I think I may be becoming insane.... (spiritual discussion)

I need someone to talk to...Maybe someone Buddhist, Maybe the way I could tell my parents is by writing a letter to them. I'm pretty sure my parents wouldn't understand and be very confused with me. I'm not even that close with my parents. I don't ever really talk to them unless I need something and now looking at my relationships with each of my family members it brings me a sadness....I don't know if I can live like this I really need help....I need help.......now im crying.......my life is changing so fast and I feel so lost, alone and confused....

hello. I went through a time where I felt a lot like you. I found myself looking into eastern religions a lot because it made so much more sense to me and made me feel spiritual in a way.
I HIGHLY recommend for you to read:

Siddartha
The Tao of Pooh
The Celestine Prophecy
The Way of the Peaceful Warrior


These are not religious texts with any sort of real rules or facts
But they spoke to me in a way that made me feel like I understood life truly and more meaningfully.

I am serious. Read those books!!
This is actually an awakening for me that I have lost touch with that side of myself, and need to do a little more awakening.

I adjusted your title just a tad and am going to move this thread to our Spirituality area, where I think you'll get even more interesting comments. Fascinating phenomenon you're describing.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Jake420

there is mythes and legends that are pretty far fetched but i personally believe about budists monks "accending" to a higher state of conciousness, which they basically vaporized into nothingness, to a higher place, pretty interesting concept

---

Their molecules started vibrating so fast that we can't see them.

Man... thats very tough... i think i understand a bit how you feel, as im feeling something like it too... i wasnt so enlightened as you did, but i did catch some fleeting glimpses of "enlightenment", like, you if did see sun, then i did see the flicker of a lighter. Anyway it was enough for me lose the interest in the everyday things, as they seems so "unreal"... sometimes, like you, i also wish to come back to when i was ignorant (and was happy being so)... sometimes i long for the enlightenment... so, as you can see, im very confused too.

The only advice i can give is for you learn to meditate. Doing so you will be able to come back to the enlightened state, and it will be easier to make your choices rightly.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Psychoactive420

YOUR RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS NIRVANA I FELT! I JUST LOOKED IT UP -

"There is that dimension where there is neither earth, nor water, nor fire, nor wind; neither dimension of the infinitude of space, nor dimension of the infinitude of consciousness, nor dimension of nothingness, nor dimension of neither perception nor non-perception; neither this world, nor the next world, nor sun, nor moon. And there, I say, there is neither coming, nor going, nor stasis; neither passing away nor arising: without stance, without foundation, without support [mental object]. This, just this, is the end of stress."

---

One of the main tenants of acheiving nirvana is that if you can realize you have acheived nirvana, then you havent.

Alot of people, although not neccessarily yourself, view nirvana as an equivalent to the christian heaven, but it isnt. There is actually a heaven and hell in buddhism, but they are not the same as the christian realms, in many ways. Anyways..

It sounds like you caught a glimpse of something though, and no matter what it is, it has changed you, and given you a chance to change. It isnt often that people are shown a hidden path that they normally would have never seen, but you have been shown, and its up to you to see if you really have the courage to walk it til its end. I think you would find that the path would meet back up with where you were walking before, but have given you much more along the way.

My only advice, coming from personal experience, is to walk at your own pace, so to speak. What you caught a glimpse of, it could burn you like the sun if you get to close too fast, its best to live into the experience, let it come and go as it pleases, and become familar with it, without forcing it. I found meditation made things worse for me, if my goal was to reach that state again.

Enjoy your gift, it is an amazing one. Take the time to explore it and everything it brings to you as much as possible. Id just say that slow and steady is better then quick as possible.

And as always, ymmv on things as complicated as this. :thumbsup:

Hi Psycho, I am not in anyway qualified to advise you, but the subect is compelling so I couln't resist. I have read that dreams usually have a totally different meaning than what seems obvious to the dreamer. For example: a dream about death could interpret as the ending of something and the beginning of something else.:D LaZ, interesting avatar:thumbsup:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Psychoactive420

I need someone to talk to...Maybe someone Buddhist, Maybe the way I could tell my parents is by writing a letter to them. I'm pretty sure my parents wouldn't understand and be very confused with me. I'm not even that close with my parents. I don't ever really talk to them unless I need something and now looking at my relationships with each of my family members it brings me a sadness....I don't know if I can live like this I really need help....I need help.......now im crying.......my life is changing so fast and I feel so lost, alone and confused....

