Cereal in the fridge, milk in the pantry. Aww yeah.Quote:
Originally Posted by SnSstealth
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Cereal in the fridge, milk in the pantry. Aww yeah.Quote:
Originally Posted by SnSstealth
I always seem to put my wallet, keys, drill, laptop in the fridge when I'm super stoned.Quote:
Originally Posted by stinkyattic
Those fucking stoners, always putting shit in the fridge that doesn't belong there... pot is bad, kids!
Now excuse me while I go re-seed my lawn where that drunk driver drove across it last weekend...
being sober
working on new compost pile. chopping up dead plant/vegg matter and cutting the tip ofd my first fingr off.
now it takes forever to type. lol
OUCH! Don't do that.Quote:
Originally Posted by texas grass
Oh how I wish I could get that stoned again. I remember it was nice.Quote:
Originally Posted by daihashi
I don't seem to do a lot of stupid stoner stuff in the kitchen, but I have this thing with the drinking glass cupboard and the milk. I don't know what the hell the deal is, but at least a couple times a month I catch myself putting the milk into the cupboard after getting a glass. The first time I left in in for a day.
Thing is I'm not really that stoned ever. I vaporize but I vaporize shwag. It will only do so much.Quote:
Originally Posted by Opie Yutts
I'm one of those bright eyed coherent stoners. I just have a thing with putting weird things in the fridge. I do it when I'm sober also but more so when I've been smoking.
ive got a pretty funny one
my buddy comes over to smoke some dank ganja from the club - mr nice. so anyways he takes like 2 huge gravity bongs and we were lit out of our mind watching a movie and he was like "can i use your phone i need to make a call" i was like "sure, go ahead." He picks up the phone dials the number and puts the phone up to his head upside down. he was trying to talk to the person for like 3 minutes i was laughing so hard omg funniest thing ever.:stoned::D
LOL Opie I just did that yesterday, but I was still after baked from the night before and was wandering around the kitchen and put the milk back in the cupboard and turned around for a second, and then i realized what I did. hahaQuote:
Originally Posted by Opie Yutts
LOL, I can picture it.Quote:
Originally Posted by greenatik
I've been dry for about a month now, and still have several more weeks to go before I'll be good again. As the days roll by, and anticipation sets in more, I've been finding myself becoming less and less coherent in my daily activities. Just this morning, for instance, I frantically tore my entire house apart looking for my car keys, under the assumption for some reason that I brought them in with me last night. (I never bring my keys in, but rather leave them in the ignition of my car so as to ensure I don't forget where I put them.) I've done this for years, but I must have had a dream last night that I brought them in with me, because I was positive that I left them lying around somewhere. I checked the pockets of every pair of pants/shorts I own (clean and dirty), checked under the bed, in dresser drawers, drawers in bathrooms, the kitchen, and elsewhere, in cabinets, refrigerator, oven, etc. Finally, after getting frustrated, I went to my car to get a cigarette... which I actually knew would be there. Lo and behold, there were my keys, still in the ignition. :wtf:
I am such a f#$*ing sober bastard...
Wow, the ol' switcheroo. Normally it's the stoned people that forget where the keys are.
LOL... I'm the exception to that rule. I become more of a bumbling idiot the soberer I get.Quote:
Originally Posted by Opie Yutts
this is all too good. :jointsmile:
i've done some funny shit when stoned. :stoned:
if only i could remember though. :S5:
I had a 2k limit on my credit card, but the bank said I only had 900 in available funds, and that my balance was 1100 bucks.
SOooo thinking I'd overdrawn, I called and asked them to bump my credit limit to 3k, so I could have 2k spending thinking it would put me back under my limit.
When in reality, I was retardedly high, and didn't realize 900+1100 is 2000. That, and I didn't understand why I would need another thousand so I could spend 2 thousand.
I was just stupid as shit that day.
