how to deal with the fact that you have never had a girlfriend...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coelho
ROFLMAO!!!!! :S2::S2::S2:
BTW... for all those who think the life is shit only because they have not girlfriends... i can say from my own experience... i had my first girlfriend when i was 20, so i know how you feel. And i can say its not THAT too much... Its good, of course, but not having one is not the end of the world.
AND, having a girlfriend brings a LOT of new problems... many of which you may not be ready to deal with. I say it by experience, its far more complicated than you think... and to someone who never had any relationship, women can be, at least, incomprehensible... It would have been better for me if i had my 1st girlfriend when i were older, and wiser.
Also, i know it seems to be a lot of "social pressure", like to be the only ones that are alone... but dont worry about it. Each one is a unique and special person, and no one should feel need to be like no one... so, just be yourself.
A final advice, is that things happen when youre NOT looking for them. If you worries too much about finding someone, probably youre just keeping them away. Stop to worry, do other things, enjoy your life, and when the right time comes (cause it always come), you will find your one. Until then, relax... or, like was said in the quote on the yoda's post (my version):
that's BS that it will always come. that's why there's guys who are over 40 and still haven't found a date or have never had sex etc.
nothing in life is guaranteed
how to deal with the fact that you have never had a girlfriend...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nailhead
Why do so many of you guys want a girl friend? Most of you guys are younger than me, you shouldn't even be looking for a girlfriend, you should be dating as many women as you possibly can, the last thing you want is to waste your youth with 1 person! I think this is where many of you are having problems, because you are so desperate for a girlfriend every girl you talk to can smell your desperation so you get a quick route into the friend category. But if you make it clear you are only looking to date, aka have sex, then they will never make the mistake of thinking of you as a friend. If they aren't interested, move on and find another. Repeat this process over and over, and in time, you will get better and better, but don't waste your time with a girlfriend while you are so young, in the long run you will just see how much of a waste of time that was.
I think we are to look for the right person. If you have sex before you know a person than you may end up with a sexually transmitted disease or later find out the person is messed up. Sex is a Union, and not to be abused. You don't first have sex with someone to get to know that person. The problem with this world though is that hardly anyone gets to find the right person (or at least me) before it's too late and then become sexually imbalanced so that people look only to satisfy their sexual needs and may also end up in the wrong relationships because they're just looking for any relationship.
and then because people are looking for just any relationship, they may occupy their time with someone who may be good only on the surface meanwhile that person may be good for someone else, and that someone else may be left alone because the other person is occupied with someone else.................
whatever.
how to deal with the fact that you have never had a girlfriend...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coelho
ROFLMAO!!!!! :S2::S2::S2:
BTW... for all those who think the life is shit only because they have not girlfriends... i can say from my own experience... i had my first girlfriend when i was 20, so i know how you feel. And i can say its not THAT too much... Its good, of course, but not having one is not the end of the world.
AND, having a girlfriend brings a LOT of new problems... many of which you may not be ready to deal with. I say it by experience, its far more complicated than you think... and to someone who never had any relationship, women can be, at least, incomprehensible... It would have been better for me if i had my 1st girlfriend when i were older, and wiser.
Also, i know it seems to be a lot of "social pressure", like to be the only ones that are alone... but dont worry about it. Each one is a unique and special person, and no one should feel need to be like no one... so, just be yourself.
A final advice, is that things happen when youre NOT looking for them. If you worries too much about finding someone, probably youre just keeping them away. Stop to worry, do other things, enjoy your life, and when the right time comes (cause it always come), you will find your one. Until then, relax... or, like was said in the quote on the yoda's post (my version):
Coelho, I know it's easy to say "wait till you have more experience and are wiser", but having that first screwed-up relationship is what gives you the experience; having that experience, is what builds wisdom.
As for the other guys here, saying it's more hassle than it's worth, that being alone is better, that being without any relationships is just fine... you don't actually know that till you've experienced years upon years of it, into your adult life where every one of your friends have past you by in this field, and the loneliness gets utterly soul-crushing and developes into isolation-based depression. The isolated feeling can be outright hell at times; human beings as with all animals have a biological need for companionship essential to healthy mental development.
how to deal with the fact that you have never had a girlfriend...
Non: Although I feel for you, for I was once there when I was younger, the very energy of desperation is likely pushing girls away.
When I said concentrate on your life and goals, I was trying to bring your focus back to your power. It is in you. Confidence will get you everywhere in life and with girls.
Your balls will not fall off if you do not use them right away.
Why is it really easy for me to meet and date girls? Because I really do not give a dam what they think of me. I could care less. Besides there are so many girls on this world it really makes no difference if one shoots me down.
As far as meeting your one and only soul mate, you are on your own for that one. I do not have a clue.
However if you are looking for girls to date and possibly sleep with, you best fake that confidence and tell them what you want.
It might help to look at that fine babe and realize that she has probably put some poor guy through a living hell on earth or she is going to shortly. Suddenly she looses that goddess image and just becomes another mere mortal.
Now if you are staying home every weekend and feeling sorry for yourself, that is not going to get you a girlfriend. If you do not get out how are you going to meet them?
Do something! Whining about it on a Cannabis site, to a bunch of stoners is not going to do anything. I have no sympathy for excuses.
Now go out there into the big bad world and fake that confidence and tell them what you want. You can do it. But is is entirely up to you.:thumbsup:
how to deal with the fact that you have never had a girlfriend...
no girlfriend !! wtf!!!
get a girl for heavens sake !! just take the plunge, be yourself, dont be totally honest, but, make promises, write poetry for her eyes only, tell her, her hair smells good, she has soft skin, open doors, gals loves words, be gentle, girls are fragile
if its about just gettin laid?
the good girls, wont, but, the bad girls will !!
