My friends, Im in tears having to make THE toughest decision of my life

This is my first significant post and tonight something has happened that I have to make a decision by tomorow, like it or not, that will change my future :( I BEG YOU, PLEASE read this long post that I have been writing while tears have been running down my face....

I am 19 years old, live in Dallas, Tx and I am a part time waiter-student who is living with my dad. For the past 2 years I have been diagnosed with a rare disease, Hidretinitous Suppurativa, which, long story short, gives me very, very painfull boils around my groin and anus area, which are also very embarrising. I have been on and off pain pills, to the point where they don't help, im on humira, remacade, accutaine, you name it, and nothing helps my pain, nausua, you name it, as much as Mary Jane.

I have been smoking in disreet at my dad's and tonight, he confronted me about knowing that i've been smoking. He is an alcohalic, like it or not, and tonight he was drunk, just like any other evening. Anyways, I am getting a S.C.S. (Spinal Cord Stimulator) put in on the 30th to help my pain and I am very excited. However tonight, my dad threatened and hounded me (Drunk), that he smoked as a kid, and that "Pot" does no good and will lead me nowhere. I tried telling him about how much the plant helps me and I told him about the research I did, and his reply was "I dont care about no fucking research, it's either the surgury or this, and if you decide to continue smoking you can't live here anymore and you have until tomorow when i come home from work to give me an answer, pot or the surgery, but you just cant keep on living like this son."


I have such a dilemma in my hands, i really don't know who else to go to besides you guys and god, as my family is the exact same way as my dad. I know i will never quit smoking because of the wonders it does but I cant simply can't afford to move out on my own. This is because I have to stay off work for 2 months after the procedure cause I can't lift anything (Waiter) and I have about $500.

Please help, Im about to say a long prayer to god, and go to sleep if I can, as my dad took my weed and vape and it helps me sleep:( I've never been this lonely before in my entire life over something so innocent as cannabis. I'm seriously thinking about going to my doctor tomorow and asking him, as it seems doctors may be the only person that I can go to that will know the answers. Ill rep anyone that posts or whatever i dont care, i just need some advice. Thank you for reading and god bless.

damn dude thats rough...

the only advice i have would try and talk to your dad when he is sober..... it might help....

sorry im not that much help... but i read it and wanted to say something...

Damn main this is why we all need to give the truth about cannabis cause then it get outta hand like this. You need to find a way to get on your own, this negativity is not helping your health

thats terrible...i believe that you should do the surgery, though, because marijuana is just a temporary solution to a permanent problem...with the surgery you'll be able to have less pain and less problems.

thats my thought on the subject.

After I post this, I will pray for you and hope the best.


I HIGHLY suggest you talk to your doctor about it. Even if he isn't MJ friendly, he is probably the most competant person you can go to. If you explain to the doc that nothing but cannabis helps you with your pain, he should understand. However, in Texas, you cannot recieve Marijuana treatment unless you get a federal permit or something, but if the doc knows your situation, maybe he will help you get it. I know how it feels to be in pain, but the only treatment is ganja, even though I'm sure my pain is not the same level as yours.

God bless,
Unknownfigure - Sufferer of chronic, abdominal muscle pain, tension, and occasional spasms.

That's quite a harsh situation to deal with UTD, I'm sorry you're going through it. Remember though, suffering is the inevitable, unavoidable, defining characteristic of life. It is what we do with it, what we learn from it, that decides where we end up. All things in life are impermanent, both suffering and joy. What you're going through now will have its end, like anything else.

The drugs you listed seem to be autoimmune and anti-inflammatory drugs. There are opiod analgesics if you really can't alleviate the pain, but these are of course risky with addiction and whatnot. There is one that I'm on, called Tramadol, and it has the lowest addiction potential. I'm hooked on it now unfortunately, but it took a year of near-daily use before I finally got addicted. (before I could go 2-3 days without no problem).


With your dad, there's no easy answer. It's sad that he seems to be incredibly ignorant about the plant, poisoning his body with alcohol while hypocritically threatening to kick you out of the house over a non-toxic natural substance. I'll never understand how somebody can say "I don't care about fucking research". I suppose science is no match of stubborn presuppositions :rolleyes:

I think you need to quit the weed for a little while, maybe a couple weeks, but at least 'till you've had your spinal implant. It'll be good to get your tolerance down to save money and get better analgesia (painkilling). Once you get back to it, assuming you really feel you can't do without it, find a really excellent hiding spot. Outside is great of course, and keep your bud in a glass jar to ensure the smell stays concealed. Then all you can do is hide it as well as possible 'till you can move out.


Right now though, try not to feel too lonely. You have your cannabis.com friends here, you have god, you will have more people to talk to tomorrow (I hope).
Until then, try to attain a state of mental clarity by doing the following. It's an amazing Huna shamanic meditation technique that works remarkably well and fast:

Sit down in a comfortable possition, or lie down if you can't manage that (sitting's better though since it keeps you from falling asleep). Look upwards and hold your gaze in that possition (if you need to close your eyes into the practice, that's fine). Close your throat with your tongue and breath slowly and deeply in through your nose. Then breath out, taking twice as long, through your throat making a quiet sound like "Haaaaaaaaaaa". Hold your mental focus on your breathing as much as possible, but if thoughts come don't worry, just let them pass. Repeat as necessary, and you'll notice some remarkable effects within a minute. It only gets better from there on.

Good luck to you!:hippy:

Definitely talk to your doctor. See what he says. For some HS patients, as you know, smoking can be a further irritant/aggravation.

I agree that, when given the choice between the SCS and the cannabis, the logical choice is the SCS, especially with the pain you're having. Your dad is likely worried, as any parent naturally is when a kid is doing something that could get him in trouble with the law. Beneficial as cannabis is for you, it's still risky because it's illegal. I suspect your dad's also worried because he fears you may be on a similar path to the one he traveled on his way to becoming an alcohol addict.

This is the bad thing about living with your parents. Awful as it is, you still pretty well have to abide by their rules when they're footing the bills.

Frankly, as awful as the choice is, it seems pretty clear that for your sanity and your pain relief, you need to choose that SCS surgery. Cannabis isn't going to be gone from your life permanently. And perhaps you can still smoke discreeetly in other places. But don't sacrifice your pain relief or your living circumstances for weed.

Real sorry you're having to face this, UTD Smoker. Sorry your dad is not reasonable. So many people aren't when it comes to cannabis. Let us know how things turn out.

just want to wish you the best of luck.

wow i cant believe so many of you guys already posted thank yall so much you have no idea how much your advice has meant to me. gandolf, im on tramadol extended relase right now, called ulram, and i get little to no relief from that. as far as moving out, i only have 500, but the good thing is i am a waiter at papasitos so money shouldnt be a problem once i get back on my feet. I know these next few months are going to be tough, but after i get about a 1000 i am moving out for sure.

Ah yes, Ultram. I'm on Zytram, which is basically the Canadian version of the same thing. First I was on 150mg slow release, now I'm 300 (working to get back down to 150 now though). Did you originally get relief but your tolerance is up now, or did you never get relief from it?

btw, if it makes you constipated, this can be virtually cured by eating appricots or prunes. Appricots work somewhat better, but they can make you gassy. If you ever need to cure acute constipation, like you have to fix it right now, a sure-fire cure is drinking 1/2 cup olive oil with a 1/2 orange jiuce (the only type of jiuce that covers the awful taste). 1/2 might be a bit intense though, try a 1/4 first.

btw, could you find the exact spelling for your condition at some point? I wanted to look it up since I generally like studying biology, and sometimes stumble on some odd treatments a lot of docs don't know about. Do you know at least if the condition is caused by a virus?

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Originally Posted by Gandalf_The_Grey

btw, could you find the exact spelling for your condition at some point? I wanted to look it up since I generally like studying biology, and sometimes stumble on some odd treatments a lot of docs don't know about. Do you know at least if the condition is caused by a virus?

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200 mg, it did work and then i got tolerance to it just like anything else, it doesnt get me constipated like opiates and sure the exact spelling is:
hidradenitis suppurativa
:thumbsup:

sry for the double post, know the disease is chronic and i was just born with it, it just didnt hit until puberty, as the disease is where your sweat glands dont secret to the surface and get infected, thus causing boils

Well everyone has said what im gonna say, but yeah, talk to your docter, go through with the surgery, it will be best in the long run, and find ways to smoke, just dont let your dad catch you. Itll be like when you where a youngen.

how about not smoking and sucking the pain up til the surgery... see if it helps afterwards, maybe with the surgery and the pain killers you can be pain free... if it don't work, it's not like you can't always go back to weed.

Get the surgery, lay low until you are able where your father is concerned, speak to the God or Spirit you believe in, and as soon as you are able...fly out into a new life in the world and own it.

