I feel so drained and used

I'm sorry for venting about my life on here so much but I have a long work day on the computer, and too much time to think. I feel so used by my boyfriend, I feel like all I do is give give give to everyone, and I am left feeling drained. I've been running on E for alittle while now, and shits about to fall apart. Even though things have been good with us I stll cant help but feel taken advantage of. After sucking his dick, and smoking him up on a blunt, he asks to pinch some of my weed. after the firs ttime he does it agian. This is all after I buy him concert tickets -- which he said he would pay me back for but neevr does. -- he has NEVER taken me out to eat. The one time we ate toegter not at our houses I PAYED! last nite was the last straw though. Not only did i give him head, let him do me any way he wanted, let him smoke 4 of the blunts that I payed and rolled! but then I ask him to eat me out and he says no! I dont kno why him saying no is making me so depressed but it is. The one thing! The one thing i ask for, and he says no! Not only does that make me feel used agian, but it makes me feel ugly and unworthy. i want to go cry about it. i need to end it. but I know no matter what anyone says i wont be strong enough to. how fucked up is that though. then once he finished fucking me in a way that wasnt very comforatble for me, and letting him cum on my face which i dont like at all (it makes me feel degraded) he ate ALL of the food in my apartment. which i cant afford. he said he will buy me more. but i know he wont. :mad: i thougth venting would help me feel better, but im afraid it just confirmed the fact that I'm pathetic.

Sounds like the same selfish, inconsiderate crap I do. Sure he might be charming and boyishly cute, but he's also a handful and given your current state of exhaustion, you might want to begin looking for someone who is at least going to push their weight, and not take you for granted.

Oh,you are worth so much more...Does he have a job?? If so tell him to buy his own shit....but I know how you feel about the no answer...I get that too at times and t always make me feel like somethings wrong with me.I don't get the thought process going on in their heads...Maybe there is none.But I would seriously tell him how you feel no matter how hard it is and tell him he needs to pay for and eat/smoke his own shit.If he doesn't like it he knows where the door is,if that's his choice,but he might not take the out.Ya never know.There is no way it's going to get better though if you don't say anything....

Good luck sweety!!;)

You could tell him things like that all you want but it wont sink in until he goes without.

Is this still the same lame fool who's been using you for a doormat since last month?
Let me just say this, again...
You get what you settle for.
And as for the oral, if he cared AT ALL about you, there would be NO QUESTION. You wouldn't have to ask for it,
you'd have to ask him to stop.
Dump The Chump.

^thanks. I know it's him not me, but I feel like it is me, to the point where it makes me cry. I need to let him go, but I cant and I know I wont.

He has a job! Makes more than me! And lives with his mommy. I live on my own and support myself. so much wrong here.

I also wouldntt mind giving him things and doing things for him, but he isnt even thoguhtful in return. Oral is free! And he slaps me in the face and says NO! When we have been together months and he did it once for about a minute. and i never ask. and i had the balls to, because I keep my thoughts to myself. he makes me feel so ugly.

I hope I'm not hi-jacking the thread, but don't women have chump-vision? How did you get caught up with this guy in the first place, missy?

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Originally Posted by psteve

Is this still the same lame fool who's been using you for a doormat since last month?
Let me just say this, again...
You get what you settle for.
And as for the oral, if he cared AT ALL about you, there would be NO QUESTION. You wouldn't have to ask for it,
you'd have to ask him to stop.
Dump The Chump.

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how the hell do i get strong enough to do that?
and yes its the same guy from last month, the month before, and the year befor that.

they guy is taking advantage of you.....you see it, yet do nothing...there are many good men out there...finding one is kinda hard with a low self image, you are worth way more, tell yourself that every day till you come to beleive it...he wont pay now..he wont pay ever...and sex should be fun, not something that makes you mad....there are really good men out there......but you got to kiss some frogs i guess to find the prince...good luck.

