I don't really like to talk when i'm stoned cause i just feel like i'm saying the dumbest shit when I do. I just like listening to people try to talk.
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I don't really like to talk when i'm stoned cause i just feel like i'm saying the dumbest shit when I do. I just like listening to people try to talk.
I turned to my friend Tiff to tell her a story and it starts out like this...
"Tiff, I was at my neices birthday party and ... oh wait it wasn't a birthday party, there were just a lot of ppl there and we were eating."
Oh and I asked Tiff if I could borrow her kitten to freak my Mom out and make her think I brought home a stray. So I pick the kitten up and said," Dayum!!! This cat smells like shit."
Tiff: "Yea, I know. I haven't gotten a chance to give tha cat a bath."
Me: "Do you have a Ziploc?"
Tiff: "WHAT?!"
Went down the corner store where a guy that always hooked us up worked at and he was there. We were drunk and stoned as fuck and usually we just come in. load up on munchies and drinks and leave. I walked straight up to him and said "You know there's strange shit going on and I figured that I was gonna damn man fuck" And he just started laughing..then I went and bought a bunch of shit and it came out to 30.05 and I gave him a bunch of money and said keep the tip the service was great .. He gave me my money back and said Take it Easy want me to walk you home.
"I'm okay walking back to did i forget something?"
I once recited the direct debit mandate from my old job after too many pills :eek:
Ok so my friend was telling me this made up story about how he had sex with this lady in a dollar store and then she was insane and tried to kill him so shoved chips down her throat to keep her busy but she turned into a kangaroo and did magic and stuff. and when he was done my other friend was like
"wow wait a minute i have to clear something up right here.......what kind of chips were they"
and i nearly crashed my car i was laughing so hard
oh yeah i forgot. and another time i was riding (sober) with my friend (stoned) and he turned around to me and almsot yelled "i have legs......AND THEY JIGGLE" i almost cried
lmaoQuote:
Originally Posted by UserName AlphaNiner
LMAOQuote:
Originally Posted by UserName AlphaNiner
Hm, stoned as hell, I struggled with a soda machine with a friend of mine for like five minutes laughing my fucking ass off because the machine decided to rip me off. I keep punching buttons and shit and this bald guy gives me the weirdest ass backwards look like :eek:. After a few minutes my friend is like.. "you only put in 81 cents.."
Then another time I was having a little late night barbecue with two of my friends.
Me: You.. stoner!
Friend: Your... FRIEND! (as opposed to your mom)
Guess you'd have to have been there. We laughed for a day and a half. Weed<3 :cool:
i once suggested, to smoke a bowl in steak n shake's bathroom...and actually thinking it was a good idea.
i say all kinds of funny shit when i'm high, and lots of dumb shit.
" The world is a banana sport water bottle!!"
One time some friends and I were blazed and cruised through the McDonalds drive thru, red-eyed and happy. After we got the food, I looked the fast food guy straight in the eye and said, "Thanks for the food, man. I'm a big fan of your work." And we drove off.
One other night, we had a half of regs, a pack of swishers, and nowhere to be. We rolled up all the weed into blunts, and just started passing them. About 7 or 8 g's into the stash, I fell asleep. Apparently, they finished off the half when a friend came over with another 1/4, rolled it, adn started passing. All I remember of that is somebody shaking me and saying, "here, hit this!" to me. I open my eyes, sit up, hit the blunt, and fall right back asleep again.
The best part is, I watched Half Baked a year later and they did that with The Guy on the Couch. I was blazed when I saw it, and I laughed for a good 5 minutes straight.
had something similar happen to me and some friends. It was during the wee hours of the morning and we had rolled a blunt, shane had already passed out on the couch from drinking and non-stop smoking since it was a special occasion. Well I see his girl Ashley hit the blunt and go to pass it to him but then realized he was asleep. She did try to wake him but failed. So instead she just held the blunt to his lips and it was as if it was a reflex, never moved or opened his eyes, he just toked on it a good 3 or 4 times and ashley passed it and a couple of seconds later you see him exhale.. we all cracked up.Quote:
Originally Posted by Goodman3eb