So confused :confused:

see other ppl he acts like a bf but her he didn't he was all like avioding me and shit...All day he bugged me to know where i was going and that he was gonna follow me and he found out this other guys been hittin on me and he was all i wanna kill him and shit it was so annoying ...and he wants to be with me not her...neway she just phoned here lookin for him and was all where is he do u know where he was what computer was he using blah blah and like honestly this is bs. God. i already told him it was over i was actually pretty mean to him. but he said he would always love me and stupid [pointless meaningless things that don't matter

The problem is hes confused not you. It doesn't matter whos right or wrong but the simple fact that there is 2 different faces, One for you and one for her means hes trying to manage a lie. If he would have told you up front that hes seeing her for her money or likes both of you or what ever it is, as long as there is no lieing then all parties can decide what they want. You may have said let just cool it a little but we can see each other here or there, but hey I may see someone else also. If he's like "F*CK that" then you need to say yea F*CK TAHT DON"T CALL ME if I can't play by the same rules as you. Just be sure that you decide what the rules are for you and he can set his own rules but you don't need to live by his rules that are open for him but very limmited for you.The lie is the worst thing going on here your just refuseing to see it, he has set a rule that lieing is OK. Well fine so lie to him back in whatever fasion benifts you. I'm not saying be all devious and mean or somebody you don't want to be, but no one ever gets hurt if everyone is truthful and plays by the same rule set whatever that may be. How could you play chess or football or basketball - if one team gets to dribble out of bounds or walk with the ball and gets 10 points for a single shot and your rule is you can't touch the ball with your hands but must use you feet and you only get 1 point per basket and the other team trys to convence you that NO THIS IS FAIR. All I'm saying is be truthful and do what you want to do.

I have been truthful to tendonut..nothing but. He seems to think i am a game and yes i see the lie...hes full of them...i want to be with him bc i do love him but its best i do not as he lies and cheats. He still hasn't told her that he don't wanna be with her she had called here like i said practically bitchin at me to tell her where he was she thought he was with me and was pissed then he walks through the door and she was all sweet as can be asked him if he wanted to talk to me and said no he don't. like shes harassin me now bc he don't show home for her...thinkin he with me and all and didn't bellive me when i told her he wanted me to go to her house which is where tendonut is staying bc appearntly i beat the crap outta him when all i did was slap him across the face for sayin shit happens when ur on break in a rude and careless way like i don't give a f*ck about u. and its like he can;t make up his mind...but he ikeeps buggin me and buggin......

Yea it all his confusion and like a cold or virus your catching it. If you have caller ID don't talk to her just give her voice mail from now on. As far as him what I'm saying is just go with the flo, let him think his lie is working say to him yea I understand everything yoursaying it makes so much since, but then do your own thing. If you try to make him march to your drum of truth ,he won't, it's better you control what you can which is you. Don't force him to learn what your trying to teach him just paly stupid for him with YOUR WORDS, but YOUR ACTIONS should say other than what your mouth is, he'll get the message that your stronger than he thinks. Hes stronger now because he does what he wants, your weaker because you got to ask him to do what you want. I just don't know all the facts but 2 faces is the oldest game in the book. Main thing don't sit around and wine about it, do your own thing or its just time lost.

thanks supertorch...i think i will he will probally read this neway as he uses this forum to but meh i really could careless. U all have great advice thank u all. I have to be strong.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BobBong

Lose this guy.
It'll hurt but in the end you won't regret it.
There are many men out there that will treat a woman properly.
You know he is cheating, confront him and breakup with him.

He's using you.

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bob has it right....

from an honest guy's point of view, theres NO FUCKING WAY he wasnt having sex with that 28 yr old if he was living with her.

i know you think "oh he loves me, maybe he wasnt fucking her"

but trust me. no chance in hell he stayed loyal to you

im sorry :( find a guy who deserves you

Its hard to find a decent guy..i thought he was the right one. He used to make me smilie laugh and i was soo happy then he want to wheable its and adult school here in london and he changed he started smokin pot all the time. Its no biggie like i do it too but it was a continous thing...B4 class after class when he got home and it was a lil much. then he started sellin acid he said and then this. now he won't leave me be. He keeps buggin me about him being with me and its driving me crazy and now shes buggin me where he is if he ain't home. He was all of an hour late and she thought he was with me just assomed and then told me i could go over there whenever i wanted to....god this is soo stupid.

fuck him. tell both of them not to call you anymore

I know exactly where you are coming from. I dated a guy that told me he was divorced, come to find out he was still married and playing around. I loved him too and fell for his lies. This guy is playing you. He wants to play around and still be with you. Don't believe his crap. I used to believe my ex's crap, he said it too. Oh I love you, you're the best I ever had, I don't cheat on you, I need you, don't look at other guys, I'll beat them up, etc, etc, etc. It was all lies. These type of guys are great at lying. They look you in the face and say they love you, and then go to the other woman and do the same thing. If you want a happy life, leave the loser, change your phone number, and if need be, put a restraining order on him and her too. You will never be happy with him. You will always wonder if you go back to him, if he is cheating on you. If he's late coming home, you'll think is he with her?, who's he with? Its not worth it to your self esteem. I know it hurts, but its better to hurt now, then to continue on with a sick relationship. I should know, I stuck around with mine for years and was so unhappy and he make me lose my self confidence. I am now single again, happy as all get out, and will never fall for his lies again. You need to leave him for good, go out with friends, take up hobbies, anything to get your mind off of him for good. If you don't you will be so unhappy that you stayed. Take care.........don't fall for the lies.

Update....well he came back to my house asked me for help...he left her place and now is in the mens mission. She knew he was leaving b4 he even picked his things up from her house. she called his other friends whom i know and is safe...and was looking for him but he didn't talk to her he is now looking for a place on his own near me and wants me to see him and crap....hes apologized to his family for messing up and to me several times and has asked everyone for help. I think he might know hes a fuck up hes been talking to my friends which know him as well and tellin them how much he fucked up and that he lost the best thing that has happened to him. I think he knows he did wrong...still not sure what i am going to do thought.