there all the same bro...there all the same :vap_smiley:
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there all the same bro...there all the same :vap_smiley:
personally, I think that if you're this unhappy in your marriage, then she probably is also, after all, marriage is a two-way street, and based on her strict conservative upbringing, she's probably in denial about her unhappiness (she wants it to work even at the cost of her own happiness). I think you should just have a series of open and honest discussions and really examine your marriage. I'm not neccessarily encouraging divorce, but it is possible that two people aren't right for each other, but before you even think about going down that road, you both have to realize that you are unhappy.
also, tell her that weed isn't an escape from reality, it just enhances reality.
If you are not compatible, it is like trying to build a house in quicksand! Get out! Since, I have some 'Southern Baptist" in me somewhere--I can tell you, it is not religion that is your problems. Did you say you got a good counselor? I seemed to have missed or forgot?
At least you came clean and are patient! You must feel better! You've been very supportive of her. Did you take any of Stinky Attic's advice--she is 110% correct! Even get involved in Bible study, women's volleyball or various activities with the Church women. She may find she is the only stuffy one there and loosen up! Regardless, you have a lot of work to do! Plus, you need to be as involved in the Church as you can, as well. Sex=children and if you two can't see eye to eye on things, you are gonna have a stone cold hard one! Good luck! :rastasmoke:
Who women? You have got to be kidding me. That is terribly offensive.Quote:
Originally Posted by blizz
I agree 100% that it is offensive, and its total bullshit, in all my life i have never came across two women that were the same.Quote:
Originally Posted by rebgirl420
I was raised Roman Catholic but I formed my own beliefs when the real world starting knocking on the door. I was agnostic for a while, and then I wasn't so sure. I went to a catholic high school too. These days I'm a devout athiest.
Just curious, what's your stance on your religion now that you're going through this? It's hard for me to see this through your eyes. Would you raise your kids up in your religion? Sorry to ask if it's impolite, and don't feel obligated to answer. Just curious. Always enjoy a good religious debate.
And if you ask me, weed is the one thing exempt from the yin yang theory. A smoker and a non-smoker cannot coexist in the same relationship. Friends are a different thing. As are parents. But not girlfriends/wives.
I don't mind you asking at all. It's a long answer though. I apologize.
I'm definitely still a Christian. I would never raise my children to be Southern Baptist though. But Christian? Yes, I would tell them about Christ and all that. (Of course I can't make the faith decision for them, and I wouldn't try to force anything on them... but I would of course tell them about my faith)
I became a Christian before I became a Southern Baptist. So in some ways I never really fit the Southern Baptist mold anyway. I only started going to a SB church when my parents moved me to the Southeast in high school. After that I got sucked into it. I was young and stupid I guess.
I have different reasons as to why I became a Christian and as to why I remain a Christian. I'll give the reasons for both.
The main reason I became a Christian has to do with an experience I had as a young man. At 13 years old I ran away to a Dead show in Miami. A guy walks up to me and says he's got some liquid drugs in this eye dropper type bottle. Offers me some. There's drugs everywhere, so I"m like... sure. He puts a drop or two on the back of my hand and he says "whatever you do, do NOT lick this shit." So of course, being a dumb ass 13 year old... he walks away and I lap it all up like a dog licking a puddle of steak drippings.
I know this forum is not for discussing other drugs, but this is part of the answer to your question so I'll just try to keep it brief. Let's not discuss this aspect (if we can help). I'll just say I was gone for a fucking year. The hallucinations stopped after a day or so, but I heard voices for a year. I had never heard them before that, but afterward I had voices basically controlling me. They would "prove" themselves to me by saying things like "Your dad is going to walk into your room right... right... NOW," and then my dad would walk in. So then I would start following what they said and it was just fucking crazy. I was pretty much schizophrenic.
They actually didn't stop until I became a Christian. I honestly think God made them stop, because the second I came to Christ in prayer (literally, the very second) the voices stopped and I never heard them again. I wasn't a believer before that, but I sure as hell was afterward. I had tried many things, seeing counselors, etc. and nothing worked.
Now, of course, that is nothing as far as tangible proof. That experience could be explained away as easily as it can be relied on. So, of course, there are different reasons as to why I remain a Christian.
As far reasons for remaining a man of faith, basically it has to do with the history of the Christian religion. I don't look to the actions of modern Christians, I look to the historical actions of Christ and the very first Christians. The Christian faith has as much historical support as most any event in history, as far as I can tell. One of the major reasons I say that is because I've never known any other group of men to give up their lives and die horrible, painful deaths for what they knew to be "fairy tales". Many skeptics claim the first Christians were just power hungry deceivers. That just can't be true, historically, as far as I'm concerned. The first disciples of Christ, history teaches us, were martyred for their faith and proclamation of personally witnessing Christ's resurrection.
I've known individual men who died for their own faith. For instance, Joseph Smith (founder of Mormonism) died for his faith. He had placed his faith in the vision he supposedly had from God (with no witnesses, just himself). Or Muhammad (founder of Islam) died practicing his faith. He had placed his faith in the vision he supposedly had from God (with no witness, just himself).
But then again, both those men had other likely motivations. For instance, both men used their religion to justify taking multiple wives (some very young), and both men profited by taking land and fighting other's for land. History shows the 12 disciples did not take multiple wives, they did not take land, they did not make a lot of money. These men had a passion for preaching the good news that Christ rose from the dead and that we can all have peace with God and eternal life. Period. That's it. They died for their faith, destitute (by earthly standards).
I've never known 12 men willing to die such horrible deaths for a known lie, especially when they had no sexual or financial motive. They weren't the only ones though. Hundreds were recorded as having witnessed the resurrection, and hundreds and thousands were martyred. Maybe all these people were tripping on LSD. Maybe history was re-written to blot out records of the disciples taking many wives and much land in conquest. But I don't see any evidence of that.
On top of that, I find the Christian Scriptures (the New Testament) to be a tremendous source of wisdom and guidance. Through them and through prayer God has done multiple things in my life on par with the "deliverance from the voices" that I don't have time to relate here. So basically, my experiences with God and my examination of history and the Scriptures (on my own, apart from Southern Baptist traditions) are what make me and keep me a Christian.
The way I see it, God knew I was going to be in this situation long before I was even born. He has a reason for allowing everything he allows on earth, and this situation with my marriage will work itself out for the best. I fully believe that. I've seen it in other rough things I've been through. That belief is strong in me. I know it is true. Perhaps my wife doesn't, and that may be why she is threatening suicide and all that bullshit. Who knows...
P.S. - I don't mean to bash any other faith's, especially Islam and Mormonism. But the fact is, we all have reasons we might choose one faith over another. I don't mean to judge anyone, but I just aim to relate the reasons I have chosen my particular faith.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnnyZ
Man, jsn you gotta enable your Karma. That was a great explanation and so circumspect- it's refreshing to see someone who can step back and be so analytical about an issue as personal as their OWN faith.
So tell us... is the TV still off? ;) Talk about 'hearing voices'... TV destroys my spiritual peace, if that makes any sense. I feel your pain!
JSN9333, ive read your posts since very long ago, when you first commented about some problems you and your wife were having on your intimate life, and i remember much of your other posts too.
I must say that your last post surprised me very much. Today its very hard to find people with such amounts of faith and belief in any religion. I congratulate you for keeping your faith, and even more after having so much troubles caused by misguided "religious" leaders, like the ones from the church you mentioned. I think they usually do more harm than good to Christianism, as they make people hate it. Im very glad that you didnt left Christianism after going such church (what happens with many many people).
But i must say that even the strictest "rules" of Christianims has their reason to exist. Of course, the reasons are not so simple as "This is wrong because God decided so", but they are very deep, and need a lot of spiritual awareness to be understood, which many of this "religious" leaders have not, and so they only keep repeating and trying to enforce this "rules" because they were taught to do so, but they just dont know the reasons of the existence of this "rules".