You already have the strength. Let mama's boy go already.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by psteve

Is this still the same lame fool who's been using you for a doormat since last month?
Let me just say this, again...
You get what you settle for.
And as for the oral, if he cared AT ALL about you, there would be NO QUESTION. You wouldn't have to ask for it,
you'd have to ask him to stop.
Dump The Chump.

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ummm THANK YOU!

Dump that loser! Esp. if the sex isn't amazing in everyway that he gives it(can you say not worth it?) There is soo much better out there, just waiting for you to dump this guy!

Come on girl. From what I've read from you...it seems like you are strong enough to be single. You don't need guys like that....Guys that use you and don't appreciate you. I used to be like that, when I was 16,17....
it might be lots of things but one thing is for sure... He does not appreciate you.

if i may ask, what does he give you or help you with? does he show any feelings at all?

You need to get out of this relationship and get out of it now. You want to but I hear some fear in your response, fear of the unknown or maybe being alone. Get out now, the longer it goes one, the harder it will be. Set yourself free, there are 3 billion men on this Earth, you will find someone else.

[align=center]We all have a sickness
That cleverly attaches and multiplies
No matter how hard we try[/align]

He is your sickness and he is sucking the life out of you. You will feel so much better if you do, like you are reborn.

You ARE being used! I want you to take a deep breath and read your post like you never had seen it before! Look at it like it was some other person's post! What would you tell her?

A relationship that is going to work has to have one of two things (a) a 50/50 give and take, combined with respect and shared interests.:thumbsup: Or (b) one person who is willing to be a doormat and the other enough of an ass to keep it that way. :( You have "b".

Now there are three possible courses of action.
(1) Things stay as they are you get more and more depressed (and used) and finally he dumps you for a "less screwed up" chick (and begins the process all over again).
(2) You grab him and tell him exactly how you feel, then base you next moves on his reaction/response.
(3) You put on some feminist music ("Harden my heart" "I will Survive", "I'm a Survivor", etc), smoke a fattie, and kick his arse to the curb! (You could always do a "traditional" "Cherokee divorce", -he comes home to his stuff on the doorstep. Most of the US is part Cherokee:D)

But dear, he is not just using you, he's abusing you. Read up on co-dependence and psychological abuse- try the public library. See if they have an old copy of "Sisterhood is Powerful" by Robin Morgan. You NEED to read that book! It's old, but it's still true! It's mostly articles- but there are a few poems and this one is for you-

[align=center]For Witches[/align]
[align=left]today I lost my temper
Temper, when one talks of metal
means to make strong
perfect.

Temper, for humans, means angry
irrational
bad

Today I found my temper
I said,
you step on my head
for 27 years you step on my head
and though I have been trained
to excuse you for your inevitable
clumbsiness
today I think
I prefer my head to your clumbsiness

Today I began
to find
myself.



tomorrow
perhaps
I will begin
to find
you.
[/align]

Susan Sutheim

One of these days, you will "prefer your head" to his selfishness. He seems to be a vampire, a taker, a user, a leech- lots of names for that kind of guy. Stoner dudes are a dime a dozen (sorry guys, but there ARE a lot of you) Stoner gals, however are rare! You should be able to pick and choose, hon! And daaaang, you can do so much better than that self-centered, chauvinistic leech! At least, find a guy who buys his own stash and treats you decent!

Granny:hippy:

What's he doing with his money? He works but you buy the weed, cook the food, take him out.

I think you should at least talk to him about how you feel. Tough love might not always get the desired response.

If I was her BF, I'd be ashamed and kill myself.

That sounds too pathetic to describe in words. Get a REAL man.

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Originally Posted by thcbongman

If I was her BF, I'd be ashamed and kill myself.

That sounds too pathetic to describe in words. Get a REAL man.

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Ditto. If after all that he doesnt eat you out, dump him. Dont even feel bad about it, hes a piece of shit, and if he treats you like that I guarantee he brags about it to his friends.

It will never change or get better, he will always be the same.

You are not ugly or worthless. You are beautiful and selflessly giving.

If you stay with him it is your fault from here on out. You are telling him and other people its alright to treat you like shit. Worse, you are admitting it to yourself. Its not ok.

I wonder if you have an inferiority complex. Reverse that shit.. start getting a little cocky and arrogant if nothing else. Hes not good enough for you, so be picky. Dump his ass and laugh in his face about it. Dont get another boyfriend for a while, at least a few months. Clear your head. Be a bitch and enjoy it.

What a chump, the guy is leeching off of you for sex and smokes... that's pretty pathetic. He's never done anything nice for you, and refuses to do a little lickin and return the favor?... As a guy, knowing how we think...I'd have to say that's a clear sign he's just using you, and he obviously knows it and is using it to his advantage otherwise IMO if he did care about you he'd feel guilty about never paying or doing anything nice, and he'd attempt to do something special once in a while, or at least be willing to give some oral. It's may be hard to say goodbye, but it'll just be harder if you hang onto him, and the longer you hang on the harder it will be. Ditch him, and you'll feel lonely for a while, but I'm confident that you'll be able to suck it up and handle it, and when you do... there's plenty of other fish in the sea, and I'm sure you could find a guy willing to treat you better.

i think its clear what the decision is right now. i think 100% of the responses here say so. i wish you the BEST of luck with him.

Ditch that creep before anything REALLY abd happens... my ex started out like that, and when I was like, no, you can't have any more free weed, he just started STEALING it from me. The selfish user asshole comes with many faces but he's the same jerk.

You feel trapped? You also are upset with your job as I recall from another thread... time to do an overhaul on your life. You will be surprised at how much strength you actually HAVE, and you don't even know it because this dipshit is draining it out of you.

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Originally Posted by 420MissHighTimes420

how the hell do i get strong enough to do that?

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Here's your answer...

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Originally Posted by stinkyattic

You will be surprised at how much strength you actually HAVE, and you don't even know it because this dipshit is draining it out of you.

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That's just what I was going to say.
Take back your strength.

^^Thank you all so much. It is clear what I am supposed to do, and that is to dump his ass ... and here it comes .... BUT I can't handle ANOTHER failed relationship, I'm not ready to deal with it, I know it will only get worse as time goes on, but right now it will kill me. I can't keep friends longer than a few months -- the one best friend I had I just cut out because I'm able to be a bitch to girls -- I have lost all connection to my parents sinceI moved out. and I have gone through some BADDDDD break ups before.
here I could keep going on with excuses. your all right. I needed to hear it, and hopefully I iwll find it in me to be alone for once.
Once agian thanks.

It isn't failed if YOU are the one who says, I am not getting what I need. I am the one who CHOOSES to leave.

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Originally Posted by 420MissHighTimes420

^^Thank you all so much. It is clear what I am supposed to do, and that is to dump his ass ... and here it comes .... BUT I can't handle ANOTHER failed relationship, I'm not ready to deal with it, I know it will only get worse as time goes on, but right now it will kill me. I can't keep friends longer than a few months -- the one best friend I had I just cut out because I'm able to be a bitch to girls -- I have lost all connection to my parents sinceI moved out. and I have gone through some BADDDDD break ups before.
here I could keep going on with excuses. your all right. I needed to hear it, and hopefully I iwll find it in me to be alone for once.
Once agian thanks.

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Youre being too hard on yourself, it sounds like you dont fully love and accept everything about yourself. You need to be able to say that... you have to love it all in order for somebody else to. You gotta be comfortable with yourself, and happy with everything that makes you, YOU! Go on babes, do watcha gotta do and FEEL GOOD ABOUT! :D Were rootin for ya :)

im not sure if i remember correctly, but i think it was you that i told " if you act like a doormat, don't be surprised when people walk all over you."

do people walk all over pitbulls? i dont think so...

i hope you get what i mean this time...or if you already did, at least take it to heart.

