My ex gf is pregnant...

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Originally Posted by birdgirl73

Thanks, Toots. I just read her your comment about a gentle hug and she smiled and raised a hand. If she could say something understandable, she would, but that ability seems to have gone away now. Mostly just simple gestures.

She's not really eating much other than some applesauce and an occasional popsicle. I'm going to make your chicken soup tomorrow night if I get to the store on my way home and see if she'll take some of that. I think I may need to feed and nurture her more than she really needs to eat. Her body's stopping those basic functions like it's supposed to on the way to the end. The hospice folks have told us not to force it, but she nodded yes when I asked her about some soup and read her your recipe earlier this week, and so I'll let you know how that goes over. She seems mostly only interested in fluids, so I'm going to strain out some broth or maybe just some broth with a few noodles.

Much love to you, my friend. I'm going to go lie down in there in her room where I can doze and keep an ear out for her. I'll talk to you tomorrow and let you know how the Adventures in Chicken Soup go over at the Bird house.

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Omgosh, and on this note I think I'll have myself a small cry and go to bed.
I have my memories too and they are vivid. I always say it's harder on those left behind because we can't see them. I believe they can see us and watch us. I absolutely believe I'd not be here now if my dad and whoever else weren't watching out for me 'specially in my "wild youth". We all need to believe and this is how I cope.
I have great joy in my heart that your sister responded to my hug and I'm keeping my fingers crossed on the soup. Buy some new cheesecolth and strain with that so no pieces get in and no odd smells too. I'll be making some too, right along with you.
I know you won't sleep but try to rest some and God be with your family, on call, for as long as needed.:( @---->---

What happened to ald fashioned solutions like pushing her down the stairs?

Ahhh Acouwaila it's time to step up and man up. If you think you're mature enough to have a sexual relationship, you should be mature enough to deal with the situation. If your ex is pregnant you have a long and arduous journey ahead of you. I will offer a few words of advice as like most guys Ive been in your shoes and they never fit well. Where to start....

Please dont considor an abortion, my ex got pregnant at the age of 19 and she was adamant she wasnt ready to be a mother. I myself was full of joy and happiness inside, but didnt want to put more pressure on my ex. Stupidly I kept schtum and didnt say how I was feeling until the night before the abortion. I told her how I was feeling, how i thought what a great mother she'd make, how we could support each other and how I couldnt bare the thought of her going ahead with this. Maybe my timing was bad and maybe I should've said something earlier, but I just didnt want to pressure her or make her feel worse than she was already feeling. I was told to shut up and how could i do this to her, well sorry for finally getting the courage to tell you how I feel. Isn't that one of the key things in a relationship, honesty?

Well to cut along story short she went ahead with the abortion against my wishes, for which I have never forgiven her for. Had she had kept our baby, he/she would've been three years old this August.
I rememeber the day we went to the abortion clinic like it was yesterday, it surprised me at some of the age of the girls there. There was one we sat next to that had only just turned 13. On the way to the clinic me and my ex didnt speak one word, our eyes never met. I was dying inside.
When we got to the clinic we were taken to a waiting room for what seemed like hours. She was called to put on her one of those hospital gowns and taken away from me and led upstairs. I just sat there not knowing what to do, or where to go. I sat there with my face in my hands, crying, crying like I've never cried before.
After a while a nurse came over to and led me to a side room, with a few chairs, coffee machine and others like myself. I took a look around the room to see others crying like I and others with a relieved look on upon their face. They made me feel physically sick. There was a door across the room which led out to a little garden, I took myself out there and plonked myself down on a bench and lit the joint I'd taken with me. I took a deep drag and thought of what my beloved girlfriend was doing and what she was going through. I took a look around the garden and saw this HUGE black guy to my left, bent over a wall, dreads falling around his face, crying so hard. Ive never seen someone so upset before. It broke my heart as I knew what he was going through. I walked over to him and put my hand on his shoulder to be greeted with a gruff ' Fuck Off!' I smiled a smile, a smile that told of my pain too. I put my joint out, id only had a few burns but just didnt feel like smoking. I went inside and went to the coffee machine, got two cups of coffee and went back out to the guy outside. I went over to him and handed him a cup, sparked up my joint and said if you want some time to yourself I understand bro. He apologised for swearing at me and then broke down in tears. We just stood there for ages hugging each other and crying. We smoked together told told each other of our pain. Turns out he was in the same boat as me, he wanted to be a daddy, but mummy didnt. We cried some more and then both of went inside to await our girlfriends. A few long hours passed and my girlfriend breezed into to the room and said she was ready to go home.

I remember going to a headshop on the way home and she bought me some shit i didnt want, like buying me smoking paraphernalia could make up for what she's just done. We got the train home and that night we went down the local snooker hall drinkin, shootin pool like nothing had happened. I was so cut up inside, but didnt want it to show it. Needless to say her doing this contributed massively to our break up and what hurt the most was she would never talk to me about it. I hate her for what she did and will never forget it. So please bro, think long and hard before you make any decisions.