My dad was the same as yours, luckily I lived with my single mother instead. Even still, I was unable to avoid the path he took and became a heavy drinker for more than fifteen years (almost three years sober now). It has taken me twenty years to get to the point of being okay with not feeling that his problem was my problem. Don't do what I did. Just own your life from the beginning. At nineteen you should not be taking care of your parents emotional problems. It is supposed to be the other way around. None of this is your fault. Be patient, and follow his rules, knowing that you will leave them behind when you are strong enough to move out. Don't become like your father. Have faith and transcend his weaknesses. The Darkside is strong, but the Force is stronger.

Our thoughts are with you. Keep your chin up, and definitely confide in your doctor who has taken an oath to help you deal with your illness.

wow this is very very veryyyy bad

of course you should get the surgery, but to quit smoking is rudee!!

how much does that surgery cost anyways?

here its free ^^

your dad is a hypocrit and nothing less...he destroys his mind and body with alcohol and then continues to disrespect you by bashing weed when it is the only thing that apparantly treats your sickness and makes you feel normal...pretty much i say is this...go with your plan to save up some money from work, go with the shot, move out when you have enough money, and say dad fuck you asshole i'm a better person than you and my son or daughter is going to be a better person than you...good luck man and i hope things go as good as they can...sparkin a bowl for ya right now :thumbsup:

sorry for the double post but if my last sounds a little out of text just try emphasing different sylables...i'm a little baked/had a few to drink so i'm postin outa whack yet true......now back to that bowl.:hippy:

damm bro that suks i feel bad 4 u bro
Deff go along with the surgery BUT HOW DID UR DAD FIND out u smoked seriously u must have been carless as i smoked from 9-18 without my parents noticing DID HE find ur stash?did ur room reek im just wondering
and to answer ur q i think surgery wud make the most sense make sure ur doctors good!

damn man that sucks your dad is a real asshole, i don't wish pain on you or anybody hope you can get some help and be back smokin the herb again real soon,


peace out TjM

yeah dude id talk to him when he sobers up, im in the same position with the drunken father except mine doesnt care about weed, alcohol does talk sometimes. get the surgery and smoke behind their back...be very careful, when their not home and or if they leave for a minute...idk if this is helpful at all but i hope things work out for ya

just tell him that you quit smoking weed and that you would rather want to have the surgery. now if you really cant go without the weed then you will have to smoke in secret. dont let anyone know that you smoke and dont smoke around your dad or at your house.

just a quick question: once you get your surgery will most of the pain be relieved?



i hope everything goes well for you, you deserve it:thumbsup:

Godammit, I had this perfect response all typed out for this and *poof*....

Then I reload the page and tschmidty32 has so uneloquently made the same point.

So now you get the quick and dirty rewrite:

point 1: Dad holds pain relief over your head like a carrot

point 2: You let him. Tell him to rub sandpaper on his balls and not have any booze and then you'll quit smoking weed.

point 3: Life's a bitch, ditch the people that twist the knife when you get stabbed, and for the love of god don't sleep in the same house with people that stab you! Tell dad: "well dad, you've been a shitty father so far, and this is sorta the cake topper for this little going away party... It's best to get as far away as possible from deeply dysfunctional relationships as soon as you realize what's going on...hope you have a better son next time" and hit the road.

He's more concerned about opinions of people he probably doesn't even like than he is about your physical, documented pain.

________________

a clean bong is a sign of a sound mind

I'd talk to your doctor, and if he agrees is it the best option, have the surgery and quit smoking until you move out.

Poor thing, you are really having a bad spell. I hope your pain is eased by the surgery, and that you are able to hang in until then. Once you are able to work again, you can move away. You father has his own path. On yours, there is a light ahead, and if you remember that, this darkness will be easier to bear. I am holding good thoughts of you in my heart!

I really hope all goes well mate, I feel for you. You have no choice but to live under your dad's rules if you're under his roof. Tough, but fair and true. Maybe suggest to your dad since you're giving up weed he should give up alcohol. Especially for his son who is in dire need of some love and support.

Thanks guys, I just woke up and I have made the decision to go with the surgury, as it will take most of my pain away (60%-80%), then after I'm healthy and get some money saved up, THE FIRST thing im doing is moving my ass out of here:thumbsup:. As for my dad, he really is a great father, but hes just so confused about my situation and he just refuses to be re-educated about cannabis. He said that he had smelled weed in my room for the past couple of weeks btw, i have a vaporizer for my healh (Which he took away), so i guess he smelled the burned smell in my room. I think I;m going to talk to him today while hes sober and if that doesnt help, im going to talk to the doc tomorow. I def will keep yall updated, as shit since i can't get stoned ill be on here 24/7 haha;)

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Originally Posted by UTD Toker