Listen to everyone, they've given some wonderful advice. They have all given me some advice that I am forever thankful for. Were both kind of in the same ugly boat.. kinda. Well we both love assholes who don't deserve us. As much as we build ourselves up, we turn back into idiots when we see them. Im not sure what Im trying to say since everyone has said it already but Im here for you if you ever need someone to talk to. You have so much love and strength in you, you just have to build it up and not give it away to that dipshit.

You ladies should move to Columbus.. I would date either one of you in a hearbeat, but I dont think Im meant to have a relationship in this life. However I could at least show you how you should be treated, and I could introduce you to people who would treat you better.

Lol I should start a service for women... Id be a mix between Hitch and Dr. Phil hahahahaha.

You would be a rich man if you did that! lol

Im about this close to taking you up on your offer. Psh..

Earlier, when I said that I have the same problem that your boyfriend does...I didn't mean it. I'm actually a really nice, considerate, handsome fellow, in search of a wonderful woman to serve.

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Originally Posted by ScaryMissMary

You would be a rich man if you did that! lol

Im about this close to taking you up on your offer. Psh..

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hehe I wouldnt do it for the money, silly!

And youre more than welcome, you just cant fall in love with me! Im going to Thailand in a few years to train in Muay Thai in the temples there, and from there Im going to Shao Lin, I dont wanna hurt anybody :(

Here's an attempt to explain this guy's psyche. Maybe it'll help.

This guy gets his kicks from walking all over you. I had a roommate that was like that. He never had a hard time finding women either. The problem with him is not that he's oblivious to the fact that he's treating you like shit, it's that he enjoys treating you like shit! In his mind, the more you will put up with to be with him, the better that makes him feel about himself.

If you stand up to him, he'll do one of two things. He will either twist things around to make you feel guilty and make it seem like everything's your fault, or he'll make some token gesture, hoping that you, being attention-starved, will eat it right up. See, he won't just leave, even though he has no interest in you, because he has absolutely no respect for you. And if someone he has no respect for breaks up with him, what must that make him?

Some guys will be assholes if they're trying to get a girl to leave them, but I think you've been with him long enough that this isn't the case. But in any case, he has no respect for you and you need to leave him.

And here I feel guilty when my girlfriend IMs me and I don't feel like talking. (I do anyway)

You really need support from your friends or your family. Internet message boards might do in a pinch, but you really should think about trying to reconnect with your parents or something.

Good luck...

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Originally Posted by 420MissHighTimes420

^^Thank you all so much. It is clear what I am supposed to do, and that is to dump his ass ... and here it comes .... BUT I can't handle ANOTHER failed relationship, I'm not ready to deal with it, I know it will only get worse as time goes on, but right now it will kill me. I can't keep friends longer than a few months -- the one best friend I had I just cut out because I'm able to be a bitch to girls -- I have lost all connection to my parents sinceI moved out. and I have gone through some BADDDDD break ups before.
here I could keep going on with excuses. your all right. I needed to hear it, and hopefully I iwll find it in me to be alone for once.
Once agian thanks.

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It'll be tough, you don't have to go and find one right away. One day, it'll just happen, and you'll meet a guy that's great for you, at the least expected time.

Just be the best person you can be. Concentrate on other aspects of your life. To meet good people, you have to do good things.

I really can't understand why you're still with the dude if this is all true. Honestly, what the hell are you waiting for? If you tell yourself that you weak, chances are you're going to actually believe it after a while!



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Dump him yet? There are plenty of willing young males under the internet tag of 'couch-potato' who are willing to pick up where this douche bag left off. What kind of pathetic excuse for a man doesn't eat pussy and bums weed off of his girl? I wish I could E-knock-bitches-the-fuck-out through my monitor.

