Hi, I'm new to these boards.

For one I think your a cool Mom... I like the fact that you are seeking advice,I've not been here long ,but don't recall to many who sought the boards for guidance,Kudos...

Your son likes smoking pot more than school,Why???? He is more than likely pulling the wool over your eyes... You do sound a bit lenient,I don't know if that's good or bad... You need him to open up to you and running around finding a solution will widen the gap... More One On One would be my first step...

If this was my task and I thought he was rebelling with pot,,,I would try to make pot a useless tool to rebel with...

Lets get back to the cool Mom,,, I think your son needs to find out how cool you can be... I think he needs to feel you are out for his interest,but instead I believe he feels you are the enemy,again I believe the solution is more one on one and less running around finding a solution...

Is there a dad in this mix??? if so what is his take??? does he care??? is he part of the problem.... Is he there to help???



Good luck cause you gonna need it...

PS: I grew up in a dysfunctional family and smoked pot to escape pain and fear of the future...

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Originally Posted by Polaris

And also a concerned parent of a 15yr old son. Don't all gang up on me! I'm here to try to learn about Cannabis and understand why he feels the need to use it.

I've known about his use since the summer of 2005, and have gone through all the usual parenty type of reactions: Shock, horror, despair...the end is nigh... that sort of thing.

I've spoken to a lot of organisations and his school about it, but it seems that as long as he's not refusing to go to school, stealing cars, using heroin or involved in any other misdemeanours, I've not got a problem. :confused:

Things came to a head last week, as he was caught smoking weed at school. Which then involved him being arrested, interviewed by the police, finger-printed, photographed and a DNA sample taken. He's also been excluded from school, possibly untill Easter.

My main concern is that he sits his final exams in a couple of months and is not putting in the work needed. He'd rather meet up with his mates and get stoned. What with that, and the exclusion, I'm starting to worry that he won't get to sit his exams at all.

Having said all that, he's not a bad lad. I've not had a lot of trouble with him. But his grades have plummeted since last summer and I'm concerned about his future.

Have any of you got any tales to tell that could put my mind to rest?

Many thanks. Polaris.

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I understand your concern. You should sit down and talk with him. Tell me your ok with smoking cannabis, as long as he use's it responbily, im 15 also and i also have some exams coming up soon (GCSE exams) my dad knows i smoke and dos'nt mind as long as i use it responbly. Im not going to smoke when it come's nearer to my exams, which is a choice i chose on my own. Tell him that you would rather have him smoke it at home where you know hes safe and is not going to get arrested, and not at school (and not to go to school stoned), what you could do is ask him to only smoke cannabis on the weekends, this way you won't have to worry about him and school and you've just got to make sure he's using it responbily. He does sound like a normal lad, but obvoiusly if his grades are down then he needs to cut down on the toking a bit. But if he can feel that he can talk to you about it then it will help him alot :) I hope you get everything sorted out and have him get the best grades he could possibly have. Peace.

P.S: lol, i think its pretty sweet you came on a cannabis forum to ask other stoners :p

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Originally Posted by Polaris

I tried it in my youth, but didn't like the way it made me feel, and haven't touched it since.

A couple of my friends smoke it recreationally. I feel that as long as it's used sensibly and responsibly then it's no worse than drinking socially.

In fact in some ways it's better than drinking socially because you never see a bunch of stoned people rampaging around the streets after closing time causing trouble.

I suppose my main concern that it's illegal and I don't want my son to have criminal record (which he managed to escape 'this' time) and be constanly in trouble with the law.

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Well yeah, i guess if you "allowed" him, this could put you in shit too. But if he's responible enough and you explain to him very carefully not to let ANYONE know your cool with him smoking it, and that you only want him smoking on the weekends and to be VERY carefull, then i think he would be able to do that, and if he refuses to do this then i would just say that how im giving him the oppurtunity to do something on his own and be responsible for what hes doing, and that your giving him a chance to take responibilty and act adult about this whole thing. But yeah, dont come down hard on his ass like Del said, this will just push you and your son further away from each other, and he'll still be doing these things you don't want him doing (or doing them even more just to spite you). So yeah, my advice is to have a nice adult conversation with him about all this, and remember to remind him that your only doing this for his own good. But yeah, asking him to only toke on the weedends should help his grades improve.

Wow! Thanks for all the replies.

Several of you suggested sharing a spliff/bong with him.... personally I would feel uncomfortable doing that. I fear he would see it as giving him the green light to smoke whenever he liked.

As I've said before, I've tried the tough approach, to no avail. So maybe now is the time for compromise and bargining. Maybe turn a blind eye at the weekends as long as his schoolwork is done during the week.

What I really would like him to do is, lay off the cannabis altogether, untill he's able to take a more responsible attitude towards it and use it purely recreationally. Maybe that's just a pipe dream. ;)

i hear u polaris its hard, if hes gonna do it hes gna do it

so maybe ur right lay down some rules for it, make sure he dont waste much money, and allow a lil smoke on the weekend if hes good

but let him know by no means is this a green light

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Originally Posted by Polaris

Wow! Thanks for all the replies.

Several of you suggested sharing a spliff/bong with him.... personally I would feel uncomfortable doing that. I fear he would see it as giving him the green light to smoke whenever he liked.

As I've said before, I've tried the tough approach, to no avail. So maybe now is the time for compromise and bargining. Maybe turn a blind eye at the weekends as long as his schoolwork is done during the week.

What I really would like him to do is, lay off the cannabis altogether, untill he's able to take a more responsible attitude towards it and use it purely recreationally. Maybe that's just a pipe dream. ;)

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You, sir, are a master of the pun.

Anyways, the compromise sounds like a good idea. As long as he does his schoolwork, that is. I'm glad to hear everything's going better (I think). I'd like to see your son laying off until he starts doing better in school as well, but hey, you have to take the good and the bad, right?

And yeah, I just got through listening to the opening theme song of facts of life.

I would just like to add that it's been a revelation coming to these boards.

I fully expected to be hounded off them. Instead I've recieved a warm welcome and some very sound advice. A lot of my stereotypical views have now been altered.

Again, many thanks to you all.

Polaris.

the facts of life
damn homie thats old school
mrs.garrett is so fine

polaris

blaze up with us.

Admitisly he's only 15, so maybe he shouldnt be on the weed just yet. I smoked cannabis since i was 10, and to be honest, im damn rpoud of it. IT never screwed up my education, and i belive cannabis is a good thing, and if he can enjoy it without going over the top, then fair enough, but if its conficting will school, and the pigs, then something has to be done.

Remember, cannabis cant kill... never has, it never will because its 100% harmless, so its not as if hes endangering his life.

Myabe you should just talk with him, and make an agreement. You seem like good parents, wanting to find out about cannabis. Most parents think their opinions on it are facts, and this is what makes them shit parents.

Most cannabis smokers are normal people, with normal lifes, its not like smoking tobacco, but a damn site better for you.

Welcome to the site, and enjoy yourselves.