Originally Posted by birdgirl73
Not only is it healthy and good to cry, it's necessary. Oh, Slipknot, my friend, I'm so sorry that happened. You've spent this time being strong for your family and trying to suck that emotion in, but it's the folks who don't let that built-up emotional energy out who are in danger of going nuts. Or going postal. And even then, sometimes, in horrific situations like these, the emotions threaten to overwhelm you.
There are people in this world who are uncomfortable with emotions and don't like any men to show vulnerable feelings. But that's really a statement about the people who judge them and not about the ones who're expressing emotions. Nothing is sexier or more touching to me than a man who can feel and express his feelings. Truly. I couldn't be married to a guy who could not, and I think most self-actualized, sane people feel the same way.
Have you ever given any thought to a few check-in sessions with a good therapist to sort of release some of what's boiling up inside you and get some constructive feedback? Some of what you're going through right now sounds eerily like post-traumatic stress syndrome, Slipknot, which can really eat away at your balance and interrupt your functioning when the previously suppressed emotions start to surface. At difficult times in my life, work with a good counselor has made a lot of difference for me. As I told you in another thread, it helped me when I used to work for the fire department and see traumatic awful things on a frequent basis. It helped me and my husband during a rough spot in our marriage some years ago. And I'm considering a few visits again right now, in fact, after what we've all been through with my sister's illness and death. I think it'll just help the holidays feel less overwhelmingly sad, too.
Give it some thought in case that might feel right to you, too. If you have ever kept a journal of some kind, that's very therapeutic, too. Anything that'll help you get the feelings up and out is healthy. From crying to therapy. And never let anyone else tell you differently. Much love to you, my friend.