Another thing to think about is a girl I was seeing a while back. She had a lot of issues which came clearer the more I got to know her. Im no doc or pyschologist but i thought i could help this girl. But alas i wasnt able to and took the easy way out and decided to leave her. When I told her this she told me she was pregnant and I couldnt leave her. I was absolutly devastated as she wasnt fit to be mother, let alone look after herself and I wasnt in love with her like i was the last time I was in this situation. I was so scared and didnt know who to turn to or to talk to. I decided to speak to her mother as me and her were pretty tight and i used to fill her in on stuff going on in the girls life. Trust me the girl was seriously messed up and i'd be surprised if she isnt in some kind of mental institute now. I couldnt just walk away though, i was silly enough to get myself involved sexually with someone that had so many issues, but I knew I had to be man enough to deal with it. So i called her mum and told her that I thought id got her daughter pregnant. Her mum was so good and understanding and told me there was noway she could concieve and she'd done this before with other boyfriends. She apologised perfusely and told me to cut all ties with her daughter. You wouldnt believe the lengths the girl went to! Fake doctors letters, fake pregnancy tests, you name it, comforting me when I was crying telling me it'll all be okay. How can someone to do this anyone, you cant play with peoples lives like this.
Now im not saying your ex is anything like the above, but id get her to do a test infront of you or atleast go with her to the docs and make sure that she is actually pregnant. I wouldnt want to call her liar, but some girls will do what ever it takes to keep you by their side. I hope things work out for you Acouwaila and if you ever need a chat or to vent or what ever. Here's my email addy [email protected] im also on hotmail so feel to add me if you wish and remember you're not alone.

Peace

Buddy

As usual, Birdgirl is wise. If it were me, I'd go the adoption route. That way your conscience is totally clear AND you get to help some childless family realize their dream. Who knows, the child could grow up to be the person that somehow brings peace to the planet, or cures cancer, or something else momentous.

I would die if one of my boys had been aborted or given up for adoption. Even if they didn't come at the best time in my life, I thank god every day for them. My youngest was born at prolly the roughest point in my life where me and my wife had to live with family because of money and life problems, my wife ended up in a womans shelter during the pregnancy because her mother wanted to kill our child and we just couldn't do it. I thank god every day for his birth, and smile every time I see his face. Even if ya aren't with a woman and you have a child together, you are really and truly a man when you do everything you can for that kid and be there for em always. While kids aren't for everyone, they are for me. So much to teach kids, and watch em grow, and do everything i can for them to make them into great people.

You know, this could all be a ruse to get you to get back with her. She might still have feelings for you, and is now resorting to entrapment. Find out for sure. If she IS, then an unfortunate fall down the stairs is in order.

Seriously though, good luck with it. I don't know what to tell you since I couldn't imagine that happening to me. Had a few scares with my g/f before, but it all was credited to lateness and we're in the clear now. Hope it works out, think hard before making a choice . . .

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Originally Posted by Acouwaila

So...for the past couple of weeks ive been visiting her and having sex (I know it was wrong and I really didnt have the intentions to every time i went over but it happened)

and now....shes pregnant...no doubt about it...no test was done but shes got symptoms....

i mean...im only 18 years old I just started college....

I dont even have a job yet...

I really dont believe in abortion

= (

what do i do???

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i just have one question.

having unprotected sex, what did you think was going to happen?

if you dont believe in abortion, and you arent using condoms, and she isnt using birth control, then a good handjob was in order, followed by a good fingerin'
Now that thats too late, you and this x have some decisions to make. good luck, and the next time? THINK THINGS THROUGH!!!

dai*ma

Fairplay daima, but I doubt a lecture is what he needs right now. I've been having unprotected sex for about a year now (granted, I use the 'pull-out' method, but still) and have only just begun to realize how dangerous it really is. Safety during sex is so underrated, a child, hundreds of thousands of dollars, the stress and pressures of young parenting and a potentially ruined life aren't worth the 20 mins (or however long one may go on for) of fun - let alone the last 10 seconds.

UM until a test comes out positive its just speculation that shes even knocked up. I have learned from experience that girls tend to freak out and think they are pregnant all the time. Now a days it doesnt even bother me when they say theyre pregnant, i never believe them, and i still dont have any babies. Mwahah
Ive seen girls lactating too for no reason other than fcked up hormones. Just get a test and next time dont panic like this until your sure. Also, learn the fine art of pulling out. Good day.

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Originally Posted by Euphoric

UM until a test comes out positive its just speculation that shes even knocked up. I have learned from experience that girls tend to freak out and think they are pregnant all the time. Now a days it doesnt even bother me when they say theyre pregnant, i never believe them, and i still dont have any babies. Mwahah
Ive seen girls lactating too for no reason other than fcked up hormones. Just get a test and next time dont panic like this until your sure. Also, learn the fine art of pulling out. Good day.

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It amazes me how many guys think the pull out method is safe. Have you not heard of pre-cum or Sti's? If not I suggest you do some reading!

Peace

Buddy