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Get yourself some industrial hemp seeds, and plant some special crops that are easiest to get to just for them. They will take them, dry and cure them, and be smoking 0.3% rope weed. They will say "man that dude can't grow shit". Your troubles are over.
interesting thread...
Beeee careful! legally if you do that and someone is hurt or dies they will come after you. where I live the po po considers that in the relm of booby trapping with intent, which is a class 2 felony, minimum 12-15 years state prison. As I am a veteran and diabolical I prefer stealth missions so that if things go south no one can point at me and back it up with evidence. I like the graveyard guard duty in the nearby bushes, in the woods or in my neighbors yard, with my 1100 fps high powered air rifle aiming at the crotch region. Put it this way, how motivated will thieves be to return to steal again if they have a hole or two through their junk...