Anyway... while i dont know very much what to say about your situation, as im single and its long since ive been in a relationship, i think i could give a bit of advice.
You said that you dont plan leaving your wife. I think its a very good decision of you. From what youve said it seems she didnt have any "first hand" experience with God, but was just "brainwashed" by her religion. I think its pretty bad, and probably its the reason why she seems so "mad". Being forced to follow a lot of strict rules without knowing and undertanding the reason for it can drive anyone pretty insane in the long run. So, as you seems to have a good relationship with God, i would advice you to ask Him to show Himself to her, to make her experience Him, not as a lot of rules and commandements, but in the same way He showed Himself to you, so she would understand and follow Him knowingly and by its own wish, as you do.
Also, i would advice you to dont try to convince her by words, but by action. When my parents married, my dad was very Catholic, and my mom Protestant. She was very worried about this, then she asked her minister and he said her she should not open her mouth to preach for him, but only show him the truth of her faith by her actions. And so she did. She never preached to my dad, but only lived and behaved as a firm believer. And it worked. Several years later, my dad had an experience with God, left the Catholicism and entered a Protestant church, of which he, my mom and sister are members now.
So, i would say for you to keep smoking, but dont try to convince her to smoke, or that its not bad, or whatever. She should notice the benefits of your smoking from your atitude, and from the changes (for better) it would bring to you. Also, i noticed that smoking can bring a lot of spiritual awareness, so it would be good for you to think about spiritual things when stoned, cause doing so you would increase very much you spirituality and wisdom. What would be, of course, very useful.
And, most important of all, i would say for you to ask Gods direction in everything you do, cause He is the one who knows all the ways, and while you were following His direction you will be doing always the best, for you and for everyone around you. Even if His directions were a bit "weird", or uncomprehensible, follow them, cause His sight reaches way far then ours, and so He knows better than us which is the better way to tread on.
Stinky,Quote:
Originally Posted by stinkyattic
Thanks. Analytical is definitely something I am... to a fault sometimes.
Yeah, the TV is definitely still off. You and I are so on the same page there. Now that you mention it, I do have more spiritual peace now. A *lot* more. When I'm immersed in the crap that is on that TV every night it just saps my joy. And even with half-way decent shows, I still get the the lies and propaganda the commercials spout every 10 minutes. Maybe some can deal with it better then others, but it just grinds me down.
Granted, there might be a happy medium, but for some reason the TV just sucks me in. There is no half-way with me. If I start watching it, I can't get up. It's like heroin... it just sucks you in and then steals your life. That's the way it is with me, at least.
My wife is having a hard time adjusting to it though. For her, it seems, it brings peace. Or at least she thinks it does... I have no idea.
You know, the other day she said I never relent in anything and it is always "my way or the highway". Of course that is complete bullshit, and the TV is actually the first thing that came to mind. I tossed my TV in the garbage when I was 16 years old and never looked back. Then, when we got married and started living together (that order should've been reversed) I asked her if we could get rid of the TV's. She very much didn't want to. So I relented. I told her how it affected me, and told her how important it was to me... but I deferred to her wishes.
I had tasted the peace that I enjoy so much with not having the TV on all the time. And nonetheless, I let her have her precious boob-tube and she has turned it on every night practically all night for these first years of our marriage. And I never "relent" to her? I guess she just believes whatever she wants to.
Everyone I've ever known and dated has said my personality is very laid back. I'm not a dominating person by any means. I'm planning on putting my foot down on this cannabis issue though. I just can't deal with her crying and carrying on (not to mention threats of suicide) right now. So, for now, as long as the TV stays off I won't toke. That's the deal. Come fall break, or perhaps the end of the semester, though, I'm going to finalize this issue once and for all.
For now I'll just keep trying to think it through and pray about it I guess. That TV being really helps clear my head and help me to think straight though. It has really been nice.