Joke Time!

[Wesley Pipes]

Time for some jokes i think, post your best!

Enjoy

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Mickey and Minnie Mouse were up at court for a divorce,

the judge asks Mickey...

"Is it true you are divorcing Minnie Mouse on the account she has bucked teeth?"

Mickey replies...



"No, i never said she had bucked teeth, i said she was fuckin goofy"



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Police did a raid on Micheal Jacksons house looking for drugs...

in the kitchen they found some class A's

in the living room they found some class B's



in the bedroom they found class 5c



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Fashion news:

the latest thing in childrens underwear...



Micheal Jackson!!



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Whats Micheal jacksons favourite song?




The Darkness - "touching yooooooou, touching meeeeeeeeeEEeeeeeeee"

:dance:

Wesley Pipes Reviewed by Wesley Pipes on 08-17-2006. Joke Time! Time for some jokes i think, post your best! :) Enjoy :cool: -------------------------------------------- Mickey and Minnie Mouse were up at court for a divorce, the judge asks Mickey... Rating: 5

[crudemood]

what did one wall say to the other?


Lets meet at the corner.

[Wesley Pipes]

lol not bad, made me snigger anyway

[crudemood]

i know it doesnt compare to your jokes
okay let me try again
what happened to the peanut when it was walking down the street?
it got assaulted??

okay another peanut joke
how did the peanut die?

they ate his nuts? lol
okay you still win Wesley :thumbsup:

[graph]

A man walks past a bar and sees a sign which says "PERFORM THE THREE FEATS AND WIN A MILLION DOLLARS!" Thinking that a million dollars sounds like a great idea, he goes inside and asks the bartender what the deal is.

"First," says the bartender, "you have to chug this entire bottle of vodka. Second, there's a crocodile in the back room with a bad tooth. You have to pull it. Third, there's an eighty-five year old woman in the back who's never had sex. You have to have sex with her."

The guy think it over and says "okay, sure. You have a deal!" He grabs the bottle of vodka and, with little effort due to the fact that he's basically a professional alcoholic anyway, downs it. Then he slams the empty bottle down and goes into the back room. There's a lot of screaming, some growling, and various crashing sounds. Finally a silence falls upon the bar. Minutes pass, then an hour. Finally the bartender sends a barmaid back to see what's going on. A few minutes later, she comes back out.

"What's he doing?" asks the bartender.

"What's left of him is back there in the croc pen," she says, her horrified face pale with shock. "His clothes are tossed in the corner. I think he tried to fuck the croc. The croc...the croc ate him."

"Oh, Jesus," whispers the bartender. "Jesus."

Nobody says a word.

[FeastonThisSHITT]

Apologies in advanced for people these offend.





Three friends -- two straight guys and a gay guy -- and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they're standing before St. Peter.

First came one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. "I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."

Then came the second straight guy. "Sorry, can't let you in, either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!"

The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously, "It doesn't look good, Dick."


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These 2 fags live together right....well neither are employed so one day one the fags comes home and says to his lover "hey i got a job i start tomorrow!" well anyways the next day the fag is getting ready to go to work and comes out of the shower to find his partner on the bed butt naked masturbating with a condom on....confused, he says "hey what are you doing i have to leave for work" to that he replies "well i am so happy you got yourself a job i figured the least i can do is pack your lunch for ya" =)



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(Prolly already heard this one)

What happenes when a Jew with a boner walks into a wall?

He breaks his nose.


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Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time?
A: Hit an Ethiopian kid in the face with a frying pan.


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Q: What is a redneck virgin?
A: A seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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Q: What is the most positive thing in harlem?
A: HIV


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Q: What's the difference between a British man and his girlfriend?
A: His girlfriend has a higher sperm count.

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Q. How do you know if a Chinese person robbs your house?
A. Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later, the fucker is still trying to back out of your driveway.

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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?
A: They both drip when they're fucked.


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Q: What do you call a fat chinese person?
A: A chunk.

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Q: How are fat bitches and Mo-peds the same?
A: They are both fun to ride, but you don't tell your friends about them.


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Q: How do you blindfold a chinese person?
A: Dental floss.

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Q: How do you know when a redneck has her period?
A: She's only wearing one sock.


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Q: What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?
A: Full

Q: Why do Jewish girls like to fuck doggy style?
A: They can't stand to see somebody else have a good time.


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Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: One stops sucking when you slap it.

[Wesley Pipes]

i know it doesnt compare to your jokes
okay let me try again
what happened to the peanut when it was walking down the street?
it got assaulted??

okay another peanut joke
how did the peanut die?

they ate his nuts? lol
okay you still win Wesley :thumbsup:

lol i didnt realise it was a competition lol...

but the classics are still the best

[benagain]

"A guy walked into a bar............and it hurt"

-Beavis and Butt-Head This Book Sucks

:stoned:

[Oneironaut]

I came up with this one on my own.

Why did the lonely man join the penis enlargement club?
































Because he felt a need to be long.

[Wesley Pipes]

I came up with this one on my own.

Why did the lonely man join the penis enlargement club?
































Because he felt a need to be long.

lol that was actually pretty good