Hi, I'm new to these boards.

[Polaris]

And also a concerned parent of a 15yr old son. Don't all gang up on me! I'm here to try to learn about Cannabis and understand why he feels the need to use it.

I've known about his use since the summer of 2005, and have gone through all the usual parenty type of reactions: Shock, horror, despair...the end is nigh... that sort of thing.

I've spoken to a lot of organisations and his school about it, but it seems that as long as he's not refusing to go to school, stealing cars, using heroin or involved in any other misdemeanours, I've not got a problem.

Things came to a head last week, as he was caught smoking weed at school. Which then involved him being arrested, interviewed by the police, finger-printed, photographed and a DNA sample taken. He's also been excluded from school, possibly untill Easter.

My main concern is that he sits his final exams in a couple of months and is not putting in the work needed. He'd rather meet up with his mates and get stoned. What with that, and the exclusion, I'm starting to worry that he won't get to sit his exams at all.

Having said all that, he's not a bad lad. I've not had a lot of trouble with him. But his grades have plummeted since last summer and I'm concerned about his future.

Have any of you got any tales to tell that could put my mind to rest?

Many thanks. Polaris.

Polaris Reviewed by Polaris on 03-28-2006. Hi, I'm new to these boards. And also a concerned parent of a 15yr old son. Don't all gang up on me! I'm here to try to learn about Cannabis and understand why he feels the need to use it. I've known about his use since the summer of 2005, and have gone through all the usual parenty type of reactions: Shock, horror, despair...the end is nigh... that sort of thing. I've spoken to a lot of organisations and his school about it, but it seems that as long as he's not refusing to go to school, stealing cars, using heroin Rating: 5

[friendowl]

have you ever asked him sincerly why he smokes bud.
each of us smoke for different reasons.
maybe it unlocks his creativity.
maybe he likes to laugh.
maybe it calms his nerves
there are many reasons you gotta know your kid 100%
maybe you should smoke with him to understand

[eddievanzant]

You should go to your local newspaper and tell them your school going son who stays out of trouble is in big trouble just because he happens to like recreational marijuana use. They might make a story about it.

[mrdevious]

I would suggest agreeing on a compromise with him. Let him smoke on the weekends, stay clear on school days. The important thing isn't whether or not he uses it, but that he uses it responsibly. Some people just aren't responsible enough to know not to smoke during school, before tests, before work etc. I'd really emphasize that you'll be cool with it if he proves to you that he can still keep his life together while smoking. Just really lay it down on him that he's determining whether or not he's earned your trust and respect.

[Az.]

I really don't know what to say...
At the end of the day it is up to your son, the work he puts into school, wether or not he smokes weed at school etc etc
lol there really isn't alot I could say that you don't already know, just sit down and talk to him about it...be reasonable.
As friendowl said people use it for many reasons...ask him why, you might get a more accurate answer than asking us why he uses it...he might not even know.
....
I used to smoke a hell of a lot more than I do now.....and I noticed that it was effecting my school work...so I cut down to just smoking on weekends, and that seems to be working fine for me....
To be honest getting stoned in school is probably one of the worst things he (students in general) can do!

But yeah just talk to him and try to understand and see it from his point of view....hopefully he will be honest about it.



Edit: Good points mrdevious!

[del...]

well, you've heard from his peers, now hear from one of yours...

he's 15, he fucked up and got caught yet he still is allowed to go out and hang with his buds??? come on dad, do you think that will go over well with the judge? he shouldn't be partying when he should be in school...it's like rewarding him for being a fuckup! if you're not going to make him keep up on his schoolwork then at least put him to work so he knows when he goes against the rules there will be repercussions.

[friendowl]

polaris dont listen to del.
he's like the all american generic dad
who cares about the judge.
what's more important is having a good relationship with him.
if he is happy in his life he will automatically want a good future.
once he's content things will improve.
dont be a dorky dad your kid needs you to be understanding
do you smoke yourself?

[Psycho4Bud]

Here's another ol' timer dad. My rule to my boy was that school came first, after his first responsibility was done....homework...THEN he could go out without a bad word about what he did. He knew right up front though what the consequences were going to be for messing up at school. We sat down and agreed on the amount of days grounding for a screw-up. A days grounding didn't mean sitting in his room, on the phone, or playing video games either. A good days worth of work for the ol' man. He just LOVED to scrap the road tar from my quarter panels of the car!:thumbsup:

[del...]

he's 15, already in trouble with the law and close to being expelled (and who knows what else!). he needs more than a hug from dear old dad...

[Psycho4Bud]

Start bucking horns to hard and it'll esculate. By the way, when I found out the boy toked I told him that I would prefer if he were to do it in his room. I'd rather he was in the safety of his own home instead of getting busted trying to hide somewhere out on the streets doing it.

Good luck to you and yours!!!:thumbsup: