Well, She Left Me...

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Originally Posted by Skink

We men get hit the hardest for some reason... You will find in time it was for the best,cause if she loved you,she would not pull shit like this... This is usaully part one in the control game and she played the card at the time most woman do,when they know yur hooked,and she knows...

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You're absolutely right. A lot can happen in nine months (I've been in a relationship for the past nine months). I think it takes a lot of nerve to pull something like that.

Maybe she's afraid of being tied down? If she really loves you she'll realize what she did wrong and try to reconcile. Don't forgive her too easily, though.

And self-destructing only makes things worse. My mom is doing it with her break-up and it's just bringing her down and everyone around her further down. People do give a shit, like us on cann.com, so talk to us instead of hurting yourself. It just isn't worth it.

Stay strong, dear, this will all pass sooner or later. :o

on another note, it's not abnormal to grieve for 30 days, 60 days, 90 days. this is determined by the level of attachment you felt towards this person... i can say from experience, that when my relationship with my ex crumbled, i felt exactly like i did when my grandfather died. EXACTLY the same. thus i can conclude, reasonablly, that when we experience a breakup of such magnitude, we react to it the same way as we do a death of a close friend/relative. does that make sense to you?

as a human you have the right and need to grieve for as long as you want. dont let fucking assholes and their shitty, closed-minded opinions and remarks get you down man. you are who you are, nothing will change that ever. they don't know who you are, they don't know your past.

Remain strong.

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Originally Posted by Gothen

Ya know, that's real cool. That's really productive. Do you think that changes anything? Do you not think I realize how unimportant, small, and meangingless my life is? So what if what I'm going through isn't "suffering enough" for you or anyone else. No offense, but fuck you man. You had no right to shit on me and try to make me feel like crap because I'm whining about "some bitch leaving me."

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I posted what I did to give you some perspective.

- I didn't once say you weren't suffering enough for me.
- I didn't say or remotely suggest your life was small or meaningless.
- I had every right to post what I did. I didn't shit on you in any way shape or form.

You simply took my post and attached a bunch of emotional bullshit to it, making me look like I attacked you in some way. The advice I was giving you was not meant to be negative towards you it was real advice.

I was grieving about a bitch that left me a few years back. I was devastated almost to suicide. Then a friend of mine who worked for world vision sat me down and gave me a message very similiar to what I posted to you. I also thought he was trying to make me feel bad. I went to Africa for 3 months and unloaded cargo supplies and helped towns of suffering people. I saw people being shot, burned beaten, starving. I helped the victims.

After the 3 months I came back and forgot the bitches last name who left me.

Do I think that changes anything? Experience something like that and you tell me. Does that change anything? FUCK YES it does. It changes your whole perspective of the problems in your own life. It makes you feel like you can handle this small shit that your brain blows out of proportion.

I am not saying don't grieve, and I am not suggesting you are bad for feeling the way you are. i was offering a real solution. If it is really THAT bad that your whole life is just fucked because of it, you either can greive it out over a lengthly period of time and eventualy just get over it. (who knows how long that could take), or you could do some soul searching and eventualy realise how small this chick is in the grand scheme of your life.

I was just giving you real advice, if you didn't want to take it, ignore me. Fuck me? Fuck you kid. Keep sittin there feeling sorry for yourself and cutting yourself over some bitch.

What you are doing is looking for people to feel sorry for you, and it only feeds your own suffering. Overgrow your problem or dwell on it and let it consume you. Or just let time pass and become bored with the subject.

Ok For 2 1/2 years throughout High School a dated this girl, same thing happened. What you need to learn about women is they want everything. She wants to be close friends with you because you're a big part of her life, but she also wants to be able to go out and have fun and shit. So because she wants everything, she wants to be able to have you, and stay out late and experience probably the night life and she won't be able to do that with you.

Problem is guys only want a few things in life, 1.Food 2.Sex 3.To get their 'high'. You don't need her stressing over her. Stressing for months on end will only be hard on you, make your life easier try going out with your friends, change your routine around. You'll start to realize that you don't need her anymore and she was just a 9 month routine. Sure you'll still have feelings for her and they might come back, but don't stick around waiting, make the best out of any situation.

delted

be strong, yes. thats all i can tell you. dont let her get the best of you. prove to that skank that youre better than that whiney bullshit. be strong. i know it sucks..but its either be strong, or waste your life away over some tramp who supposably is 'inlove' with you yet leaves you for some other guy? doesnt sound too convincing to me. seems as if you deserve someone so much better. keep your chin up please

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Originally Posted by Gothen

Hey, guys, I feel really bad for bumping this after so long, but I don't know what to do. It's been a month, but I still cry every single night. She already has a new boyfriend, some kid named Thyler.

I don't know what to do anymore. I think maybe I should go to the doctor and try anti-depressants or something, because I don't think I can handle this anymore. It's just been getting worse this past week. I've just been getting so much like how I was before I started smoking weed.

Like, I started cutting myself again. I know how fucking stupid that is, I know how retarded it is and pathetic, but I can't stop. I'll just sit in my room and cry or cut myself. It's fucking sick, and it's fucking morbid but I can't stop. It's like nothing will end this pain anymore but death. I'm not suicidal, I will never kill myself, but I pray so hard that something will kill me. I don't care about anything anymore. I don't see the reason to even get up out of fucking bed any more. I just lay in bed or sit in my chair listening to music with a sheet over my window.

Is it supposed to hurt this long? Should I still cry every night because of her after a month? I need someone to be there for me and with me right now, and I'm very sorry if I bumped this and it pissed you off. I just feel so alone.

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You are trying to erase what can't be erased.

In one way or another, you are going to have those thoughts, what could've? What should've? It's over man. She doesn't love you. If she did, she would be standing by your side in one way or another. How do you know you truly love her? Is it to feel a feeling of void in your life?

I tend to stay away from relationship and sexual issues because it's such a fragile issue for me. I see from your posts you are a soul tortured, wanting to be free from these agonizing thoughts. I been in your shoes, tantilizing thoughts, dreams and wishes. It fades with time, but how long depends on you.

Don't rely on self-destructive behavior to let your emotions out. Focus on changing yourself for the better. You have this energy from pain within you that is stronger motivation than anything you will embark. Don't let go to waste. Whatever you dislike about yourself, work to change it. Desires to change with such emotional pain can prove to be beneficial. Example, start working out. Find a new hobby. Start a business. You have emptied your pallette. Nothing better than a fresh start.

From your post, I can tell this woman wasn't right for you. I liken her behavior to a monkey. She holds on to one vine, and won't let go until she holds another, in other words, she found greener pastures in her opinion. That's certainly not the type of girl I would want to be going out with. It shows from the insecurities you have about her. I'm not saying this is truly who she is, this is based on your words.

Live your life to the fullest. Don't wallow, because it accomplishes nothing. Be a better man. Don't give her reasons to validate why she broke up with you. Make her regret it, and in time, you can find a woman who appreciates you for who you are. Fuck around. Enjoy the time you have being single, because it isn't as bad as people make out to be.

Find someone who can furfill your life, rather than be your life. Good luck man. What comes with struggles comes with rewards, only if you try :thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by NightProwler

i think you should get some drugs and go off on your own into the deep deep wilderness... it will help you. and you can return if you ever decide to.

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word

its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all

so it looks like you're ahead of me bro, you'll find someone new. Someone better.