Post Your Favorite Joke.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Greenport

this guy comes from a bars poolroom and sits down and says that he could piss in the farthest cup away from him, and if he does it he wants 100 dollars. The bartender says Alright go ahead. The guy pisses all over the place, even on the bartender but not in the cup. The bartender just laughs at him and says well you dont get your 100 dollers. The guy who made the bet starts laughing. When the bartender asks him why hes laughing the guy says "Because I made a bet with the guys in the back room for 500 dollars and I could piss all over your bar and even on you and you wouldent get angry" its kinda stupid :P but ya know

---

wasnt this one in the movie desperado???

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Classic, they don't write em like those anymore.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Reefer Rogue

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Classic, they don't write em like those anymore.

---

....lol that reminds me of another..........Why did the pervert cross the road???............His cock was still in the chicken.

Question

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

Answer

I'll tell you later.

You Are Driving In A Car At A Constant Speed. On Your Left Side Is A Valley And On Your Right Side Is A Fire Engine Traveling At The Same Speed As You.

In Front Of You Is A Galloping Pig Which Is The Same Size As Your Car And You Cannot Overtake It. Behind You Is A Helicopter Flying At Ground Level.

Both The Giant Pig And The Helicopter Are Also Traveling At The Same Speed As You.

What Must You Do To Safely Get Out Of This Highly Dangerous Situation?


Answer:

Get Off The Children's Merry Go Round, You're Stoned.

Just In Case You Ever Get These Two Environments Mixed Up
This Should Make Things A Little Bit Clearer.

IN PRISON ....... You Spend The Majority Of Your Time In A 10X10 Cell.
AT WORK ......... You Spend The Majority Of Your Time In An 8X8 Cubicle.

IN PRISON ....... You Get Three Meals A Day.
AT WORK ......... You Get A Break For One Meal And You Have To Pay For It.

IN PRISON ....... You Get Time Off For Good Behavior.
AT WORK ......... You Get More Work For Good Behavior.

IN PRISON ....... The Guard Locks And Unlocks All The Doors For You.
AT WORK ......... You Must Often Carry A Security Card And Open All The Doors
For Yourself.

IN PRISON ....... You Can Watch TV And Play Games.
AT WORK ......... You Could Get Fired For Watching TV And Playing Games.

IN PRISON ....... You Get Your Own Toilet.
AT WORK ......... You Have To Share The Toilet With Some People Who Peed On The Seat.

IN PRISON ....... They Allow Your Family And Friends To Visit.
AT WORK ......... You Aren't Even Supposed To Speak To Your Family.

IN PRISON ....... All Expenses Are Paid By The Taxpayers With No Work Required.
AT WORK ......... You Get To Pay All Your Expenses To Go To Work, And They
Deduct Taxes From Your Salary To Pay For Prisoners.

IN PRISON ....... You Spend Most Of Your Life Inside Bars Wanting To Get Out.
AT WORK ......... You Spend Most Of Your Time Wanting To Get Out And Go Inside Bars.

IN PRISON ....... You Must Deal With Sadistic Wardens.
AT WORK ......... They Are Called Managers.

Now Get Back To Work. You're Not Getting Paid To Check E-Mails

if u smell somerhin funky, its probably me, .....

cuz i'm the shit:rastasmoke:

One day, three boys were walking over a bridge when they heard a guy yelling for help.


It was President Bush. He was drowning, and the three boys rescued him. He thanked them dearly and promised them whatever they wanted as a reward.


The first boy wanted $10,000, so Bush gave him the money.The second boy wanted a ferrari, so Bush gave him a ferrari.


The third boy wanted a wheelchair, Bush said, "Why do you want one of those, son, you're not handicapped."


The boy replied, "I will be when my dad finds out whose life i saved."

Whats brown and looks like a stick.



Answer: A stick


NCM