Alright, so....randomly stumbled upon these boards so I am new here, but I saw this category and decided to snoop around.
Anyways, its a long story and I'm a talker so I'll try to keep it as short as I can...sorry if it gets to be too long. Anyways, without further ado.
To start off I am 17 and this past school year I was a junior. Ok, so to start of this year I basically changed my entire friend group to the seniors of our school. I played soccer for school and this girl (senior) had a crush on me and gave me her number one day after a game and told me to call her. So I did and we started talking a lot and became close friends. Soon I started to like her friend and that didn't end up working out, but the whole time as I soon realized later, she had liked me the whole time. Something randomly changed for me one day and I started liking this friend...A LOT. But shes weird in the way that no matter how much she likes you, if you push to hard, she pulls back, I pushed too hard and she pulled away from me for about a month and like we never hung out or talked at all.
Eventually, I talked to her and we began hanging out again and got really close. Basically, besides the first month of school I have had a humongous crush on her. Unfortunately, even though we hang out with the same group, she works with a lot of sketch people and is very shallow at the same time. (Her mentality seems to be- if your tall and a little bit older-she'll get attention and the guy is huge) And with her I always felt like lately I've been on the sidelines, even though I mean we've done everything there is to do besides sex.
Anyways...I'm in a huge predicament here because first off she is leaving for college pretty soon, so I mean I know a relationship is basically impossible. But, I know if she leaves I will be completely crushed because I love this girl to death and we love hanging out with each other so much (though because of her work, I have been neglected recently) With the stuff we've been through together I know she will never forget me, but now I feel like were slipping further and further away from each other. I don't know what the fuck I can do, but I know when she leaves part of me is going to die.
I'm really close with a lot of girls, so maybe she felt that I was the one who was never completely devoted. But I just am completely lost on this subject. Shes insanely tough to read. I'm not desperate for a girlfriend or anything, I've been with enough and I can get more (not to be obnoxious) but I know this girl is the one. Sometimes I think she doesn't care, but sometimes if I don't text or call her back immediately she gets paranoid and worried about me and calls me like 50 times. I've been so crazy for her this whole year. I would seriously re-live the last 17 years of my life just to be with her.
I don't even know what the fuck I am asking here. I am just so confused and this is a huge wall of text, even if no one reads this, its at least helping me clear out my thoughts in a way. But any advice or anything on what I can do would help. I'm sure a majority will say, just forget her....but thats like so out of the question.
*and once again, sorry for it being this long and all over the place....but its hard to think straight ya know.