Thanks guys, I just woke up and I have made the decision to go with the surgury, as it will take most of my pain away (60%-80%), then after I'm healthy and get some money saved up, THE FIRST thing im doing is moving my ass out of here:thumbsup:. As for my dad, he really is a great father, but hes just so confused about my situation and he just refuses to be re-educated about cannabis. He said that he had smelled weed in my room for the past couple of weeks btw, i have a vaporizer for my healh (Which he took away), so i guess he smelled the burned smell in my room. I think I;m going to talk to him today while hes sober and if that doesnt help, im going to talk to the doc tomorow. I def will keep yall updated, as shit since i can't get stoned ill be on here 24/7 haha;)

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Good to hear you have control over the situation and thought about it. I wish you the best of luck. You can always smoke outside, or at a friends. If not then giving up cannabis for a little while won't be too bad.

man y r u even asking this question the choice is obvious.
keep smoking weed just make sure ur dad dosent find out then get ur surgery and keep smoking weed on the dl if u still have to

Good to hear you've got a game plan UTD, sounds like the best way to go. My heart goes out to you; I had a pretty severe boil on the small of my back years ago and it was absolute AGONY. I can only cringe while I imagine what life must be like for you on a daily basis. :(

It's a shame your father is so against the one thing you've found that gives you some relief; you'd think a parent would embrace whatever it took to alleviate their offsprings suffering. Good chance it's the sauce talking, so good on ya for trying to discuss this with him before he gets loaded. It should be noted you're using a vape as well, which means you're actually looking out for your health while he's rotting his brain and liver with ethanol. If that hypocrisy escapes him while he's sober, than he really does have a pathological hate for weed and all I can say is good luck with the move out! Not to say I'm voicing support for opting for THC over your home and family, the SCS is the way to go. If it can help Jerry Lewis it can help anyone.


Good luck buddy, let us know what happens...


P.s. Have you looked into ginger at all? Ingesting large quantities of it will make you sweat, clearing out glands in your skin. My step-dad had some success with it for his cystic acne. Also, a slice of it raw applied to the skin acts as a nature, topical anesthetic. Might come in handy, figured I'd share.

You are making a good decision.
If you want to talk to him about his alcoholism, and the hypocrisy you are feeling coming from him, be gentle- Remember to talk to your father in terms that he isn't threatened by, using "I feel like....." rather than "you always...." type of statements.
Your relationship is at stake here. If you can have an adult conversation, it bodes well for your relationship with him as an adult.
Moving out is certainly something you will be doing soon anyway, since you're getting to that age... but succeeding at getting along with your dad is an admirable goal in the meantime.
I wish you all the best for the surgery being a success.
When it comes time to start smoking again, there ARE some strain lines that carry anti-inflammatory properties. I believe that the foundation stock for Subcool's stuff is in that category.

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Originally Posted by fuzzybeaner

man y r u even asking this question the choice is obvious.
keep smoking weed just make sure ur dad dosent find out then get ur surgery and keep smoking weed on the dl if u still have to

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Not for all, and it's quite different when you're actually in that position.

tell ur dad u'll quit, then get the surgery and go back to smoking discreetly, but this time do not smoke at your fathers house..i wish you luck with what ever your planning to do..if worst coems to worst call childs services

That's quite the stipulation, UTD. Don't you hate when parents give you choices like that?! It's either their way or the highway, right? But it's like birdgirl said, you don't want to sacrifice your provisionals until you have a steady foot on your own turf. Of course, you'll flock the nest sooner or later, and you should keep that forefront in your mind. In the meantime, though you should honor your father's words. All parents have their faults and the sooner you realize it the sooner it'll effect you less, because that's just the way they are. Everything will be fine for you, UTD. You have your whole life ahead of you to do with it what you please in regards to smoking cannabis. Just remember you brought you in this world, you little ingrate! lol j/k but something like that...

You're in a really bad situation, so there's no easy answer. What I would do is agree to the surgery. And until after you recover fully, only smoke when he is passed out or asleep. After that, I would move out if I were you, because stress probably is not good for the condition, and it seems like that is all he is doing. You'll be in my prayers, man.

Keep your head up! Sounds like you're smart enough to get out of these woods, till then dont forget to smile and remember to take care of #1:thumbsup:

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vv1sRFbsKDY[/YOUTUBE]

thanks for more great advice, as for ginger, ive never tried that but sweat and stress are the two things that make my condition worse, as my sweat glands malfunction therefore more sweating=more infection. I can't express to yall hom much yall mean to me....this world world be a better place if there were more people like yall in this confused, shamefull world we live in:cool:

On a slight side note, I'm sure your doctor has tried oral and topical antibiotics?