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I have a dilemma. I guess she is interested because she likes to hang out and she calls me and she yelled at me for not saying hi to her today. We have fun when we are together and we smoke together which is great. She is 3 years older than me. She's 1/4 Syrian and I think that makes her more appealing to me because I love Arab looking chicks although she is German too like me. But she is currently separated and has 3 kids.
Do you think I should date her? I am still in college.
I only met her kids like once. One is like 9 I believe but the others are really little. Her ex threatened to kill her so I'm a little upset about that.
Yikes! 3 kids...she is probably cool to hang out with, but in the end I am sure she is looking for someone to help take care of those rugrats.
Be careful...
My wife had 2 kids when i started hooking up with her, 8yrs later turned out to be the best decision I have ever made. Take it as it goes you never know.
for me particularily it would depend on my financial situation i think..because i love kids and i know i wouldnt mind a bit. i would just want to know i could afford it haha.
I'm dating a chick with a kid. Granted, the kid lives with her father in another state. She's really nice and makes me happy, but I wonder what issues she's hiding since the father has the child!
If she's separated instead of actually divorced, that's a sticky situation. Especially if she's already had her estranged spouse threaten to kill her. Considering that, you might give her time to get fully divorced. If he is a violent nut, you could be at risk if you began dating her.
When the time's right, dating sounds harmless enough. But be very careful about getting serious. A young woman with three kids is very likely looking for another husband to help her raise and support them. A built-in family like that is a huge responsibility for someone who's just in college or just about to finish. You might also note that she's clearly pretty fertile, so use birth control!
Too many puppies !!!
Peace
Crispi :jointsmile:
Hey man I'm only 19 and I'm starting to get really close with an old co-worker of mine who's 24 and has the most adorable little girl. If anything her having kids could bring you guys closer.
at least wait until the husband is fully out of the picture. If he finds out shes seeing someone it might make him even angrier.
A good idea would be to have her tell her kids that you are only her friend and nothing more, so that way you are not some minor father figure to them. Once you become a sort of father figure in any way, shit can get fucked damn quick
honestly, I wouldn't date her considering she has three kids...unless you're THAT interested in her. If I was in your boat it would be a good time for me to have a friend with benefits...see where things go man, don't need a serious relationship like that though when you're trying to get through college and get your life headed down the right path...hope it helps man, good luck :thumbsup:Quote:
Originally Posted by TheBigOne45
B-A-G-G-A-G-E!!!!
lol exactly...that's why I suggested fwb, it meets that criteria for me :)Quote:
Originally Posted by rebgirl420
Never get into a relationship with someone freash outta a relationship, or a divorce, and give yourself at least 6 months till you get involved again.
Many humans just are not thinking correctly with fresh wounds, wounds we cant see.
Time cures all things, give her and yourself time to really get to know each other...have a few fights, some compromises, some differences in opinion. It's always easy to get along with your exact copy, but how many times do we find that in a mate?
Best to you and your lady!!
I personally love being around kids, I believe they are much closer to God than adults, but thats just me. What it really comes down to in a relationship is whether she has qualities that would make it an endure. It sounds like you fall for the Arabic women just like I do ( I am actually taking Arabic Linguistics in college ) Do what you feel is right tho man, and I wouldn't let the kids play that big of a role in whether or not you will date her. Dating isn't permanent, and like Boxer says time cures all things. The best of luck to ya'
When dating a woman with children remember this... ya gotta pet the calf to get to the cow
At this point and time in history I'd be a bit leary about pissing off some Syrian dude. Unless you see her as the love of your life you may just want to take three steps back.Quote:
Originally Posted by napolitana869
Have a good one!:jointsmile:
It's not the kids that you shoudl be worried about... children can be wonderful... it's the unresolved divorce and violent ex.
One of my very closest friends is single, late 30s, and lives in a very rural area with limited dating opportunities.. there simply ARE no women his age WITHOUT kids... I commented on it once and he shrugged it off saying, there is no better indicator of the character of a parent, than the attitudes which they instill into their children. And yes, he has dumped girlfriends immediately after discovering that their children are ill-brought-up. Just a bit of cud to chew on.
i wouldnt want to raise someone elses kids. it isnt right if you ask me and i am someone who had a step mom for most of his childhoood. god knows if i had kids i wouldnt want some other guy raising them. and the fact is the kids no, that no matter what you ever say to them, their mother is the reason you are there whether you like them or not, you are there for her, not the kids. that is why i never liked my stepmom. she was nice to me for the most part, but there is just no getting around that fact. so i think it is wrong, but people are doing it all the time, so give it a whirl.
My stepfather did a hell of a job raising me and my brother, far better than my father -bless his heart- could have from so far away.
Of course, I suppose this is all moot, as the thread starter seems to have got himself a bannage...
You gtotta think about this dude, she has 3 kids and she probably is looking for some help with them. If you think she is cool continue hangin with her but don't take it to the next level until the husband is outta the picture he might REALLY get pissed if he knew she was with someone else.
Well,
I say tell her you are interested in being her friend but you are not ready for any serious situations. If this woman is intelligent she'll see that her situation will require time to adjust. If she is looking to find a new daddy this month then you'll find yourself trapped feeding them and yourself real soon. So take it real slow and she may show you if she developed in skills in the bed with no stress and no expectation.
Loco
Ok lets recap, you are in college, and some girl you met that has kids with a crazy ex is interested in you. WTF are you doing? Come on man, you are in college, don't waste your time with drama like that!
Women with kids usually want a relationship, at first they won't act like it, they'll put their kid on the backburner and act like they are not a big part of their life, but the reality is they are so don't be so naive to think you can just have a relationship with her and not her kids (or crazy ex, since he will most likely be in the relationship whether you want to or not).
It's not a good idea, and if you are in college why are you even thinking about relationships? Stay single and mingle, you are in your prime so don't waste it on one girl! You have plenty of time to have a relationship later on in your life, but right now that is the last thing you should be focusing on.
Seriously, stop thinking with your penis, you gave enough good reasons why this woman is not someone you should be involved with lol But with that said, she sounds hot, any pics? :P
you might not even have to worry so much about the kids. most people are very protective of their children and wouldn't bring just any person around them. i know people with kids who don't even introduce their s/o to their kids unless it's really serious like engagement.
just remember, hotdog in a hallway..the girl can fix that herself if she tries.
If it's alright with you that she has kids, then great. Go for it.
I, personally, wouldn't date a girl with kids, because I don't have any. It's a real burden on somebody without kids, to all of the sudden, get thrust into a parental role.