My friends, Im in tears having to make THE toughest decision of my life

[UTD Toker]

This is my first significant post and tonight something has happened that I have to make a decision by tomorow, like it or not, that will change my future I BEG YOU, PLEASE read this long post that I have been writing while tears have been running down my face....

I am 19 years old, live in Dallas, Tx and I am a part time waiter-student who is living with my dad. For the past 2 years I have been diagnosed with a rare disease, Hidretinitous Suppurativa, which, long story short, gives me very, very painfull boils around my groin and anus area, which are also very embarrising. I have been on and off pain pills, to the point where they don't help, im on humira, remacade, accutaine, you name it, and nothing helps my pain, nausua, you name it, as much as Mary Jane.

I have been smoking in disreet at my dad's and tonight, he confronted me about knowing that i've been smoking. He is an alcohalic, like it or not, and tonight he was drunk, just like any other evening. Anyways, I am getting a S.C.S. (Spinal Cord Stimulator) put in on the 30th to help my pain and I am very excited. However tonight, my dad threatened and hounded me (Drunk), that he smoked as a kid, and that "Pot" does no good and will lead me nowhere. I tried telling him about how much the plant helps me and I told him about the research I did, and his reply was "I dont care about no fucking research, it's either the surgury or this, and if you decide to continue smoking you can't live here anymore and you have until tomorow when i come home from work to give me an answer, pot or the surgery, but you just cant keep on living like this son."


I have such a dilemma in my hands, i really don't know who else to go to besides you guys and god, as my family is the exact same way as my dad. I know i will never quit smoking because of the wonders it does but I cant simply can't afford to move out on my own. This is because I have to stay off work for 2 months after the procedure cause I can't lift anything (Waiter) and I have about $500.

Please help, Im about to say a long prayer to god, and go to sleep if I can, as my dad took my weed and vape and it helps me sleep I've never been this lonely before in my entire life over something so innocent as cannabis. I'm seriously thinking about going to my doctor tomorow and asking him, as it seems doctors may be the only person that I can go to that will know the answers. Ill rep anyone that posts or whatever i dont care, i just need some advice. Thank you for reading and god bless.

UTD Toker Reviewed by UTD Toker on 08-16-2007. My friends, Im in tears having to make THE toughest decision of my life This is my first significant post and tonight something has happened that I have to make a decision by tomorow, like it or not, that will change my future :( I BEG YOU, PLEASE read this long post that I have been writing while tears have been running down my face.... I am 19 years old, live in Dallas, Tx and I am a part time waiter-student who is living with my dad. For the past 2 years I have been diagnosed with a rare disease, Hidretinitous Suppurativa, which, long story short, gives me Rating: 5

[budsmoker only]

damn dude thats rough...

the only advice i have would try and talk to your dad when he is sober..... it might help....

sorry im not that much help... but i read it and wanted to say something...

[MadSativa]

Damn main this is why we all need to give the truth about cannabis cause then it get outta hand like this. You need to find a way to get on your own, this negativity is not helping your health

[Rabbit Lion]

thats terrible...i believe that you should do the surgery, though, because marijuana is just a temporary solution to a permanent problem...with the surgery you'll be able to have less pain and less problems.

thats my thought on the subject.

[Unknownfigure]

After I post this, I will pray for you and hope the best.


I HIGHLY suggest you talk to your doctor about it. Even if he isn't MJ friendly, he is probably the most competant person you can go to. If you explain to the doc that nothing but cannabis helps you with your pain, he should understand. However, in Texas, you cannot recieve Marijuana treatment unless you get a federal permit or something, but if the doc knows your situation, maybe he will help you get it. I know how it feels to be in pain, but the only treatment is ganja, even though I'm sure my pain is not the same level as yours.

God bless,
Unknownfigure - Sufferer of chronic, abdominal muscle pain, tension, and occasional spasms.

[Gandalf_The_Grey]

That's quite a harsh situation to deal with UTD, I'm sorry you're going through it. Remember though, suffering is the inevitable, unavoidable, defining characteristic of life. It is what we do with it, what we learn from it, that decides where we end up. All things in life are impermanent, both suffering and joy. What you're going through now will have its end, like anything else.