---

There is a mantra, a chant that I like to repeat when I find myself in situations such as that. It helps calm me, and makes things seem less hectic when everything around me seems to be changing or falling apart...

Quote:

---

I have arrived, I am home
In the here, In the now
I am solid, I am free
In the ultimate, I dwell

---

Since you have such an interest in Buddhism, you may want to take some time to study, or at least look into the Four Noble Truths. They, especially in times such as this for you, will be of great help.

Quote:

---

1. Life means suffering.

2. The origin of suffering is attachment.

3. The cessation of suffering is attainable.

4. The path to the cessation of suffering.

---

I suggest taking the time to try to find your own understanding of what these truths mean, and then, after you have figured out what they mean to you, take the time to learn about them online or whatnot. See how your interpretation compares with what others say.

As a note, the fourth noble truth is a link to The Noble Eightfold Path.

Quote:

---

1. Right View
2. Right Intention
3. Right Speech
4. Right Action
5. Right Livelihood
6. Right Effort
7. Right Mindfullness
8. Right Concentration

---

If you get time, try to consider the Eightfold path as well, find your meaning in it as well.

If you believe that the experience you felt was somethign related to Buddhism, then take the time to try to understand the religion and what it teaches.

Dont take little quotes and look at them and see if they work for you. Thats the same as taking the lettuce from a sandwich, and because you like the lettuce, assuming that you like the entire sandwich. Buddhism is a religion that has tenants that are simple and understandable as a standalone, but the real meaning behind everything is interlaced with many other things. The kind of situation where you can "understand" something, but not truely understand something.

Before you is a religion that is simple, yet complex, with lessons that are simple, yet very complex. Take the time to learn about it, and even if its not for you, even if it gives you no answers and doesnt help you at all with what you were looking for help with... you will be more learned, and likely better off for the experience.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I am by no means an expert on the religion, but I can answer what I can, and find answers for you on anything else. :jointsmile:

Psychiactive420, how old are you? Just curious.

Also, death isn't really a bad thing at all. Your dream was bad, becuase you got killed. But death is nothing to be scared of. Trust me, once you reach a certain age.. you are going to WISH you were dead once or twice.

9/13/07

My thoughts today - I still feel so uninterested in everything at my school...I'm looking at this world... It seems so corrupted...at the beginning of time this world was pure of all evil then somehow mankind corrupted it. So much over time it has brought civilization where it is today.... I just wish I could live a normal life like everyone else...It seems like thats impossible...something that did comfort me that I thought of today...everybody dies and theirs nothing you can do about it. It's like from the movie "the matrix" and you were shown what the matrix was and how you've been living a lie for your whole life then you were kicked back out into your fake world...

9/16/07 - One of the best experiences in my life happened today after some meditation.... I have been in some great suffering the last few weeks about finding religion and all - being very confused but I now realize that The best religion is the religion that brings you closest to God we we should all try to find that no matter what it is. I've also come to terms with death and that is is not the end and merely a doorway. I also now realize what Jesus was put on earth for. He was put here for the reason of teaching humans how to interact with each other in a loving peaceful way. I now realize that one of my missions in life will be to better conserve the planet of it's natural resources and we should all find ways in not to pollute the earth. I realize that technology is not a bad thing but we can use it as something to better conserve the planet with - It is only a matter of time when humans come to this realization - until then we should all try to do as much as we can in achieving this. I feel great now thank you all for your help and support :)

Man... i am very happy knowing that you are finding your way. Your realization about religions is very true... in fact, the meaning of religion is (or rather, was) exactly bring people to God. Many religions were corrupted, but that was the original meaning of they.
Concerning Jesus, i have a very personal opinion, maybe right, maybe wrong. But think about. I think people only can love when they know what is love, how it feels to love, and for it, they first must feel how is to be loved. I think nobody can love if they dont "learned" or "felt" what love is like. So, Jesus come to this earth and died for us, loving us in the greatest conceivable way. And then, when we feel the love He showed for us, we can love the another people.
Anyway, again, i wish the best for you. And im much more relieved knowing that you are having this realizations, that will light your way.
So, good luck, and keep shining! :thumbsup:

BTW, you see as meditation helps a lot... you said that your family is catholic... well... my aunt is a very devout catholic also, and she went to an "workshop" for How to Pray in an Efficient Way, How to Enter in Contact with God, and such. She showed me the techniques she learned, and it was almost identical to the techniques of meditation used by buddhist, and such. It seems the priest who did write the book just translated oriental texts of meditation to a catholic language... but the essencial is absolutely the same... so, meditating, praying, whatever, are just different names for entering in contact with God.
If i can find some information about it in the net, i will post the link for you. Maybe it will help you with your parents.

