkIamFeelingit]

I think you 2 are done..finish...over...but that is just my opinion..Good luck

[Blitzed]

Communication is the key. Sit her down and tell her how you fell, and ask her what she thinks the future holds for you to as a couple. Also try doing something spontaneous or crazy, where you two can actually get some good bonding going and respark the flame.

[r0k]

Well man, you talk to her, and you tell her how you feel. Sex is a huge part of a relationship, and it's true that one can't exist without a healthy sex life. So, talk to her about everything, and if it doesn't work.. Well then, I suggest moving on.

That being said, toke up, and good luck.

[lagstronaut]

Sounds like you're married without the honeymoon

[jacked420]

once again i appreciate all the words of wisdom i get on here...yeah my girl is in florida right now, visiting her family. i'm hoping this week apart will help things out a lot. i'm definitely going to sit her down for a serious talk though when she gets back. that is the only solution i can see right now to our problems. if we can't work them out, then we are done. i can't waste any more of my life not being with someone i am truly happy with. its just going to be so hard though if we do break up because we have so much stuff together. we have 2 cats, one dog, a bunch of furniture and appliances. all of that stuff is both of ours. i guess i should just worry about trying to fix our relationship first huh?

[beachguy in thongs]

For five years, I dated a girl, and, lived with her for a year after we decided it was over. We noticed it at about Year Two to Three. Finally, after Four, we agreed that we have nothing left to talk about. This, coincidentally, was when she quit smoking herb. After Five, we stopped having sex, everyday. After Six, I picked up and moved 1000 miles, but, we are still close.

[jacked420]

For five years, I dated a girl, and, lived with her for a year after we decided it was over. We noticed it at about Year Two to Three. Finally, after Four, we agreed that we have nothing left to talk about. This, coincidentally, was when she quit smoking herb. After Five, we stopped having sex, everyday. After Six, I picked up and moved 1000 miles, but, we are still close.

so how did you break up with her? did you just sit her down and drop it on her? how did it feel to be alone after being with someone for that long? i think i am more nervous about being alone than anything else.

[palerider7777]

I think you 2 are done..finish...over...but that is just my opinion..Good luck

im with u on this one when girls start actin like that most of the time it's because her mind is someplace else and have moved on in there minds and just waitin for the right time or right sumbody to come along