Spicing up a 10 year marriage

I hate to give what seems an overly simplistic or pat answer, but here goes:
Porn.
Yes, I said it. I don't mean to the exclusion of everything else. I mean, do all the things Birdy suggested, and add in a little dirty movie. For YOU to watch. That's what's great about the internet. Growing info, and porn.

I am crazy about my man. I think he is the hottest thing I've ever seen. But sometimes, whether it's hormones or just plain fatigue, I am not in the mood. Rather than make him go through a dry spell, I will fire up my computer after he goes to work, and watch porn. Even just sort of skimming it. It sets your mind and body up to be more receptive later in the day. And I watch it alone, because that way I don't have to get all paranoid that he's comparing me to the girls in the movie, or that he's fucking me but thinking of them, dig?

I'm on the fence about the political aspect of porn, from a feminist perspective. But I do know it works, so I try to put my ideals on hold when faced with a remedy for flagging libido LOL!

try the swinging lifestyle. variety is the spice of life.
Leave the jeolousy baggage elsewhere its only sex.

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Originally Posted by Gatekeeper777

try the swinging lifestyle. variety is the spice of life.
Leave the jeolousy baggage elsewhere its only sex.

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That's a bit of a leap, don't you think? Gosh, if it's only sex, then why bother actually fixing it at all? Why not just give up?

I think sleeping with other people should be a last resort, not the first thing you try. That's not spicy, that's full on habanero.

What is the point of being married if you're going to swing? Is it just so you have somebody to split the bills with?

I had another idea for you. I think before you might have said that you do weight lifting. Maybe you could get him to do that with you. It would get all those hormones running and maybe it would help up the physical attraction. If nothing else it could be something the two of you could do together

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Originally Posted by Mrs. Greenjeans

That's a bit of a leap, don't you think? Gosh, if it's only sex, then why bother actually fixing it at all? Why not just give up?

I think sleeping with other people should be a last resort, not the first thing you try. That's not spicy, that's full on habanero.

What is the point of being married if you're going to swing? Is it just so you have somebody to split the bills with?

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I swing with my wife and its a bigger turn on to see the significant other being pleasured then what you would think.
but hey, its not for everyone.
and the chicks are freaky.lol
:thumbsup:

So why are you guys married? Tax break? I never have understood the reasoning behind swinging. Do you let other people drive your car too?

edit to say: As for Demeter's issue, there are many things she can do about it. What she should not do, is hump a strange dick about it.

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Originally Posted by Mrs. Greenjeans

So why are you guys married? Tax break? I never have understood the reasoning behind swinging. Do you let other people drive your car too?

edit to say: As for Demeter's issue, there are many things she can do about it. What she should not do, is hump a strange dick about it.

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the real swingers love the other one, it has nothing to do really with wanting to be with other people (i foudn out all this at about 11, watching real sex on hbo lmao) it's just something new to try... both partners really fucking have to be up to it.. if there's a slight bit of jealousy, it will destory the both of you) and even tho they'r efucking othe rpeople (basicly) they still both love each other unconditionally... kinda really hard to understand i gues (cuz i don't even understand it lol... i don't care if i was allowed to fuck some other girl, my wife got in bed with another dude, i'd be whippin out the machette) but it has nothing ot do with anything on a relationship, ti's all about personal sexual pleasure.. and it's not like you can go calling up other people on a boot call... you both go 'do it' at the same time, and ontop of that, it's almost always in the same room/house..

Maybe we should start another thread on swinging, so Demeter can have her thread back.:D

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Originally Posted by slipknotpsycho

the real swingers love the other one, it has nothing to do really with wanting to be with other people (i foudn out all this at about 11, watching real sex on hbo lmao) it's just something new to try... both partners really fucking have to be up to it.. if there's a slight bit of jealousy, it will destory the both of you) and even tho they'r efucking othe rpeople (basicly) they still both love each other unconditionally... kinda really hard to understand i gues (cuz i don't even understand it lol... i don't care if i was allowed to fuck some other girl, my wife got in bed with another dude, i'd be whippin out the machette) but it has nothing ot do with anything on a relationship, ti's all about personal sexual pleasure.. and it's not like you can go calling up other people on a boot call... you both go 'do it' at the same time, and ontop of that, it's almost always in the same room/house..

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thank you for explaining it. You nailed it.

Hey Gatekeeper, would you mind starting a separate thread where I can ask questions about this if you're comfortable with that?