Screw ups (sorry mods, no other term for it that i know)

[slipknotpsycho]

ever fuck up like REALLY horribly in your life... pertaining to relationships and even tho it's been years upon years you can't seem to let it go....? even tho both of you have famalies now, you just can't let it go... you have no real desire to go back with them or anything... you just feel things are 'unresolved' (best word i can think of) even tho everything has been thoroughly explained?


i dunno what to do anymore -.- i'ts really starting to get to me... i thought with time after i explained what happened it'd all just go away... but i still think about it... every fucking night... i know i'm going to regret this post later... but it's true ... i have no desire to be with my ex, we BOTH have families and i'm very happy with mine, i imagine she is with hers... but i fucked up seriously with her...

i hurt her badly, and deeply... i might as well of stuck a butcher knife in her chest... and i still to this day feel guilty over it, even tho she seems to be ok now.. i just want to be able to put this all behind me and move on.. but honestly don't think i'll be able to move on until i put this behind me... i can still feel it.... it's like i stuck the knife in my own chest.... i hurt too =/

we've already talked, afterwards i mean.. and we've already both came to the conclusion it was better, we've both apparently 'moved on' but i still feel the pain... i mean don't get me wrong, i have no desire to be with her... (and no i'm not just saying that cuz snookums will end up reading this) i really don't... i know lust/desire and it's not there... i just feel hurt... it's the only word to explain it.. i feel...... empty... (although i'm not cuz i hold love for my son and for snookums... so i can't be empty) i'm confused at what to do... i want to move on, but something isn't letting me...

help me

slipknotpsycho Reviewed by slipknotpsycho on 06-26-2007. Screw ups (sorry mods, no other term for it that i know) ever fuck up like REALLY horribly in your life... pertaining to relationships and even tho it's been years upon years you can't seem to let it go....? even tho both of you have famalies now, you just can't let it go... you have no real desire to go back with them or anything... you just feel things are 'unresolved' (best word i can think of) even tho everything has been thoroughly explained? i dunno what to do anymore -.- i'ts really starting to get to me... i thought with time after i Rating: 5

[slipknotpsycho]

That's deep man.. I'm sorry about your troubles, and good luck resolving them. Give her a call or something :hippy:

i can't... i can't talk to her .... =/ i'm to afriad of blubbering like an idiot to her when i'm married and she has a kid with some guy (and i believe she's engaged)..

she was basicly the girl i ever had minus snookums (my wife) that meant anything to me... i'm not am an whore but i had my share, but she is the only one who meant anything...

besides... =/ she never wants to talk to me anyways... i'm so desperate to talk to anyone in desperation it might help, i asked people in lounge that are up late too... i just don't know what to do.... i'm lost...

[Darth Vapor]

Imagine the pain you'll cause your wife, if you keep on this path of guilt ridden destruction, compared to pain you caused some broad years ago. Then we'll have to talk you down out of that tree. No offense, but your existance isn't what other people's lives revolve around. In other words, you want to unburden yourself of some pointless guilt of yesteryear, just to make yourself feel better. You don't want to make your ex feel better about what happened, so quit trying to sound like a martyr. You're just trying to make yourself feel better, not her. You apparently don't care if it hurts her, or her kid, or her new love, or your wife, or your son, or anyone else, so long as you feel better, but you hide behind this false pretense that you'll be helping your ex get over something.

In short... IT'S OVER!

You are Jack's Selfish Ego.

[AR15]

Sorry for your troubles man. If this is eating you up so much, then you need to get it off your chest.

Write her a letter telling her exactly how you feel. If you take the time and put enough effort into it, you can put what you want to say in words that she can clearly read. Nothing will be lost in the translation.

If you need to say that you're sorry for something, then man up. Just tell her you're sorry. Spill your guts, tell her exactly how you feel and how you just want it to end. Make it clear that you lie with your wife and kid, make it absolutely fucking clear so there's no misconceptions at all. Most importantly, get your point across to her. Once you know she accepts it and is completely over it, I think then you can let go.

