Originally Posted by Oblio
No problem...just make sure you have a paper trail of each payment you make to her or a reciept showing you did. MAKE sure it is in HER handwriting. She can then not say you missed payments and have you thrown in jail. If she claims you missed a payment the state can take over. This means you send payment to them and they forward it to her. NO DEAL you to make can supercied a court order.
Yes this is true, this worries me allot, seeing that she has lied to me in the past, I fully expect her to come at me at a later date wanting more.
In texas all payments go through the state and the charge 5 dollars each. This is a HUGE revenue builder for them. You state may have similar.
It doesnt cost anything, but I have had a close friend go this route, it didnt work out for her tho, he had his boss pay him off the books whenever she was being wicked about things and messed with her money. Then he would say, hey what can I tell ya, I had to take a week off, boss told me to stay home, if you would get that deduction off, I would be able to pay you with a check.
If you get a gut feeling the mediator is favoring her..then becareful. I dont get this feeling, what I do see is that they try very hard to get people to agree, not favoring one or the other mind you, just seems like they arent looking out for either of us. Fair is what 2 people agree on is fair, what someone else may think is a raw deal, may seem fair to someone else.
As for some advice from others...in some states the child can make a choice which parent they want to stay with. This on the norm is 14 to 15 yrs of age or higher. Some maybe be lower, i don't know. In most cases children want to stay with the parent who lets them get away with the most. Do not let your kids pit you two against each other...you will know if this is happening.
"Mom grounds me when i make a D, i want to go live with dad"
"Dad make me do dishes and mow the yard, I want to move in with mom"
Here its 12 years old if the judge or childrens advocate deems them capable, hopefully, this stuff wont be needed.
You two also need to think which of you live in the better school district...this is very important. If your kids are good at sports, which school might they be able to make first string. Getting them into a college with scholarships for anything they excel in could be far more than the total of child support you could ever pay.
I plan on liveing in the same school district, ATM, she pays over 10k a year for them to go to a private religiuos school I am against it whole heartedly, but its a battle I cant win.
Always think of the big picture ! Now-a-days it is very hard to get any job that allows for a comfortable living without some type of degree. Every parent should want their kids to have a better life then they did.
I am in a union, and would make enough to live in a nice neighborhood, not a big house, but a nice neighborhood is very important for my kids, not even close to being as nice as the one they live in now, but one that I wont be afraid for them to play with the other kids on the block. Its a different world here, its play dates and such, nothing like where i grew up.
Some states can mandate you pay CS for 4 yrs past high school graduation if they are attending college. BEFORE signing anything from a mediator..ask to take the paperwork home to read it over in peace and quiet. They should not object unless they fear you catching a certian wording. This can give you a chance to have legal counsel or a knowledgable person read it over. Once you sign anything it is a done deal and will take a lot to get it changed.
Here you have to pay until they graduate college or get amancipated, the same friend who had his money deducted from his check is going thru this now, not only did he pay for her to go to college but he is still paying child support while she is away. This child isnt even his BTW, he married this girl after she had her, the judge ordered him to support that child. This comes into play because im not exactly sure our forth child is even mine. Ill have a DNA test before its all said and done tho..