Well... i coulndt find much... anyway, the author of the books is Ignacio Larranaga, and he is well known. I dont think it will be much help for you to read his books, as you already "saw" by yourself, but it would be a good thing to show to your parents, and maybe help them to try achieve enlightenment, even being Catholics.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Coelho

Man... i am very happy knowing that you are finding your way. Your realization about religions is very true... in fact, the meaning of religion is (or rather, was) exactly bring people to God. Many religions were corrupted, but that was the original meaning of they.
Concerning Jesus, i have a very personal opinion, maybe right, maybe wrong. But think about. I think people only can love when they know what is love, how it feels to love, and for it, they first must feel how is to be loved. I think nobody can love if they dont "learned" or "felt" what love is like. So, Jesus come to this earth and died for us, loving us in the greatest conceivable way. And then, when we feel the love He showed for us, we can love the another people.
Anyway, again, i wish the best for you. And im much more relieved knowing that you are having this realizations, that will light your way.
So, good luck, and keep shining! :thumbsup:

BTW, you see as meditation helps a lot... you said that your family is catholic... well... my aunt is a very devout catholic also, and she went to an "workshop" for How to Pray in an Efficient Way, How to Enter in Contact with God, and such. She showed me the techniques she learned, and it was almost identical to the techniques of meditation used by buddhist, and such. It seems the priest who did write the book just translated oriental texts of meditation to a catholic language... but the essencial is absolutely the same... so, meditating, praying, whatever, are just different names for entering in contact with God.
If i can find some information about it in the net, i will post the link for you. Maybe it will help you with your parents.

---

Thank you very much coelho, your posts have been extremely helpful to me over the past week or so, you have helped me through some of my roughest days with your understanding and compassion on my situation. I can recall some mornings where I would wake up feeling confused and lost and then I would think about what I read in your posts the previous night and it comforted me knowing there was someone else out there that cared, and could relate and sympathize with my situation. I don't know If I could come to my realization without your help and I truly thank you for that. God Bless! :):):)

In my opinion it is useless to try and understand god. I believe god is the creator of this great universe and anything beyond.. but I also believe that nature has placed those concepts beyond the reach of my feeble conciousness. Its like a fish trying to understand the water in wich it swims.

I think we have a god-like ability to shape our realities and our lives and the way we see things. But I dont think I'll ever fully understand god, or this amazing thing that I am concious to.

Tripping on LSD or mushrooms was a very eye opening experience for me... amazing yet sometimes a bit scary (I'll admit to being somewhat afraid of the unknown).

I think in life people need to learn that it is impossible to hold on to anything, we need to learn how to let go.. only then will we no longer know fear.

Isnt this place so strange and marvelous though.. sometimes i feel like touching everything i see, amazed by my own perceptual abilities.. this place is truly a work of art at the grandest of scales.. If we fully understood it.. we would probably just be creating such works of our own.

Pshychoactive420, if what you feel because you reached the knowledge of the real nature of the things is so bad as i think it is, its my duty make the best for helping you... im passing through the same things, but in a much smaller scale. I didnt had any illumination, but, slowly, im realizing the emptyness of the everyday things, the void of everything, and its very sad. Its like everything you loved and liked is fading, like images of a dream which fades into nothing as you awakes... if is that what you feel, than i understand you... and if i can do anything for help it, i hope to do. I didnt thought my posts here would help you so much... anyway, it makes me happy to know that i am being of some help to you. Soon you will discover (if you dont know already) that helping other people is one of the shortest ways to happiness... its a paradox... as more happiness you give to other people, more happiness is left with you... So, the best way for enjoying the gift you recieved is to share it with another people... you did see the light... now, shine this light upon another people, help them, and you will be very well rewarded...
Best wishes to you, my brother! :thumbsup:

PS. Stonger psychedelics really are a door to the "other world"... if i dont be enlightened by chance, i hope some day use some of them, and reach the light.

I think religion can help people experience God sometimes, but more often than not confuses people, and gets in the way on their spiritual journey.

