Rambling: 26 and never been in a relationship.

i have to say, being overweight, while not always a factor, will reduce your chances. if you arnt willing to make the needed changes, then thats your choice, so you cant complain about the results.

also, you are retarted if you are requiring your women to be into everything you are into. thats unrealistic, and also pretty sad if you would dismiss a potential canidate (particularly in your situation) just because you dont share all the same like and dislikes.

I feel for you, but you cant expect shit to just happen for you, it requires effort.

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Originally Posted by LegalizeTheGreen

i have to say, being overweight, while not always a factor, will reduce your chances. if you arn't willing to make the needed changes, then thats your choice, so you cant complain about the results.

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I thought that if you find someone that truly loves you for you they'd look past such "superficial" things? The fact is if I were to alter my life to get into shape that would be such a drastic change that it would be changing who I am. Period. The things I do and enjoy have the drawback and to get into shape I'd have to completely stop them or drastically cut back. Sorry I'm not going to change everything about me just to get someone else to like me. And if I can't simply be myself and that be enough then I have EVERY right to complain.

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also, you are retarted

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"retarded" ..found that ironic.

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if you are requiring your women to be into everything you are into. thats unrealistic, and also pretty sad if you would dismiss a potential canidate (particularly in your situation) just because you dont share all the same like and dislikes.

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She doesn't need to be into EVERYTHING I'm into, but if a relationship has ANY hope of being something longlasting we have to have something in common that we enjoy doing together. A relationship built solely on attraction and sex while likely fun for the short term isn't going to be some life long thing. Eventually the excitement would end and then it would be two people with nothing in common. You strip away the attraction bullshit and if there is nothing else there then there is nothing there to begin with.

The fact is I spend pretty much all my time as a gamer or movie buff. That's what I know, that's what I can talk about for any length of time. I frankly am going to HAVE to have a woman that is either a gamer or movie buff themselves.

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I feel for you, but you cant expect shit to just happen for you, it requires effort.

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So your saying unless I "make an effort" and change everything about myself and fall for any female on two legs regardless of common likes/dislikes then I can't expect anything to happen? I find that highly flawed and likely reason for such a high divorce rate these days.

well physical attraction is important too. I mean im sure you would expect a girlfriend to take care of her self.

Hey Malkane, I'm 27 and I'm in the same boat.. BUT a few years ago I actually started exercising and it only takes like 1 hour a day seriously it doesn't cut into your gaming or whatever. I also quit eating sweets and breads and pasta, basically a low carb, and it DID increase my testosterone. My hair started growing thicker, etc. Women started becoming friendlier and all that and I had lost about 70 pounds. I also just felt healthier and I started enjoying some of the activities I always thought were dumb. Then I had a lifestyle change and lots of things come up that were very stressful financially and I sorta fell off the wagon and gained back 30 pounds and I feel like crap again but I'm gonna get back on and this time it's gonna work better than ever. But for real, I'm not one of these naturally skinny guys who's acting like it's due to all their hard work or whatever when really they just do whatever they feel like and stay in shape. I know what you're going through (Not specifically but in general ) Oh yeah and I also have the really high sex drive, maybe it's a compulsion I beat it like five or six times a day most of the time. But I heard once that when you have a partner you stay good for a much longer period of time, like once a day would be enough. I don't know if that's true though.

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Originally Posted by Melkane

I thought that if you find someone that truly loves you for you they'd look past such "superficial" things? The fact is if I were to alter my life to get into shape that would be such a drastic change that it would be changing who I am. Period. The things I do and enjoy have the drawback and to get into shape I'd have to completely stop them or drastically cut back. Sorry I'm not going to change everything about me just to get someone else to like me. And if I can't simply be myself and that be enough then I have EVERY right to complain.

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What do you have to stop? I'm not telling you to stop anything. I'm suggesting you add. It doesn't require drastic changes. Baby steps man. Going for the moon will end up in failure. Bit by bit, build it up.

Sure a person eventually has to love you for who you are, but first you have to draw them in with some attraction. That's why it's important to look good, and show you take care of yourself. How are you expected to take care of a woman if you can't take care of yourself?

Something to ponder.

You have an animal inside you, you have to let out at some point.

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Originally Posted by Melkane

Well as old as I am, I've heard the pep talks and motivation speeches plenty of times. I found the motivation to quit smoking cigarettes because I really didn't like smoking and I didn't like how it was making me feel. However my weight problems stem from the types of foods I love and the hobbies I enjoy and I'm unwilling to give them up or drastically reduce them. I've never minded being overweight though since I quit smoking my weight skyrocketed upwards and while I'm definitely not happy with my current weight I don't see much I could do about it without changing my whole lifestyle around. I would love to lose about 100lbs. but it most likely never will happen. Besides I've seen plenty of fat guys get women.

The environment in which I would meet a woman is important to me, I don't want a "party girl". I hate parties and large amounts of socializing for the most part. Meeting some girl at party is likely to lead to a bad fit as most likely any woman I meet at said event went there because they like them. In reality the woman I need is going to have to be into the same stuff I am, gaming, movies, tv etc...and it's highly doubtful I'm going to see that woman at a party or at the bar or some place like that.


What's that intended to mean? :wtf:

I've never really got into online dating, I mean I've just considered them to be big scams for the most part. The few people that say they've had success with them I chalk up to pure luck.

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What about an empathetic "party girl?" Would that better suit you?

Hey Dude, I know that life can throw you some tough blows, but there are things you can do to help yourself out. I think that the first step for you is to get your head in the right direction. Finding the right person is a difficult task that some people never complete. Not to get all psycho-analytical on you, but I think that you have a confidence problem, probably spurred on by your weight. I personally suggest that you go to the doctor and get some information on SSRI's (Selective Serotonine Reuptake Inhibitors). You can see your general doctor for this, no need to see a psychiatrist. I suffer from a confidence problem and they work wonders. A nice side bonus is that the one I take (Zoloft), decreases your appetite, so you will drop a few pounds right off the bat. Beyond that, getting some sort of cardio workout will exponentially help your weight loss. Appearances are important, because that is really where your first impression lies with. I know it sucks, but that is reality. You will find someone, but you really need to seek it out, because often, unless you are really lucky, your soulmate will not just appear on your door step. Getting into some activities will help you meet new people. This is especially true if you join a gym and get into some of the classes. You should not have to change your interests to make the other person fit, the relationship will fit naturally. I feel for you bro, but your problems are definitely not without solutions. Good luck!

yeahhh man, if you dont wanna lose weight it's on you, most girls like healthy males, and looks is a big thing, you can say personality this and that, but it's bs, girls and guys look for looks first, personality second when you actually go talk to them,

Wow wanting to remove sexual desire? come on now! There is someone out there for everyone, don't give yup, some people don't meet the right person until they are 40 or even older, so hang in there, and be glad you were blessed with the gift of pleasure. never wish that to be taken away! You will get yours don't worry.

oh and about changing your apperence, (no one get mad its just my opinon) yes you should want to be with someone because of who they are, not what they look like, ---- but not looking good tells you something about the person, when you are overweight (to me) it says you don't care about yourself enough to stay healthy and that you have a low self esteem. I am not shallow, but I wouldn;t date an overweight guy because of those reasons. so maybe you should just chalk it go on a diet, feel healthier, look better, and hopefully get some new bitches.