i'd really appreciate it if you'd get off my dick.Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth Vapor
either way.... i got the answers i was looking for last night
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i'd really appreciate it if you'd get off my dick.Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth Vapor
either way.... i got the answers i was looking for last night
wow slip, thats intense....I wish i knew what to say
Have these answers brought you any relief or closure ?
yeah billionfold helped me alot that night... it isn't so much that i got closure.. just put things into prespective for me.
That's good to hear mate, nice one Billionfold, the online agony aunt lol
How can you say that? She is out enjoying her life after what happened and you are still losing sleep over it. I don't mean to sound insensitive, slip. I can imagine all the hurt I have caused my family and friends, and to think about all that pain is far too much for one heart to bare. I cry and when I wipe the tears of the past away, things become to take shape and form perspective. Stop perpetuating your misery, slip. It'll kill you, man.Quote:
Originally Posted by slipknotpsycho
I often wonder what keeps us stuck. I read somewhere once that it is the same thing that keeps the animal in its cage, even when the door is open and he has the chance to walk free. Habit.
When you don??t know what else to do other than feel how you??ve felt for so long, it makes it hard to comprehend when someone says to you: just get over it. It??s then that you must ask yourself (in Dr. Phil??s southern drawl) ??How??s that workin?? for ya??
If you think you are somehow honoring her by clinging to the pain and guilt, and that somehow by informing her of it, some miraculous healing will take place, then you are mistaken. I think you know that already. Be reassured - there is nothing wrong with what you are feeling! Be empowered - you have a choice as to how you deal with this now. Stay stuck, or use your pain as a catalyst for positive change.
I love the idea of writing her a letter. That may seem overwhelming at first but just block off some time and sit down alone and make yourself do it. Just start anywhere and just write and write and write. Everything you have mentioned, all your regrets, all the things you would have done differently, and how all that has made you the man you are today, etc. You will be amazed at what will come to your brain when you start to get it down on paper. Then DO NOT send it to her. Get rid of it. It??s even therapeutic in how you destroy it: set it on fire or tear it up into tiny little pieces, throw it away then take the trash out. Let all of it go, once and for all. What would honor her (and more importantly, your wife) most would be you doing a little work to get yourself to a place where you can finally forgive yourself. All my best.
maybe there is still some resentment? or words left unsaid?
i have been trying to figure out how to let my pain out, and to not look back... and i think i completely understand what your saying... i have been doing this lately, and man i believe it is working, just move on forgive forget... know that love will come again, and pain is only for the moment not to hold on to forever,.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ganj
I feel so much better after getting this concept into my head.. The weight of pain has been lifted and it feels good.
Maybe you feel empty because after all the discussion between you and her of this issue...you left on an angry or disappointing note. I ran into this one time with a girl. What I did was think long and hard and remember something I knew she loved but that only her and I would understand, I made her a gift that dealt with that thing she loved in some way and I left it on her porch. I knew that she would see it and she would smile, and know who it was from. And that made me feel ok, it was my way of closing things on a positive note.