Actually, he was only elected once. He stole the election the first time around, remember?Quote:
Originally Posted by napolitana869
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Actually, he was only elected once. He stole the election the first time around, remember?Quote:
Originally Posted by napolitana869
fuck wasting joke time talkin abt bush! can we get back to the jokes now plz
What do they do left over skin after circumcising babies.............................Sell it to fags for chewing gum.
a young man with a particularly small penis takes his girlfriend to bed for the first time. embarrassed at his lack of dick, he insists on turning out the light. in the darkness he puts his erection into her hand and is understandably hurt when she says, 'no thanks, i don't smoke'.
ok so there was this midget
and he was in a bar, and suddenly this rlly hot chick walks up to him.
they talk a little and she just says "you know, ive nvr been with a midget before.... i want u to fuck me" so the midget thinks that this could be a good idea, but he makes her promise she cant open her eyes the whole time....
so they go and start having at it, with her eyes closed of course
and she is just loving it, moaning and she shouts "this is the best sex ive ever had!!!"
the midget replys "just wait till i get my other foot in!"
Yuck! foot fucked..............lmfao.
What do you call a goodlooking lebanese guy...............Asif.
Okay, so there are two muffins in an oven. One looks over to the muffin next to him and says "phew...its getting hot in here" the other muffin looks back and screams "AHH A TALKING MUFFIN!".
^ its about the funniest joke if you are really high
dunno if anyones heard this one before, its quite old (in my neck of the woods anyway)...
So Bruce Willis, Sly Stallone and Micheal Jackson are on this plane right, theres also a few kid passengers too..
so the plane starts to go down...
Willis:" theres only 3 parachutes!!"
Stallone: "Thats cool, theres enough for us then"
Willis: "What about the kids?"
Stallone: "Fuck the kids!"
Jackson: "Do we have time!??"
:dance:
what do u call a russian with 3 balls?.....
Whodya Nikabollockov
whats the peak of pain??
a one armed man hanging off the edge of a cliff with itchy balls :p
Two stoners are sitting on a couch after just having smoked. They hear a knock on the door. A half hour passes. One of them says "I think someone knocked on the door." A half hour passes. The other says "Maybe we should see who it is." A half hour passes. They get up and walk to the door. A half hour passes. They open the door. On the other side is their friend, another stoner. He grins when he sees his friends and says "Damn, you two are quick!"
where does sadam hussain put al his cd's?
iraq ( ai-rack /a-rack)
why does a dog lick his dick?.....................cause he can.
man finds bottle on beach opens it out comes a jeanie so he gets the 3 wishes 1st wish plz says the jeanie , um ithink ill get rid of all terrorist in the world ......bang .it was done no terrorists on earth. Next wish plz says the jeanie.um Ithink ill get rid of all politicians aswell........bang..... it was done ....next wish plz says jeanie......ummmmm........lets see no terrorists no politicians........ ill just have a coke thanx!
^^ that spawns from a racist joke. funny none the less
ok here we go this one is straight from the mother
why dont you hear bunnys have sex?
cause they have cotton balls.
and now one from my scottish dad
how did the scottsmen find his sheep in the tall grass?
very satisfying
classic comedy lmfao..:thumbsup:Quote:
Originally Posted by Wesley Pipes
bear and a rabbit taking ashit in thr woods bear says to rabbit. Do u av any problems with shit sticking to ur fur?.no says the bunny.So the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his ass..lol i love this one!
Haha, no actually, when I was just trying to think of something for my avatar I thought of how funny that joke was one time when I was high and it was created. Muffins are good...but not that good, lmao.Quote:
Judging from your joke and your avatar...someone has a muffin fetish.
What is transperant and lies in the gutter............a crackhead with the shit kicked outta him.
How do you get 50 jews in a mini............throw a quarter on the back seat.
How does a blind parachutist know when he is gettin near the ground?......................................When his dog leash goes slack.
A couple of years ago I went out with some friends and told my wife I'd be home by 12 or so. Well, as usual my budsand I got shitfaced and they talked me into going to the strip club. I knew I would be in real trouble when I got home (4am), so I thought I would try to improve my situation. When I got home there was someone sleeping on my couch with the tv on. Figuring my wife fell asleep waiting to yell at me, I thought I'd try to have a little fun. I lifted the covers by her feet and proceeded to strip her and gave here a little oral pleasure. She never really woke up so I figured maybe she had something to drink and actually passed out. Anyway, she kinda gave me a little moan or two and I decided to give up. I went to the bathroom to wash up and had the shit scared out of me by my wife (sitting on the toilet.) I yelled and she jumped up and said shhh... You'll wake your mother......
lol :(Quote:
Originally Posted by larken75
What do u get when u cross a jehova witness with a hells angel..?........... someone that knocks on your door and tells u to fuck off!
well the rabbit is in the middle of the forest. He places his balls one a large rock, and with another hits em together while shouting "yah baby, im so horny". So the lion passes by and watches the whole thing. "What the fuck??!?! Rabbit get horny by smashin his balls, and I cant do it? Me? King of the forest?!?!??!?!??". So he pushes the Rabbit away, take his giant balls, place them over the rock, takes the other rock and hits em" AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHGHTHHdlj;lkjhDGHM!!!@@!@!#!" his balls now were a blood/flesh mass. "YOU FUCKIN PERVERD RABBIT, HOW DO U GET HORNY WHEN UR SMASHIN UR BALLZ????". "I get horny when i miss them" sais Rabbit.
MORE MORE MORE PLZ I NEED A LAUGH PLZ.
lol i've herad that 100 times but it's funny as fuck still.Quote:
Originally Posted by rottenPauL
SO theres this new movie coming out this summer, its an action/adventure movie about 3 classical music composers. its gonna star sylvester stallone, bruce willis and arnold schwarzenegger (sp?).
the three of them are talking with director steven spielberg about which parts they will all play.
"which composer would you like to be bruce?" asked spielberg
"well ive always been a fan of chopin, id like to play him" said bruce
"and you sylvester?" asked spielberg
"mozarts the one for me" replied stallone
"and what about you arnold?" spielberg asked schwarzenegger
"ill be bach" said arnold
Knock knock
Who's there?
Smelmap
Smelmap Who?
Hahahahahaha, freakk1!!!!