I need advice

[Marlboroman]

OK this isnt about sex, but im putting this here anyway.

I am currently going thru a divorce.

My wife has stated that if i give her custody she will waive child support.

This is important because of where we live, I am not native to the area and I have no family other than my children in the area. I cannot move into my parents basement, I have no relatives here at all.

My wife makes a hefty salary approx 120% more than me. For a while now ive been a stay at home dad, this was done because my job is easy to restart, her career would take time to develope back to the point she is right now.

Where we live is incredibly expensive to live, at my rate of pay, I would have enough to survive, but not live.

When we get into the mediators office, she now claims she wants child support, and that she wants me to pay on a weekly basis.

We are trying to negotiate to a settlement that I will pay child support when I make (x) a year, and when I do it will go into a college fund for the children.

The problem I have is that this person is a liar, she is willing to lie, cheat, steal, as long as she gets what she wants.

I fully expect that even if i accept that bargain, she will have me in court asking for my money, it would only be a matter of time. After all, she has already lied in this process by saying she would waive child support, then when I agree to give her custody she now wants support.

I want to make it clear that this person does not need my money, she makes more than enough, like I said 120% more than I do, me giveing her anything would literally test my survival. its that expensive to live here. I think she just hates me for interupting her story.

Ive been told that if anyone has a case to get custody of the kids its me, but it will finacially break the both of us and take 3-4 years to fight out.

So faced with this what would ya do?

If ya need more info just ask.

Peace.

Marlboroman Reviewed by Marlboroman on 07-28-2006. I need advice OK this isnt about sex, but im putting this here anyway. I am currently going thru a divorce. My wife has stated that if i give her custody she will waive child support. This is important because of where we live, I am not native to the area and I have no family other than my children in the area. I cannot move into my parents basement, I have no relatives here at all. My wife makes a hefty salary approx 120% more than me. For a while now ive been a stay at home dad, this was done Rating: 5

[Bong30]

So sorry to hear of this MM..... politics is one thing, life is another.

Let me think about it today at work.... ill get back to you.

My best to you
B30

She wont get full custody...thats for dam sure.....MM

Joint most likely........


What do you want?

[cannabis campbell]

Basically GET HER TO PUT IT DOWN IN WRITING in a legal document!

[friendowl]

put antifreeze in her gatorade bottle

[Bong30]

MM,

My daughter whom is 6, i have been her dad since she was 1. So she is my step daughter, but we are going through a custody battle with the other family.

went to mediation twice......

last time they were escourted out yelling "well see you in court"

We had to pony up 2 grand for a lawyer.............


You want joint custody and you want to show the judge who makes the money, like you said 120% and she needs to pay YOU alimony......Take that.

MM judges are not stupid they will see through her bull shit...........

1st thing
get a lawyer....... barrow money from parent put on a credit card. Kids are worth it. ALSO SEE IF SHE WILL PAY YOUR LEAGAL EXSPENSES. remember she makes the money. Go for it all and see where the chips fall. She would do it to you...im sure

[Bong30]

put antifreeze in her gatorade bottle

maybe plan B, friend

[Marlboroman]

MM,

My daughter whom is 6, i have been her dad since she was 1. So she is my step daughter, but we are going through a custody battle with the other family.

went to mediation twice......

last time they were escourted out yelling "well see you in court"

We had to pony up 2 grand for a lawyer.............


You want joint custody and you want to show the judge who makes the money, like you said 120% and she needs to pay YOU alimony......Take that.

MM judges are not stupid they will see through her bull shit...........

1st thing
get a lawyer....... barrow money from parent put on a credit card. Kids are worth it. ALSO SEE IF SHE WILL PAY YOUR LEAGAL EXSPENSES. remember she makes the money. Go for it all and see where the chips fall. She would do it to you...im sure

Ya, that is how she would have handled it.

But that isnt me, altho im willing to go there, id like to see if there can be a middle ground before i go toe to toe with her.

A custody battle will run us 175-200 grand each. thats a pretty solid number comeing from 3 different lawyers.

I have been told that worst case senario, I would get joint custody with her being primary care provider, and that she would have to pay me maintenance for a set number of years. But that whoever has primary care gets child support, and the judge has no choice but to go by the NYS guidelines. Which would take 31% of my adjusted net gross. thats my yearly pay minus half what i pay in taxes.

But in the end, if im told to pay her support, I wont be able to live anywhere near my kids. More than likely ill be forced to move to Penn, just to survive, New Jersey isnt much better as far as expensises go.

Going to war is something I am prepared to do, but I want to give this way a chance first.

What Im thinking of doing is going to the next mediation and call her out on the agreement made to waive support if she has custody, and to me being the primary care provider, means she has custody. If she lies and says she never made that agreement, it will be off to war I think..

If she claims the agreement and then says well im changing my mind then ill ask her under waht circumstances is she will to waive support, and then ill judge whether or not to declare war.

If I have to pay her support it means me liveing in poverty, I can go back to Texas and live in poverty with my family, I dont need or want to do it on Long Island.

So if me paying support is what she wants, then I'll take us all into poverty.

[Marlboroman]

ALSO SEE IF SHE WILL PAY YOUR LEAGAL EXSPENSES.

Yes she would, thats already been explained to her by several different lawyers and mediators.

But the only place for her to get the money would be the equity in the house. which would be my money too. She doent have the legs to pay for both lawyers or even one for herself, she needs to be more reasonable.

[nitemarehippiegirl]

You've got to figure out what the best situation is for your kids, my first instinct is to say fight it and try to win custody, but if that is going to take such a long time then maybe it's not really the best situation to put them into.
Whatever happens, always put their needs first, they deserve as much!

I'm sorry that you have to be going through this, my heart goes out to you~ hugs : )

[Oblio]

DUDE...you have a child and you don't want to help support it...thats sad. Besides in the u.s.a. the custodial parent does not say how much you owe. THE COURT DOES! NOW...on another note, When you file for divorce the state gets custody of your child and "AWARDS" custody normally to one of you. AT any given time they can revock custody. If you go in front of a judge and say she gets custody if you don't have to pay...that judge will think you are a total loser as a parent hendering any appearance you have in that court room ever again.