Make a wish thread

You are all knowing. But being all knowing causes you to realize that being all knowing sucks. and your head explodes.

I wish I had like, a half ounce right now. and some hot apple pie.

while being all-knowing u begin wirting a book on a way to use more effeint fuels and u hit ur head forgetting everything...including ur name...

soul distortion: i get ur weed and get baked, u eat ur apple pie and watch the news, a report comes on and a news banner flashes saying somehow apples have contracted herpes....

i wish i could fly

The moment you realize you can fly, you take off into the great beyond only to get into a head on collision with a fighter jet. the fighter jet wins...

I wish the legal buds on herbalsmokeshop.com got you higher then weed. and that i got a free ounce of every single variety.

the chemical they used to get u high makes u a zombie and u start eating ur family and friends

i wish i could get some oral sex...

You get a free ounce of every variety.
And the first two days of smoking those are GREAT.
But then you get addicted.
By the fourth day your brain is mush.
And by the fifth...
You do not have the ability to hold a bong.
You wither away and die.
Dryst: You get oral sex. From a polar bear. Who eventually realizes HE is a very, very hungry polar bear.

I wish wherever I was, the most physically attractive women found themselves irresistably attracted to me, until I was a mile away.

dryst: you get oral sex. in fact, THIS VERY NIGHT. as she is sucking away, and right as you feel your self about to bust, she bites your dick with all her might, until she actually bites it OFF and swallows it. then she runs away buzzkill i know.

inferious: this causes any woman within a one mile radious, including the ugly ones (which make up 99% of the female population)to ALL be attracted to you, therefore making it impossible for the hot ones to reach you. the hot chicks are trampled by the uglys and you end up being raped in a sweaty disgusting orgy embrace by doezens of some of the most discusting girls you've ever seen.

I wish I could get a grow going, and have an impossibly successful crop and yield.

it sucessful, so sucessful ur voted high time man of the year, untill u get busted by the cops and go to jail forever :D

i wish i had a pet monkey

you get a pet monkey but its pregnant, it pops off hundreds of siblings that have fetishes for human skin.

i wish i could control the weather

ur JL.....but ur priceless car collection garage goes up in smoke.....

I wish divorce was FINAL! finally.....

You get your divorce but only to realize that in fine print it states that you will forever be a sex slave chanied up in your ex-wifes basement.

I wish it wasnt so cold.