The drugs you listed seem to be autoimmune and anti-inflammatory drugs. There are opiod analgesics if you really can't alleviate the pain, but these are of course risky with addiction and whatnot. There is one that I'm on, called Tramadol, and it has the lowest addiction potential. I'm hooked on it now unfortunately, but it took a year of near-daily use before I finally got addicted. (before I could go 2-3 days without no problem).


With your dad, there's no easy answer. It's sad that he seems to be incredibly ignorant about the plant, poisoning his body with alcohol while hypocritically threatening to kick you out of the house over a non-toxic natural substance. I'll never understand how somebody can say "I don't care about fucking research". I suppose science is no match of stubborn presuppositions

I think you need to quit the weed for a little while, maybe a couple weeks, but at least 'till you've had your spinal implant. It'll be good to get your tolerance down to save money and get better analgesia (painkilling). Once you get back to it, assuming you really feel you can't do without it, find a really excellent hiding spot. Outside is great of course, and keep your bud in a glass jar to ensure the smell stays concealed. Then all you can do is hide it as well as possible 'till you can move out.


Right now though, try not to feel too lonely. You have your cannabis.com friends here, you have god, you will have more people to talk to tomorrow (I hope).
Until then, try to attain a state of mental clarity by doing the following. It's an amazing Huna shamanic meditation technique that works remarkably well and fast:

Sit down in a comfortable possition, or lie down if you can't manage that (sitting's better though since it keeps you from falling asleep). Look upwards and hold your gaze in that possition (if you need to close your eyes into the practice, that's fine). Close your throat with your tongue and breath slowly and deeply in through your nose. Then breath out, taking twice as long, through your throat making a quiet sound like "Haaaaaaaaaaa". Hold your mental focus on your breathing as much as possible, but if thoughts come don't worry, just let them pass. Repeat as necessary, and you'll notice some remarkable effects within a minute. It only gets better from there on.

Good luck to you!:hippy:

[birdgirl73]

Definitely talk to your doctor. See what he says. For some HS patients, as you know, smoking can be a further irritant/aggravation.

I agree that, when given the choice between the SCS and the cannabis, the logical choice is the SCS, especially with the pain you're having. Your dad is likely worried, as any parent naturally is when a kid is doing something that could get him in trouble with the law. Beneficial as cannabis is for you, it's still risky because it's illegal. I suspect your dad's also worried because he fears you may be on a similar path to the one he traveled on his way to becoming an alcohol addict.

This is the bad thing about living with your parents. Awful as it is, you still pretty well have to abide by their rules when they're footing the bills.

Frankly, as awful as the choice is, it seems pretty clear that for your sanity and your pain relief, you need to choose that SCS surgery. Cannabis isn't going to be gone from your life permanently. And perhaps you can still smoke discreeetly in other places. But don't sacrifice your pain relief or your living circumstances for weed.

Real sorry you're having to face this, UTD Smoker. Sorry your dad is not reasonable. So many people aren't when it comes to cannabis. Let us know how things turn out.

[weedmaster]

just want to wish you the best of luck.

[UTD Toker]

wow i cant believe so many of you guys already posted thank yall so much you have no idea how much your advice has meant to me. gandolf, im on tramadol extended relase right now, called ulram, and i get little to no relief from that. as far as moving out, i only have 500, but the good thing is i am a waiter at papasitos so money shouldnt be a problem once i get back on my feet. I know these next few months are going to be tough, but after i get about a 1000 i am moving out for sure.

[Gandalf_The_Grey]

Ah yes, Ultram. I'm on Zytram, which is basically the Canadian version of the same thing. First I was on 150mg slow release, now I'm 300 (working to get back down to 150 now though). Did you originally get relief but your tolerance is up now, or did you never get relief from it?

btw, if it makes you constipated, this can be virtually cured by eating appricots or prunes. Appricots work somewhat better, but they can make you gassy. If you ever need to cure acute constipation, like you have to fix it right now, a sure-fire cure is drinking 1/2 cup olive oil with a 1/2 orange jiuce (the only type of jiuce that covers the awful taste). 1/2 might be a bit intense though, try a 1/4 first.