Don't think it would be like this if I were a guy.

well whos weed is it? are other people offering to pack your weed?

I think their just trying to be nice, guys like to be nice to girls. I wouldn't take it as "oh shes a girl she can't pack a bowl"

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Originally Posted by CannabisHappiness

Not sure if this is the right place but...

Do any other females feel like they're getting ripped off, (in more than one way & in more of a social sense), because they're female?

Let me explain. I've gotten comments like "Let me pack it for you" or "Let me light it for you". My instinct is to be offended. Now, I'd be offended whether it was a male or female that made the comment, but it's males (in my stoner life) who have been saying it, and I don't know really, but it's the vibe I get and tone I hear combined that make it feel like it's because I'm female.

Now, I know I can pack a good bowl. I can light my own damn bowl. I've been smoking for a while now and I smoke pretty much every night unless there's money issues.

My other question is, should I be offended? I don't get these comments often (but often enough to be slightly annoyed). And it's seems it's only the first couple times I smoke with somebody.

Answers, opinions, advice?

Peace
:hippy:

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Male slant, again... I smoke with males and females and we might often share joints and bongs and pass around what ever is alight at that moment. No one seems to care!

Maybe your interpretation of their kind gesture has some sexual innuendo attached that you might not appreciate. Fair play!! If that is the case then you might have to suggest to them that they '...are incapable of packing it the way you like it..' or '..their gas isn't adequate for the fire you desire..'.

However you experience a situation you can always flip it and have fun with it... If it turns out you are the one making all the innuendos then it might not work in your favor, so proceed with caution.. Almost feels like a lesson in seduction!

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Originally Posted by brussels

You've got to be kidding? Right? That means to me that women 'must' change how they feel about themselves, in order to pamper that oh so fragile male ego. Bullshit!

If I become condescending and patronizing with guys, most will certainly take offense, and rightly so: then go off and stew in some childish snit rather then express themselves about what might possibly be bothering them. Oh yeah, they go into their 'cave'. You see guys, most women will face the issue, discuss it, and then move on. It's not about agree or disagree, it's all in the process. And before you think I'm some bull dyke feminest, well it ain't so. I happen to like you guys around, as long as you can be house trained. lol

Gender has not one iota to do with being offensive. If men would simply be more submissive, learn to establish a repore*, and not get so freaked if another guys gives'em a huge, it would be such a lovely place to live...B

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I cant be certain, but judging from his other quotes, Im not sure he meant it quite the way you took it. Lol the funny thing is that you got mad at him for saying that, then turned around and said the same thing!!! Youre silly! But I like you, because youre sassy :p

Why must one gender be more or less submissive? I deal with lots of females.. always have, always will.. I love em. In some interactions I am more dominant, and in others more submissive, depending on the scenario and what the situation requires for a beneficial outcome. However, when averaged out, I am neither dominant NOR submissive. I am simply and blissfully coexistant.

EDIT: Sorry.. to the OP.. I got the impression from your post that it is happening while you are actually packing it up, or attempting to light it. And you stated that the way they said it made you feel like it was because they felt they could do a better job. If its your weed, then tell em to fuck off! Lol fo shizzle. Raise an eyebrow at them, look at them like theyre stupid and say "what... I dont know how to pack and light a fuckin bowl????"

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Originally Posted by GraziLovesMary

I cant be certain, but judging from his other quotes, Im not sure he meant it quite the way you took it. Lol the funny thing is that you got mad at him for saying that, then turned around and said the same thing!!! Youre silly! But I like you, because youre sassy :p

Why must one gender be more or less submissive? I deal with lots of females.. always have, always will.. I love em. In some interactions I am more dominant, and in others more submissive, depending on the scenario and what the situation requires for a beneficial outcome. However, when averaged out, I am neither dominant NOR submissive. I am simply and blissfully coexistant.

EDIT: Sorry.. to the OP.. I got the impression from your post that it is happening while you are actually packing it up, or attempting to light it. And you stated that the way they said it made you feel like it was because they felt they could do a better job. If its your weed, then tell em to fuck off! Lol fo shizzle. Raise an eyebrow at them, look at them like theyre stupid and say "what... I dont know how to pack and light a fuckin bowl????"

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I tried giving you rep again, but it won't let me until I give more to other people. I was just going to attach a note saying

"Same ideas, but mine's only a sentence, I win :D"

hahah but yeah, sorry for the aside y'all.

I think that if you are assertive, you won't give men the CHANCE to make sweet yet possibly outdated offers to perform simple tasks for you.

If it bothers you that someone offers to roll a j for you, head off the offer by taking the initiative to roll it yourself.
If a man does not want to be in the traditional role where he depends on a woman to feed him or do housework, he should take the initiative to do the laundry or whatever.

If you are naturally a leader, your gender will not matter.

I tend to offer to light the bowl for girls, especially since most of them(that I know) dont toke that often. Also girls appreciate it more, while a guy might feel homophobic, or like i'm looking down on him.

I think it's a sweet, gentlemanly gesture just like the offer to light a lady's cigarette or hold out a chair. Problem is, there are so many young women nowadays who've never seen such offers extended that such gentle chivalry takes them by surprise and makes them feel like they're being condescended to instead of pampered.

I think it's lovely when either gender extends a courtesy to the other, whether it's fetching a drink, serving a plate, opening a door or lighting something to be lit. I confess that when men hold my chair out for me or hold doors open, I find that very charming and sexy. I'm an old lady, though, so I remember when that was standard operating behavior.

As a man I try and shy away from doing things like that until a woman truly knows that I respect her. I can see how a random guy offering to "Help the helpless flower" can be irritating but when you know his true nature of equality and good nature I feel all should be forgiven. Oh and some of the advice is kinda iffy if you catch my drift so I'd sift and skim where and when needed.

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Originally Posted by birdgirl73

I think it's a sweet, gentlemanly gesture just like the offer to light a lady's cigarette or hold out a chair. Problem is, there are so many young women nowadays who've never seen such offers extended that such gentle chivalry takes them by surprise and makes them feel like they're being condescended to instead of pampered.

I think it's lovely when either gender extends a courtesy to the other, whether it's fetching a drink, serving a plate, opening a door or lighting something to be lit. I confess that when men hold my chair out for me or hold doors open, I find that very charming and sexy. I'm an old lady, though, so I remember when that was standard operating behavior.

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See I agree with you, except for the fact that Ive witnessed her situation many times. Sometimes it is the guy trying to be chivalrous, and other times it is the guy being impatient and wanting to do it himself because he is obsessive and has no faith in her abilities. Seeing as how I wasnt there I cant really guess which one it was, but she seems to get the impression it was the latter.

Oh well!

I'd offer to do it because I'm a nice guy, but I'd hope that if the girl was offended or wanted to do it herself she'd say something instead of just making us both feel wierd about it. And if she didn't happen to know how the piece worked, I wouldn't do it for her - I'd show her how to use it so she can feel like a more confident smoker. But it's usually obvious who knows how to smoke and who doesn't - my cousin is dating the sweetest girl, but she can hit like a pro. And before anyone takes it as sexism, note that I'd do the same thing for a dude who's a novice too.

It feels nice to do nice things for nice people.

EDIT: Post 429! I wasn't paying attention, guess I missed 420. :(