My $0.02

[Divadish]

DV got it bang on, let it go, opening up old wounds for no good reason other than self-guilt is not on. By the sounds of it you have a loving relationship with both your partner and your son, enjoy your life with them and don't be distracted by things that have been and gone, life's too short my friend

[slipknotpsycho]

Imagine the pain you'll cause your wife, if you keep on this path of guilt ridden destruction, compared to pain you caused some broad years ago. Then we'll have to talk you down out of that tree. No offense, but your existance isn't what other people's lives revolve around. In other words, you want to unburden yourself of some pointless guilt of yesteryear, just to make yourself feel better. You don't want to make your ex feel better about what happened, so quit trying to sound like a martyr. You're just trying to make yourself feel better, not her. You apparently don't care if it hurts her, or her kid, or her new love, or your wife, or your son, or anyone else, so long as you feel better, but you hide behind this false pretense that you'll be helping your ex get over something.

In short... IT'S OVER!

You are Jack's Selfish Ego.

my wife acutally knows of the guilt... she knows history...

sorrry to tell you dude... but there are more than likey going to be problems in your life where you have to solve that should'n't 'actually matter' once your married...b ut they willl..... maybe you're not married and haven't gone thorugh it yet, or maybe you are marreid and just haven't gotten to them yet....

i'm married and have a son... i can't just run to her and make things right... which is where alot of the trouble resides... i have to make this right with myself so i can once and for all move on, while not destroying hers or my family.. and obviously (me and the wife have been married for 3 years... known each other for like 8... been together like coming up on 7?) just 'forgetting about it' is not exactly an option.... this has been plauging me for awhile.... and for the last year or more i've pretended it hasn't bothered me.. but it has... i need help.. so really.. please dude.... i'm sorry about any othe rthreads... but i'm literally at my ropes end here... i need help... and i'd really rather not have the negative responses...

btw... "how would your wife feel" or simliar shit really won't work... i KNOW how they'd feel (wife or son when he got older if i followed stupid decisoins) and that's why i'm trying to find a healthy way to deal with this shit.. without breaking up mine or her family...

[slipknotpsycho]

One step in the dark
Touch her hand just to see
If she's all alone again
Still she hasn't seen sun
But i promise you now when she wakes
There will be none
Don't know how she gets by
Sleeps with a phone on her chest
And a bottle that's totally dry
Forgets the day i was born
But if she saw me right now

She would hold me until we both die
I could be the one who would die to
Feel you breathe
I could break into a million pieces
So just run as fast as you can for me
You mean everything

I can't deny her. i'll do whatever
To stop all the bleeding that makes
Her world so red
Such a delicate one
She screams so loud that i run to
Hide from the sound
And i could be the one who would die
To feel you breathe
But it's too far-gone
And this love must die

currently the song i'm listening to.. although not for all the lyrics.. i can bold them if any smart ass needs those bolded =/

[Darth Vapor]

slipknotpsycho said...... "how would your wife feel" or simliar shit really won't work... i KNOW how they'd feel (wife or son when he got older if i followed stupid decisoins) and that's why i'm trying to find a healthy way to deal with this shit.. without breaking up mine or her family... "

Yes, it does work. It's called puting someone elses happiness before your own. It's called love. It's called being a grown up.

By the way, I'm just spit balling here, but I doubt asking the advice of Cannabis.com visitors at 3:00 a.m. really qualifies as a "healthy way to deal with this shit." YOU'RE creating this shit. YOU! JUST YOU!!! Not your wife. Not your ex. Not your son. Not your ex's child. Not your ex's new love. Not your mommy or daddy, 'cuz they didn't hug you enough. Not your mommy or daddy, 'cuz they hugged you too much. Go punch a pillow, and realize you're not that important, other than the fact that, yes, you could really screw up a good thing for everyone.

By the way, no matter how much you try to kid yourself, about how understanding and empathetic your wife is to your 'situation'... she thinks you're a complete asshole for involving her in your little guilt trip, about a stupid ex-girlfriend.

[crudemood]

You should definately write a letter to her, I think that is the best way to go. You won't get so emotional while doing it and you will probably do write it with you're head on straight and you'll be able to say everything you want clearly.

[cannabis campbell]

Doesnt your wife post here aswell!!!!???