Your idea of the afterlife as a feeling which is the same feeling as before you were born does not fit well with mainstream Christianity's idea of the afterlife. That idea is more similar to Mormonism, Buddhism, or Hinduism.

I remember as a young child I constantly asked where I was before I was born. She would always tell me, "nowhere." I didn't accept that answer. I didn't like it, and it didn't make sense to me. I always felt like I was somewhere before I was born.

I believe the story of Jesus to be a parable, as a way to stand up against injustice, hypocrisy, and treat everyone equally. I disbelieve the Bible, not because it speaks of the fantastic as fact, but because Jesus said we would do greater things than he. I was a Xhristan for 25 years or so, even believed it, I really did. But, I have never witnessed a true miracle. If the God of the Bible were real, then all Christians could heal amputees. There would be no more sick people, because the Christians would walk around healing people. I wanted to heal people, I really did. Just so they would feel better. I would pray for sick people, and they would get better on their own, or die.

I actually prayed to God for my friend to be raised from the dead. He stayed dead. I never told anyone, because I thought I just needed more faith. What other reason could it be?

So, my point is, the Bible contradicts itself. Jesus said we would do greater things than he, and we are not walking around just doing miracles randomly, therefore Jesus lied, so the Bible isn't true.

But, that is all what I believe. If a certain religion gets you closer to God, more power to you. Yes, there were times at church where I felt close to God. But, you know the times when I have felt closest to God? They were not at church, they were not when I was praying, reading my Bible, nor listening to Christian music. The times I felt closest to God, was always in the rainforest. Alone. Also visiting the volcano in Hawai'i was a very intense spiritual experience.

I think we go somewhere when we die, and that is the same place we are before we are born. It is Nowhere, but Nowhere is Here, too.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by angry nomad

I think religion can help people experience God sometimes, but more often than not confuses people, and gets in the way on their spiritual journey.

Your idea of the afterlife as a feeling which is the same feeling as before you were born does not fit well with mainstream Christianity's idea of the afterlife. That idea is more similar to Mormonism, Buddhism, or Hinduism.

I remember as a young child I constantly asked where I was before I was born. She would always tell me, "nowhere." I didn't accept that answer. I didn't like it, and it didn't make sense to me. I always felt like I was somewhere before I was born.

I believe the story of Jesus to be a parable, as a way to stand up against injustice, hypocrisy, and treat everyone equally. I disbelieve the Bible, not because it speaks of the fantastic as fact, but because Jesus said we would do greater things than he. I was a Xhristan for 25 years or so, even believed it, I really did. But, I have never witnessed a true miracle. If the God of the Bible were real, then all Christians could heal amputees. There would be no more sick people, because the Christians would walk around healing people. I wanted to heal people, I really did. Just so they would feel better. I would pray for sick people, and they would get better on their own, or die.

I actually prayed to God for my friend to be raised from the dead. He stayed dead. I never told anyone, because I thought I just needed more faith. What other reason could it be?

So, my point is, the Bible contradicts itself. Jesus said we would do greater things than he, and we are not walking around just doing miracles randomly, therefore Jesus lied, so the Bible isn't true.

But, that is all what I believe. If a certain religion gets you closer to God, more power to you. Yes, there were times at church where I felt close to God. But, you know the times when I have felt closest to God? They were not at church, they were not when I was praying, reading my Bible, nor listening to Christian music. The times I felt closest to God, was always in the rainforest. Alone. Also visiting the volcano in Hawai'i was a very intense spiritual experience.

I think we go somewhere when we die, and that is the same place we are before we are born. It is Nowhere, but Nowhere is Here, too.

---

Stole the words out of my mouth. The closest i have felt to god is not in church.. yet out in nature.. where the world is most beautiful.

thats crazy! i though i was the only 1... lately ive been having really powerful dreams too and have had the off and on throughout my life and its wierd cause i usually never dream.


im my dream am another person and i keep wakeing up in bed (but not mine) and leaving my room finding that i am in the same house each time and i know where everything is in the house like whats in each room how big the house is etc... the wierdest thing is the whole time im completely aware that i am dreaming but cant wake up or move in my bed its like im paralized. its sooo intense.

i feel like im crazy that this stuff is happening....

PS. i wasnt under the influence of any drug at the time and have not experimented with anything crazy, just the green stuff.

