I think I may be becoming insane.... (spiritual discussion)

I need someone to talk to...Maybe someone Buddhist, Maybe the way I could tell my parents is by writing a letter to them. I'm pretty sure my parents wouldn't understand and be very confused with me. I'm not even that close with my parents. I don't ever really talk to them unless I need something and now looking at my relationships with each of my family members it brings me a sadness....I don't know if I can live like this I really need help....I need help.......now im crying.......my life is changing so fast and I feel so lost, alone and confused....

hello. I went through a time where I felt a lot like you. I found myself looking into eastern religions a lot because it made so much more sense to me and made me feel spiritual in a way.
I HIGHLY recommend for you to read:

Siddartha
The Tao of Pooh
The Celestine Prophecy
The Way of the Peaceful Warrior


These are not religious texts with any sort of real rules or facts
But they spoke to me in a way that made me feel like I understood life truly and more meaningfully.

I am serious. Read those books!!
This is actually an awakening for me that I have lost touch with that side of myself, and need to do a little more awakening.

I adjusted your title just a tad and am going to move this thread to our Spirituality area, where I think you'll get even more interesting comments. Fascinating phenomenon you're describing.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Jake420

there is mythes and legends that are pretty far fetched but i personally believe about budists monks "accending" to a higher state of conciousness, which they basically vaporized into nothingness, to a higher place, pretty interesting concept

---

Their molecules started vibrating so fast that we can't see them.

Man... thats very tough... i think i understand a bit how you feel, as im feeling something like it too... i wasnt so enlightened as you did, but i did catch some fleeting glimpses of "enlightenment", like, you if did see sun, then i did see the flicker of a lighter. Anyway it was enough for me lose the interest in the everyday things, as they seems so "unreal"... sometimes, like you, i also wish to come back to when i was ignorant (and was happy being so)... sometimes i long for the enlightenment... so, as you can see, im very confused too.

The only advice i can give is for you learn to meditate. Doing so you will be able to come back to the enlightened state, and it will be easier to make your choices rightly.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Psychoactive420

YOUR RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS NIRVANA I FELT! I JUST LOOKED IT UP -

"There is that dimension where there is neither earth, nor water, nor fire, nor wind; neither dimension of the infinitude of space, nor dimension of the infinitude of consciousness, nor dimension of nothingness, nor dimension of neither perception nor non-perception; neither this world, nor the next world, nor sun, nor moon. And there, I say, there is neither coming, nor going, nor stasis; neither passing away nor arising: without stance, without foundation, without support [mental object]. This, just this, is the end of stress."

---

One of the main tenants of acheiving nirvana is that if you can realize you have acheived nirvana, then you havent.

Alot of people, although not neccessarily yourself, view nirvana as an equivalent to the christian heaven, but it isnt. There is actually a heaven and hell in buddhism, but they are not the same as the christian realms, in many ways. Anyways..

It sounds like you caught a glimpse of something though, and no matter what it is, it has changed you, and given you a chance to change. It isnt often that people are shown a hidden path that they normally would have never seen, but you have been shown, and its up to you to see if you really have the courage to walk it til its end. I think you would find that the path would meet back up with where you were walking before, but have given you much more along the way.

My only advice, coming from personal experience, is to walk at your own pace, so to speak. What you caught a glimpse of, it could burn you like the sun if you get to close too fast, its best to live into the experience, let it come and go as it pleases, and become familar with it, without forcing it. I found meditation made things worse for me, if my goal was to reach that state again.

Enjoy your gift, it is an amazing one. Take the time to explore it and everything it brings to you as much as possible. Id just say that slow and steady is better then quick as possible.

And as always, ymmv on things as complicated as this. :thumbsup:

Hi Psycho, I am not in anyway qualified to advise you, but the subect is compelling so I couln't resist. I have read that dreams usually have a totally different meaning than what seems obvious to the dreamer. For example: a dream about death could interpret as the ending of something and the beginning of something else.:D LaZ, interesting avatar:thumbsup:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Psychoactive420

I need someone to talk to...Maybe someone Buddhist, Maybe the way I could tell my parents is by writing a letter to them. I'm pretty sure my parents wouldn't understand and be very confused with me. I'm not even that close with my parents. I don't ever really talk to them unless I need something and now looking at my relationships with each of my family members it brings me a sadness....I don't know if I can live like this I really need help....I need help.......now im crying.......my life is changing so fast and I feel so lost, alone and confused....

---

There is a mantra, a chant that I like to repeat when I find myself in situations such as that. It helps calm me, and makes things seem less hectic when everything around me seems to be changing or falling apart...

Quote:

---

I have arrived, I am home
In the here, In the now
I am solid, I am free
In the ultimate, I dwell

---

Since you have such an interest in Buddhism, you may want to take some time to study, or at least look into the Four Noble Truths. They, especially in times such as this for you, will be of great help.

Quote:

---

1. Life means suffering.

2. The origin of suffering is attachment.

3. The cessation of suffering is attainable.

4. The path to the cessation of suffering.

---

I suggest taking the time to try to find your own understanding of what these truths mean, and then, after you have figured out what they mean to you, take the time to learn about them online or whatnot. See how your interpretation compares with what others say.

As a note, the fourth noble truth is a link to The Noble Eightfold Path.

Quote:

---

1. Right View
2. Right Intention
3. Right Speech
4. Right Action
5. Right Livelihood
6. Right Effort
7. Right Mindfullness
8. Right Concentration

---

If you get time, try to consider the Eightfold path as well, find your meaning in it as well.

If you believe that the experience you felt was somethign related to Buddhism, then take the time to try to understand the religion and what it teaches.

Dont take little quotes and look at them and see if they work for you. Thats the same as taking the lettuce from a sandwich, and because you like the lettuce, assuming that you like the entire sandwich. Buddhism is a religion that has tenants that are simple and understandable as a standalone, but the real meaning behind everything is interlaced with many other things. The kind of situation where you can "understand" something, but not truely understand something.

Before you is a religion that is simple, yet complex, with lessons that are simple, yet very complex. Take the time to learn about it, and even if its not for you, even if it gives you no answers and doesnt help you at all with what you were looking for help with... you will be more learned, and likely better off for the experience.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I am by no means an expert on the religion, but I can answer what I can, and find answers for you on anything else. :jointsmile:

Psychiactive420, how old are you? Just curious.

Also, death isn't really a bad thing at all. Your dream was bad, becuase you got killed. But death is nothing to be scared of. Trust me, once you reach a certain age.. you are going to WISH you were dead once or twice.

9/13/07

My thoughts today - I still feel so uninterested in everything at my school...I'm looking at this world... It seems so corrupted...at the beginning of time this world was pure of all evil then somehow mankind corrupted it. So much over time it has brought civilization where it is today.... I just wish I could live a normal life like everyone else...It seems like thats impossible...something that did comfort me that I thought of today...everybody dies and theirs nothing you can do about it. It's like from the movie "the matrix" and you were shown what the matrix was and how you've been living a lie for your whole life then you were kicked back out into your fake world...