a letter to a old friend

i wanted to get this off my chest, its botherd me for years thinking about it and im unsure if i should send it or am i beating the dead horse with this one.

its long but good..................

you know jon it still to this day amazes me why you dont ever talk to me or audrey, it has now been about 3yrs and we still to this day dont speak, i realized along time ago are friendship would never be the same, or will it ever be the same.

i do not want to be your friend, this is not meant to try to mend anything between us because i no longer feel a friendship would ever work out, but do not take this as a bashing letter.

we always did end up bumping heads, we would always argue and fight over the stupidest of shit, i just dont think we made good friends when it came to certain things in life.

i did not try to step on you in any way, i never meant to hurt you, and it was never my intention of us not being friends, nor did i ever try back stab you in anyway.

though you may think differently of everything and im sure you do i have never hated you for it, infact i sometimes wished things were much different for us sometimes, you really were the only person i could really try and share music and games with, for some reason i felt you never accepted me, i could never live up to craigs standards as a friend and i never tried too, its a pity we couldnt more get along as we used to.

when you came back from living in louisiana you came back a changed person for life, you were no longer you and for what ever reasons you became someone else, i want you to remember that it was me and audrey who helped you out in the end of all that mess and we didnt say much of anything about it. we cared more of your safety than anything else and having you back home was a great thing except you somehow didnt feel quite the same about it.

now on the subject of me and audrey.....

i cant help i liked audrey and i never planned on getting together with her behind your back, i know this was the biggest dent in our friendship, after me and audrey started dating you didnt even want to hang out with us after time went on, you kept claiming you felt like the third wheel and im sorry you felt that way but that was your hang up and we tried not to make you feel any less of a friend to us.

we tried for the longest time to get you to come out but you choose to stay home and be by yourself playing with the computer and xbox rather spend time with us, that to me was really lame of you and im sorry if you took this offensive but we dont want to stay indoors and waste life away when there is so much to be had elsewhere.

when me and audrey found out we were having a baby our friendship was basically to its brittle end and when you ignored the fact that we sent you pictures of our baby and you couldnt even write us back a "hey fuck you" or anything and just acted like we didnt even exist, thats when i told myself i dont need friends like that.

i wish it could be diffrent but i lived to face the fact that we dont make the best of friends and im ok with that, i just want you to know i still think about us, and i hold no regret for what has happened, you made a great friend, but we lost it.

its ok to say hi to me if we ever meet again as i hold no grudge against you,

your old friend

Please don't send that letter.
You'd only be wasting someones time,
and most likely their emotional response.
Keep it to yourself, be proud of your emotional honesty, but there is absolutely no good to come of it, and if I was this kid receiving this letter i'd be pretty fucking annoyed at you.

wow...you seem like such a dick

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Originally Posted by rebgirl420

wow...you seem like such a dick

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wow, that was blatant...

invision, i like you babe; i think you are a great guy; but i think you are also a little self absorbed...

you see, people go different ways in life. sometimes a bond between freinds can last a lifetime, some times only a few hours in a crucial bind. but, it's not the parting that we should obsess over, it's the times that make the relationship truely valuable. so he's not your blood bro now, i'm sure that at one time you had a great time together...

don't send the letter. live and let die.

imo...

hahah scarlet, yeah it came out very blunt. But I dont like to "beat around the bush".

hmmm, i noticed...

sometimes though, imo, a little tact is better. ;)

I suppose haha

last word.... :p

i dunno i think the three of you are judging it fast....

fi we're to offer any feed back, we need thw whole story.. from friendship to the obvious seperation..

but i have to agree, nothing good could realy come of the letter.. it seems more like an attack, but with phrases that make it seem like you're trying ot make it NOT seem like an attack, although it still is.. i dunno if that makes sense...?

i'm not sure what happened, but i definately think you guys need to work it out... not work it out as become friends again, but things ended on bad terms are never good for any party...

you obviously have alot of feelings, as i'm sure he does (if you guys were best friends, there's of course alot of feelings involved) and i don't think i'd be wrong ot assume she probably has some feeling in it as well...

w/e action you take, if you don't 'solve' or hash this shit out now, i can promise you'll regret it years down the line, no matter how bad you think you 'hate' him now.. eventually it'll wear down on your conscience.. and by then it may be too late to say the things you so obviously want to say right now.

oh yeah, just some advice in this type of situation shoudl you decide to deal with it all... there's going to be alot fo listening and not a whole lot of talking.. well, atelast how it seems to you... it's only natural to have like 100 things to say to the 'offensive' person's 1... but you have to stay civil and patient...

nothing ever gets worked out by yelling over the other, or dismissing what he says... stay calm, let him speak his peace, keep it civil, no need for insults or 'well yeah you do XXXX' crap... if he interupts you, still be kind and say something along the liens of "i've let you speak your peice, may i speak mine"...

btw, my rules obviously tie into live contact... personally, the more personal, the better... if you're both 'there' you can see the experessions of the other, and see how geniunely it's affected them...

these are just my tips of course... you can still chooose to send that letter, but i promise you, after a few years, you're gonna wish you didn't and even more so, took my advice..

Nothing positive can come out of this letter.

It is good you expressed yourself and all but the letter will not generate anything but hostility.
I would just let it go.

I wouldn't send it if i wereyou...its probably good that you were able to get your thoughts down onto paper, but sending it wont help anything, as you clearly don't want to be friends with this person, and he obviously doesen't want anything to do with you...


solike the others said...live and let live...