Wake and bake. Road trip. Drove off with the gas pump still in the tank. Thankfully it had a quick disconnect thing on the hose. I took it back to the gas station, after driving 2 miles with it hanging from the side of the tank. I told them I was sorry, and got out of there fast. I would pay 100$ for a picture of the expression on my face dragging that thing back into there. That happened about 16 years ago. That was my penultimate stoner moment.
looking to buy a pizza stone for my oven, they wanted about 30 or 40 bucks. so i went to home depot and bought a concrete stepping stone 18x18x2 for $1.99. i put it in the oven a cranked it up to 500* to test it out. i figured the worse that would happen would be it would crack. WRONG, after an hour or so, it exploded like a friggin' bomb!! blew the door off the oven,bent the racks,seriously dented the empty pans, dented the interior of the oven, and broke the gas line and element in the oven. when i came into the kitchen, the every horizontal surface, was covered in pieces of concrete. lucky no one was in there when she blew. so trying to save 30 or 40 bucks cost me over $500 for a new oven,pans, and a pizza stone. what a jack ass i can be!:stoned:
My first time smoking was outside my dorm at 8 in the evening. I took a rip rip from some dank stuff and chilled for about 10 minutes before walking back. I had no conception of time and thought that it was past 11 so the dorm would have been locked and had to get in through the front. I did not want to talk to the guy who lets you in so me and my friend waited outside the door for 30 minutes until someone opened the door. The door was unlocked the whole time because it was only like 8:20. I thought it was the funniest thing ever and felt like an idiot for about 10 minutes before I forgot about it and ate some cheese sticks.
damn this thread is halarious
smoked a blizzy on the way to the mall. made sure i grabbed my wallet and cell phone. walked around the mall, tried on some shoes at the puma store. then i realized i had my phone and wallet...BUT NO KEYS!!! walk back out to the parking garage to find my truck still running and the doors locked!!! f*ckin chronic!! :jointsmile:
reading this stuff is funny. I'm thinking how stupid you all are. j/k
I was in this restaurant with my wife and I reach in my shirt pocket for the 50% off coupon. Well, I flung a half oz out onto the table and was not too quick on the draw to see what I had done....DOH! Waitress was cool though.
I solved a lot of world problems in my head while I was stonned I just was unable to put any to goood use.....
That reminds me of another one. Years back I ran a business out of my home. A customer came over, and we gathered around my drafting table to discuss a project. We talked for about 10 minutes, then he left. That's when I noticed the 1/4 oz. sitting on the drafting table. He remained a customer for years, and I never found out if he saw it, but it was damn obvious.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shovelhandle
You and I both.Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenLeaf420
Quote:
Originally Posted by italian04
I've done this before except I was sober and had some irritating fuck in my car that I was just trying to hurry up and get away from. I felt like running him over after I finally got my car unlocked.
But far as being stoned and forgetting stuff... This was 5yr ago or so and me and a buddy had been riding around smoking, visiting other friends throughout the day. We go to my house smoke one then head out, I stop by the store to buy a pack of smokes and cannot locate my ID. I drove back to my house, couldn't find it and ended up back tracking to everyone's house that I had been to. Ultimately I found my ID in one of my pants pockets. Took about 3 hours and half a tank of gas. :(
I can't remember how my ID ended up out of my wallet and in a different pocket that I normally stick it in. :rastasmoke:
I love it when I get stoned and hide my herb from myself. Like in the pantry, on the back of the TV/monitor, pantry, fridge, inside a clock, inside a pillow. Or leave it on top of the fireplace mantle and can't find where I put my herb and my pipe for 1-5days.
One night I smoked a bowl and went to sleep, I left my herb on my night stand and when I woke up my entire house had bits and pieces of herb all over the place. I was totally baffled until I noticed one of my cats had ate more food than usual and was very lethargic. :stoned:
Its a shame when you have to worry about your own pets pinching your stash. :beatdeadhorse:
You might consider growing some catnip as well.Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthernGuerilla
Was at a red light high as hell , feet got a lil numb so I couldnt really feel how much pressure I had on the brake so I slowly began to release pressure on the brake not noticing i was rolling forward straight into the rear bumper of the car in front of me =/
I have catnip growing in several places outside, a few spots the cats have killed it off by eating and rubbing on the plants. I still think they prefer cannabis over catnip. I've been too stingy lately to test it out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kodiak
reminds me of something...
One time me and a friend just finished smoking one and we were at a red light and he was fucking with me and made me forget where my cell phone was. I freaked out, started looking for my phone and accidentally took my foot off the brake and bumped into the car in front of me. I dented my bumper and the other car's bumper. I got out of my car and the driver of the other car got out and looked at his bumper and then looked at me and told me to get back in my car and don't worry about it.
My eyes were red as they could be. I wondered if he was being nice to some stoner kid or what. All I could think about is that I was going to jail for DWI. :( He looked pissed as hell.
SouthernGuerilla,
Gotta give you major props for the Avatar man, classic
:thumbsup:
Hey if it fits... I've been using this avatar on another board(shroom related) since 02 or so.Quote:
Originally Posted by SunnyD
:jointsmile:
Hey yours is pretty cool too.Quote:
Originally Posted by SunnyD
Working on the boat while stoned, I was trying to work a throttle cable. I was pushing on it with a pliers. The pliers slipped off, but my hand kept pushing. The cable went under my thumbnail, out the back side, along the bone up to my knuckle. Please, for the love of God, do not try this at home. Here's a picture: Cannabis.com Forums Message Boards - Medical Marijuana, Cannabis Club, Dispensary, News
yeah that hurt. :(Quote:
Originally Posted by Opie Yutts
just finished puffin and go somewhere like movie store or 7-11 take my keys out set them on dash make sure i have my wallet and phone leave car lock it and forget my keys inside... but ive done this when im not high as well
I hate that. I started carrying a spare car key in my wallet, and a spare house key in my car. Saved my ass more than once.
bump
I'm such a stoner I keep picking immature buds off my plants to smoke. I just now ACCIDENTALLY cut off one of the wrong buds. I had pollenated that bud a little over a month ago. So I get inside where I can see(it's dark outside at the moment) and notice LARGE seed pods, I open one to see a BROWN SEED! AHHHH. A few greenish brown ones but mostly brown.
Good thing I pollinated two buds on that one plant. :D
Just ran across this thread and it is HILARIOUS, as previously stated.
So about 4 of us are packed in a car. Baked thoroughly and munchies like a mother. Pull up to taco bell at like midnight take 15 minutes to order $35 worth of foo and the guy is obviously pissed at us, so after we order my buddy forgets to stop at the window drives straight through and by now we are all convinced they are gonna **** with our food. Buddy pulls outta the taco bell towards the highway and tacobell peeps come running out of the store onto the street screaming and throwing papers, meanwhile we bust out laughing and peel off.
Another time high in a friends garage, had just order pizza and there was one slice left and it was mine through some simple mathematics. Ask a friend to pass it and he wants to be a dick so i get up in a fit to go snag it and *CRASH* bowl piece in a million pieces.
I was with my gf downtown and my battery suddenly died right as Im going to spark the blunt and go back home. So I get the car jumped and we smoke the blunt. Have to pull in for gas, turn the car off, gas up and off we go, right? Nope had to get the car jumped again haha
my friend that recently started smoking had never hit a bong before. i guess he didnt know to pull the slider out of my new 10in ROOTS so after pulling this bong for a few seconds and not clearing it he coughed into the bong and shot the bowl and the cherry over the table onto my lap on the opposite couch!! :mad:
I had just smoked at my dealer's house and took home a quarter of the BEST weed I have seen/smelled/smoked... My car smelled like a fucking grow room, and I got pulled over. The cops said they smelled it, and when I got out of my car my eye drops fell on the ground in front of the cops feet... dead giveaway. Ticket, fine, and 8 hour drug class
:S2: It's so aptly called dope
Funny stories guys... Ive done loads of stoopid things. Mainly either laughing or breathing into the ashtray sending a cloud of ash everywhere. Same thing with a half made joint. That happens frequently.
I remember going to take care of my plants in the shed. I always make up a nutrient solution fresh and put it in a 3 liter bottle. I then shake it vigorously for a minute to get it nice and oxygenated. However... in my stoned stupor I forgot that I'd used that bottle to store the petrol from my girlfriends scooter while I repaired it the day before. As I was pouring the fert\water\petrol mixture into the plants soil, I got a whiff of petrol. When the bottle was empty.. it dawned on me. Shiiiiiiit!!! A major flush was administered and the plant seemed to be ok after a week or so. The soil still had a petrol odour to it tho for quite a while after lol
A few years back I had a couple of seedlings on the window sill. They were pretty much newborn with just the cotyledons opened up and developing the roots underneath. I dont know why I did this, I really dont and I never thought it would actually hit it but you know when u fire an elastic band off your thumb... lol. I was sat on the sofa and the seedlings were about 8 foot away. I fired an elastic band at the plants and it hit one of them perfectly, snapping it clean in half. I was gutted lol.
Pot induced stupidity is a funny thing! Great thread Oppie. :D