Hi, I'm new to these boards.

lets have a group hug i sense the moment

can u feel the love

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Originally Posted by del...

now that wouldn't be a bad way of going about it...issue him a challenge and let him toke a bit only AFTER he maintains a b average...? but still he is young and needs to realize there are places and times for it...but that should happen with that b average.

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A beter way of going about it would be to say his grades have to be the same or better. Because if he couldn't get a B average before asking him to get a b average now would be difficult. Tell him if his grades drop you won't allow him to smoke. Unless theres a good reason like getting a lower grade in a class he's struggling in. Really just tell him he has to put fourth maximum effort or he won't be aloud to smoke.

Polaris,

I would have to say that I definitely respect the way you are handling this. It's not just the steps you've taken but the fact that you are intelligent and open minded enough that you sought information from an obviously educated source. Most parents would simply look at the legal and moral issues and clamp down with an iron fist. This simply does not work. You have to find a balance of heavy handedness and simple understanding. It seems that you are trying to find this very thing and should be commended for your efforts. Too many parents go to one extreme or the other, and that's why we have some many screwed up young adults. I was the youngest of 6 and by the time the parents got around to me they had very fair and understanding parameters that I respected because my friends did not have them. Some ran wild and some could not do anything. The result is that I am just about the only kid that made it out of our neighborhood and made anything of themselves. As a sidenote, my parents managed to have all 6 of us graduate in 3 different decades in a neighborhood most would not want to visit let alone live in.

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Originally Posted by God v2.0

FOR ONE! Pot is against the law and so there are SERIOUS and very REAL repercussions when you get caught, it doesnt matter if the laws are right or not because the consequences are the same either way. You have to be a fucking idiot not to see that.

Polaris, i think that you should be very firm, hit your son as hard as you can and tell him that if he does it again then you're gonna have him arrested, its going to make you son very mad and hes gonna rebel, he will think he is above your authority but he isn't if hes 15 then you own him and you control him so USE THAT AUTHORITY DONT BE A PANSY (have dad do it if you cant)

Dont let the little punk get away with whatever he wants, thats bullshit. You're ruining your son if you just let him do what he wants, he already has a CRIMINAL RECORD at age 15. If i were that kids parent i would beat him to within an inch of his life unless he proved that he was fixing the shit he made of his life.

Now of course you should take that with a grain of salt because im one extreme guy. But you have to lay down the law, if you dont now then you haven't in the past and all that gonna happen is you're gonna release another degenerate with no discipline into society where he is gonna fail, and whos fault is that? YOURS. Take some god damn responsibility, you raised him and let him know that. You put a roof over his head and feed him, don't let him use you and then wind up fucked up.


A more rational solution would be to limit him to only smoking on the weekends AFTER he has proven that he did all his homework. You should set up guidelines for him as well, like he can have a friend over and get high if he reads a book (Get some Kurt Vonnegut, like slaughterhouse 5 or cat's cradle, its fun, entertaining and mind expanding to read books, PLUS it will instill good habits in your son that will enrich his life and make it more worth living for him)

But bottom line don't let the boy control you, or threaten you because YOU are the boss not him (dont lord it over him because it will piss him off but he needs to understand that his actions have SERIOUS consequences)


REAL LIFE IS FUCKING HARD! SO DON'T LET HIM START IT UNPREPARED...

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that is fucked up...if you were my dad id kill myself.

Hello, I am also new to this board. Just had to get that out of the way..
But Polaris, when I was around the age of 15, I got caught with weed at school and was in sort of the same situation your son is in. My home life was fucked up but after i got arrested i went to a "rehab" center and cut down on my smoking. I still smoke today and have a great family life and am doing good in school. So what im saying is get him some help and let him see the bad shit that can happen from unresponsible pot smoking and he may relise that other things should come before weed.

Hi. Just a quick update.

I've got yet another meeting with his head teacher on Weds morning. At the last one I asked for him to be referred to a local drug awareness organization. Which they've agreed to do.

I'm hoping that he might take on board advice from someone who is impartial and not an authority figure.

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Originally Posted by Polaris

Hi. Just a quick update.

I've got yet another meeting with his head teacher on Weds morning. At the last one I asked for him to be referred to a local drug awareness organization. Which they've agreed to do.

I'm hoping that he might take on board advice from someone who is impartial and not an authority figure.

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Does he know what you are doing??? Are you open about it???


I'm not saying you have to condone whats going on,but you need to convey your love for him and accept his decision unconditionally... You need to approach him as an adult and by all means he needs to feel that not smoking during school or smoking as recreation only is his decision...

Education is good,but if he feels you are constricting,confining or commanding him,,, he will break free in retaliation or spite,you did tell him what you are doing???

I do want to see him post here and see his views,everyone is different and blanket advice may not help you at all... If he is not allowed to see this thread it just proves you are not open with him,,,if he is not allowed to post to this thread it proves the same thing...

Finally my question about Dad was ignored why???

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Originally Posted by Polaris

Hi. Just a quick update.

I've got yet another meeting with his head teacher on Weds morning. At the last one I asked for him to be referred to a local drug awareness organization. Which they've agreed to do.

I'm hoping that he might take on board advice from someone who is impartial and not an authority figure.

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ok um. if hes done any research or knows anything, a local drug awareness orginazation is simply going to put him in a room with a ton of anti-drug people who are to him, going to appear as flaming homosexuals who simply dont know what the fuck theyre talking about and hes going to rebel. atleast thats what i would do if my parents did that to me. i duno, i wish we could offer you more advice but i think youve got what most of us think in the last 2 pages of this thread.

peace.

atleast its not crack!

Hello and welcome to the boards :D

Do you spend alot of time together like going places etc?Maybe you could use the carrot and stick method,tell him if he does well in his exams you will do something to celebrate with him.If you show how much doing well in his exams mean to you he may take notice.The reason i'm saying this is because by your description of your son he is a good lad and not a waster like most are so you are quite lucky really.You could show him a list of jobs he will be doing if he does crap at school too or ask McDonalds if they will employ him for the day if that don't change him I don't know what will.