:jointsmile:
how to deal with the fact that you have never had a girlfriend...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unknown American
Non: Although I feel for you, for I was once there when I was younger, the very energy of desperation is likely pushing girls away.
When I said concentrate on your life and goals, I was trying to bring your focus back to your power. It is in you. Confidence will get you everywhere in life and with girls.
Your balls will not fall off if you do not use them right away.
Why is it really easy for me to meet and date girls? Because I really do not give a dam what they think of me. I could care less. Besides there are so many girls on this world it really makes no difference if one shoots me down.
As far as meeting your one and only soul mate, you are on your own for that one. I do not have a clue.
However if you are looking for girls to date and possibly sleep with, you best fake that confidence and tell them what you want.
It might help to look at that fine babe and realize that she has probably put some poor guy through a living hell on earth or she is going to shortly. Suddenly she looses that goddess image and just becomes another mere mortal.
Now if you are staying home every weekend and feeling sorry for yourself, that is not going to get you a girlfriend. If you do not get out how are you going to meet them?
Do something! Whining about it on a Cannabis site, to a bunch of stoners is not going to do anything. I have no sympathy for excuses.
Now go out there into the big bad world and fake that confidence and tell them what you want. You can do it. But is is entirely up to you.:thumbsup:
well I could think about my goals. but my goal is to become a doctor. and as a doctor you require your own balance before you work on anyone else. also, I feel like I work for no purpose if I don't get any type of 'affection' or someone likes my work, or approves of it, and some kind of womanly affection is the epitome of that for me.
I don't even feel complete without one. I am like split in half without the 'other'. she is the yin to my yang. etc.
I am strange. people want to tell me "you don't need it" but in all honesty I do think I do, for the sake of my own balance.
how to deal with the fact that you have never had a girlfriend...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unknown American
Non: Although I feel for you, for I was once there when I was younger, the very energy of desperation is likely pushing girls away.
When I said concentrate on your life and goals, I was trying to bring your focus back to your power. It is in you. Confidence will get you everywhere in life and with girls.
Your balls will not fall off if you do not use them right away.
Why is it really easy for me to meet and date girls? Because I really do not give a dam what they think of me. I could care less. Besides there are so many girls on this world it really makes no difference if one shoots me down.
As far as meeting your one and only soul mate, you are on your own for that one. I do not have a clue.
However if you are looking for girls to date and possibly sleep with, you best fake that confidence and tell them what you want.
It might help to look at that fine babe and realize that she has probably put some poor guy through a living hell on earth or she is going to shortly. Suddenly she looses that goddess image and just becomes another mere mortal.
Now if you are staying home every weekend and feeling sorry for yourself, that is not going to get you a girlfriend. If you do not get out how are you going to meet them?
Do something! Whining about it on a Cannabis site, to a bunch of stoners is not going to do anything. I have no sympathy for excuses.
Now go out there into the big bad world and fake that confidence and tell them what you want. You can do it. But is is entirely up to you.:thumbsup:
oh yeah and even if I do go out I don't find anything.
how to deal with the fact that you have never had a girlfriend...
I can't really say anything other than reiterate what's already been said. You have to go out and make yourself available man. And honestly, most of the girls I've dated were never too much into the whole "date" thing anyways. They actually turned their noses up at the idea of just going out to dinner. We just did things together. Anything. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to get a "date," because sometimes that word itself is what intimidates some people. Just go do something and leave it at that.
As for where to find them, I'd recommend not hitting up the bars in search of Mrs. Right. That's just too cliche' and kind of scummy imo. Besides, most girls that are worth holding onto don't go for horny guys at bars to begin with. See if a friend of a friend knows anyone that's single, or if you're in any classes see who's around you and strike up a conversation. Even where you work. Just get out there and meet as many people as you can so you can build up your "network" so to speak.
You have to walk before you can run man. You can't go out there right away expecting to find your dream girl. Take it slow and first get comfortable talking to women, then move onto maybe starting a relationship with one that suits your fancy. I'll warn you not to be over-anxious though lol.
Best of luck my man. Keep your head up and it'll happen as long as you're you, there's nothing anyone can take away from that. :jointsmile:
how to deal with the fact that you have never had a girlfriend...
If you ever get bored, try reading some of the articles on AskMen.com - Free Men's Online Magazine. Maybe they could give you some confidence or inspiration or something.
how to deal with the fact that you have never had a girlfriend...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gandalf_The_Grey
Coelho, I know it's easy to say "wait till you have more experience and are wiser", but having that first screwed-up relationship is what gives you the experience; having that experience, is what builds wisdom.
Yes... but its the hard way... i know that "the burnt hand teaches best" (or somewhat like... its a proverb)... but wisdom is never too much, nor patience. My own first experience was both heaven and hell. The only concrete thing ive learned from it is that the first love is a heavy drug, as addicting as crack, heroin, and its withdraw is VERY bad also. If you think weed is not enough, go for it... but dont say i didnt warned you!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gandalf_The_Grey
As for the other guys here, saying it's more hassle than it's worth, that being alone is better, that being without any relationships is just fine... you don't actually know that till you've experienced years upon years of it, into your adult life where every one of your friends have past you by in this field, and the loneliness gets utterly soul-crushing and developes into isolation-based depression. The isolated feeling can be outright hell at times; human beings as with all animals have a biological need for companionship essential to healthy mental development.
Well... i dont want to disregard your views, but companionship isnt a biological need... its only a social need. But, as we humans live completly immersed into the society, we easily confuse biological needs with social needs. I used to feel like you described, but now ive overcame it... the paths i had to thread were black and cold, but now i can say that nothing actually matters. In fact, now i love to be as lonely as possible... But, each one his own, of course. You are intelligent, and surely will find your way... so, good luck! May the force be with you! :thumbsup:
