ok i gotta get this off my chest...

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Originally Posted by kiwi

:o OK i was raised by just a mother because my father was mentally too young to be a good father, and there was my older sister as well in all this. My mum was a solo mum with 2 lil girls and a divorce to deal with at the age of 19. Yes life was hard and even threw out the years my father lived the good life while my mum struggled to bring us girls up. My mum never went on any government support, she worked hard and made sure us girls had the best life she could. My father remarried a lady with two daughters of her own and it was only then my father wanted his own two girls in his life. To cut a long story short I am now 35 and I owe my success to my mother and I have told my father this to his face. I got married in 2001 and my father took it for granted that he was walking me down the aisle, but to his shock I told him that it was a right he did not have and it was my mum that had been there for me for all those years.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I have a good life and I don't need to have my father around to make my feel like a success. I have a wonderful son, a loving husband and a good life.... BTW my mum is now a self-made millionaire and I have been lucky enough to learn my life skills from her that has meant my hubby and I now live a very comfortable life. :D

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But that's Kiwi money,,,everyone knows Kiwi money is not real...

Bravo Kiwi,,,warms my heart to hear stories like yours...

shit man, wish i could say i feel you, but i have no fucking clue what youre going through now. your dad doesnt mean shit,he's never been there for you or anything. he IS your dad, but he isnt a father if that makes sense. i am truly sorry to hear all that, but aside from him it seems you have a very loving family that you should think about, and not your quote, un-quote dad

i'm starting to feel a bit better, not crying so much... music and all your thoughts must be helping.. still really upset over it all, it brought back alot of emotions.. and i was really not ready for it...

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Originally Posted by 4gan2ja0

shit man, wish i could say i feel you, but i have no fucking clue what youre going through now. your dad doesnt mean shit,he's never been there for you or anything. he IS your dad, but he isnt a father if that makes sense. i am truly sorry to hear all that, but aside from him it seems you have a very loving family that you should think about, and not your quote, un-quote dad

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lol with the exception of my mom, brothers, grandma, grandpa, son, and wife my entire family hates me... and wants nothing to do with me.. they never have.. pretty much the family i knew consisted of my grandma's kids and their families... and all of her kids have always been jealous of me because i had more growing up then they did... i think to them they think she loves me more then she loved them... but when they were growing up there was five of them, and a very limited income... she tried to give them things... but sometimes it was hard... when it came time for her to raise me, she was better off financially (much better) and there was only one of me... but of course, jealousy never sees logic.

btw my psycho uncle (the one tha'ts tried to kill me, and is now 'screwed' facing 2-10 years in prison for his fifth DUI, and lives just out back in a garage apartment that's on our property) i know for a fact is jealous of me, and always has been... he's admitted it.. he's flat out said that i got more than he did growing up, and he takes it as his mother loves me more than him...

you know i have had one very fucked up life... and i'm truely shocked i haven't already killed myself (although i have tried a few times... i just ended up puking up all the pills and sleeping for a very long time...) much more i'm grateful for the ones i have.. i couldn't have asked for a better wife, or a more perfect son...

if anyone wants to keep me company i'll be in chat (which is strange for me cuz i never really go) not even nessicarily wanting to talk about what's going on right now (although we can if youw anna) i just need company

I hope everything works out for you man

Slipknot, honey, I'm so sorry about all of this. I'm sorta late getting onto the boards tonight and reading this. I must say, your grandma is awesome. And your dad is a train wreck. Always has been. Always will be, most likely. Sounds to me like you're working through your separation and grief right now, which is never easy, but it's necessary, and you're wise to keep him at a safe distance even though I know that hurts, too. You're doing what you need to be doing to protect yourself and your own little family, and that's the right thing, no matter how bad it hurts.

I really admire and respect the fact that the lesson you take from your own upbringing is how not to be that way with your own son, which is a lot more than lots of people who grow up in addicted, dysfunctional families do. Most of them simply pass the insanity and neglect down from generation to generation. You're already 100 times more of a grownup, responsible man than your dad ever was.

I love you, Slipknot. Keep your chin up. And listen to your father Skink's wise advice up there about keeping that drinking in check. You've inherited a double dose of addiction genes from both your parents. When you feel them stirring and urging you toward whatever form of alcohol is your poison of choice, go take a look at that precious toddler in the next room and remember that he's counting on your to be more sober and steady than your parents were for you.

i don't think anyone really understands my alcohol use.... lets just say i drink a few beers (12 ozs) to kick up something else i'm doing... well mostly anyways, there are a few times when i just try to get drunk as i can.. but that's pretty rare. i guess you could sayi drink regularly, but i enjoy the taste of beer, at the same time i rarely get drunk...

oh yeah, i'm in a pretty decent mood now.. took 5 hours but i'm pretty much as normal as i usually am now..

im sorry mate ,


you knwo i geuss your the only other person i know wh must know what it feels ,.... not knowing your father at all is better then knowing who he is and that he doesnt give a shit about you.

my dads an achoholic, i know its not on the same list as crack but some people u just cant help,


help yoursef, help your family . be the man your dad never was.