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First.. Thanks for sharing... I couldnt open up like that... Im not going to be long winded but I will say one thing after reading all this.. Dont forget about yourself... You my friend deserve to be happy and fullfilled in every way.... peace:thumbsup:d:rastasmoke:
I'm very happy that you are taking your life in the direction that you see fit. We must be happy as individuals before we can be happy with our significant others. It sounds like you weren't happy with your personal life because of situations imposed onto you by religion and your spouse.
By talking to her in a serious fashion and not disregarding her thoughts on the matter, but rather discussing them instead, you have put yourself on the path in the right direction.
However you've stated that God has a plan for us all; I am agnostic, but a very logical thinker.. So I will say this; It is possible that God's plan was for you to go through this situation to grow and learn a life lesson, but not to remained married to this woman.
I am not advocating divorce or that you give up on her; but rather a different angle to view this at in respect to your faith and "God's Plan".
It sounds like you're finally finding solace and for that I am very happy for you. :hippy:
wow you have a overload of info my freind, I think there was some good advice coming at you tho, I wish you were here then I could explain my self to you better, for iam not a good typer or speller lol.... but I,ll put my 2cents in if you get this far and read it.
I was married for 20 years and I could talk for hours about how much I have learened sence my wife left me 5 years ago, after 20 years of marrage I found out my wife was leaving me over the phone. she did not have the courage to tell me face to face, and man it felt like a train hit me, I was so hurt man, I mean she just tore me up inside, I dont want to ever go through that again, and like I said before I could talk for hours about how much I have learened about myself, and her sence we divorced. But iam just going to say this one thing because I think it is VERY important, and that is communication, communication. it is so important that you both just sit down and talk things out, dont fight are get angery. if you are both feeling anger, then step back and agree to talk when the air has cooled, let her tell you how she feels, let her get her fears out into the air, understand how she feels, and what she wants from her marrage, and then flip the coin over and tell her how you feel about her, yourself, and what you want from life and your marrage. my ex wife never told me how she really felt about things in her life, she was the kind of person who just put on a happy face and stuffed everything in side, so everything that I did in those 20 years of are marrage, if she was mad at me for somthing, she would not tell me, she would just smile and say everthing was fine and I would be in the dark, not knowing that what I did are did not do was somthing that she did not like, but you know what happens after 20 years of stuffing your feelings? you exployed. and that is what she did. everyday I live with regret, knowing that if I had only know what were the things that she did not like, are what was it that was bothering her, we could have just set down and talk,talk, talk. because she was my wife and I was her husband, and we could have been such better freinds, I know we could have worked through all the promblems, if I had only knowen what was really going on in her head. when you have a promblem you feel so much better when you let it out, talk it over, work towards the common good. I think the only reason we made it as long as we did was because we did love each other, and we had a good sex life. but even a good sex life cant save a marrage, when there is a break down in commication...so hang in there and let each other talk about there concerns, there fears, and what is it that I can do to make you a happer wife or husband. this is your marrage share it with each other...good luck and I hope you both find that happy middle ground.....God bless.
Curious, have you gone to couples counseling yet??? If not--GO!
If so: how is it going????
Believe it or not, being 'laid back' is a form of control! Many things you say, really need dealt with in a professional office. You need to go alone to a therapist and cut off a lot of the time for couples counseling (she should do the same). But I think you REALLY NEED TO SEE YOURSELF FOR WHAT YOU ARE. Just because you don't understand psychological help or what is considered the 'thing to do' doesn't mean you are right on every count.
Example, did you try switching from TV to loving music? Music in a house does cheer it up and when you are in better modes, it is easier to be closer! I could say so much, but it has all been said.
We are all interested in the two of you working this out. I have read this for a long time and what sticks in my mind is she is pretty and you married your trophy wife the first time and want to keep her. But, you may not feel like a trophy husband--go see what it is you really want--in therapy. YOU CANNOT FIX HER, SO YOU HAVE TO FOCUS ON THE ONLY THING YOU CAN--YOURSELF! And honey, you have a little fixin to do! And I know you can! take care PR
From what ive read i'd say your wife is clinically insane. Goodluck. Sell the gun as well.
Wow man, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Its good you can atleast come clean with not only your wife, but yourself.
Admitting what you did/are doing wrong is huge. Good luck with all of this, and always remember that god likes to give blessings in disguise
jsn: Wez BUMPING for an update??? Much admiration. Are you still together or living out of a shopping cart? With your buds growing inside it?
This is, of course my fave thread. Hope to hear an update, soon! P/R
Please do remember, you remain with others here on my daily prayer list.
Not that a child is a solution, but when you do have your first, you may not want to use. I have 2 friends that stopped when she got pregnant and haven't since. Their child is in her 20's now and they continue to do so. But, they both did it. They just found their children more important. Even if that is not the route a lot would take. Like Stinky A. says, "Kids talk!" Look a little more into the future.
Threats of suicide are a scream for therapy and not caused by you. It is called mental illness. Or, intentional control of you. P/R
Norkali stopping in for a JSN update...wondering about ya' man.