Im done ... Last night he made me cry forever and I was laying next to him and I dont think he noticed and if he did he didnt care. hes going away soon and I wish I could stay with him but this will be just what I need to get away from him. hes like a robot he has no feelings. he is so selfish and i dont kno why i wasted so much time with him. im going to hang out with him until he leaves, but after last nite i dont even think i can fuck him. i told him to call me so we could actually have a conversation for once, and we didnt. im tired of being used. and I really hope I find it in me to not let this break up make me depressed because thats where it's going. I dont understand why it's so hard to find a good guy. I do like myself for the most part, I know i look good, and I think I have a good personality, I'm fun and giving, but for some reason the only thing guys pick up on is my doormat qualities. im just not going to look and hope the man of my dreams shows up.

and grazil i thought that you were moving to be with that lady of yours somewhere?

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Originally Posted by 420MissHighTimes420

Im done ... Last night he made me cry forever and I was laying next to him and I dont think he noticed and if he did he didnt care. hes going away soon and I wish I could stay with him but this will be just what I need to get away from him. hes like a robot he has no feelings. he is so selfish and i dont kno why i wasted so much time with him. im going to hang out with him until he leaves, but after last nite i dont even think i can fuck him. i told him to call me so we could actually have a conversation for once, and we didnt. im tired of being used. and I really hope I find it in me to not let this break up make me depressed because thats where it's going. I dont understand why it's so hard to find a good guy. I do like myself for the most part, I know i look good, and I think I have a good personality, I'm fun and giving, but for some reason the only thing guys pick up on is my doormat qualities. im just not going to look and hope the man of my dreams shows up.

and grazil i thought that you were moving to be with that lady of yours somewhere?

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I moved from Maryland to Columbus to get out of Maryland... yeah I chose this place and was inspired to really do it for a girl but she just never called me one day before I had even left, and it turned out she went back to her ex boyfriend. I didnt let that stop me though, and she is now regretting it, but knows damn well she wont get another chance.

Thats why I surmised that I must not be meant to have a relationship in this life. However, I will still always and forever be in love with you god damned women lol :p for better or for worse.... another reason why Im going to temples in Asia to train hardcore in the martial arts lmao

After looking at the sexy pic thread, you don't have any reason to be afraid to leave him. You should find someone who will treat you right and you shouldn't have any trouble unless you have some hiden mental issues or other personality traits we aren't aware. Set yourself free!

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Originally Posted by FakeBoobsRule

After looking at the sexy pic thread, you don't have any reason to be afraid to leave him. You should find someone who will treat you right and you shouldn't have any trouble unless you have some hiden mental issues or other personality traits we aren't aware. Set yourself free!

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Thats what IM sayin!! But everybody is their own worst critic I guess :-\

And hey... whats that youre cookin?? I can smell it from here...

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Originally Posted by GraziLovesMary

I moved from Maryland to Columbus to get out of Maryland... yeah I chose this place and was inspired to really do it for a girl but she just never called me one day before I had even left, and it turned out she went back to her ex boyfriend. I didnt let that stop me though, and she is now regretting it, but knows damn well she wont get another chance.

Thats why I surmised that I must not be meant to have a relationship in this life. However, I will still always and forever be in love with you god damned women lol :p for better or for worse.... another reason why Im going to temples in Asia to train hardcore in the martial arts lmao

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that girl must have been insane!! or just plain stupid, because from your posts any girl would be soo lucky to have you.

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Originally Posted by 420MissHighTimes420

that girl must have been insane!! or just plain stupid, because from your posts any girl would be soo lucky to have you.

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ehh Im not special or anything but I do know how to treat a woman. But it seems that the women that I allow myself to get involved with are the kind that are always wanting more... meh what happens, happens. It happened for a reason too. Im in a new city and lovin it. Clearly we werent meant to be together so better find out before I even move so that Im moving here for ME and not her.

And here I am :D