It's good to hear you're feeling better spiritually. While reading your initial post I thought immediately of a lecture by Alan Watts that I have on my computer. I think it could shed light on the Buddhist veiw of Life and Death, which when Watts states it in his own words, gives me great comfort in moments of existential crisis. If you have any interest I would be happy to send it to you.

youre definitely not insane. it sounds like youve gained an understanding of something that you had no prior concept of. its a long journey along a long path, and it sounds like you took the first step in your dream.

considering that you had no prior concept of this understanding, you have to admit that there may be other things existing outside of your bubble of experience just like this thing was. the goal is to experience more of these things so that you can gain more personal understanding of the nature of yourself.

Quote:

---

I found this on this on a website - I kind of feel the same way... I think that since I have experienced nirvana or "enlightenment" I should try to help people try to find it themselves...

---

if enlightenment is an apple orchard, you might have tasted the juice of a single apple or even taken a few bites. now you say you want to share the apple's juice with others, but you havent found the tree yet. and even if you found the tree, would you know how to pick an apple? and if you start picking these apples, would you know how to water the orchard in order to make sure they keep growing?

ive seen a couple people here state they feal closest to god while in a rain forest or on a mountain or just expeirincing nature. thats because you are closer to "god".
humans are animals just like birds , fish , reptiles etc. god and religions are creations of man not an all knowng supreme being. we come from the natural world. we are born the same way as all mammals. we dont just magicly appear so therefore we are the same as all mammals. all creatures big and small have the same feeling to a lesser or greater degree. example is elephants morn there dead.
the point is we were not put here to build cities or churches we were put here to live. nothing more nothing less. there is no god there is no religion only nature. thats why when you leave the artificial world and return to nature you feal closer to god.
religion and god are concepts use to control people. for example look at the middle ages and the catholic church by enforcing the rule of god they controled everything.

whats up .

ive been reading this post and i found myself in the same situation as Psychoactive420.
i had a dream and in the dream i died.. in fact ive had a lot of these dreams. i really never thaught much of them i just been scared shitless for a few days after the dreams. i, like alot of you, have accepted the fact that ima die..thats the way of life. but in some ways these dreams still scare me. my life right now is very basic. lets just say im a professional athele and all i do is train eat sleep. i like to think that im am very stress-free. the last dream i had that i died in has had me very scared. i recently had some salvia(not to sure if thats a good thing) and it really opened up my mind. i find myself in the same situation as Psychoactive420 because i feel alone and cant talk to many people about this cause there gonna think im a wierdo or whatever. im a normal guy livin life to its fullest...
so i ask this.
am i in a state of depression? is that the reason why i am having these dreams. or is it so called nirvana as many people put it.? i also cant sleep at night..i think i have a case of insomnia...
u guys have put up some great ref. sites and books for me to read up on.
and for that i thank you =]

If you say you "think" you've tasted enlightenment, then you have not. Being "enlightened" is really simple. It's simply stepping back into the Void or "god" and remaining there. It's not complex at all, not the least bit insane, but very hard for most people to grasp or even experience. If you truly experience enlightenment, then your whole life will change, including personality.

Lucid dreaming... or maybe something spirtual.


Everyones unique ;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by donteventrip

whats up .


am i in a state of depression? is that the reason why i am having these dreams. or is it so called nirvana as many people put it.? i also cant sleep at night..i think i have a case of insomnia...
u guys have put up some great ref. sites and books for me to read up on.
and for that i thank you =]

---

You haven't given enough info about your situation. It sounds like your just scared of your dreams, which is stupid to be scared of. And you're not in nirvana. You wouldn't be scared if you were in that state.

I had a time in my life when I experienced something like that. I experienced the waves, the confusion of death. I concluded it was all related to dopamine, smoked more weed, used some various other natural drugs and voila! magically I'm fixed.

I think it was just part of growing up.. those kinds of realizations can throw you into a funky state. The trick is to realize where to channel it... now you know that whatever your goals are in life, you've got to FINISH THEM before you DIE. It's unsettling at first, but I think you will grow into it and it will become pleasant knowing that there's so much you have to do and not much time to do it in.. like when you're at the amusement park and it's closing in a few hours and you have to pick the next two or three rides you want to go on. WHEEEEEEE!!

i found this book rather enlightening. it certainly opened up a lot of ideas to me when I was going through a stage of questioning with my own spirituality, give it a read and you might find yourself looking at things in a different light.
:pipe:
Amazon.com: Many Lives, Many Masters