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Originally Posted by Scarlet Sky

wow, that was blatant...

invision, i like you babe; i think you are a great guy; but i think you are also a little self absorbed...

you see, people go different ways in life. sometimes a bond between freinds can last a lifetime, some times only a few hours in a crucial bind. but, it's not the parting that we should obsess over, it's the times that make the relationship truely valuable. so he's not your blood bro now, i'm sure that at one time you had a great time together...

don't send the letter. live and let die.

imo...

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I love Scarlet Sky :thumbsup:

dont send it dude. im sure your not, but all that letter will do is make you look like an asshole.

Alls i know is that seemeed heavy. Iv lost friends before, its not fun at all.

well before you guys think im the dick its a odd situation, we were friends for over 10yrs and we did argue over some dumb stuff but i did value his friendship, he though he was always better than everyone he walked by and had a biggest ego of anyone i ever met, generally i am a nice person but we couldnt get along im some cases.

we both had a mutual friend who was a girl, he use to date her back in school and still had feeling even though they broke up and was a few years later, she no longer had those feeling for him and didnt want anything other than the friendship they had, at the time he seemed quite ok with the way things were between them.

one night a drunk drivers smashed up audreys car and i later took her home and we hung out for a few hours and she kissed me, i did like her a whole lot and felt like a asshole for doing it on part of him but she didnt want him and I wanted her, we started dating and from then on our friendship went strait down hill.

i know i look like the asshole here but giving the situation at the time i dont feel guilty about it anymore, i tried my hardest keeping in touch with him he just grew apart from me and later isolated himself from the world not just me.

i helped this person when he had nothing in life, his mom hated him, he had next to zero friends, i gave him money when he was out and took him out to eat when he had nothing.

i was a good friend to him we just let a girl ruin it for us.

it still blows his mind im with her and which is the reason we dont talk, its a shame really we had great times together despite the worst in us.

and yes Rebgirl i can be a dickhead but only he will fully understand this letter.

bro's b4 ho's lol just kiddin.

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Originally Posted by Greenport

bro's b4 ho's lol just kiddin.

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i would normally agree with you but i cannot live a life alone like he wanted too, i dont know if he was afraid of woman or what but he just didnt seem interested in dating anyone, i even went out of my way and tried to pick up girls for him and he just didnt want anything to do with it.

what can i say at that point?

Your friend seems unstable... He doesnt want to get married and have a family?

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Originally Posted by Greenport

Your friend seems unstable... He doesnt want to get married and have a family?

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thats just it i dont know....

he told me one day in a pissy snotty way that i CANNOT comprehend his feelings, he says i just wouldnt understand it, but he never even attempted to explain how he really felt, if he just said he was upset at life and they way he was going i very well could understand where he came from, he treated me like a dummy sometimes and that made me feel like i didnt belong.

another thing that bothered me was we all played music growing up, he had a friend(craig) who also played music but somehow i was never invited to jam with them and he treated craig like a king and me like shit when it came to certain things.

this did always upset me with him like i just wasnt good enough in his eyes or something, after we parted way i havent really picked up my guitar like i use to as it brings back some bad memories.

i never cheated him out of nothing its just dumb stuff like how i wasnt allowed to interupt him and craigs alone time and if i wanted to go to guitar center with them both its was like i asked him to have a 3 way with me, it just wouldnt happen.

he might be in love with her man. like LOOVVEEEEE. like uhm stalker psycho killer crazy love. but seriously, maybe he wants her, thats why hes not going with any other ladies. Thats the most resonable explenation.

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Originally Posted by Greenport

he might be in love with her man. like LOOVVEEEEE. like uhm stalker psycho killer crazy love. but seriously, maybe he wants her, thats why hes not going with any other ladies. Thats the most resonable explenation.

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that was probly true back then but i would imagine by now he would have understood more but nope, there have been plenty of times i wanted to stop at his house and see what the situation is today, but im afriad he will still think i hold regret towards him but he actually didnt want to hang out with me after time went on.

Yeah your friend seems emotionally unstable... He might be stuck in a phase that he just cant get passed..

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Originally Posted by Greenport

Yeah your friend seems emotionally unstable... He might be stuck in a phase that he just cant get passed..

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me and him had plans on moving out together away from the life we once knew here but when it came time he decided it was better for him to stay where he was, he later moved out with a older woman (42yrs old) who basiclly took him in as her own son, he never did explain why this woman was so important to him and i know it wasnt anything sexual between them.

he never talked to me again after i had a baby and he moved out......weird.

I dunno what to say to that. This cat seems to me like he needs a Shrink.

i talked to him about getting help but he insisted he didnt need any hes just stuck in life and he would manage his own way out.....i have still yet to see what ever happened after he left but im sure he is the same old person i knew back then.

i agree with slip

but personally it would be a bit random kinda like waking up to find you on there couch sniffing the seats. you know a bit weird like ;)

The dude is gay,,,give him a BJ not a letter...

i thought maybe he is gay but that wouldnt have mattered to me, anyways i think i may visit him rather sending him something as the letter does seem like im being a dick.

anyways time will tell what i do

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Originally Posted by invision

i cant help i liked audrey and i never planned on getting together with her behind your back

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yikes, man; that's no good

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Originally Posted by Billionfold

Is your friend you by any chance?

If not then never mind.

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read the thread man :wtf:

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Originally Posted by whitestalkslongwalks

yikes, man; that's no good

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well my man she was free game for quite some time so what can i say, all i know is one day ill be marrying this girl so i guess life works out wierd ways.